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As a young adult living in Western Massachusetts, I had a handful of friends who attended Hampshire College. Hampshire is well known for being highly unconventional. There are no majors, no departments, and no grades. So much of the program is up to the student, including a final yearlong project. I could see why it was appealing, especially to people who didn’t seem to fit into typical academic institutions.
When I first heard these friends talk of the wonderfully freeform nature of their college experience, I was envious. In later years, as they found it increasingly challenging to keep themselves on course, I remember saying, “That kind of program wouldn’t work for me.” I realized, with no shame at all, that I needed way (way) more hand-holding. Only one of my Hampshire friends graduated. I guess they needed more hand-holding too.
There are a number of reasons we avoid getting help or taking direction:
- We’re too proud to admit we need help.
- We’re afraid of opening up, being vulnerable, or appearing weak.
- We think nobody is capable of helping us.
- We don’t want to be controlled or guided in a way we don’t like.
- We don’t want to be told what to do.
- We don’t want to be a burden.
- We don’t want to share the credit.
- We feel it’s less of an accomplishment if we get help.
- We believe we need to do things all by ourselves.
This last one is a common inherited belief, though nearly every impressive historical figure had a team of supporters. Yes, there’s a grain of truth to it: each of us is responsible for ourselves, our choices and actions. Each of us is responsible for how we show up in the world. Nobody can do the internal work for us. But it’s perfectly okay to get tons of help along the way. It doesn’t diminish the outcome. In fact, we connect and improve through the process when we let others in. This is true even when it comes to healing and spirituality. It’s time to let go of the “Lone Ranger complex.”
Guidance and mutual support are an important part of why our program, Sacred Expansion, has been so successful. We created Sacred Expansion as a prerequisite for our life coaching trainees, as we feel it’s important to “clean house” before guiding others. It was designed to help people get to know themselves more deeply, release old unhealthy patterns, and open to a state of greater intuition and trust – all within a group of others on the same journey.
It turned out to be so monumental for our early participants that we decided to make Sacred Expansion available as a stand-alone course. Enrollment is happening NOW! You’ll be lovingly led by my wife, Briana, through an exploration of yourself through the metaphors of the seasons. And you’ll come out of it with greater clarity and self-awareness, less baggage, a deeper connection to Spirit, and the tools to continue the process on your own. I encourage you to do it!
Also, I recommend you look back at that list of reasons we avoid getting help and see if there are any that ring a bell for you. If so, consider the following questions. Is this belief true? (E.g., Is it true that nobody could help me? Is it true that if I asked for help, it would compromise me in some critical way? Is it true that it’s less of an accomplishment if I get help?) And then meditate on what life might be like if you felt completely at ease and unembarrassed about asking for help and graciously receiving it?
Be well,
Peter
P.S. Early Bird pricing for Sacred Expansion is currently in progress. Sign up today and save $200! On August 17th, the price goes up, so if you want to join us, don't miss this opportunity!
Click here to enroll today!
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As the parents of a teenager, we often find ourselves in a series of conversations called, “When am I Going to Use This in Real Life?” Popular episodes include, “When Am I Going to Use Calculus in Real Life?” and “When am I Going to Use Shakespeare in Real Life?”
Between trying to find ways to motivate our kid to stick with the subjects they don’t care about, we’ve given a lot of thought to what really IS important to learn for “real life,” and we believe that near the top of the list are the skills of goal-setting, planning, and follow-through. Sadly, these subjects won’t be covered (directly) in our kid’s high school and they probably weren’t at yours either.
As a result, many of us just stumble upon methods that work reasonably well, and we may start to relate to life as something to be maintained rather than our ongoing creation with infinite opportunities for improvement. The second perspective is not only more gratifying, it’s also a lot more fun.
We want to help you get the training you never received.
If your goals always get pushed to the bottom of your to-do list…
If you doubt your ability to follow through…
If you feel more daunted than excited by your big dreams…
If you procrastinate the changes that will make your life better…
If you know you have more potential than this, but don’t know how to start actualizing it…
Don't give up! You just need to be shown HOW.
That’s what we’ll do for you in our 9 week course, Dreaming and Planning.
We’ll guide you through all the steps for making goals, breaking them down into manageable pieces, and achieving them, step-by-step.
In this course you will actually set and attain a goal that you choose, so you’ll have the experiential instruction of moving through this process to completion (with plenty of hand-holding).
Your confidence will grow.
You’ll build personal integrity.
You’ll start to trust yourself.
Your nervous system will calm down.
You’ll feel less overwhelmed.
The potential everyone always saw in you will finally have a powerful outlet.
It’s life changing!
We can do this together.
Check it out below.
Be well,
Peter and Briana
[post_title] => Truly Useful Real-Life Skills
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What makes a town or city appealing to you? The architecture? The landscape? The climate? The people? The cuisine? I love traveling and I’ve given a lot of thought to why some places feel so attractive to me and others don’t. My favorite towns have all these ingredients plus another: they’re full of small businesses.
Strolling the winding streets of Madrid, Pearl Street in Boulder, Hawthorne in Portland, Le Plateau in Montreal, and the downtowns of virtually all cool cities and towns, you’ll pass locally owned flower shops, unique restaurants, art galleries, and, of course, spas like The Dragontree. 😉
You could blindfold me and teleport me to downtown Missoula, Northampton, San Francisco, Marblehead, or Port Townsend. I’d know immediately where I was (and I’d ask to stay for a while). Drop me in a sea of Target, Walmart, Starbucks, Best Buy and giant parking lots, and I could be anywhere (but nowhere I’d want to live). Any sense of home or connection is greatly diminished when a region’s commerce is dominated by giant chains.
Small businesses make towns special. They give a community character and make the patron feel connected to the proprietor. They’re also important avenues for other small businesses – like artists, hair stylists, bakers – to do their craft and get compensated well for it.
So if you want to help preserve the specialness of a place, if you want your downtown to stay cool and vibrant, patronize its small businesses! Let’s all make a deal to do all our holiday shopping at small businesses this year! It’s a gift not just to the recipient but also to the small business owner and employees and the community it resides in.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Think Small This Holiday Season
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As a young adult living in Western Massachusetts, I had a handful of friends who attended Hampshire College. Hampshire is well known for being highly unconventional. There are no majors, no departments, and no grades. So much of the program is up to the student, including a final yearlong project. I could see why it was appealing, especially to people who didn’t seem to fit into typical academic institutions.
When I first heard these friends talk of the wonderfully freeform nature of their college experience, I was envious. In later years, as they found it increasingly challenging to keep themselves on course, I remember saying, “That kind of program wouldn’t work for me.” I realized, with no shame at all, that I needed way (way) more hand-holding. Only one of my Hampshire friends graduated. I guess they needed more hand-holding too.
There are a number of reasons we avoid getting help or taking direction:
- We’re too proud to admit we need help.
- We’re afraid of opening up, being vulnerable, or appearing weak.
- We think nobody is capable of helping us.
- We don’t want to be controlled or guided in a way we don’t like.
- We don’t want to be told what to do.
- We don’t want to be a burden.
- We don’t want to share the credit.
- We feel it’s less of an accomplishment if we get help.
- We believe we need to do things all by ourselves.
This last one is a common inherited belief, though nearly every impressive historical figure had a team of supporters. Yes, there’s a grain of truth to it: each of us is responsible for ourselves, our choices and actions. Each of us is responsible for how we show up in the world. Nobody can do the internal work for us. But it’s perfectly okay to get tons of help along the way. It doesn’t diminish the outcome. In fact, we connect and improve through the process when we let others in. This is true even when it comes to healing and spirituality. It’s time to let go of the “Lone Ranger complex.”
Guidance and mutual support are an important part of why our program, Sacred Expansion, has been so successful. We created Sacred Expansion as a prerequisite for our life coaching trainees, as we feel it’s important to “clean house” before guiding others. It was designed to help people get to know themselves more deeply, release old unhealthy patterns, and open to a state of greater intuition and trust – all within a group of others on the same journey.
It turned out to be so monumental for our early participants that we decided to make Sacred Expansion available as a stand-alone course. Enrollment is happening NOW! You’ll be lovingly led by my wife, Briana, through an exploration of yourself through the metaphors of the seasons. And you’ll come out of it with greater clarity and self-awareness, less baggage, a deeper connection to Spirit, and the tools to continue the process on your own. I encourage you to do it!
Also, I recommend you look back at that list of reasons we avoid getting help and see if there are any that ring a bell for you. If so, consider the following questions. Is this belief true? (E.g., Is it true that nobody could help me? Is it true that if I asked for help, it would compromise me in some critical way? Is it true that it’s less of an accomplishment if I get help?) And then meditate on what life might be like if you felt completely at ease and unembarrassed about asking for help and graciously receiving it?
Be well,
Peter
P.S. Early Bird pricing for Sacred Expansion is currently in progress. Sign up today and save $200! On August 17th, the price goes up, so if you want to join us, don't miss this opportunity!
Click here to enroll today!
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thank you this is awesome!
Beautifully said!!
Thank you!!
Beautiful…I truly believe I wouldnt be where I am today without my challenges.
I am currently going through an extremely difficult time with recent diagnosis of my Mother’s stage 4 cancer. This will not resolve itself until she goes through it and will eventually end in her passing. I am working to stay present through this and I know there will be times when this will be my greatest life challenge. Yet somewhere in me I also know it will be my greatest life lesson, and although she doesn’t realize it, her greatest gift to me. I don’t even think I know how difficult this will actually be. I can only hold space for her, my family and myself. I do have a certain curiosity as to how this will all unfold. Right now I am keeping faith and trust that even this is for the highest good. Now to see if I can maintain that.
Karen, May blessings of the world hold & carry you and yours immediately and through this most difficult time. There is honor in your presence…thank you for such.
Karen, I feel for you as, I myself had a Mother that had a Diagnosis with Stage 4 Ovarian & Bladder Cancer. The sad thing is I lost her on November 19, 2017. She was a Rock for me, one of my bestest friends and I could count on her to always be there for me and my family( she was a gift for me). So, I had a hard time, but with signs from a higher power and faith… I have healed! See, My daughter, her granddaughter was pregnant with my Grandson. He was due to be born when she passed. But, because I know in my heart and she told me, she wouldn’t be to first to hold him, that he wasn’t born until Dec 19th one month. She held in Heaven, and kissed him! As, when he was born placed on his for head was a beautiful birthmark. He is now one of my most precious gifts and I will always have a reminder that she loved us very much and is watching over us because of he kiss.
Karen, your love and care formyour mother is wonderful. I am a cancer survivor, and have always felt the process was far more difficult for my daughters than for me. Let the specialists take care of her body while you take care and enjoy her spirit. Blessings to you.
I discovered when being open and sharing a certain struggle with others and thus admitting my vulnerability, they felt free to share their vulnerability. For some, they shared something that they had not shared with anyone else. We are in this together!
I love you MORE each time you teach, Briana!
I know my heart and I drink, with gratitude, every opportunity I am able from Dragontree.
This a.m., I see with more clarity! Women are key “vessels” to feeding and watering the next generation’s, roots. My heart is vested in the next generation. Having ample “watering from a mother’s vessel” allows the world’s children exponential ability to create a “more peaceful world”. I newly see the more vessels I can teach to “hold water”, the more feeding of those, next, generation roots can be done. This “came” to my mind watching you just now; I learned deeply, with profound emotion and am grateful.
I will stop skirting my soul lessons! No wonder the “silver lining” process you discussed was not working and actually causing “stagnation” for me! I am going to dig in and explore the beautiful (ok…awful, under appreciated) MUD!!
Might I share a personal “mud” analogy?
Last week, I purchased a very wicked looking shovel with five, yes, FIVE very sharp points. Though time was short and I was to be headed to a workshop I immediately drove home. Upon arrival I was really “wanting” to feel if this tool was going to work the way I hoped; so I immediately left my car, new purchase in hand, and dug roughly five holes. Becoming enthused about the shovel’s abilities proved to be my wisest choice. I couldn’t wait to get back to using this tool.
The next opportunity to explore the shovel capabilities was a day later, in the drizzling rain. Yes, residing in Beaverton, Oregon…one doesn’t wait for sunshine in April. I “joyfully dug” (normally an oxymoron) in one of my gardens for over two hours. The shovel penetrated deeply, with ease, pulling fourteen inch roots from the ground. I was learning that a very difficult task (digging) could become a true joy…clearly seeing and experiencing the mud. The blue color of garden shoes was covered with INCHES of mud. My pants and raincoat smeared brown.
The area I worked was now ready to nurture a garden; I saw wormy, healthy, mud. My huge, 60 gallon, yard debris garbage can over half-filled with ROOTED young, prickly, thistle. I’d set aside a huge pile of dandelion-&-roots to enjoy exploring via making cookies and teas.
As a result, when you taught “mud” my soul was prepared to hear and WANTING to go to work IN and not skirt around that difficult, challenging patch of land which I had fought so hard to “skirt” believing, too many years, that I did not have the ABILITY to conquer.
I had paid others to weed and feed this garden area for many years, clearing the land and always adding good soil. Working the mud myself I see they didn’t have a vested interest in digging the roots. The ground appeared clear yet the voracious weed roots grew more tenacious.
I understood, from DT teachings, “stagnation/disease ” but I didn’t understand the requirement to face “digging in the mud”.
Always been most grateful for the ability to use my rose-colored-glasses that seem to self-paint, stagnant, silver linings…
Yet the sharply needled, painful, thistle were underground gaining size and deeply rooted strength, expanding and sucking all the water from the soil, resulting in ever worsening environment.
Your glowing spirit beautifully emanated the light today that I needed to understand. So grateful to you, Peter and the ACTION you take to implement Dragontree’s world vision.
Some of my mud may be turned to clay…hard as concrete not being disturbed for decades. I want to learn the lessons not merely suffer the “silver skirted” falsely beautiful walk around a garden appearing to be planted with the best organic vegetables but rooted with thistles.
The answer is entering and working IN-the-mud!! Bless you, Beautiful Woman and MOTHER (gentle, loving, teacher to the world).
Thank you for your comment! I have been in a very dark time for several months now since the betrayal and following breakup of what I thought was a lifelong relationship. I find myself now alone at age 65 with no job or home. Always before in my life I too worked superficially in my garden. But during these months, with much help from great teachers such as Brianna, I have been digging out the thistle and uncovering all the hidden obstacles of my past. I am now seeing this change in my life as a beautiful opportunity and am looking forward to the beautiful garden the remainder of my life will become.
There are times to reflect about the dark and tough times. Most important to remember is there is something there to learn. Only you know that on what it is to learn and absolutely one needs to be honest with themselves when doing this. Doing this can be very profound in one’s life and make it possible to become closer to you and who you are or who you strive to be.
This was a good video. “Being in the challenge” and that it is okay is not something I believe we are allowed to do all the time. We’re taught and/or encouraged to “suck it up,” “deal,” and “get over it.” I think that plays into what you mentioned about ways people cope – food, alcohol, and work.