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It fills me with gratitude to realize that this July marks 13 years that we’ve been relaxing, healing, and uplifting people at The Dragontree. Anniversaries are a thing I’ve given increasing attention to in the last decade or so – and not just because I’ve been married to someone who likes it when I remember ours.
Anniversaries come up with surprising frequency in my treatment room. Patients often tell me that the anniversary of an injury or other trauma brings a return of certain bodily sensations or a change in consciousness. They report that they can perceive the approaching anniversary of a loved one’s death because subtle environmental cues – the angle of the sun, the smell of the lilacs, the quiet of snowfall – trigger feelings and memories.
For me and Briana, this time of year brings memories of the crazy stress we went through before the opening of our Boulder store. In the fall of 2012, we were “preapproved” by our bank for a commercial loan to build a spa in our beloved mountain town. But due to many personnel changes at the bank and lots of mishandling of the loan process, we ended up on a rollercoaster that involved finding a building and constructing the spa, spending every dime we had (and many borrowed dimes, too), and finally, eight months into it, being notified by the bank that they weren’t going to fund it after all.
The bank pulled out exactly three years ago. In the summer of 2013, while desperately seeking a way to prevent this fiasco from taking down The Dragontree completely, we routinely brought our daughter to drama camp and watched her performances of Cinderella and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. We hoped to maintain a sense of normalcy in our family life even as we wondered if we’d still be able to afford our house payments if this project fell through. There were times when I was watching adorable children fixing their costumes and fumbling their lines, but instead of feeling lighthearted about what was happening in front of me, I was freaking out about what was happening with our business.
As a consequence, that camp is linked to an experience of stress that cut a deep groove in my mind and body. My daughter still goes there, and a few weeks ago, when Briana and I were taking our seats for a rousing performance of The Sneetches, I realized it was the anniversary of that ordeal. The sights, smells, and sounds of that place were triggering a jittery feeling in my body. I mentioned it to my wife. “Me too,” she replied.
That anniversary was a good reminder to gauge how I’ve changed and healed since then, and to continue the healing process. A friend was telling me recently about the great relationship she has with her father, who happens to be deceased. She explained that she sees each anniversary of his death as a chance to revisit the terms of their relationship. I like that.
On the anniversary of our loan ordeal, I choose to continually rewrite the story – reminding myself that ultimately we came out of it unscathed – and to be grateful for all the good people and resources that helped us make it through. And on the anniversary of The Dragontree as a company, I’m choosing to recommit. We work well together.
I encourage you to try bringing more attention to the various anniversaries in your life – of anything that made a deep groove, whether positive, negative, or mixed – and in doing so, to notice how you’ve processed and integrated this experience over the years. There’s an opportunity to redefine the way you relate to this event, to renew your commitment, to learn, to be grateful, and to rewrite your story about what happened.
Thanks for sharing the past 13 years with us.
Be
so well,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => Using Anniversaries to Heal and Grow
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In part 4 of Live Pain Free, Dr. Peter Borten will discuss the roles of sleep and stress in relation to pain.
[post_title] => Live Pain Free Video Blog Part 4
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If you’re anything like me you’ve been reflecting on 2019 and nestling into your goals for 2020. I’ve been using my Dreambook to dive deep into what matters most to me in all aspects of my life, so that as I move forward my actions are inspired toward the bigger vision. It’s been an amazing experience. The goals I’ve set this year feel really connected, and spacious, and incredibly ambitious.
I can’t wait!
For some, setting goals and making plans is fun, exciting, and even nourishing. For others, it’s more stressful. It feels like a lot of pressure, or just really uncomfortable. We see this a lot in our Facebook community . People start the new year with big dreams, but when it comes time to turn those dreams into an actionable plan, they get scared and second guess themselves. The right next step becomes fuzzy, and some people stop moving forward.
But it doesn’t have to happen that way!
Here are three reasons we fail to achieve our goals, and what you can do to prevent these common setbacks from slowing you down.
1) We put a huge amount of pressure on this one random day to be the end-all-be-all of fresh starts. But the truth is, we have a great opportunity every day to make a fresh start. So if you fail January 15th, who’s to say you can’t start fresh January 16th? You don’t have to wait until the next New Year comes around.
If you commit to any one thing this year, maybe it should be to let each day be a fresh start.
2) We do it half-ass. I don’t mean to be rude, but let’s be honest, sometimes we set goals or resolutions and then act as if it’s an annoyance to even consider giving it our attention.
Give it 100%. Because the life you desire deserves your 100%, after all, this is your life! Whether the goal is to have more connection with your family, to marry your soul mate, to make a million dollars, to feed hungry children, or to invent the best earplugs this world has ever seen – commit to your best. Every. Day.
3) We often don’t have a system in place to help us achieve these goals. If we set a goal or resolution, but we don’t create the structure to ensure it’s fulfillment, then we have set ourselves up to fai l.
Get clear about your intentions. If you really want it, get it. Find a proven system, and work the steps. Your results depend on whether or not you continually take action and have a positive mindset for optimal success. You have to have both, and having a structure that supports both is ideal. It’s why we created the Dreambook and and why I’m so passionate about sharing the next step to a vibrant, centered and peaceful life: Dreaming+Planning:Create Your Well Life (currently 50% off through January 7th)
I’m not saying it’s the only system that will get you there, but it’s one I know definitely works.
So, to celebrate you, and all the amazing things you’re going to do in 2020, we're offering 50% off enrollment in Dreaming and Planning , and all of our online courses *, through January 7th!
If you've been thinking about taking the next steps and creating a life that feels balanced, successful, and meaningful, there will never be a better time than now!
If you have a dream that isn’t realized - Join Us .
If you feel like your potential isn’t totally tapped - Join Us .
If you keep trying the same thing, and it isn’t working – Join Us .
If you want more of the beauty and richness life has to offer - Join Us .
Dragontree online courses have helped thousands of people live a more vibrant, centered, and peaceful life, and now it’s your time!
I know you can make 2020 your best year ever!
Love,
Briana
[post_title] => What if you tried this instead?
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It fills me with gratitude to realize that this July marks 13 years that we’ve been relaxing, healing, and uplifting people at The Dragontree. Anniversaries are a thing I’ve given increasing attention to in the last decade or so – and not just because I’ve been married to someone who likes it when I remember ours.
Anniversaries come up with surprising frequency in my treatment room. Patients often tell me that the anniversary of an injury or other trauma brings a return of certain bodily sensations or a change in consciousness. They report that they can perceive the approaching anniversary of a loved one’s death because subtle environmental cues – the angle of the sun, the smell of the lilacs, the quiet of snowfall – trigger feelings and memories.
For me and Briana, this time of year brings memories of the crazy stress we went through before the opening of our Boulder store. In the fall of 2012, we were “preapproved” by our bank for a commercial loan to build a spa in our beloved mountain town. But due to many personnel changes at the bank and lots of mishandling of the loan process, we ended up on a rollercoaster that involved finding a building and constructing the spa, spending every dime we had (and many borrowed dimes, too), and finally, eight months into it, being notified by the bank that they weren’t going to fund it after all.
The bank pulled out exactly three years ago. In the summer of 2013, while desperately seeking a way to prevent this fiasco from taking down The Dragontree completely, we routinely brought our daughter to drama camp and watched her performances of Cinderella and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. We hoped to maintain a sense of normalcy in our family life even as we wondered if we’d still be able to afford our house payments if this project fell through. There were times when I was watching adorable children fixing their costumes and fumbling their lines, but instead of feeling lighthearted about what was happening in front of me, I was freaking out about what was happening with our business.
As a consequence, that camp is linked to an experience of stress that cut a deep groove in my mind and body. My daughter still goes there, and a few weeks ago, when Briana and I were taking our seats for a rousing performance of The Sneetches, I realized it was the anniversary of that ordeal. The sights, smells, and sounds of that place were triggering a jittery feeling in my body. I mentioned it to my wife. “Me too,” she replied.
That anniversary was a good reminder to gauge how I’ve changed and healed since then, and to continue the healing process. A friend was telling me recently about the great relationship she has with her father, who happens to be deceased. She explained that she sees each anniversary of his death as a chance to revisit the terms of their relationship. I like that.
On the anniversary of our loan ordeal, I choose to continually rewrite the story – reminding myself that ultimately we came out of it unscathed – and to be grateful for all the good people and resources that helped us make it through. And on the anniversary of The Dragontree as a company, I’m choosing to recommit. We work well together.
I encourage you to try bringing more attention to the various anniversaries in your life – of anything that made a deep groove, whether positive, negative, or mixed – and in doing so, to notice how you’ve processed and integrated this experience over the years. There’s an opportunity to redefine the way you relate to this event, to renew your commitment, to learn, to be grateful, and to rewrite your story about what happened.
Thanks for sharing the past 13 years with us.
Be
so well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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