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[post_content] => A mission statement is by definition: a statement of the purpose of a
company,
organization or
person, and its reason for existing. A mission statement should guide the actions of the organization, spell out its overall goal, provide a path, and guide decision-making. It provides “the framework or context within which the company’s strategies are formulated.” It’s like a goal for what the company wants to do for the world.
This last sentence is what truly resonates with me on what a mission statement should be. For the next few months, I’ve decided to dedicate my blog to the breakdown of the Dragontree Mission statement and our core values and what they mean to us.
Let’s start with our first line….”At the Dragontree, we are committed to peace.” The word peace comes from the Latin meaning “freedom from civil disorder”. Taking it out of the concept of government perhaps a better definition is “freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions and the existence of healthy interpersonal relationships.” This type of freedom from disquieting thoughts and emotions is a key element for us as human beings to be healthy physically and emotionally. Perhaps this is why the first line of our mission statement has to do with the concept of peace.
We as caregivers strive to create a peaceful existence for ourselves, which helps us provide treatments and service to our clients, creating space for peace in their lives.
At a personal level, peaceful behaviors are kind, considerate,
respectful, just, and tolerant of others’ beliefs and behaviors — all of this tending to manifest
goodwill.
-Robert G. (The Dragontree NW Spa Director)
[post_title] => The Dragontree Mission Statement (Part 1)
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Last week I wrote about forgiveness as the ultimate psychological cleanse. The emphasis of the article was on forgiving other people, because most of us have plenty of work to do in this area, and it’s pretty easy to identify the resentment we have toward others, whether it’s our parents, ex-lovers, and bosses, or more distant relations, like Dick Cheney and Monsanto. But I believe the massive submerged part of the resentment iceberg is all about ourselves.
In my opinion, whether we’re aware of it or not, we blame ourselves for everything about our life that isn’t the way we think it should be. Like I said, this portion of the iceberg is usually hidden, so I expect many people will disagree with me on this. I didn’t believe it until just a few years ago. Before then, I would have told you, I’m not someone who blames myself when things go wrong.
But through my meditation practice, I gradually discovered a wellspring of self-blame, shame, and guilt within myself. It’s not that these feelings just arose in me; I unearthed them. They’ve been there since childhood. And my sense is that they’re not just my feelings . . . they belong to all of us. The focus of this self-blame is so broad that I believe it’s simply an inevitable product of the way we socialize each other.
Probably, it stems from an early time in our lives when the people around us began to teach us about the world. There were so many words, labels, and behaviors to learn, and the goal of every lesson was to be right. When we named the color, or peed in the right place, or ate all our food, we did it right and got the reward of praise, love, and approval. And when we drew on the wall, or hit someone, or had the wrong answer, we didn’t get this reward. Maybe we even got disapproval or anger.
And since most of this positive and negative feedback came from our parents – the people responsible for our very survival – we naturally made being right one of our highest priorities. We became experts at being – or at least, appearing – right. Two important secondary behaviors developed from this training. First, we taught our subconscious to habitually identify wrong things – in us and in others – because it’s at least as important to know what’s wrong, and to avoid being wrong, as it is to be right. Second, we learned to internally preside over the judgment of our own behavior. By policing ourselves, scolding ourselves, and withholding approval from ourselves, we could get better at presenting only rightnessto the world.
As we moved into the school phase of life, this training became more rigorous. Our teachers and peers joined in on the process of critiquing us, and we began to see that certain things about us could be wrong that we never thought about controlling before – like the size of our body, or the color of our skin, or the way our hair looked. And if we were brought up in a sin-based religion, we were likely taught that, despite being “created in God’s image,” we had messed up really bad. All of this served to strengthen our internal critic.
But our self-criticism has been such a constant thing that many of us barely even notice it. Even in psychologically healthy folks, I’d guess that there are dozens of thoughts each day that go something like: “I’m not working fast enough,” “I should be thinner,” “There’s something wrong with me,” “I shouldn’t have said that,” “I should have done that differently,” “I should be better at . . .,” “I should be more accomplished at this age than I am,” “I’m a mediocre parent,” “Why am I so bad at making money?,” “I’m not doing anything impressive,” “I’m not very pretty,” “I screwed up my life,” and more. Self-blame thoughts like these make us less happy, and they cause us to withhold approval from ourselves, even if they don’t seem so bad. Even if we think, “But it’s true.”
Forgiveness – continual forgiveness, where we just let ourselves and the world BE however we are – is the means to liberation. There’s a line I love from A Course in Miracles: “God does not forgive because he has never condemned.” All the condemnation comes from within our own minds, and forgiveness is the ultimate cleanse.
I believe that a big part of our personal evolution is about letting more and more love into our lives. We can all have as much love as we want, but we restrict it from certain areas of our lives because we don't accept them or we think they should be different. So, there are these dark nooks and crannies in our consciousness where we haven't let the love in. The more of those we have, the less light, free, joyful, and spontaneous we feel. They're like sandbags weighing down our hot air balloon. And when we forgive, it's like cutting the strings.
When we start forgiving habitually, not only do we begin to experience a lightness and freedom that for many of us has been absent for decades, but we also begin to recognize just how powerful we are. Even if we’ve been exploring personal development or spirituality for a while, we’ve probably had an outlook that amounts to looking for and appreciating the goodness in each situation. Perhaps we’ve even come to realize that there’s a certain lightness to be found in every circumstance. But when we start living forgiveness, and we shed mountains of blame, a new understanding may emerge: we don’t need to find the goodness in every situation; we bring the goodness to every situation. You are the light of the world, as soon as you choose it.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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There’s a well-known spiritual quote from philosopher and teacher Jiddhu Krishnamurti. The story goes that he was speaking to a group of students (who saw him as an enlightened master), and he whispered, “Do you want to know my secret?” At this, the room fell silent and everyone leaned forward. Then he continued, “I don’t mind what happens.”
What I like about this idea is that it’s simple; it speaks of a state of transcendence of the ego and unshakable peace. But as an expression of absolute spiritual truth, it also lends itself to spiritual bypassing and illusions about spirituality.
The tricky thing about Krishnamurti’s statement is that he was presumably speaking not from his ego but from an expanded state of consciousness, his higher Self. Thus, while not minding what happens was his outlook from this state, it’s not necessarily the path that got him there.
In Krishnamurti’s case, he went through a series of spontaneous, often painful experiences over many years that caused an opening of his consciousness. That’s not something we can replicate at will. So what can we garner from this “secret”?
It’s a good opening to a discussion on how we relate to absolute spiritual truths while existing in a world of relativity. Even among non-dual spiritual traditions (meaning, all the world is considered to be an expression of one great Being, and separation is an illusion), there is often a distinction made between the Source in an absolute sense (which is formless) and the many forms it takes in the relative world.
In the realm of the relative, which is where the majority of human minds dwell, relativity directs nearly every aspect of our lives. For instance, when we say something is good, we’re usually not coming from the experience that the universe is fundamentally Good, and therefore all of its expressions are imbued with that same essence of goodness. What we mean is that things are good relative to some other way they could be. Thus, we’re directed toward things that we perceive as better than our other options and away from things that seem worse. And absolute spiritual truths – like “the universe is fundamentally good” – are simply lofty concepts to most people. We do get glimpses of them though (as I’ve written about in my articles on “gaps” in the dominant egocentric state), and these often fuel a drive for spiritual awakening.
People who have gone through a certain form of spiritual awakening (what’s sometimes referred to as enlightenment, liberation, or moksha) often describe it as an experience of becoming perpetually conscious of the absolute. This doesn’t make the relative disappear, but the awareness of the undying oneness that unifies all apparent differences enables them to play in relativity without the “high stakes” feeling – and the anxiousness and drama that go with it – that most humans experience. This is why it’s referred to as liberation, which can be a very appealing notion to anyone who wants to be happy.
So, apparently from this state, Krishnamurti said, “I don’t mind what happens” because, in an absolute sense, nothing is ever wrong. Nor is there such a thing as tragedy or victory. To win a race just means one part of the Source crossed the finish line before another part of the same Source (or God beat God, if you prefer that name). Likewise, the death of any given expression of the Source is akin to a red blood cell dying and being recycled into a new blood cell; the Whole has lost nothing in the process.
It's important to recognize that an absolute spiritual truth is different from an uplifting life principle or a good piece of advice. If someone told you their “secret” is “Focus on the good” or “Don’t sweat the small stuff” or “Practice gratitude” or “Don’t take anything personally” you could immediately adopt it and start living it. But to a person who hasn’t realized and directly experienced it, an absolute truth isn’t actionable in the same way. And in relative terms, the absolute may make no sense at all.
Imagine that a dog is biting your leg and you think to yourself, “I’m going to be spiritual about this. What did Krishnamurti say? Oh yeah, I don’t mind what happens. I guess I’d better breathe through this. Whew, that’s a lot of blood. Do I just let him keep gnawing? I don’t mind. I don’t mind. I don’t mind. If I call 9-1-1, does that constitute “minding”?” I doubt many people would take an unrealized spiritual truth to this extent, but as you can imagine, it’s possible to get into some trouble this way.
Next week we’ll try to find the usefulness in statements of absolute truth and we’ll talk about what to do if you do mind what happens. Meanwhile, I always love to hear what readers think of these philosophical explorations.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Can We be Misguided by Spiritual Truths?
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[post_content] => A mission statement is by definition: a statement of the purpose of a
company,
organization or
person, and its reason for existing. A mission statement should guide the actions of the organization, spell out its overall goal, provide a path, and guide decision-making. It provides “the framework or context within which the company’s strategies are formulated.” It’s like a goal for what the company wants to do for the world.
This last sentence is what truly resonates with me on what a mission statement should be. For the next few months, I’ve decided to dedicate my blog to the breakdown of the Dragontree Mission statement and our core values and what they mean to us.
Let’s start with our first line….”At the Dragontree, we are committed to peace.” The word peace comes from the Latin meaning “freedom from civil disorder”. Taking it out of the concept of government perhaps a better definition is “freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions and the existence of healthy interpersonal relationships.” This type of freedom from disquieting thoughts and emotions is a key element for us as human beings to be healthy physically and emotionally. Perhaps this is why the first line of our mission statement has to do with the concept of peace.
We as caregivers strive to create a peaceful existence for ourselves, which helps us provide treatments and service to our clients, creating space for peace in their lives.
At a personal level, peaceful behaviors are kind, considerate,
respectful, just, and tolerant of others’ beliefs and behaviors — all of this tending to manifest
goodwill.
-Robert G. (The Dragontree NW Spa Director)
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Funny how things come at the exact time that they are supposed to this message I’m reading from you came on a morning where I was trying to do just what you’re saying. It was so great to read this and confirm the universe is telling me this is what will heal me. I will let you know as I expect great things today! Either way thank you for this, it’s perfect for where I’m at right at this very moment ❤️
How wonderful. Yes, let us know!
Briana – I appreciate this wonderful (and timely!) post. I find that when I’m aware of certain negative assumptions popping up, if I can stop, be “still” and just listen for a few minutes, I always hear something healing and love-based coming through. Thank you again – your messages are always spot on!
I love that you always here something healing and love-based. Such a powerful message coming through.
I cand back from a stressful drs appointment and read this before I knew it was from you. I haven’t started my journals (I’m a procrastinator and sick) but I believe in this statement and practice it routinely. Changing my perspective has changed my opinion of me too. I no longer beat myself up. I may not be perfect but I’m trying I’m also more open to others. I used to be but then I got sick-etc.
Thank you for this. We may not get what we ask for but we get what we need. ❤️
You’re welcome
Thank you Briana, for your generosity and great insight. This message speaks directly to my tendency to assume “un-generously” when text messages or communication to my beloved go without reply for hours or receive one word responses. My immediate assumption is he is intentionally ignoring me. Of course, this causes all sorts of problems and my wounded ego creates hurtful stories in my head to support my negative assumptions. The reality is, he is really, really busy at work most days and really not ignoring me. My negative assumptions are symptoms of bigger issues, I realize, and perhaps by re-framing my thoughts and assuming generously about him I can get to the root of the real issues. It’s definitely worth a try.
I’d love to hear how it goes!
I’ve been doing this for many years, looking for the good in people and situations, and always encourage others to do likewise. It’s amazing what a difference it makes! Sure, I have been let down by others at times but even then I try to work out the situation with them and find clarity on how things actually happened, rather than just blame them for their ‘faults’. This way of acting has deepened many of my relationships and often resulted in a much increased awareness in others. I can recommend it!
Awesome.
Excellent blog post! Thanks 😊👍🏻🌀
You’re welcome.