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[post_content] => I love cookies of all kinds. At times my wife or kids have made a batch of cookies and – after they each tried one – I quietly finished off all the rest. So I know a thing or two about restraint and lack thereof. Last week I wrote about smoking and a process for making quitting easier. Today let’s look at how we can adapt this process for a healthier relationship with food.
Often we eat in a way that’s out of sync with what’s best for the body (and mind). The most prevalent example is overeating – i.e., eating beyond the point at which we’re no longer hungry. We do this for many reasons: because the food is tasty, because we were taught to empty our plate, because we don’t want to waste food or insult the cook, because of biological mechanisms designed to protect us against famine, or because we’re simply eating on “autopilot.”
Another example is low quality foods. High sugar foods, for example, can suppress the immune system, cause excessive weight gain, promote inflammation, and lead to insulin resistance (type 2 diabetes). Deep fried foods have similar impacts – promoting inflammation and contributing to cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, obesity, and cancer. I won’t list all the examples here, but if it’s highly processed, contains artificial colors and flavors, white flour, chemical preservatives, or was purchased at a gas station, it probably falls into this category.
Other foods may be essentially benign but not good for a given individual because of a personal sensitivity. Since starting to treat people in the late 90s, I’ve seen a huge increase in patients’ awareness of the foods they’re sensitive to. On the whole this is a great thing, though it’s not always easy for people to avoid these foods – even knowing they’ll feel bad later.
For what it’s worth, I try not to entirely forbid any foods, because of the repercussions of setting up a system of deprivation and rebellion. Besides, we can only maintain discipline for so long. Our willpower wanes when we’re tired, hungry, or stressed. And we all occasionally find ourselves in dining situations where there simply aren’t healthy options.
I believe there’s a time and place for almost any food – including cheesecake and French fries – as long as we practice moderation and mindfulness. When these foods constitute a significant portion of our diet, and/or we’re experiencing negative impacts from consuming them, and/or we can’t control ourselves, this should tell us that something needs to change.
For the bulk of our history as a species, food scarcity was one of our main challenges. Now, in much of the world, this has been replaced by the challenge of restraint.
Healthy restraint with food can be as challenging as dealing with a smoking addiction or alcoholism. At least a smoker or alcoholic has the option of entirely removing cigarettes and alcohol from their life. But we’re obligated to keep eating. The closest equivalent we can exercise is to remove from our cupboards the foods that we have the most difficulty with.
Furthermore, almost everyone has beliefs and baggage wrapped up around food and body image, which complicates our relationship with eating. My purpose today isn’t to completely unpack this whole topic, but to just address one aspect of the pattern – restraint around eating in a way that we know isn’t good for us.
Here are seven steps you can take to feel clearer and stronger about what you feed your body:
1: Setting the stage and loving yourself. Make it easy for yourself to succeed and harder for yourself to overeat, to eat unconsciously, or to eat foods that aren’t good for you. These choices are about avoiding or cleaning up the environments that promote poor eating habits; setting some basic ground rules for yourself – except we’re not going to call them rules, but basic standards; honoring the process of nourishing yourself; and remembering that you are worth treating yourself well.
Eat only in a proper dining setting – not at your desk, not in front of a TV, not while driving, not between meals, not while in a meeting – you’re better than that. Get the junky stuff out of your house. Don’t go to fast food restaurants. Tell your coworkers you’re not eating that stuff anymore, so please don’t even offer you a cupcake – you’re better than that too! Bring your own lunch. Eat a healthy meal before the party. Don’t hang out by the food table.
2: Use empowering language. Instead of telling yourself, “I can’t eat that donut” or “I shouldn’t eat those French fries,” use verbiage that conveys power and choice. Some examples: “I don’t eat garbagey foods. I don’t put that crap in my beautiful body. I choose to be a healthy eater. I choose to love myself so much that I only eat really high quality food. I don’t overeat. I choose to stop eating before I’m full. I feel great when I feed myself well.”
3: Slow down and breathe. Slowing down the eating process makes it easier to perceive when you’ve had enough, and also to feel if your body doesn’t like what or how you’re eating. Before you eat something you know isn’t great for you, take at least one deep breath. You’re creating space so that the behavior isn’t automatic and unconscious.
4: Tune in to the underlying feeling. If you’re wanting to eat something unhealthy, or to continue eating even though you know you’re not hungry anymore, tune in to the feeling that’s urging you to do this. Just take a moment to visit it. If it helps, tell yourself, “You can still have the treat afterwards. We just going to do this first.” Often this feeling is below your radar and you respond to it unconsciously by eating and eating. Let’s make it conscious. Drop into your body and feel what’s happening. What does it feel like? An anxious, unsettled feeling? An empty, yearning feeling? Numbness? Whatever you feel, see if you can simply be with it for a moment, without any resistance. Let yourself feel it fully. Take a breath into it. Allow it to pass through you and depart. What happens? Even if you still eat the food in question, this is nonetheless a useful process.
5: Ask your body. If you’re on the verge of eating in an unhealthy way, just take a second to ask inwardly, “How do you feel about my eating this?” Then feel and listen for the response. Maybe you won’t perceive anything, but maybe you’ll feel a very clear, “No thanks” or “I’m good” or “Sure!” or “Please don’t.” I know you haven’t always loved the way your body has looked and felt and performed for you, but consider being friends with it and honoring its feelings about what’s best for it.
6: Give all your attention to the act of eating. It would be excellent if we could all give our full attention to the act of eating throughout every meal. Eating mindlessly doesn’t just make us prone to doing something that’s not good for us, it also means we’re missing out on fully enjoying the food and missing out on the beautiful, sacred, self-loving act of feeding ourselves and connecting to the fruitful earth that provided it.
It’s especially useful to give your full attention to the act when you’re knowingly eating in a way that’s not ideal for you. Let’s say you decide to have some chocolate mousse. You know it’s not a health food, but it’s going to be incredibly delicious, and sometimes that’s a worthwhile tradeoff, because savoring deliciousness has some value too. This only makes sense, of course, if you’re going to be fully present for the deliciousness experience. Enjoy the hell out of it. Don’t speak. Don’t listen to anything but your own chewing and moaning. Don’t go fast.
7: Let go of the guilt. I know it’s easier said than done, but let’s not add insult to injury. Guilt is the worst thing you can sprinkle over your meal. I believe that feelings of guilt, shame, and self-hate have a tangible impact on what happens to that food after you’ve eaten it. You’re not going to digest it as well, be nourished as thoroughly, or clear out the waste as efficiently if you’re in emotional upset about it. If you’re feeling heavy afterwards, take at least a moment to forgive yourself.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because it’s SO freakin’ scrumptious.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because you’re stressed and eating is soothing.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because your ancestors didn’t have enough to eat and wired you to eat as much as you could when you had the chance.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because you’re upset with yourself or displeased with your body.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because it makes you feel more in control.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way to get back at people who have mistreated you or objectified your body.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because you’re upset with the world for telling you to look like an ideal that’s only possible for a small portion of the population.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because you feel deprived or lonely or sad or ungrounded or empty or anxious.
All of this is understandable. AND, you know that there are healthier ways to feel better than by taking it out on your body. Ask your body to forgive you for not always treating it well. Thank your body for being the vehicle that has made this incredible life possible. Take ownership of your body. Forgive your body. Love your body.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Seven Steps for Managing the Habit of Unhealthy Eating
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[post_content] => I am often asked, “What’s the difference between acupuncture and dry needling?” So, I thought I’d answer the question for everyone in our community who might be interested, and offer some history and science along the way.
“Dry needling” is a term that has grown tremendously in usage over the past decade because it’s a newly adopted practice by many physical therapists. It essentially consists of inserting acupuncture needles into tight muscles. In many states, acupuncturists have fought physical therapists’ attempts to expand their scope of practice to include this procedure. However, physical therapists outnumber acupuncturists by about seven to one, which means stronger state organizations and greater legal power.
Acupuncturists argue that physical therapists are essentially stealing their medicine and calling it something different. In some states physical therapists can practice dry needling with no training in it; in others they typically complete a 55-hour course. By comparison, a licensed acupuncturist generally receives about 500 hours of instruction in the acupuncture-specific portion of their training.
For a few centuries in the West and a couple millennia in China, observers of the human body have known about nodules that occur in tight muscles and are associated with chronic, complex pain patterns. You might just call them “knots.” In the mid-1900s a doctor named Janet Travell coined the term myofascial trigger point to describe this phenomenon. About 90% of them are found at the locations of acupuncture points, which were mapped out on bronze statues at least 1,000 years B.C.E.
Travell explained that myofascial trigger points are irritable regions in our connective tissue (muscle and fascia) that get stuck in a contracted state. They make muscle fibers taut, reducing muscle strength and range of motion, and causing pain, numbness, and other symptoms that often spread to areas far from where they originate. In many cases, what we perceive to be a visceral problem (heart attack, ulcer, migraine, irritable bowel, urinary tract infection, etc.) is actually the symptom of one or more trigger points. I believe trigger points are responsible for most of the physical pain humans experience.
Travell and her colleague David Simons went on to chart the locations and symptoms of trigger points in every major muscle. Travell became John F. Kennedy’s doctor (the first female presidential physician) and his family credited her with saving Kennedy’s political career by curing his back pain through the release of myofascial trigger points.
Travell (and researchers before her) discovered that it’s possible to release a trigger point through a simple procedure she called “ischemic compression.” It basically entails pressing firmly on the center of a trigger point for about half a minute until it softens. Travell’s maps and manual techniques for releasing trigger points were adopted by physical therapists over the following decades. (For what it’s worth, body workers have probably been doing ischemic compression for ages, without calling it ischemic compression.)
Travell also found that she was able to release trigger points by injecting them with numbing agents or saline. However, it emerged that the most effective aspect of this practice wasn’t the injection of fluid, but the mechanical act of probing at the trigger point with a needle. That is, a release could be accomplished even with a “dry” needle, without injecting anything.
Based on this new expression, one could say that all acupuncture is “dry needling.” This is precisely what acupuncturists have always done, although the insertion of needles into these local epicenters of pain is generally just one aspect of an effective acupuncture treatment. What makes an acupuncture treatment holistic (i.e., addressing the whole person) is that the treatment also addresses the underlying mechanisms that led to the surface issue (e.g., stress, diet, digestive problems, more global structural or energetic imbalances, etc.).
In the 1980s, an osteopath and acupuncturist named Mark Seem, founder of Tri-State Acupuncture College in New York City, began integrating Travell’s trigger point maps into traditional acupuncture. He met with Travell and demonstrated his approach. Travell immediately recognized the value of using a much thinner, solid, and springy acupuncture needle (which has a cone-shaped tip), as compared to the hypodermic needles she had been using (which have a scalpel-like hollow beveled tip).
Over the following decades, physical therapists gradually discovered that “dry needling” with acupuncture needles is often a faster and more effective trigger point release method as compared to the various forms of pressure, friction, stretching, exercise, and structural education that have been part of the physical therapists’ palette for their hundred-ish year history. In court cases between acupuncturists and physical therapists, PTs often argue that the insertion of needles into trigger points is a simply an extension of these “manual therapies” described in their scope of practice, and the decision comes down to whether or not the judge agrees.
The other common argument by PTs is that there are many differences between dry needling and acupuncture. In my opinion, having observed PTs doing dry needling and having studied many styles of acupuncture, there’s clear evidence that acupuncturists have been doing everything encompassed in dry needling for a very long time. PTs have insisted that because they know nothing of the acupuncture meridians (energy circuits along which acupuncture points are located), dry needling therefore isn’t acupuncture. But this is like saying that because you haven’t studied anatomy, when you cut into someone with a scalpel you’re not actually doing surgery. Further, there are many systems of acupuncture, several of which don’t utilize meridians.
Enough about the arguments. My purpose isn’t to determine whether or not it’s right for physical therapists to do dry needling, but to clarify the differences in the consumer’s experience.
While acupuncture is great for pain, not all acupuncturists are pain specialists, and most acupuncturists don’t specifically target the trigger points mapped by Travell. If that’s what you’re looking for, it may be worth seeking out an acupuncturist who specializes in pain. Or you might be happy with a skilled physical therapist who does dry needling.
Both acupuncturists and physical therapists run the spectrum from mediocre to brilliantly talented. I have no doubt that there are some masterful PTs out there who get great results doing acupuncture (dry needling) – perhaps better for structural issues than an average-level acupuncturist. I have had patients ask me to “fix” them after a painful dry needling session from a PT that worsened their condition, and I’ve had other patients report good results from dry needling.
If you are skittish about needles, you may not enjoy dry needling from a physical therapist, since it tends to be more intense than the average acupuncture treatment. That said, any form of acupuncture that specifically focuses on releasing trigger points is unlikely to be painless. Regardless of the style of acupuncture I’m performing, I always tell my patients I’m not the person to see if they don’t want to feel anything; I believe a certain degree of sensation is productive.
If you’re someone who cares about how much training your practitioner has received, perhaps it’s meaningful to you that an acupuncturist typically spends ten times as many hours learning their craft than a physical therapist spends learning dry needling. (And virtually all of the acupuncturist’s continuing education will be in acupuncture as well.)
If your primary concern is having your treatments covered by insurance, you’re more likely to get this from a physical therapist. There are some acupuncturists who bill insurance, but more often it will be up to you to submit your receipts and hope for reimbursement.
If it’s important to you that your treatment gets to the root and addresses the whole you, including non-structural issues, you’ll probably be more satisfied with treatment from an acupuncturist. The common experience of “going to acu-land” as some of my patients call it – i.e., becoming deeply relaxed or even having a transcendent experience – isn’t part of the dry needling session. Some would consider the peaceful effect of acupuncture merely a pleasant bonus, but I believe it’s often much more instrumental in the overall outcome than people realize. How often do we stop, rest, and drop all of our concerns? It can be akin to the benefit of a session of deep meditation. The alleviation of stress and a nervous system “reset” is no small thing, especially when stress is the root cause of so much pain.
That said, I find that many patients honestly aren’t concerned with a holistic treatment, and that’s fine. They want a practitioner who will get right into the painful area and work the hell out of it. It might be intense and they might feel beat up afterwards, but there’s a time and place for this kind of work if it’s effective. Personally, I don’t mind receiving aggressive treatments. Occasionally they’ve been miraculous (other times they’ve left me temporarily crippled with no relief). And of course, if the pain itself is one’s primary stressor, one could argue that getting rid of the pain should be a higher priority than alleviating stress (though we don’t have to choose one or the other). In my experience it’s a slight minority of acupuncturists who work this way, while it’s quite common for a physical therapist.
Whew! That was a long-winded exploration of this topic. I thought about removing parts of this article to shorten it, but having had this conversation so many times, I’ve found that many people are curious about all the facets of this subject. I hope I offered some clarity.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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[post_content] => Last week I shared a quote from spiritual teacher Jiddu Krishnamurti: “Do you want to know my secret? I don’t mind what happens.” Then we looked at the differences between an absolute spiritual truth and the relative perspective of most humans. When we encounter an absolute view that we haven’t personally realized and experienced, sometimes it doesn’t make sense or it even has the opposite effect of what was intended.
If we imagine “I don’t mind what happens” to mean “nothing bothers me,” this contradicts most people’s daily experience. But it fits right in with a common perception when we’re evolved or enlightened we’ll be imperturbable. So, without having realized the absolute truth, we might apply it to our relative experience in a way that amounts to denying our humanity.
Buddhist psychologist and author, John Welwood, who coined the term “spiritual bypass,” explained that we have a tendency to use absolute truths of spirituality to dismiss “relative human needs, feelings, psychological problems, relational difficulties, and developmental deficits.” He believed we need to recognize “two different tracks of human development— which we might call growing up and waking up, healing and awakening, or becoming a genuine human person and going beyond the person altogether.”1 Thus, it’s possible to resolve all our psychological problems without achieving a spiritual awakening, and it’s possible to wake up spiritually and still have a highly dysfunctional personality.
So, what is the place of such statements of absolute spiritual truth? In my opinion it’s still useful to expose ourselves to them. We shouldn’t confuse the destination with the path, and we shouldn’t expect ourselves to be able to embody them at will. But they can still serve as a messenger to the soul. When we encounter a statement like, “I don’t mind what happens,” perhaps it’s like a key that unlocks something within us. Maybe it stirs a place in us that remembers this, beneath the slumbering mind, and begins to initiate an unraveling of what has caused us to forget. Perhaps it inspires us to understand what this means, to experience it directly for ourselves. Perhaps it makes us ask, “What would my life be like if this were true for me?”
Meanwhile, what can you do when you find ourselves minding what happens? You’re in good company. Virtually everyone in the world has times when they mind what’s happening. People in pain, people who are afraid, people who are lonely or grieving, people who can’t fall asleep, people witnessing violence or injustice . . . most of them mind what’s happening. So here are some options.
Option one is to suffer. Highly unpleasant but very popular.
Option two is to change something external. Sometimes this is possible and useful, other times it isn’t. If you mind that you’re getting bitten by mosquitos, you could put on bug spray. If, on the other hand, you mind that your government is corrupt, you may not be in a position to significantly improve it, especially if you have a busy life and don’t plant to change careers.
This is where the famous Serenity Prayer by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr is useful – “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” If you can recognize what cannot be changed by you, it may be easier to let go of the belief that they are your business. If you’re not currently engaged with it, don’t mind it. That is, don’t give your mind to it.
Option three is to change something internal. There are several sub-options here. The first is to deny that you mind what you mind. The main way we do this is through willful ignorance. We often employ willful ignorance as a coping mechanism simply because we can’t take care of all the things that concern us in the world.
For instance, I have a 60-year-old truck that I take out occasionally to get bales of hay for our alpacas, and the exhaust stinks. I know I’m putting carbon emissions into the atmosphere, and I haven’t yet found a way to fix it. So I have to put it out of my mind (i.e., willfully become ignorant of how I am contributing to climate change) in order to lessen the amount of guilt I feel about it. It’s a mediocre way of dealing with minding what happens.
Another way to deny that you mind what’s happening is through spiritual bypass. That is, you employ a spiritual ideal you haven’t actually achieved as a way of falsely transcending your issues. Welwood explained it as using “spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.”
I think we can agree that denial isn’t the best answer. As a band-aid, it never truly resolves the unsettled feeling that erodes your peace and infringes on your presence.
Another way of changing something internal is to consciously, sincerely explore your relationship with what you mind. Don’t say “I don’t mind” when you do mind. Be honest with yourself. And don’t say, “I shouldn’t mind” when you do mind. Consider this alternative: I do mind, but I am determined not to argue with or depart from reality.
Here we come to what I believe Krishnamurti actually meant by “I don’t mind what happens.” I don’t believe he meant that nothing could bother him. I think he meant that, regardless of what happens, he doesn’t see reality as wrong or feel it should be different. If someone were to come at him with a knife, perhaps he would have found himself knocking the knife out of their hand. This wouldn’t mean that he “minds what happens,” only that he chose to act. Whether he acted or remained entirely passive to an attack, either one would affect the course of events, so neither constitutes “minding” more than the other.
But let’s bring this back to an application for someone who hasn’t yet realized the absolute truth of not minding what happens. First, there is a difference between minding what is currently occurring here and now versus minding something that is neither. The latter is what I mean by “departing from reality.” If it’s not currently happening, see if you can bring yourself back into the present experience.
There is also a difference between minding something but accepting it versus minding something and insisting that it shouldn’t be happening. “Shouldn’t be happening” is an exercise in futility. It’s an argument against reality. Removing your resistance from the equation (to something that cannot be changed by resisting it!) reduces your suffering; and it doesn’t mean you don’t care or that you’re giving up.
Jesuit priest and author Anthony de Mello defined enlightenment as absolute cooperation with the inevitable. This is the opposite of resistance and a necessary first step before diving deeper into your relationship with what you mind.
Diving in is acceptance in action. Generally, you must set aside time and space for this. It entails meeting the inner discord with sincerity, being willing to see, hear, feel, and understand it in its entirety. It also entails a willingness to recognize how the conflict degrades you and limits your freedom. Try to maintain an attitude of openness and innocence throughout the process. This work can unravel long-held beliefs and patterns of constraint. It can enable you to move forward with constructive action, if that’s what you choose. And it can facilitate an expansion from your relativistic thinking about the issue to a more transpersonal perspective. This may not always get you to a place where you can honestly say, “I don’t mind what’s happening,” but it will bring greater clarity and peace to your experience of it.
Be well,
Peter
1Fossella, T., 2011. Human Nature, Buddha Nature: An Interview with John Welwood. [online] Tricycle: The Buddhist Review. Available at: <https://tricycle.org/magazine/human-nature-buddha-nature/> [Accessed 27 April 2022]. Welwood cautioned, “When we are spiritually bypassing, we often use the goal of awakening or liberation to rationalize what I call premature transcendence: trying to rise above the raw and messy side of our humanness before we have fully faced and made peace with it.”
[post_title] => It's Okay to Mind What Happens
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[post_content] => I love cookies of all kinds. At times my wife or kids have made a batch of cookies and – after they each tried one – I quietly finished off all the rest. So I know a thing or two about restraint and lack thereof. Last week I wrote about smoking and a process for making quitting easier. Today let’s look at how we can adapt this process for a healthier relationship with food.
Often we eat in a way that’s out of sync with what’s best for the body (and mind). The most prevalent example is overeating – i.e., eating beyond the point at which we’re no longer hungry. We do this for many reasons: because the food is tasty, because we were taught to empty our plate, because we don’t want to waste food or insult the cook, because of biological mechanisms designed to protect us against famine, or because we’re simply eating on “autopilot.”
Another example is low quality foods. High sugar foods, for example, can suppress the immune system, cause excessive weight gain, promote inflammation, and lead to insulin resistance (type 2 diabetes). Deep fried foods have similar impacts – promoting inflammation and contributing to cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, obesity, and cancer. I won’t list all the examples here, but if it’s highly processed, contains artificial colors and flavors, white flour, chemical preservatives, or was purchased at a gas station, it probably falls into this category.
Other foods may be essentially benign but not good for a given individual because of a personal sensitivity. Since starting to treat people in the late 90s, I’ve seen a huge increase in patients’ awareness of the foods they’re sensitive to. On the whole this is a great thing, though it’s not always easy for people to avoid these foods – even knowing they’ll feel bad later.
For what it’s worth, I try not to entirely forbid any foods, because of the repercussions of setting up a system of deprivation and rebellion. Besides, we can only maintain discipline for so long. Our willpower wanes when we’re tired, hungry, or stressed. And we all occasionally find ourselves in dining situations where there simply aren’t healthy options.
I believe there’s a time and place for almost any food – including cheesecake and French fries – as long as we practice moderation and mindfulness. When these foods constitute a significant portion of our diet, and/or we’re experiencing negative impacts from consuming them, and/or we can’t control ourselves, this should tell us that something needs to change.
For the bulk of our history as a species, food scarcity was one of our main challenges. Now, in much of the world, this has been replaced by the challenge of restraint.
Healthy restraint with food can be as challenging as dealing with a smoking addiction or alcoholism. At least a smoker or alcoholic has the option of entirely removing cigarettes and alcohol from their life. But we’re obligated to keep eating. The closest equivalent we can exercise is to remove from our cupboards the foods that we have the most difficulty with.
Furthermore, almost everyone has beliefs and baggage wrapped up around food and body image, which complicates our relationship with eating. My purpose today isn’t to completely unpack this whole topic, but to just address one aspect of the pattern – restraint around eating in a way that we know isn’t good for us.
Here are seven steps you can take to feel clearer and stronger about what you feed your body:
1: Setting the stage and loving yourself. Make it easy for yourself to succeed and harder for yourself to overeat, to eat unconsciously, or to eat foods that aren’t good for you. These choices are about avoiding or cleaning up the environments that promote poor eating habits; setting some basic ground rules for yourself – except we’re not going to call them rules, but basic standards; honoring the process of nourishing yourself; and remembering that you are worth treating yourself well.
Eat only in a proper dining setting – not at your desk, not in front of a TV, not while driving, not between meals, not while in a meeting – you’re better than that. Get the junky stuff out of your house. Don’t go to fast food restaurants. Tell your coworkers you’re not eating that stuff anymore, so please don’t even offer you a cupcake – you’re better than that too! Bring your own lunch. Eat a healthy meal before the party. Don’t hang out by the food table.
2: Use empowering language. Instead of telling yourself, “I can’t eat that donut” or “I shouldn’t eat those French fries,” use verbiage that conveys power and choice. Some examples: “I don’t eat garbagey foods. I don’t put that crap in my beautiful body. I choose to be a healthy eater. I choose to love myself so much that I only eat really high quality food. I don’t overeat. I choose to stop eating before I’m full. I feel great when I feed myself well.”
3: Slow down and breathe. Slowing down the eating process makes it easier to perceive when you’ve had enough, and also to feel if your body doesn’t like what or how you’re eating. Before you eat something you know isn’t great for you, take at least one deep breath. You’re creating space so that the behavior isn’t automatic and unconscious.
4: Tune in to the underlying feeling. If you’re wanting to eat something unhealthy, or to continue eating even though you know you’re not hungry anymore, tune in to the feeling that’s urging you to do this. Just take a moment to visit it. If it helps, tell yourself, “You can still have the treat afterwards. We just going to do this first.” Often this feeling is below your radar and you respond to it unconsciously by eating and eating. Let’s make it conscious. Drop into your body and feel what’s happening. What does it feel like? An anxious, unsettled feeling? An empty, yearning feeling? Numbness? Whatever you feel, see if you can simply be with it for a moment, without any resistance. Let yourself feel it fully. Take a breath into it. Allow it to pass through you and depart. What happens? Even if you still eat the food in question, this is nonetheless a useful process.
5: Ask your body. If you’re on the verge of eating in an unhealthy way, just take a second to ask inwardly, “How do you feel about my eating this?” Then feel and listen for the response. Maybe you won’t perceive anything, but maybe you’ll feel a very clear, “No thanks” or “I’m good” or “Sure!” or “Please don’t.” I know you haven’t always loved the way your body has looked and felt and performed for you, but consider being friends with it and honoring its feelings about what’s best for it.
6: Give all your attention to the act of eating. It would be excellent if we could all give our full attention to the act of eating throughout every meal. Eating mindlessly doesn’t just make us prone to doing something that’s not good for us, it also means we’re missing out on fully enjoying the food and missing out on the beautiful, sacred, self-loving act of feeding ourselves and connecting to the fruitful earth that provided it.
It’s especially useful to give your full attention to the act when you’re knowingly eating in a way that’s not ideal for you. Let’s say you decide to have some chocolate mousse. You know it’s not a health food, but it’s going to be incredibly delicious, and sometimes that’s a worthwhile tradeoff, because savoring deliciousness has some value too. This only makes sense, of course, if you’re going to be fully present for the deliciousness experience. Enjoy the hell out of it. Don’t speak. Don’t listen to anything but your own chewing and moaning. Don’t go fast.
7: Let go of the guilt. I know it’s easier said than done, but let’s not add insult to injury. Guilt is the worst thing you can sprinkle over your meal. I believe that feelings of guilt, shame, and self-hate have a tangible impact on what happens to that food after you’ve eaten it. You’re not going to digest it as well, be nourished as thoroughly, or clear out the waste as efficiently if you’re in emotional upset about it. If you’re feeling heavy afterwards, take at least a moment to forgive yourself.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because it’s SO freakin’ scrumptious.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because you’re stressed and eating is soothing.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because your ancestors didn’t have enough to eat and wired you to eat as much as you could when you had the chance.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because you’re upset with yourself or displeased with your body.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because it makes you feel more in control.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way to get back at people who have mistreated you or objectified your body.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because you’re upset with the world for telling you to look like an ideal that’s only possible for a small portion of the population.
It’s understandable that you would eat this way, because you feel deprived or lonely or sad or ungrounded or empty or anxious.
All of this is understandable. AND, you know that there are healthier ways to feel better than by taking it out on your body. Ask your body to forgive you for not always treating it well. Thank your body for being the vehicle that has made this incredible life possible. Take ownership of your body. Forgive your body. Love your body.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Seven Steps for Managing the Habit of Unhealthy Eating
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