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divine love

The Six Forms of Love

As a younger adult, I often had mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day. If I was single, I felt left out. If I was in a relationship, I felt obligated to… Read More

Waking Up to your Expanded Self

Over the past several weeks, I’ve been discussing the 14 primary themes in our book, Rituals for Transformation. It’s a 108-day process with a short lesson each day, designed to… Read More

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Not only will a mindfulness practice help you through many of the challenges of the season – like travel, family dynamics, and spending – it will take you into a richer, “realer” experience that’s satisfying, peaceful, and healing. What is mindfulness? My favorite definitions of mindfulness come from Thich Nhat Hanh. He describes it as “keeping one’s consciousness alive to the present reality.” Essentially, this means being “all in” with whatever you’re engaged in, rather than going somewhere else in your mind. TNH also describes mindfulness as “taking hold of your own consciousness.” It’s a powerful choice, especially during difficult situations. In practicing being alive to the present reality, there are some attitudes that help, explained thoroughly in Buddhist scriptures. Contemporary mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn, who developed Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, emphasizes the following seven (which I’ll explain in my own words below): non-judging, patience, beginner’s mind, trust, non-striving, acceptance, and letting go. Non-judging is a great place to start. Judging is something we do continuously, even when we’re not aware of it. We judge some things as good, others as bad, some as desirable, others as undesirable, and using judgment to categorize everything we come in contact with. The problem is that habitual judgment deprives us of the opportunity to engage with what’s present in a totally authentic, truthful way. Furthermore, judgment keeps us in polarized states, in continuous micro-conflicts. Mindfulness and patience go hand-in-hand. A major trigger for departing from a mindful state is our desire to make something more interesting, intense, or productive happen right now. Staying with whatever’s at hand – say, filing your nails – can initially feel painfully bland. But it’s rewarding to feel your impatience. How does it feel in your body? How does it produce greater interest, intensity, or productivity by inducing you to leave the present reality? If you notice that you aren’t very patient, remember non-judgment. Practitioners of mindfulness often speak of discovering a new depth in everyday activities, an unexpected richness – even in filing nails. This is facilitated in part by observing a beginner’s mind – experiencing reality as it actually is, rather than through the many lenses that produce preset expectations. I prefer the term innocence for this state – meeting each new moment with total innocence and wonder. It’s difficult for spiritual expansion (i.e., freedom) to occur without a willingness to relinquish what we think we know. Trust helps keep us in the moment. When we pin our consciousness to the present, inevitably some squirming will start happening. The mind says, “I need to go somewhere else! I need to be entertained! I need to get stuff done! I need to get out of this discomfort! I’m claustrophobic!” When we trust that we’re in the right place (and, frankly, anything else is a lie) we root into the here-and-now. Trusting is an act of holding space for ourselves. And then, something does change – the claustrophobic feeling opens into a new spaciousness. I mentioned that one of the hurdles to maintaining mindfulness is the mind’s desire to be productive – more productive, that is, than whatever we’re currently doing. The attitude of non-striving is meant to address this tendency. Non-striving means do this for the sake of doing it rather than for the outcome you hope it will achieve. This is especially important when practicing mindfulness in difficult family dynamics. If you’re hoping it’s going to fix something, you’re not going to be able to be truly mindful with whatever happens. Non-striving doesn’t mean we don’t do anything useful, we don’t do our best, or we don’t intend to improve ourselves. We simply trust that when we bring the full aliveness of our consciousness to whatever we’ve chosen for the present moment, this is enough. Acceptance is the key to relinquishing striving. Jiddu Krishnamurti once disclosed the “secret” of his enlightenment to a group of eager students: “I don’t mind what happens.” Said another way, it’s total acceptance of the inevitable. In contrast, most of us spend considerable energy in resistance to what once happened, what’s currently happening, and what might happen. Mindfulness entails being with reality – which is always whatever is here and now – without judging, departing, resisting, or manipulating it. For most people, one of the biggest shifts involved in such a practice is feeling all the time. Rather than giving our consciousness away to a mind that is always one step removed from reality, this means fully welcoming the total experience of now, right as it happens. Finally, letting go is essential to staying in the present and being free. Every thought can be let go. Every grievance can be let go. Every form of resistance can be let go. Every identity can be let go. And layer by layer by layer, we become freer to simply be with whatever comes up. In any moment, you can ask, “What can I let go of right now?” and there’s always something, if only the current moment itself. When we’re attached to anything – an old story, a desire for things to never change, the belief that we’re right – it limits our freedom and distorts the way we see the world. Since there are seven practices and seven days in the week, I recommend you devote one day of each week to each practice. Write down the schedule for yourself on a piece of paper (or put it in your Dreambook). Don’t expect to remember all seven all the time – especially during a stressful moment in the holidays. Just trust that the one that’s most relevant to the nature of your challenge will come to mind. Be well (and tell me what happens), Peter [post_title] => A Freer Way to Experience the Holidays [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => a-month-of-mindful-holidays [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2021-12-03 21:54:56 [post_modified_gmt] => 2021-12-03 21:54:56 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8424 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [1] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8856 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2022-11-11 21:35:48 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-11-11 21:35:48 [post_content] => Last week I wrote about the theory of homeopathy. Homeopathy is the practice of prescribing specially prepared homeopathic remedies made from extremely dilute natural substances. In many cases, a remedy is used to treat the symptoms that a larger dose of the same substance would cause. For instance, chopping onions may cause redness, burning and tearing of the eyes, and a runny nose. A homeopathic preparation of onion (Allium cepa) is used to treat these conditions, such as when they occur due to a cold or allergies. Today I want to clarify some points and explore homeopathy’s conundrum. First, since people sometimes confuse the terms, homeopathic is different than holistic, which refers to any treatment that aims to consider and support the whole individual. Acupuncture and naturopathic medicine are examples of holistic systems, though most acupuncturists don’t practice homeopathy, and homeopathy is usually a relatively small fraction of what most naturopathic physicians do. Second, most of the scientific community believes homeopathy is pseudoscience and no more effective than a placebo. Indeed, there are numerous studies that invalidate homeopathy. Advocates of homeopathy point out that the unfavorable studies involve giving subjects a homeopathic remedy matched to a particular symptom or medical condition without utilizing the specificity that’s essential in effective homeopathic diagnosis. Homeopaths contend that when a remedy is matched not only to the dominant symptoms, but the whole picture of the individual, the rate of success is much higher. As I said in the last article, I’ve witnessed many cases in which homeopathy did nothing useful – though at least it was entirely harmless and without side effects – and I have also witnessed cases in which it was remarkably effective. Could it have been a placebo effect? Sure. But if it was “merely” a placebo effect, it was a profound placebo effect: a perfect medicine that was entirely beneficial, painless to administer, palatable, with zero downside. One should be asking, “How can we reproduce this?” Homeopathy is vastly popular around the world. Its use is especially prevalent in France, Italy, India, Switzerland, Mexico, Germany, England, and the U.S. 29% of the EU population uses homeopathy on a daily basis. About half of Germans have used homeopathic medicines and about 70% say they are satisfied with its effects.¹History shows us that sheer number of adherents doesn’t make something correct or morally right, but we’re smarter than ever and have more options. So, what’s going on here? Why do so many people use it if it’s a sham? Well, there are two possibilities. 1) The thousands of practitioners and roughly 200 million people who use homeopathy on a regular basis are fooling themselves. They think homeopathy is useful but it’s just a placebo and/or wishful thinking. Or 2) There is actual benefit to homeopathy which can’t be substantiated by current science and is not accurately reflected by the research. Trust me, as a scientist, it’s hard to understand its validity, but I also know what I’ve seen. Are there other systems of medicine with higher rates of success? Probably. To be frank, it is not my go-to modality except for a small number of conditions for which I consistently get good results with homeopathic remedies. However, I’m a mediocre homeopath and I have more training and skill in other forms of medicine. But when it works, it works. And I have seen cases where several medicines were tried but only the homeopathic one succeeded, including numerous instances in which the patient was highly skeptical of homeopathy. If it were a placebo effect, why would the other medicines not have produced a benefit equal to that of homeopathy? Why would a skeptical patient have a placebo effect when the basis for a placebo response is an expectation of benefit? Should science have the ability to invalidate someone’s subjective experience of benefit? I don’t have the answers to these questions. I know some incredibly intelligent doctors who practice homeopathy, and I have seen it and them derided by the medical mainstream. Skeptics’ concern, they say, is that people might not get effective medical help because they’re using homeopathics instead. I agree that if someone isn’t getting a benefit from a chosen medical modality, it might be useful to consider other options. I also believe it’s everyone’s right to manage their health in whatever way they wish – even if it hastens their demise. For perspective, it’s important to note that, according to a recent Johns Hopkins study, 250,000 Americans die each year due to medical errors, making mainstream medicine the third leading cause of death after heart disease and cancer. I have seen people killed by mainstream medical treatments. A modality’s safety is no small thing. While there are plenty of people who are averse to biomedicine, we tend to treat the mainstream with a greater degree of respect than is extended to alternative fields. For instance, when we hear that a particular drug or procedure doesn’t work, most people conclude that this particular intervention wasn’t effective. We don’t say, “Well, biomedicine doesn’t work.” In contrast, when an alternative medicine fails to benefit a certain condition, a common conclusion is that the entire modality is worthless. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen an author cite a single failed acupuncture study as proof that acupuncture is bunk. It’s an unfortunate reflection of the tendency for the mainstream to squash its rivals, even when they don’t truly threaten it. It's important, therefore, that we all keep our eyes wide open and practice critical thinking (and not just when it comes to medicine). Be your own advocate, trust your intuition, listen to your body, and don’t assume that just because someone has a degree they know what’s right for you. Be well, Dr. Peter Borten

https://www.hri-research.org/resources/essentialevidence/use-of-homeopathy-across-the-world/ ; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regulation_and_prevalence_of_homeopathy ; https://homeopathyeurope.org/

[post_title] => Are We Fooling Ourselves When We Believe in Alternative Medicine? [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => are-we-fooling-ourselves-when-we-believe-in-alternative-medicine [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-11-14 03:10:23 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-11-14 03:10:23 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8856 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 8 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8438 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2021-12-18 22:46:30 [post_date_gmt] => 2021-12-18 22:46:30 [post_content] => Winter solstice is coming. For me it always brings a mix of feelings. I don’t like the early sunsets, but I do like the cozy feeling of candles and music indoors while it’s dark and blustery outside. There’s something about the contrast that makes me appreciate the light more in the winter than the summer. Our family’s main winter holiday is solstice, when we celebrate the light and remember our ability to kindle it in the darkest of times. I’ve written about this repeatedly over the years – finding the light, honoring the light, and even being the light. But light and dark are two sides of the same coin, and there’s an important opening in winter to also make peace with the darkness and learn from it. If we look out onto a wintry landscape, we see mostly dead or dormant plants and not a lot of signs of life. Much of the life that remains has retreated into underground roots or it’s hibernating in caves. Similarly, winter brings a natural inclination – and an invitation – to go inward and down to our depths. By going “down to our depths” I don’t mean wallowing in depression. I mean willingly visiting the parts of ourselves that are kept hidden, far from the surface. For instance, many of us want to be always energetic, bright, happy, and productive. We may suppress other facets of ourselves that seem to contrast with this ideal, though they may be equally virtuous and might also help us to be more balanced, well-rounded beings. Even if you’ve come to terms with being an introvert and you don’t want to be boisterous or outgoing, there are still likely to be aspects of yourself that you’re less acquainted with or don’t approve of. The same goes for how we regard the world. There are parts we accept and parts we resist or even deny. For everything we’re averse to in the outside world, there’s a corresponding aspect in our inner depths that awaits reckoning. To the degree that we haven’t accepted and integrated aspects of the whole enchilada – our inner and outer worlds – there’s an opportunity to experience life in a way that feels that much more free and complete. When we consider a visit to our depths a feeling of fear may arise (or, especially if it’s suppressed, numbness, heaviness, or depression). In Chinese five element philosophy winter is ruled by the water element and fear is the negative emotion associated with water. Most fear stems from our survival mechanisms and winter is a time when lots of things die. This darkness can remind us of our mortality. We might imagine it would be terrifying to let ourselves go along with the descending trajectory of the season. What will we discover about ourselves in the darkness? What if we never find our way back? But if we approach it with willingness and curiosity – bringing our light into it – the feeling changes and the relationship changes. We’re not going kicking and screaming and resisting with everything we’ve got. We bring Love with us. We soften into it, we feel what arises, we accept what we find, and we remember that the fact that we’re able to perceive what’s in the darkness is evidence that our inner light hasn’t departed. Our darkness is like a well, or the inky fathoms of a vast sea. We may not prefer to express everything it contains, but if we can say, “Yes, this is part of me and I accept it,” we move a step closer to complete peace. Much of what we discover we’ve relegated to the shadows is wrapped up in old beliefs and misunderstandings. And though it seems to be put away, it infringes on our freedom simply by being a place where we won’t go. By bravely dropping in we can clear up these stories – much the way a light reveals a monster in the dark to be just a pile of clothes. Inevitably, though, the darkness isn’t just harboring the parts we fear and dislike. It also contains untapped potential. There are aspects of our depths that are just waiting to be invited to the table. Powers that would fill in our gaps. I hope you’ll join me in meeting the darkness this year with openness, and I’d love to hear what you discover. Be well, Peter [post_title] => Making Friends with Darkness [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => making-friends-with-darkness [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2021-12-18 22:47:22 [post_modified_gmt] => 2021-12-18 22:47:22 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8438 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) ) [post_count] => 3 [current_post] => -1 [before_loop] => 1 [in_the_loop] => [post] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8424 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2021-12-03 21:46:36 [post_date_gmt] => 2021-12-03 21:46:36 [post_content] => One of the best ways to keep the holidays from turning into a holidaze is by practicing mindfulness during this season. Not only will a mindfulness practice help you through many of the challenges of the season – like travel, family dynamics, and spending – it will take you into a richer, “realer” experience that’s satisfying, peaceful, and healing. What is mindfulness? My favorite definitions of mindfulness come from Thich Nhat Hanh. He describes it as “keeping one’s consciousness alive to the present reality.” Essentially, this means being “all in” with whatever you’re engaged in, rather than going somewhere else in your mind. TNH also describes mindfulness as “taking hold of your own consciousness.” It’s a powerful choice, especially during difficult situations. In practicing being alive to the present reality, there are some attitudes that help, explained thoroughly in Buddhist scriptures. Contemporary mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn, who developed Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, emphasizes the following seven (which I’ll explain in my own words below): non-judging, patience, beginner’s mind, trust, non-striving, acceptance, and letting go. Non-judging is a great place to start. Judging is something we do continuously, even when we’re not aware of it. We judge some things as good, others as bad, some as desirable, others as undesirable, and using judgment to categorize everything we come in contact with. The problem is that habitual judgment deprives us of the opportunity to engage with what’s present in a totally authentic, truthful way. Furthermore, judgment keeps us in polarized states, in continuous micro-conflicts. Mindfulness and patience go hand-in-hand. A major trigger for departing from a mindful state is our desire to make something more interesting, intense, or productive happen right now. Staying with whatever’s at hand – say, filing your nails – can initially feel painfully bland. But it’s rewarding to feel your impatience. How does it feel in your body? How does it produce greater interest, intensity, or productivity by inducing you to leave the present reality? If you notice that you aren’t very patient, remember non-judgment. Practitioners of mindfulness often speak of discovering a new depth in everyday activities, an unexpected richness – even in filing nails. This is facilitated in part by observing a beginner’s mind – experiencing reality as it actually is, rather than through the many lenses that produce preset expectations. I prefer the term innocence for this state – meeting each new moment with total innocence and wonder. It’s difficult for spiritual expansion (i.e., freedom) to occur without a willingness to relinquish what we think we know. Trust helps keep us in the moment. When we pin our consciousness to the present, inevitably some squirming will start happening. The mind says, “I need to go somewhere else! I need to be entertained! I need to get stuff done! I need to get out of this discomfort! I’m claustrophobic!” When we trust that we’re in the right place (and, frankly, anything else is a lie) we root into the here-and-now. Trusting is an act of holding space for ourselves. And then, something does change – the claustrophobic feeling opens into a new spaciousness. I mentioned that one of the hurdles to maintaining mindfulness is the mind’s desire to be productive – more productive, that is, than whatever we’re currently doing. The attitude of non-striving is meant to address this tendency. Non-striving means do this for the sake of doing it rather than for the outcome you hope it will achieve. This is especially important when practicing mindfulness in difficult family dynamics. If you’re hoping it’s going to fix something, you’re not going to be able to be truly mindful with whatever happens. Non-striving doesn’t mean we don’t do anything useful, we don’t do our best, or we don’t intend to improve ourselves. We simply trust that when we bring the full aliveness of our consciousness to whatever we’ve chosen for the present moment, this is enough. Acceptance is the key to relinquishing striving. Jiddu Krishnamurti once disclosed the “secret” of his enlightenment to a group of eager students: “I don’t mind what happens.” Said another way, it’s total acceptance of the inevitable. In contrast, most of us spend considerable energy in resistance to what once happened, what’s currently happening, and what might happen. Mindfulness entails being with reality – which is always whatever is here and now – without judging, departing, resisting, or manipulating it. For most people, one of the biggest shifts involved in such a practice is feeling all the time. Rather than giving our consciousness away to a mind that is always one step removed from reality, this means fully welcoming the total experience of now, right as it happens. Finally, letting go is essential to staying in the present and being free. Every thought can be let go. Every grievance can be let go. Every form of resistance can be let go. Every identity can be let go. And layer by layer by layer, we become freer to simply be with whatever comes up. In any moment, you can ask, “What can I let go of right now?” and there’s always something, if only the current moment itself. When we’re attached to anything – an old story, a desire for things to never change, the belief that we’re right – it limits our freedom and distorts the way we see the world. Since there are seven practices and seven days in the week, I recommend you devote one day of each week to each practice. Write down the schedule for yourself on a piece of paper (or put it in your Dreambook). Don’t expect to remember all seven all the time – especially during a stressful moment in the holidays. Just trust that the one that’s most relevant to the nature of your challenge will come to mind. Be well (and tell me what happens), Peter [post_title] => A Freer Way to Experience the Holidays [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => a-month-of-mindful-holidays [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2021-12-03 21:54:56 [post_modified_gmt] => 2021-12-03 21:54:56 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8424 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [comment_count] => 0 [current_comment] => -1 [found_posts] => 137 [max_num_pages] => 3 [max_num_comment_pages] => 0 [is_single] => [is_preview] => [is_page] => [is_archive] => 1 [is_date] => [is_year] => [is_month] => [is_day] => [is_time] => [is_author] => [is_category] => 1 [is_tag] => [is_tax] => [is_search] => [is_feed] => [is_comment_feed] => [is_trackback] => [is_home] => [is_privacy_policy] => [is_404] => [is_embed] => [is_paged] => [is_admin] => [is_attachment] => [is_singular] => [is_robots] => [is_favicon] => [is_posts_page] => [is_post_type_archive] => [query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => 5fd15a345f407f42dd755130abd2e826 [query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] => [thumbnails_cached] => [allow_query_attachment_by_filename:protected] => [stopwords:WP_Query:private] => [compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array ( [0] => query_vars_hash [1] => query_vars_changed ) [compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array ( [0] => init_query_flags [1] => parse_tax_query ) )

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A Freer Way to Experience the Holidays

Are We Fooling Ourselves When We Believe in Alternative Medicine?

Making Friends with Darkness

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