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What do you like about your anxiety?
This is a question I’ve asked many of my patients. Unsurprisingly, almost everyone’s initial response is “nothing.” But over time (especially in people who are determined to get the most out of their unpleasant experiences) I’ve seen anxiety become a gift that re-orients people in a profound way.
I’ve learned many strategies for managing anxiety directly, some of which I shared in my
last article. They can really help. However, my greatest intention isn’t merely that we can effectively manage anxiety when it arises, but that our basic orientation is to be attuned to what’s good, what’s working, and what we
love about life.
So this time I’m going to share self-care practices to guide you back to the love beneath that fear.
It’s true that fear isn’t usually a
healthy expression of love, but sometimes it is – like when love spurs fear in a parent and they rush into harm’s way to save a child. Most of the time we’re afraid, though, the underlying love is so contorted by the mind that it doesn’t feel like love at all. It just feels nasty and horrible, and we get into a vicious circle whereby the feeling prompts fearful thoughts and the thoughts heighten the feelings, and so on.
But deeper than all of that craziness, we love life, we love ourselves, and we love others. I would like to invite you this week to bring your anxious feelings back to the loving point of their origin.
1) Practice good posture. Having a straight spine automatically helps you to breathe more fully. It also has a subtle effect on your mood. It’s easier to feel threatened, weak, or like a victim when you’re slouching; conversely, when you sit or stand tall, with a straight spine, you’ll naturally feel clearer and more confident.
2) State the facts (in the morning and always). What you do in the morning affects your whole day, so start with a brief and enthusiastic session of truth telling. What is good right now? Are you alive? Are you breathing? Did the sun rise again? Do you have enough to eat? Say it.
Who do you choose to be today? A light-hearted person? A truth-telling person? An emissary of love in the world? A devoted servant to the highest good of the world? Say it.
Pausing, noticing, and stating the facts about what’s good in your life is like hitting the save button. It programs your mind to continue to spot the good stuff. It reconfigures you for peace.
And stating the facts during fearful times is like becoming a warrior with a razor sharp sword. With your loving fierceness, you cut through the collective illusions and emotional fog, reminding yourself and others,
We didn’t jump into the world just so we could cower from life. The truth is bigger (and better) than the story we’re telling each other.
3) Get connected to the elements. Spend time in nature, ideally including some direct contact of skin to earth and natural bodies of water. Some people with anxiety also report that they feel much better with sun exposure. Others feel a benefit from sitting in front of a fire or even several candles. Besides helping to realign you with the rhythm of the natural world, it’s also a nice break from your electronic devices and media.
4) Establish a daily routine and stick to it. Predictability helps stabilize a wayward mind and helps the body get into a consistent rhythm. This means setting a regular bedtime and wake time, having meals at the same time each day, exercising on a regular basis at the same time, meditating at the same time, bathing at the same time, etc. Of course, your routine shouldn’t be strict in a way that generates stress if you stray from it – it’s something you do out of kindness for yourself.
5) Love actively. There’s no use in trying to obliterate fear. That would be like trying to destroy the sound of ‘middle C’ on a piano. Fear is a frequency of energy. No matter how you train yourself to cut it out of your life, you can always call it up again. Instead, focus on the love beneath.
What do you
love that your mind tells you is threatened? Give your attention to loving what you love instead. Love is so much stronger and bigger than fear, and unlike fear, love is a unifying and creative force. If you’re out of practice, find the things that are easiest to love, like kittens and donuts, and feel the love opening your heart. Then practice expanding that love to envelop yourself, your neighbor, your houseplants . . . and your fear. Then go bigger.
All along, keep opening your heart. Just imagine it opening like a golden ring in the center of your chest. Learn to feel when it closes, and patiently open it again and again and again.
Love will prevail. Always.
Dr. Peter Borten
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Now that we know eclipses don’t mean the end of the world, we can reframe them however we choose. If you didn’t do anything special for the solar eclipse, it’s not too late consider the symbolism of the event and use it as an opportunity to grow.
The most obvious characteristic of an eclipse is a darkening of the light. I believe lightness is a fundamental characteristic of every sentient being. When we encounter someone whose light shines brightly, it’s like they illuminate the room and elevate those around them. So, what’s dimming – or even eclipsing – your light? Do you hide it? Are there unresolved conflicts that keep you in the darkness? Is it hard for you to even perceive the light within you? What happens when you invite your light to spread? When you allow it access to all parts of you?
What kind of effect do you have on your community and environment? Are you a force of light or do you cast a shadow? What facets of the world do you withhold light from because you feel they’re somehow wrong or undeserving? What happens when you deny light to something or someone you judge negatively – and then what happens when you shine your light on it anyway?
Another way to interpret an eclipse is that it’s symbolic of the shadow coming to the forefront. How is your relationship with your shadow side? What parts of yourself have you kept suppressed, unaccepted, or denied? Denial of our shadow is inevitably uncomfortable and squelches our potential. How can you rise to your full power if there’s a part of you that isn’t integrated or acknowledged? It can only undermine you. This is a good time to notice what you’ve kept in the shadows and offer it acceptance and forgiveness. You are all of this.
In a similar way to the internal shadow, you may have noticed a recent emergence of our collective shadow in the sociopolitical world – more blatant corruption, racism, and warmongering. Though such events can be distressing to witness, they’re sort of like a symptom that has just gotten unpleasant enough to cause people to respond. These times have prompted so many people to become engaged in their community and local government, to vote, to share their gifts, to stand up for what’s right and to shine their light.
Letting our virtuous highest selves lead the way is like coming into alignment – and that’s another unique property of eclipses. They’re a time of extraordinary alignment, when the three main celestial bodies in our lives – Earth, Moon, and Sun – line up perfectly. What are YOU choosing to align with? Do you have a guiding light that helps you make decisions and remember what matters? If not, spend some time in nature, journal about what inspires you, and meditate with the intention of reaching beyond your mind. It’s best if you discover this for yourself, but if you have a hard time feeling it, try aligning yourself with this: Love. Let love guide you and your light will naturally shine forth and light the way. No special glasses necessary.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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It’s safe to assume everyone’s heard of the coronavirus at this point and may even have some feelings around it. I read and posted a beneficial article I found on NPR and would love to share a few main points here as well.
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention is telling Americans they should prepare for the possibility of a Coronavirus outbreak. Prepare... not panic...
Here are some common-sense things you and your family can do to prepare.
1) Stock up on particular products such as daily medications (if you take them), any non-perishable foods that may carry you through for a couple of weeks, as well as your go-to sick foods such as soup and broth as well as crackers. Stocking up is essential because if you do get sick, you want to be able to ride it out from home. I love the idea of making extra bone broth and homemade soup to freeze!
Remember 80% of cases have been mild.
2) Stock up on household cleaning supplies. Products like Bleach wipes or alcohol kills it. Even soap and water will do the trick! If you have someone sick at home or in your community, plan on cleaning surfaces that get touched frequently several times a day. Cleaning products significantly reduce the amount of virus that is on a hard surface.
3) Communicate with your work about your ability to telecommute from home if Corona starts spreading locally.
4) Make a plan for your kids and older relatives. Consider what you would do if your family's daycare center or school close because of an outbreak. Do you have a backup plan? It would be wise to reach out to friends, relatives, neighbors now that may be able to help in this kind of situation.
5) Start creating healthy habits now to support you and your family’s health. Wash your hands when you come home, use hand sanitizer as needed, cough into your elbow, and promptly dispose of old tissues. Remember to wash your hands long enough! A proper hand washing is at least 20 seconds.
We are all connected. When there is a collective stress response, it's common to feel it in your nervous system as heightened stress or anxiety.
I created the Dragontree Anxiety Relief for support during stressful and anxious times.
The Anxiety-Relief formula contains a variety of western and Chinese herbs. Three herbs, of many, are Bai He, which clears the heart and calms the spirit. Chai Hu, which harmonizes the interior and exterior and resolves depression. Also, Dan Shen, which relieves pain, clears the heart and eliminates vexation.
Get Anxiety-Relief
I also highly recommend reading the “A Guide: How to Prepare Your Home for Coronavirus” article by NPR for more in-depth info! Share it with your friends and family so they can prepare adequately as well.
Allowing ourselves to be at peace in adversity provides that best opportunity to be present to real solutions. Internal peace is always an option, no matter what turbulence we face.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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What do you like about your anxiety?
This is a question I’ve asked many of my patients. Unsurprisingly, almost everyone’s initial response is “nothing.” But over time (especially in people who are determined to get the most out of their unpleasant experiences) I’ve seen anxiety become a gift that re-orients people in a profound way.
I’ve learned many strategies for managing anxiety directly, some of which I shared in my
last article. They can really help. However, my greatest intention isn’t merely that we can effectively manage anxiety when it arises, but that our basic orientation is to be attuned to what’s good, what’s working, and what we
love about life.
So this time I’m going to share self-care practices to guide you back to the love beneath that fear.
It’s true that fear isn’t usually a
healthy expression of love, but sometimes it is – like when love spurs fear in a parent and they rush into harm’s way to save a child. Most of the time we’re afraid, though, the underlying love is so contorted by the mind that it doesn’t feel like love at all. It just feels nasty and horrible, and we get into a vicious circle whereby the feeling prompts fearful thoughts and the thoughts heighten the feelings, and so on.
But deeper than all of that craziness, we love life, we love ourselves, and we love others. I would like to invite you this week to bring your anxious feelings back to the loving point of their origin.
1) Practice good posture. Having a straight spine automatically helps you to breathe more fully. It also has a subtle effect on your mood. It’s easier to feel threatened, weak, or like a victim when you’re slouching; conversely, when you sit or stand tall, with a straight spine, you’ll naturally feel clearer and more confident.
2) State the facts (in the morning and always). What you do in the morning affects your whole day, so start with a brief and enthusiastic session of truth telling. What is good right now? Are you alive? Are you breathing? Did the sun rise again? Do you have enough to eat? Say it.
Who do you choose to be today? A light-hearted person? A truth-telling person? An emissary of love in the world? A devoted servant to the highest good of the world? Say it.
Pausing, noticing, and stating the facts about what’s good in your life is like hitting the save button. It programs your mind to continue to spot the good stuff. It reconfigures you for peace.
And stating the facts during fearful times is like becoming a warrior with a razor sharp sword. With your loving fierceness, you cut through the collective illusions and emotional fog, reminding yourself and others,
We didn’t jump into the world just so we could cower from life. The truth is bigger (and better) than the story we’re telling each other.
3) Get connected to the elements. Spend time in nature, ideally including some direct contact of skin to earth and natural bodies of water. Some people with anxiety also report that they feel much better with sun exposure. Others feel a benefit from sitting in front of a fire or even several candles. Besides helping to realign you with the rhythm of the natural world, it’s also a nice break from your electronic devices and media.
4) Establish a daily routine and stick to it. Predictability helps stabilize a wayward mind and helps the body get into a consistent rhythm. This means setting a regular bedtime and wake time, having meals at the same time each day, exercising on a regular basis at the same time, meditating at the same time, bathing at the same time, etc. Of course, your routine shouldn’t be strict in a way that generates stress if you stray from it – it’s something you do out of kindness for yourself.
5) Love actively. There’s no use in trying to obliterate fear. That would be like trying to destroy the sound of ‘middle C’ on a piano. Fear is a frequency of energy. No matter how you train yourself to cut it out of your life, you can always call it up again. Instead, focus on the love beneath.
What do you
love that your mind tells you is threatened? Give your attention to loving what you love instead. Love is so much stronger and bigger than fear, and unlike fear, love is a unifying and creative force. If you’re out of practice, find the things that are easiest to love, like kittens and donuts, and feel the love opening your heart. Then practice expanding that love to envelop yourself, your neighbor, your houseplants . . . and your fear. Then go bigger.
All along, keep opening your heart. Just imagine it opening like a golden ring in the center of your chest. Learn to feel when it closes, and patiently open it again and again and again.
Love will prevail. Always.
Dr. Peter Borten
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Do you Sir know of a book called 10 Reasons Too Take Care of Myself? I cannot remember whom the Author is. The Book was published in the 1990s.