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Growing, Observing, and Opening: Three More Paths to a Long Life

We’re incredible organisms. With proper care, our bodies and minds can last for a century or more. Just what constitutes “proper care” is up for debate, but over the past… Read More

How to Live a Longer Life

Perhaps more than ever, mortality is the focus of our news – day after day, week after week, month after month. Over time such persistent messages find their way into… Read More

13 Ways to Connect

Before we get swept up in all the material aspects of the holidays, I thought I’d write a bit about the opportunities for inner growth and awakening presented by the… Read More

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I get to watch someone begin to consciously shape her identity, and I’m often reminded of how that process went for me. We make choices that are influenced partly by our own inclinations and partly by what we think will get us the approval of our peers. We discard many of our early beliefs simply on the basis that they were assigned to us rather than having adopted them deliberately. For me, this included a first conscious appraisal of the value of religion in my life, and I decided there was none. A decade of atheism followed. Then I had a handful of spontaneous spiritual experiences and eventually welcomed that dimension back into my life. But I chose not to rejoin any single religion, partly because I was brought up in a religious tradition that always referred to God as “He.” My own experiences, however, were mainly of a feminine higher power – a Divine Mother – and in that presence I feel a peace and love that are beyond my comprehension. In the lead-up to Mother’s Day, I’ve been writing about our concepts of Mother, and this one – the Goddess – has been stifled in the West. Most religions, at their essential core anyway, envision God as a consciousness with no single gender or form. Some even openly celebrate the Divine in female, male, dual-gender, and animal forms. But overall, just as men dominate most arenas, the great majority of religious prophets and leaders (Jesus, Muhammad, Krishna, Buddha, Moses, the twelve apostles, every pope, most priests and rabbis, etc.) have been men, and this is reflected in how most of the world conceives of God. Thus, not only government, finance, science, and industry, but even our access to the spiritual – the realm that transcends humanity – is largely controlled by men. There’s simply no way we can have a balanced or accurate view of reality when the leadership lacks female representation. As I see it, the rise of womankind, meaning true equality for women around the world and in all fields, is a vital stage in human evolution, and indeed, our only hope at surmounting the huge challenges that humanity is facing today. This includes female representation in spirituality. In fact, opening ourselves to a God that is equally male and female (and neither) can be a powerful catalyst toward recognition of our equality on the social plane. I was blessed to have several teachers, both female and male, who, while using different words, said essentially the same thing: When it comes to connecting to God (feel free to substitute Dao, Love, Universe, Spirit, Higher Self, Buddha Nature, or whatever other term you prefer), it doesn’t matter what form or name you devote yourself to, so long as that devotion is pure and includes a recognition that the form is simply a portal to the Whole. That is, if all things are expressions of the Divine, just choose whichever form (nature, art, music, Jesus, Muhammad, Light, wise old man, fierce Goddess, your child, your dog, your sweet mother) feels most natural for you to love, and love it completely. Love it without restraint. Love it without putting any conditions on it. Love it without asking it not to change or depart. As you do so, remind yourself that this particularly lovable expression is a window to the Absolute, and intend that this easy love is a little flame that will melt open your heart and expand your perception – a flame that will grow to include all forms, and then what is beyond form. As for me (and millions of others), I find it easier to love and feel loved by a female expression of the Divine – the Divine as Mother – rather than the Divine as Father. It’s not hard to understand why: despite the near-absence of the Mother and Goddess from major religions, some of our deepest symbols and stories are of the fierce mother protecting her young, the mother feeding and clothing her children, the mother who tends and listens, and the mother who takes care of the home while the father goes off to make his mark on the world. Let’s look at one of the few major religions that openly reveres the divine feminine. In Hinduism, each of the various expressions of motherly love is represented by a different goddess. There is Durga, the protector, who rides on a lion. There is Saraswati, mother of the word, learning, and creative expression. There is Kali, who imparts a fierceness to cut through the world of illusion (she is often depicted with a necklace of heads, because she loves us so much that she would figuratively decapitate us to liberate us from the wayward urges of our mind and senses). There is Lakshmi, the giver, who is frequently portrayed with a shower of gold coins pouring out of her palm, to reflect the Divine intention that we, as the Divine Itself, should experience and rejoice in the abundance of this life. Hinduism isn’t really polytheistic in the way outsiders sometimes think – it’s more of a “How do I love thee?” devotion of recognizing the many endearing facets of One Spirit. In the book Aghora, teacher Vimalananda speaks of the value of motherliness in the related tradition of Tantra: The doctor who cannot take a motherly attitude toward his patients is a mere pill pusher. My teacher insisted that all males should learn motherly love. Tantra is the worship of Mother; it is the most advanced method for inculcating maternal feelings. It is undeniable that as you look to the world, so the world will look to you. If the world is your Mother and all its inhabitants your family there is never need for loneliness, fear or despair.¹ I encourage you this week to explore the experience of allowing yourself to be mothered by the universe. How does that feel? What thoughts and feelings come up? I’m not suggesting that you need to join a new religion, but simply open yourself to this notion – that the world, rather than being something we need to conquer, is actually a Great Provider that wants only the highest good for you. From this perspective, how you see life’s challenges differently? Be well, Peter ________________________________________ [1] Svoboda, R. (1986). Aghora. Albuquerque, NM: Brotherhood of Life. [post_title] => Mothered by the Universe [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => learning-to-be-mothered-by-the-universe [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2019-06-03 03:46:16 [post_modified_gmt] => 2019-06-03 03:46:16 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://thedragontree.com/?p=7341 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 8 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [1] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8701 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2022-07-14 19:48:32 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-07-14 19:48:32 [post_content] => Previously I wrote about how community is like medicine. Our circle of fellow humans goes through this amazing journey with us . . . encouraging us, witnessing us, screaming with us on the roller coasters, and holding our hand when we take our last breath. My orientation in that article was toward what community can do for us, but it’s at least as important to look at what we can do for our community. I was reading about a Native American grief ritual described by Black Elk, and while the ritual itself was interesting, what stuck with me was his assertion that long-held grief isn’t good for a person or the community to which that person belongs. That is, when someone is mired in suffering, this can have a negative impact on their community. You can probably think of plenty of examples where a glaring state of imbalance, such as rage or terror, could result in behaviors that are detrimental to others. But the effects of less dramatic, often chronic negative states are subtler. What happens – besides their own discomfort – when a person is trapped in depression, anxiety, or grief for years? One repercussion is that they have a diminished capacity to fully show up in their community. We might think, “Well, the community doesn’t really need me to be at my best,” but imagine going to a place where almost everyone was depressed, afraid, or angry. Such places do exist, of course, and you can feel it as a palpable mass degradation of the human spirit. These days we may feel that we don’t have any real obligation to our community, which is so different from how humans have operated for most of our history. Today community may be seen as an entirely optional part of life. We can live in near isolation while anonymous members of our community manage the utilities that provide us with power, water, and internet, take away our garbage, maintain our roads, even deliver our groceries. It feels like independence, but in truth we’re more dependent than ever on an infrastructure other humans maintain – we just don’t know who those humans are. We’ve lost our sense of responsibility to our community. It’s due in part to the feeling that our government is huge, remote, and corrupt. But if our response is to disengage, the situation can only get worse. If anything, the sense of disconnection from our elected representatives and neighbors should magnify the need to do what we can to make a positive difference. It’s not just an obligation, it’s also an opportunity. If we can recognize and accept that our quality of presence affects others, this may inspire us to be our best selves. And it’s not just a matter of what we do but also who we are and how we are. Becoming fundamentally well inside helps heal the community. Imagine how healthily a community of fundamentally well people manages challenges. If you’ve been struggling, I don’t mean to make you feel guilty as well; that won’t help you or your community. Rather than focusing on the negative impact your unwellness might have on your community, consider that getting well is good for you and it’s good for your community. Sometimes it’s easier to do it for others than for yourself. Years ago, I read A Course in Miracles with friends. If you’re unfamiliar with it, it’s a book on spiritual awakening with a section of scripture and a year-long workbook of daily lessons. It’s not for everyone, but I gained some valuable insights from going through it. One of those insights occurred when I encountered this passage: “Lesson 66: My happiness and my function are one.” Whereas I had tended to think of my happiness as a personal thing – sometimes even a selfish thing – this spiritual book was telling me that being happy (true, causeless happiness) is one of the greatest things I can do for the world. As I meditated on it, I saw clearly that the happy people I’ve known were like lights in every setting they entered. Without even intending it, they had a therapeutic effect on everyone they encountered. Not only did they tend to uplift those around them, in an unspoken way they communicated that this is a possibility for you, too. Happiness is a perspective, a choice. If I can choose it, you can choose it. Being happy makes us more peaceful, compassionate, and creative. It gives us the freedom to see a bigger picture, rather than focusing on what’s wrong or bad. Even just one happy person in a room full of scared people can change the whole atmosphere – and the choices that community makes. So I encourage you to consider this week:

Who am I and what role do I play in my various communities?

How have I been affected by the genuinely happy people I’ve known?

What do I believe stands between me and being one of those happy people?

What happens when I make a conscious choice of how I’m going to show up in a given setting?

When I give, what do I receive?

How do I feel when I put myself in service to others?

Where could I dedicate myself to more actively resolve any unhealthy patterns of thought, communication, or behavior?

How will I be different as I heal, and how will I affect my community differently as I release my baggage?

When will I choose happiness?

Be well, Peter [post_title] => The Best Thing You Can Do For the World is to Be Genuinely Happy [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => the-best-thing-you-can-do-for-the-world-is-to-be-genuinely-happy [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-07-14 20:31:48 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-07-14 20:31:48 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8701 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 2 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8811 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2022-09-09 21:45:12 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-09-09 21:45:12 [post_content] => In working with the community that has developed around our Dreambook, Briana and I have encountered people looking for many different forms of life-optimization. While there’s plenty of guidance we can offer someone to help them figure out and actualize what makes them happy, we meet quite a lot of people who essentially already have it. They really are living the dream. The main issue is that they just don’t see it. They often suffer from what my friend Andy Dooley calls “lousy and lazy thinking.” Today I want to talk about the antidote. Whether you’ve already got a great thing going or there’s clearly a gap between where you are now and where you want to be, either way, you’ll benefit from being deliberate with how you use your attention. Attention is like fertilizer. When you put your attention on something it grows. This is why panicky thoughts tend to balloon and pain tends to increase when we focus on it. Unfortunately, bad experiences also tend to cut deeper grooves in our inner terrain, causing stronger memories and a tendency to be retriggered. We can easily get into a negative feedback loop as the thought “something’s wrong” demands our attention and then gets fed by it. Our nervous system is just trying to be helpful; we’re wired this way to ensure our survival. Thus, it’s by design that things that signal danger are able to usurp our attention. But even while the risk of physical danger is lower than ever for most modern humans, we’ve trained ourselves to react similarly to a very broad range of other conditions, like money scarcity and situations that could lead to disapproval by our peers (because we subconsciously associate both money and our tribe’s approval with our survival). But as humans with highly evolved brains capable of reasoning, we don’t need to be run by our animalistic side. We can change our default programs. One of the best antidotes is get a hold of that mind and put your attention on something else. Your two best options are (1) whatever you are currently engaged with (A.K.A. mindfulness) (2) anything that is good, fascinating, funny, joyous, celebratory, beautiful, loving, trustworthy, kind, generous, or peaceful. By putting your attention on what is good and what is here and now, you fertilize those parts of life and override your overactive survival mechanisms. Not only does this help heal you of the tendency to focus on the bad (or possibly-maybe-could-be-bad), if you do it enough it actually starts to change your life. If you’re using the Dreambook, an easy thing to put your attention on is all the goals you achieve. Too often we complete something, barely register it, and move on to the next thing. Just pausing, acknowledging, and celebrating this achievement amplifies the feelings of satisfaction, self-trust, and gratitude. Revel in those feelings. The satisfaction of completion – like finishing a puzzle or making it to the finish line – is a combination of relief and delight. The feeling of self-trust is like an inner stability and fortitude. You said you were going to do this and you do it. You can rely on yourself. You will always be there for you. Finally, gratitude makes you feel expansive and connected. Consider all the internal powers (your body, your ingenuity, your creativity, your persistence, etc.), external powers (the people and resources that helped you get it done), and spiritual powers (the vision, strength, and gifts of your Highest Self) that made this possible. It’s like saying to your system, “I’m pressing the save button. I’m configuring myself for trust, fulfillment, serendipities, and optimism.” While it’s especially important to do this with your big quarterly and one-year or longer-term goals, it’s perfectly wonderful to do it with your monthly, weekly, and daily goals too. In fact, the more you celebrate the more you start to notice reasons to celebrate. Be so well, Peter [post_title] => The Antidote: Celebration [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => the-antidote-celebration [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-09-09 21:45:12 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-09-09 21:45:12 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8811 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 2 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) ) [post_count] => 3 [current_post] => -1 [before_loop] => 1 [in_the_loop] => [post] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7341 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2019-04-30 16:32:37 [post_date_gmt] => 2019-04-30 16:32:37 [post_content] => Being the parent of an adolescent is a fascinating thing. I get to watch someone begin to consciously shape her identity, and I’m often reminded of how that process went for me. We make choices that are influenced partly by our own inclinations and partly by what we think will get us the approval of our peers. We discard many of our early beliefs simply on the basis that they were assigned to us rather than having adopted them deliberately. For me, this included a first conscious appraisal of the value of religion in my life, and I decided there was none. A decade of atheism followed. Then I had a handful of spontaneous spiritual experiences and eventually welcomed that dimension back into my life. But I chose not to rejoin any single religion, partly because I was brought up in a religious tradition that always referred to God as “He.” My own experiences, however, were mainly of a feminine higher power – a Divine Mother – and in that presence I feel a peace and love that are beyond my comprehension. In the lead-up to Mother’s Day, I’ve been writing about our concepts of Mother, and this one – the Goddess – has been stifled in the West. Most religions, at their essential core anyway, envision God as a consciousness with no single gender or form. Some even openly celebrate the Divine in female, male, dual-gender, and animal forms. But overall, just as men dominate most arenas, the great majority of religious prophets and leaders (Jesus, Muhammad, Krishna, Buddha, Moses, the twelve apostles, every pope, most priests and rabbis, etc.) have been men, and this is reflected in how most of the world conceives of God. Thus, not only government, finance, science, and industry, but even our access to the spiritual – the realm that transcends humanity – is largely controlled by men. There’s simply no way we can have a balanced or accurate view of reality when the leadership lacks female representation. As I see it, the rise of womankind, meaning true equality for women around the world and in all fields, is a vital stage in human evolution, and indeed, our only hope at surmounting the huge challenges that humanity is facing today. This includes female representation in spirituality. In fact, opening ourselves to a God that is equally male and female (and neither) can be a powerful catalyst toward recognition of our equality on the social plane. I was blessed to have several teachers, both female and male, who, while using different words, said essentially the same thing: When it comes to connecting to God (feel free to substitute Dao, Love, Universe, Spirit, Higher Self, Buddha Nature, or whatever other term you prefer), it doesn’t matter what form or name you devote yourself to, so long as that devotion is pure and includes a recognition that the form is simply a portal to the Whole. That is, if all things are expressions of the Divine, just choose whichever form (nature, art, music, Jesus, Muhammad, Light, wise old man, fierce Goddess, your child, your dog, your sweet mother) feels most natural for you to love, and love it completely. Love it without restraint. Love it without putting any conditions on it. Love it without asking it not to change or depart. As you do so, remind yourself that this particularly lovable expression is a window to the Absolute, and intend that this easy love is a little flame that will melt open your heart and expand your perception – a flame that will grow to include all forms, and then what is beyond form. As for me (and millions of others), I find it easier to love and feel loved by a female expression of the Divine – the Divine as Mother – rather than the Divine as Father. It’s not hard to understand why: despite the near-absence of the Mother and Goddess from major religions, some of our deepest symbols and stories are of the fierce mother protecting her young, the mother feeding and clothing her children, the mother who tends and listens, and the mother who takes care of the home while the father goes off to make his mark on the world. Let’s look at one of the few major religions that openly reveres the divine feminine. In Hinduism, each of the various expressions of motherly love is represented by a different goddess. There is Durga, the protector, who rides on a lion. There is Saraswati, mother of the word, learning, and creative expression. There is Kali, who imparts a fierceness to cut through the world of illusion (she is often depicted with a necklace of heads, because she loves us so much that she would figuratively decapitate us to liberate us from the wayward urges of our mind and senses). There is Lakshmi, the giver, who is frequently portrayed with a shower of gold coins pouring out of her palm, to reflect the Divine intention that we, as the Divine Itself, should experience and rejoice in the abundance of this life. Hinduism isn’t really polytheistic in the way outsiders sometimes think – it’s more of a “How do I love thee?” devotion of recognizing the many endearing facets of One Spirit. In the book Aghora, teacher Vimalananda speaks of the value of motherliness in the related tradition of Tantra: The doctor who cannot take a motherly attitude toward his patients is a mere pill pusher. My teacher insisted that all males should learn motherly love. Tantra is the worship of Mother; it is the most advanced method for inculcating maternal feelings. It is undeniable that as you look to the world, so the world will look to you. If the world is your Mother and all its inhabitants your family there is never need for loneliness, fear or despair.¹ I encourage you this week to explore the experience of allowing yourself to be mothered by the universe. How does that feel? What thoughts and feelings come up? I’m not suggesting that you need to join a new religion, but simply open yourself to this notion – that the world, rather than being something we need to conquer, is actually a Great Provider that wants only the highest good for you. From this perspective, how you see life’s challenges differently? Be well, Peter ________________________________________ [1] Svoboda, R. (1986). Aghora. Albuquerque, NM: Brotherhood of Life. 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