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[post_content] => by Dr. Peter Borten
Every year we collect more and more stories from people who have used the Dreambook to achieve clarity about what kind of life they want to create and then made it a reality. Maybe because of the craziness of 2020, there’s been a big surge of interest in the book this year, so I decided to share a little about what makes it special.
In a time of such uncertainty, many of us tend to abandon long-term and even medium-term plans, just focusing instead on getting through each day. Unfortunately, this isn’t really the same as living in the present moment, and that’s where the richness of life dwells. If there were ever a time to live for the present, it’s now.
While the Dreambook is designed to help people with 1-year, 3-year, 10-year, and lifetime goals, our overarching intention is to help people enrich the journey rather than the destination. The journey is always happening, so it needs to be as full of the good stuff as we imagine the destination will be.
Thich Nhat Hanh’s discussion on washing the dishes is one of the most quoted passages on the topic of mindfulness, but I could hear it and share it a million times: “There are two ways to wash the dishes. The first is to wash the dishes in order to have clean dishes and the second is to wash the dishes in order to wash the dishes. . . . If while washing the dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as if they were a nuisance, then we are not ‘washing the dishes to wash the dishes.’ What’s more, we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes.”
The consequences of mindlessly washing the dishes may be minor, but what about the consequences of mindlessly eating, mindlessly doing our job, mindlessly playing with our kids, or mindlessly conversing with our partner? A life without our presence – because we’re just trying to get through it – is devoid of the magic, connection, and grace that make it worth living.
There are a number of ways to change this outcome-focused orientation. One of the most potent, which we share in the Dreambook, is identifying your life purpose.
When you have a purpose, you’re conscious that you’re serving a bigger function than meeting your own needs. When you’re “on purpose,” energy arises to support your work. Opportunities appear everywhere. And, most importantly, you spend more of your life right here, right now, alive and clear.
Various methods exist for determining your life purpose, but when it comes down to it, it’s a matter of intuiting what you’re meant to do, feeling it out, and choosing to pursue it. It’s okay if you later decide to modify that choice.
We have a more involved process in the Dreambook, but for today let’s see what comes to you with just a few minutes of contemplation. Grab a pen and paper and write a few sentences in response to these questions:
What times and places in your life have you felt you were making a meaningful contribution?
What inspires you?
What would people say your strengths are?
When/how do you feel called to serve humankind or the planet?
What are your highest values (e.g., kindness, generosity, honesty, service, integrity, beauty, etc.)?
Based on these responses, craft a statement that conveys how you intend to serve the world. Here are some examples:
- My purpose is to help people heal through creative expression.
- My life purpose is to build healthy communities.
- My purpose is to help people use their voices and awaken their power.
- My purpose is to facilitate playfulness in adults.
- My purpose is to teach people how to live in harmony with the environment.
- My purpose is to help people actualize their potential.
Don’t worry about getting the statement perfect on the first round. For now, choose a statement of life purpose and read it out loud and with intention. How does that feel? Ideally, making this statement should feel powerful and right, or as my friend Reuvain puts it, it should feel like a “Hell yeah!”. It might even give you goosebumps or tingles. If it feels a bit intimidating, that’s ok, too, as long as it also feels true.
If it doesn’t feel like a “hell yeah!” change some of the wording. Consider making it less specific. For instance, if a statement such as, “My purpose is to help children to become healthy adults by learning to process their emotions” doesn't feel as inspiring as you hoped, you could start by broadening it to something like, “My purpose is to help children process their emotions,” or even just, “My purpose is to help children.” Just get it as accurate as you can manage and then write it down. I recommend writing it in a special way on a nice piece of paper. Put it somewhere where you’ll see it and say it every morning.
More importantly, try to keep it in mind throughout your day, applying it as often as you can. Use the Dreambook to integrate it into your weekly planning process and your goals. You can also use the Habit Tracking function to help you remember and assess your progress.
What changes when you’re on purpose? Is it easier to make decisions? Do people respond differently to you? Is there more energy available? Consciously living your purpose is the only way to know if it’s right. As you live your purpose, you’ll get insights that will help you refine your purpose statement. I’d love to hear about your experience with this process.
Be well,
Peter
P.S. My life purpose to love, heal, and awaken myself and the world. I hope I’ve served that purpose today!
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If we hear a saying enough – especially at an impressionable time and/or spoken by someone we respect – we may accept it without applying critical thinking to determine if it’s actually true. For me, one such saying was, “People don’t change.”
As a young adult I heard it said by a guy I looked up to, and I remember thinking he must be wise. He stated it with triumph and bitterness – as a keen insight that would allow him to never be hurt again.
In writing this article, I googled “people don’t change” and “people can’t change” and got about 4 million hits for each phrase. Clearly this is a prevalent idea. But is it true?
When psychologists Dan Gilbert, Jordi Quoidbach, and Timothy Wilson set out to investigate perceptions of personal change, they discovered something surprising: most people believe that they have gotten all of their changing over with. Interviews with 19,000 participants revealed that young people, middle aged people, and old people all saw themselves as having changed a lot in the past, but believed they had more or less “arrived” at who they would be from now on. The scientists called this the “end of history illusion.” They used the word “illusion” because . . . we’re almost always wrong.
Perhaps this widespread view of ourselves as unlikely to change spills over onto what we expect of others – i.e., that they won’t change either. But we might ask, when someone believes that people don’t change, did it originate as a rational assessment of the likelihood of change? Or did it begin as a way of saving face, as in, “It may look like I got blindsided, but I actually saw this coming – because people don’t change.” Or as ammo for self-punishment, as in, “I’m a fool. I should have seen this coming – because people don’t change.” Or as the basis for blaming others for our pain, as in, “I was relying on you to become different so that I could be happy, but I’m not happy – because people don’t change.”
I happen to be in the business of tracking change. A few folks come to me for health maintenance, but I like to empower people to do most of their maintenance themselves, so the majority of my patient visits are from humans wanting the same thing: change. They want their body to change or their mind to change or their life circumstances to change. Because my task is to help facilitate this change, a significant part of my job is to be a change tracker. As a change tracker, I can assure you, people change all the time, often dramatically. If they didn’t, I’d feel like a charlatan.
But of course, we all have recurring patterns. In Vedic philosophy, these are considered to be expressions of our samskaras – the imprints of past experiences. Samskara literally means “impression” – like a footprint in the sand or a groove cut in the earth – and we tend to fall into them over and over, just as water naturally follows ruts in the land. Likewise, as experiences “flow” through our consciousness, they are manipulated by these contours of our psyche. Our capacity for discernment, called the buddhi, is said to be impaired by the presence of samskaras because they cause us to see things differently than they really are.
Scientists in the field of psychoneuroimmunology discovered that there’s a biological basis for this behavior. The repetition of the same thoughts, feelings, or behaviors strengthens a particular neurological pathway. These neurons “wire together” making a more efficient channel for nerve impulses to flow through, much like a groove in the sand. This increases the likelihood of our continuing to repeat the thought / feeling / behavior and thus to further strengthen the pathway and increase the potential to revisit it.
What can we do about this? There are many useful strategies, most of which amount to the cultivation of clear vision and perspective. Traditionally, this is one of the central purposes of yoga – meditation, specifically – which is said to be like polishing the dirty mirror of the buddhi so that it provides accurate reflections.
Meditation is like walking to the top of a mountain, where we can see the big picture (something impossible to do when we’re stuck in a rut in the ground). Here we can determine our most efficient course of action. Here we see the grooves of samskaras and “fill them in” through forgiveness, love, and acceptance. Here we can see the ways we have changed, and, indeed, see that big change is inevitable for ourselves and everyone else.
Take a few minutes today for a mental fast. Close your eyes and allow yourself to rise above the chattering and judgements, the push and pull of emotions, and perceive what kind of change would bring you into closer alignment with your inner being. Then set an intention to allow this change to happen. Perhaps even ask your highest self to reconfigure you to experience peace more readily. A change is gonna come.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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"The Earth element is the feeling of the fruits of our labors being harvested and getting to enjoy them and feel a sense of abundance."
I encourage you not to skip this step. How will you be there to celebrate your harvest?
[post_title] => Talking Wellness with Peter: The Earth Element
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Every year we collect more and more stories from people who have used the Dreambook to achieve clarity about what kind of life they want to create and then made it a reality. Maybe because of the craziness of 2020, there’s been a big surge of interest in the book this year, so I decided to share a little about what makes it special.
In a time of such uncertainty, many of us tend to abandon long-term and even medium-term plans, just focusing instead on getting through each day. Unfortunately, this isn’t really the same as living in the present moment, and that’s where the richness of life dwells. If there were ever a time to live for the present, it’s now.
While the Dreambook is designed to help people with 1-year, 3-year, 10-year, and lifetime goals, our overarching intention is to help people enrich the journey rather than the destination. The journey is always happening, so it needs to be as full of the good stuff as we imagine the destination will be.
Thich Nhat Hanh’s discussion on washing the dishes is one of the most quoted passages on the topic of mindfulness, but I could hear it and share it a million times: “There are two ways to wash the dishes. The first is to wash the dishes in order to have clean dishes and the second is to wash the dishes in order to wash the dishes. . . . If while washing the dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as if they were a nuisance, then we are not ‘washing the dishes to wash the dishes.’ What’s more, we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes.”
The consequences of mindlessly washing the dishes may be minor, but what about the consequences of mindlessly eating, mindlessly doing our job, mindlessly playing with our kids, or mindlessly conversing with our partner? A life without our presence – because we’re just trying to get through it – is devoid of the magic, connection, and grace that make it worth living.
There are a number of ways to change this outcome-focused orientation. One of the most potent, which we share in the Dreambook, is identifying your life purpose.
When you have a purpose, you’re conscious that you’re serving a bigger function than meeting your own needs. When you’re “on purpose,” energy arises to support your work. Opportunities appear everywhere. And, most importantly, you spend more of your life right here, right now, alive and clear.
Various methods exist for determining your life purpose, but when it comes down to it, it’s a matter of intuiting what you’re meant to do, feeling it out, and choosing to pursue it. It’s okay if you later decide to modify that choice.
We have a more involved process in the Dreambook, but for today let’s see what comes to you with just a few minutes of contemplation. Grab a pen and paper and write a few sentences in response to these questions:
What times and places in your life have you felt you were making a meaningful contribution?
What inspires you?
What would people say your strengths are?
When/how do you feel called to serve humankind or the planet?
What are your highest values (e.g., kindness, generosity, honesty, service, integrity, beauty, etc.)?
Based on these responses, craft a statement that conveys how you intend to serve the world. Here are some examples:
- My purpose is to help people heal through creative expression.
- My life purpose is to build healthy communities.
- My purpose is to help people use their voices and awaken their power.
- My purpose is to facilitate playfulness in adults.
- My purpose is to teach people how to live in harmony with the environment.
- My purpose is to help people actualize their potential.
Don’t worry about getting the statement perfect on the first round. For now, choose a statement of life purpose and read it out loud and with intention. How does that feel? Ideally, making this statement should feel powerful and right, or as my friend Reuvain puts it, it should feel like a “Hell yeah!”. It might even give you goosebumps or tingles. If it feels a bit intimidating, that’s ok, too, as long as it also feels true.
If it doesn’t feel like a “hell yeah!” change some of the wording. Consider making it less specific. For instance, if a statement such as, “My purpose is to help children to become healthy adults by learning to process their emotions” doesn't feel as inspiring as you hoped, you could start by broadening it to something like, “My purpose is to help children process their emotions,” or even just, “My purpose is to help children.” Just get it as accurate as you can manage and then write it down. I recommend writing it in a special way on a nice piece of paper. Put it somewhere where you’ll see it and say it every morning.
More importantly, try to keep it in mind throughout your day, applying it as often as you can. Use the Dreambook to integrate it into your weekly planning process and your goals. You can also use the Habit Tracking function to help you remember and assess your progress.
What changes when you’re on purpose? Is it easier to make decisions? Do people respond differently to you? Is there more energy available? Consciously living your purpose is the only way to know if it’s right. As you live your purpose, you’ll get insights that will help you refine your purpose statement. I’d love to hear about your experience with this process.
Be well,
Peter
P.S. My life purpose to love, heal, and awaken myself and the world. I hope I’ve served that purpose today!
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awesome info! thank you and I look forward to learning Ingram more of the TCM body clock
sorry, it was an email I received from the Dragontree.com
You’re welcome, Maria! More soon.
Be well,
Peter
What? Aww hell no! You didn’t just leave us hanging???
Ha! Sorry Teresa, but since these three time slots were all about good digestion, I didn’t want to feed you more information than you could digest at once!
Very interesting. Thank you! I look forward to learning more about the time periods that follow. Especially interested in which timing seems to fit nicely with exercise since it appears to be discouraged in the morning. Thanks again!
You’re welcome, Charlene. In my opinion, mid-day is ideal for intense exercise, though mild exercise can be done any time of day.
This is my first opportunity to be exposed to this teaching even though I have practiced yoga for several years. Thank you so so much for bring this topic up for us newbies to Dragontree. The timing for me is much appreciated!
Thanks again!
You’re welcome, Leila. I’m glad you found it interesting!
Awesome info! This really gives support to my natural schedule, I accept the responsibility now with full knowledge!
Thank you,
Hi Margie. It’s great when you naturally happen upon what’s ideal for you. Be well.
Thank you for this piece. I found it both interesting and helpful and am looking forward to future installments. 🙂
You’re welcome, Molly. Thanks for your feedback.
Very interesting, thank you Dr Borten:
I am most interested in your thoughts about how this data relates to myself who
a) had bariatric (sleeve) surgery on Dec 1, 2015 and
b) currently works a night shift (10p-6a) five or six nights a week.
Lately I
a) have nothing (much) to eat during my shift
b) get home around 6:30am, have my first meal around 7am (with meds)
c) do a second light meal around 1pm and
d) eat yogurt with meds around 6pm and
e) go off to work around 9:30 pm.
mike rodgers
Grove City, PA
Hi Mike,
Working a graveyard shift is hard on your system. I’m sorry to say, there are so many factors that are less than ideal, from insufficient, interrupted sleep, to light exposure at night and disruption of production of the sleep hormone melatonin, etc. The best advice I could give would be to get on a daytime shift and sleep at night.
Assuming that’s not possible, I would recommend that you experiment with reversing your day completely, eating all your meals at night, and then when you get home, retreating into a room with blackout curtains and remaining in total darkness for 8 hours, whether you’re awake or asleep. We all need a dark cycle. Even though you won’t be abiding by the actual times prescribed in Chinese Medicine, you’ll at least have a routine that sort of approximates that, when you eat when you’re active and in the light.
Good luck,
Peter
Thank you. I’m looking forward to your posts.
You’re welcome, Nadia
Really interesting. I will think on this
Thanks, hope it’s helpful for you.
Thanks for this Dr Peter! This information comes at a good time for me and my life!
You’re welcome, aQui. Hope this framework works with your training schedule.
Thank you for this!! And the guidebook!
You’re welcome, Candace. I’m glad you like it.
Excellent discussion of the Chinese clock
Thank you, Kay.
Awesome. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you. And you’re welcome!
I found this article cathartic. I stopped eating breakfast around age 10. My mother was not a nurturer, and I was always, from a very young age (my earliest memory of fixing my own breakfast is 3), expected to take care of myself. The catharsis is recognizing that I have not allowed myself to be “mothered” for a great portion of my life, and perhaps even not felt deserving of nurturing. I am in my mid fifties now, and without going into great detail on a public post, I experienced some trauma around the time I stopped eating breakfast. I pushed that experience so far and deep down inside myself, that even to this day I feel ill, and quite nauseous if I eat breakfast. Now that I have made this mental/physical/emotional connection regarding breakfast and my stomach, I think I will try to reintroduce a regular breakfast in to my life. A cup of broth might be a good start. Namaste.
Hi Colby,
Thanks for your willingness to really go deep with this material. I think you’re spot on with regard to the connections you’ve unearthed and I hope this is the beginning of a major healing.
take care,
Peter
I think you have universal ESP. I am experiencing exclusion at work and discrimination and just work behavior I have never experienced in 31 years at my company. I am feeling truly heart sick over it. Your post on the 7-9 PM time was especially timely on Valentines Day! I am trying to accept it and move to understanding; but I am stuck. I am over rotating on and allowing a couple people I have never even been aware of before to permeate and control all of me. I wake up 2-3 times a night and it is my first thoughts. It dominates all thoughts and my conversations with my spouse. I need your posts in order to get well again before I get sick again. Thank you.
Hi Toni,
Sorry to hear you’re experiencing this – but I’m glad these posts have been helpful. It sounds like you’re in tune with what’s going on inside you and that’s a good thing. Just don’t let those feelings RUN you. See if you can get in touch with what comes up in your body while you focus on the work drama and then just allow those feelings without resisting them, allowing them completely, even inviting them to be felt with your whole self, breathing deeply into the feeling and letting go on your exhale.
Be well,
Peter
I know this may be a stupid question but, are these times relevant to the current time we live in? Whether it’s Pacific or Eastern time? Or daylight saving time?
I love your writing!
Hi Barb,
It’s not a stupid question. It’s one that comes up a lot and that there’s no perfect answer to. My guess is that the clock is somewhat organic in terms of the actual times and that they orient relative to whatever time is actual noon where you live – i.e., when the sun is directly overhead. So, if you live toward the eastern edge of a time zone, true noon is probably later than 12:00 PM, and we could probably assume that all the organ times shift a bit later. If you live near the western edge of a time zone, true noon is probably earlier than 12:00 PM and therefore, the organ times may actually occur a bit earlier than the specific times they’re ascribed. During Daylight Savings, we’re calling it an hour than it “actually” is – so the different organ times might also occur earlier than what the clock says. I know it’s tricky. I say just choose what you’re going to observe and go with it. However, the best determinant of all would be to get really in tune with yoru body and *feel* when these organs are dominant. Even if you could perceive just one time slot (based on, say, your large intestine’s tendency to be active in the early morning), you would then know how the rest of the time slots should shift one way or the other.
Be well,
Peter
Hi. I found this article by googling words related to the question asked on 3/30/17. I keep waking up at around 2:10/2:20am lately and this is interesting because I remember a few years ago I used to wake up at precisely 3:14am most nights for months and then it happened less often but still was a consistent time of sudden waking up. I am not sure what season it was during those 3am or so wake ups but it is currently daylight savings time here in NY and now I often wake up suddenly roughly one hour earlier. I am interested to hear (read) your thoughts on this.
Your website seems to be rife with valuable and interesting information and I am happy to have come across it (at 2:30am ha ha).