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If you’ve ever done something reactionary, without thinking it through, there was a certain element that spurred you to act even though you might not have been aware of it. If you have an addiction, or simply find yourself repeating a behavior even while knowing it isn’t good for you, this element is there as well. It’s also there when you procrastinate. And when you avoid certain people. And when you dodge uncomfortable conversations. And it inevitably plays a central role in every case of anxiety or depression.
The element I’m speaking of is feelings. And although it might sound obvious to say, “Feelings play a central role in unhappiness,” I believe that most unhappy people rarely have an intentional meeting with those feelings. Whether recognized or not, their presence moves us to act – and to avoid acting. They dramatically alter our experience of life and our perspective of the ourselves and the world.
Rather than labeling them as good or bad, I think it’s more meaningful to look at how much freedom do you have in your relationship with a given feeling?
I often ask people about their feelings, especially when the feelings seem to be in control. Specifically, I inquire about the physical experience they’re having. Frequently they report that they can’t perceive anything. Despite the fact that there’s a feeling that’s strong enough to prompt them to, say, gobble up a bag of candy faster than they can stop themselves, the felt sense of that feeling can be hard to pin down. I guarantee it’s there though, and exploring it is likely to help unravel this behavior pattern.
We’re not apt to address our unpleasant feelings directly because, well, they’re unpleasant. Maybe we believe that willingly experiencing them would be more unpleasant than distracting ourselves from them or blocking them out. Furthermore, we learn early that other people disapprove of our anger and fear, and usually there’s no wise guidance for managing these feelings. So we develop the skill of stuffing them or becoming numb. When we look at trends in violence, it’s clear that boys, in particular, are expected to learn this skill and that it often fails miserably.
Actually it fails for everyone, eventually. Not acknowledging our feelings doesn’t neutralize them. It makes them toxic.
I know that an exploration of your negative emotions, many of them associated with traumatic events, doesn’t sound like a good time. It’s work. Perhaps even painful work. But it’s supremely worthwhile work. It’s like digging out a deep splinter. You know it’s not good to let it fester in there, and maybe it’s gotten so tender and swollen that you can’t get it all at once. However, there’s a certain strength that comes from knowing you’re finally doing what needs to be done. And it doesn’t have to be a grim process; you’re not going to be less effective by bringing humor, gentleness, and self-love to this work.
You will probably discover at times that your feelings are more complicated than you thought. Dr. Les Greenberg, the main developer of Emotion-Focused Therapy, explains that we have primary emotions and secondary emotions. Our primary emotions arise in the instant that an unpleasant thought or experience occurs, and they usually make us feel vulnerable or exposed. Thus, they’re often quickly and powerfully veiled by a secondary emotion (like anger, indignation, resentment, etc.) that feels less vulnerable. Greenberg describes primary emotions as “less rapid and less action-oriented” than secondary emotions. He says if we only address our secondary or surface emotions, the primary emotion remains and is likely to trigger new secondary emotions in future conflicts. With a spirit of curiosity and trust, you can go deep and get acquainted with these neglected parts of your shadow-self, bringing them into the light.
While reading the beginning of this article, perhaps you thought, “But these are all cases of being moved by negative feelings. What about positive feelings? Aren’t they one of the best parts of life? Can they run us, too?” Yes, they are one of the best parts of life. And no, they can’t run us in the same way. I have to choose my words carefully on this topic, because it’s easy to start thinking of certain emotions as good and others as bad, some as desirable and others as undesirable, and the truth is more nuanced than that. Again, what’s most important is how we relate to our emotions.
In most basic terms, negative emotions are a message that some form of conflict, resistance, or discord is occurring, and positive emotions indicate an experience of alignment, accord, or harmony. I know that sounds like good and bad, but how about we look at it this way: the Low Oil light on your dashboard indicates the potential for imminent friction and damage to your engine. Does that make the Low Oil light a bad thing? Would you prefer to put a piece of tape over it so you don’t have to see it? Auto makers would argue that this light, the equivalent of a negative emotion, is a very good thing as long as we respond to it appropriately.
It’s kind of like the Hot/Cold game, where someone tells you you’re getting closer to some treat by saying “warmer” (i.e., a positive emotion) or further away from it by saying “colder” (i.e., a negative emotion). Hot and Cold stand to be equally useful. But imagine how the game would go if, upon hearing the other player say, “colder,” you just shut down. Or you said, “I can’t do anything right!” Or, “Why do you always have to attack everything I do?!” When we behave this way in the presence of negative emotions, the whole game ends. But when we remain open, the prize is our freedom – even if it takes years to find that treat.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
P.S. I don’t mean to confuse the issue, but I feel it’s worthwhile to share a few words of non-dual perspective on the subject (garnered from several spiritual traditions). Within this dualistic world, it makes perfect sense to treat negative and positive emotions as two sides of the same coin. Or as two sides of the same mountain – the light side and the shadow side. Neither is more valid or real than the other.
But as we begin to have experiences of expanded consciousness – an awareness that transcends our everyday consciousness – positive and negative feelings may take on new meaning. If we define positive feelings as those that offer greater freedom, deeper peace, union with truth and love, these are (as I see it) an indication of alignment with our Highest Self (or God, or our Authentic Self, or Dao, or Buddha, or whatever other term you like).
The non-dual perspective is that there is no opposite to this state. That is, this (love/truth) is reality, and the negative feelings and suffering that so define the human experience emerge from our immersion in an illusion, a state of forgetfulness in which love is conditional, anything of value is bound to be lost, and we must out-compete each other for happiness. Therefore, as we expand beyond our ego-dominated awareness, negative emotions may be seen as indicators that we’ve become re-immersed in the illusion, or that our ego is attempting to regain control over our consciousness. And positive feelings (as defined above) show us that we’re in the flow, that we’re expanding, or that we’re choosing love.
While the perspective of Classical Chinese Medicine isn’t non-dual per se, it takes a similar view of classifying negative and positive emotions as fundamentally different things. The five basic “sentiments” – joy, contemplation, wonder, reflection, and vigor – are qualities we’re experience continually when we’re healthy. In contrast, the five primary negative emotions – anger, fear, joylessness (or mania), worry, and grief – are considered to be signs of imbalance. (However, if we’re able to accept and experience them readily, allowing them to move through us without resistance, this is not considered unhealthy. It’s only when they occur in an extreme or prolonged way that they become toxic.)
Finally, while we can be guided almost equally well by Hot and Cold (i.e., indicators that we’re becoming more aligned and less aligned with our truth), ultimately, we can’t be shown the whole way home through expressions of the Cold end of the spectrum (i.e., “you’re going the wrong way!”). Expect to encounter discomfort and difficulty – they don’t mean you’re on the wrong path – but if you make your choices from love rather than fear, you should also expect that increased freedom, peace, love, and joy will light the way for you.
[post_title] => Once More with Feeling
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This month’s theme is one of my specialties: pain management. There’s so much I could write about dealing with pain, but the fact is the approaches that are of greatest benefit to most people don’t need much explanation. As with most simple things, they’re easy to dismiss because we put so much value on complexity. Now that we have mapped out the human genome and can control the weather with our iPhones, who’s going to believe that the simple approach is the best?
Interestingly, many of the complex health-related developments don’t entail much involvement by the user. Just swallow this pill, which is the culmination of years of work by people much, much smarter than you. The simple interventions, on the other hand, often represent more work and/or lifestyle change by the user, but by the same token, they stand to heal you in a way that few pills could.
Now, let’s get down to business. I’d like to teach everyone to understand the meaning of pain from the perspective of Chinese Medicine. One of the most fundamental principles of this medical system is that all pain is due to some form of stagnation. When things move freely we feel good, and when they don’t we feel bad.
If we overeat and food is stagnant in our digestive tract, it feels bad. If blood stops moving through the vessels in our heart, it feels bad. If our muscles are irritated and taut (i.e., stagnant), they feel bad. If a joint is damaged and inflamed (stagnation again), it feels bad. If we broke up with someone but we keep fantasizing about them or replaying our conversations, this is mental and emotional stagnation, and it feels bad. If we’re attached to life being a certain way but it’s not that way, and we don’t accept it, it feels bad. Guess why. No matter what kind of pain you’re in, restoring healthy movement or flow will make you feel better.
Now for three important sub-principles. First, all parts of us are interconnected, so stagnation on one level can readily lead to stagnation on another level. For example, if we’re chronically angry, tense, or sad (emotional stagnation) this can eventually show up as, say, a tension headache or lower back pain (physical stagnation). Vice versa, living in a tight and inflexible body (physical stagnation) can contribute to a lack of mental flexibility – rigid thinking, frustration, depression, etc. Physical stagnation is easier to cure in this case, as emotional stagnation needs not just a treatment, but also your willing to get well. There is the natural product that can help to reduce stress and improve your emotional state. Go to cbdforsure.com for more info on this product and its medical effect.
Second, clearing stagnation on any level tends to promote healthy flow on all levels. For instance, physical exercise is beneficial for depression, because moving the body moves the mind. Likewise, using the mind to imagine energy and blood coursing freely through a painful area of the body can often be as effective as painkillers. For the same reason, if we’re in physical pain, it is always worthwhile to look inward and see if there’s some story or emotional pattern we need to let go of.
Third, you can’t argue with reality. Resistance produces stagnation. So, resisting pain doesn’t help. Acceptance does. Accept your pain (and everything else) and let it go.
Almost everything that benefits pain does do by mobilizing stagnation. We’ll explore a handful of the most beneficial interventions this month.
Let’s start by addressing conservative care for injuries. For several decades, the standard has been RICE: Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. All of these tactics are aimed at inhibiting movement, based on the notion that the inflammatory process in injuries is somehow a mistake by the body. We’ve been taught that it’s vital to stop the influx of immune cells that causes swelling. As for Rest, it’s a good idea not to cause more damage, so avoiding activity that could be injurious is smart, but total immobility can slow the healing process. Contracting the muscles around an injured area gets the congested fluid (lymph) moving out of there. Controlled, low impact movement speeds healing.
The use of Ice is the subject of fierce debate. In Chinese Medicine (and thermodynamics), cold is considered a contractive force. It inhibits movement. Therefore, if the goal is to get fresh blood into the area and clear out lymph and particles of damaged tissue, we need to keep the vessels in this area open. Cold constricts vessels, while heat opens them. Cold blocks pain signals, but inhibits healing. In fact, emerging research shows it may contribute to increased tissue death and slower healing. If you really love the refreshing feeling of brief cold application after minor strain (like working or exercise), I don’t think it’s a problem. But for healing pain, heat almost always works better.
Compression is meant to keep an area from swelling, but again, the influx of fresh blood to nourish damaged tissue and the immune macrophages, cells that clean up debris, are beneficial. We don’t want to restrict this response; we just need to keep things moving. Although there are some cases in which compression is useful, I generally advise against it for acute traumatic injuries.
Of the four RICE interventions, I find Elevation the least objectionable. It’s meant to reduce gravity’s contribution to swelling and to improve the return of blood to the heart through veins. The thing is, most of the fluid swelling in trauma is lymph, not blood, and lymph moves through lymphatic vessels, not veins. Gravity alone isn’t going to help much in moving that lymph. Instead, the muscles around these lymphatic vessels need to contract to squeeze the fluid along. Again, this is why controlled, low impact movement is vital.
So, next time you get injured, try slow, low impact movement and heat application. Next week I’ll discuss more strategies for alleviating this and other forms of pain. Stay tuned and keep moving.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => Unlocking Pain
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One of the goals of my work is to find ways to educate people about health in really basic, intuitive ways that they’ll never forget. When I’m teaching about how we’re affected by the stuff we put into our bodies, I like to go over what I call the Foods-Herbs-Drugs Spectrum (or the Foods-Supplements-Drugs Spectrum). My own understanding of foods and drugs has been greatly informed by my background as an herbalist. I feel that traditional systems of herbal medicine offer a valuable perspective on the continuum between foods and medicines.
Sophisticated systems of herbal medicine (Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine in particular) define herbs not just by the medicinal actions they possess – such as diuretic or sedative – but on their nature or energetics. Herbs can be understood based on where they fall on multiple spectrums, such as temperature, moisture, and trajectory. It’s what makes herbs much more than just weak natural substitutes for drugs.
For instance, on the temperature spectrum, an herb can be warming, meaning it literally raises body temperature or otherwise tends to do things like speed up function or metabolism, enhance circulation, or induce sweating. Ginger, chili peppers, wasabi and many other plants have this quality, and people usually have an easy time perceiving it. Then there are cooling herbs, which may do things like reduce fever, clear infections, calm irritation, and suppress inflammation. An herb’s “energetic temperature” can range anywhere from very cold to neutral to very hot.
On the moisture spectrum, there are drying herbs which can be useful for things like eliminating phlegm or reducing edema from the legs. Then there are moistening herbs which are employed for lubricating and soothing dry and irritated membranes, or for hydrating the skin, muscles, hair, and other tissues. There are numerous other characteristics to consider – clearing versus fortifying, calming versus stimulating, and so on – all of which make each herb a complex medicine.
When herbs don’t work or cause negative effects, it’s usually because consumers don’t really understand them. Most laypeople choose herbs based on common symptoms they’re known to treat, but without comprehending the energetics of the herbs or the state of their own body/mind – which may not be compatible. A person with “hot” disorders (acne or other red rashes, irritability, high blood pressure, etc.) probably will not do well with hot herbs. An anxious person probably should avoid stimulating herbs. Otherwise, negative effects, or “side effects” are likely to result.
Foods and drugs can be understood as possessing all of these same properties and risks, except that foods are all relatively close to neutral on any given spectrum, and drugs range much father to the extremes. Vitamins, minerals, amino acids, and other dietary supplements fall mostly within the same range as herbs.
In the diagram above, the left end of the spectrum pertains to substances that are neutral in all characteristics. They have almost no potential for harm, but also almost no potential to fix an imbalance, because they don’t cause much change, and/or the change the cause happens slowly. Rice would be pretty close to the left end of the spectrum.
At the right end of the spectrum are substances that have one or more extreme characteristics. They quickly and drastically change the human body, so they have a high potential to correct an imbalance, but they are so intense in their action that they are inevitably destructive at the same time. A good example would be chemotherapy drugs, many of which work by destroying all cells that are in the process of dividing. This means any tissues that grow or reproduce quickly – from tumors to hair to the lining of the digestive tract – will be affected.
As we move away from the blue (left) end of the spectrum, there is greater potential for both disruption and the correction of imbalance. An important deciding factor is the terrain the substance is introduced to – i.e., your body/mind. As the expression goes, “One man’s meat is another man’s poison.”
The green bar indicates that foods range from completely benign to potentially mildly disruptive or medicinal. (Of course, this doesn’t count food allergies, which could make any food severely “poisonous.”) The yellow bar indicates that herbs and supplements have a very broad range. They can be almost completely neutral or intensely disruptive/medicinal, in some cases approaching the most powerful drugs. Most are somewhere in the middle. The red bar indicates the range of drugs, which go from the fairly benign (TUMS, for instance – which are almost safe enough to hand out on Halloween) to the blatantly poisonous.
Although substances to the left are limited when there is a need to produce a quick and significant change (such as breaking up a clot that has caused a stroke), they are ideal when the goal is to improve or maintain general health or when a problem doesn’t need to be corrected within minutes. If we utilize foods, herbs, and supplements wisely, they can help us avoid getting to a place of such severe imbalance that drugs are our only option (at which point, they may not be able to adequately correct the situation anyway).
Next time I’ll explain more about how foods, herbs, and drugs work, and how to build an understanding of when to best utilize each. Meanwhile, there’s no time like the present to begin paying more attention to how the various things you consume affect you.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => The Foods - Herbs - Drugs Spectrum, Part One
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If you’ve ever done something reactionary, without thinking it through, there was a certain element that spurred you to act even though you might not have been aware of it. If you have an addiction, or simply find yourself repeating a behavior even while knowing it isn’t good for you, this element is there as well. It’s also there when you procrastinate. And when you avoid certain people. And when you dodge uncomfortable conversations. And it inevitably plays a central role in every case of anxiety or depression.
The element I’m speaking of is feelings. And although it might sound obvious to say, “Feelings play a central role in unhappiness,” I believe that most unhappy people rarely have an intentional meeting with those feelings. Whether recognized or not, their presence moves us to act – and to avoid acting. They dramatically alter our experience of life and our perspective of the ourselves and the world.
Rather than labeling them as good or bad, I think it’s more meaningful to look at how much freedom do you have in your relationship with a given feeling?
I often ask people about their feelings, especially when the feelings seem to be in control. Specifically, I inquire about the physical experience they’re having. Frequently they report that they can’t perceive anything. Despite the fact that there’s a feeling that’s strong enough to prompt them to, say, gobble up a bag of candy faster than they can stop themselves, the felt sense of that feeling can be hard to pin down. I guarantee it’s there though, and exploring it is likely to help unravel this behavior pattern.
We’re not apt to address our unpleasant feelings directly because, well, they’re unpleasant. Maybe we believe that willingly experiencing them would be more unpleasant than distracting ourselves from them or blocking them out. Furthermore, we learn early that other people disapprove of our anger and fear, and usually there’s no wise guidance for managing these feelings. So we develop the skill of stuffing them or becoming numb. When we look at trends in violence, it’s clear that boys, in particular, are expected to learn this skill and that it often fails miserably.
Actually it fails for everyone, eventually. Not acknowledging our feelings doesn’t neutralize them. It makes them toxic.
I know that an exploration of your negative emotions, many of them associated with traumatic events, doesn’t sound like a good time. It’s work. Perhaps even painful work. But it’s supremely worthwhile work. It’s like digging out a deep splinter. You know it’s not good to let it fester in there, and maybe it’s gotten so tender and swollen that you can’t get it all at once. However, there’s a certain strength that comes from knowing you’re finally doing what needs to be done. And it doesn’t have to be a grim process; you’re not going to be less effective by bringing humor, gentleness, and self-love to this work.
You will probably discover at times that your feelings are more complicated than you thought. Dr. Les Greenberg, the main developer of Emotion-Focused Therapy, explains that we have primary emotions and secondary emotions. Our primary emotions arise in the instant that an unpleasant thought or experience occurs, and they usually make us feel vulnerable or exposed. Thus, they’re often quickly and powerfully veiled by a secondary emotion (like anger, indignation, resentment, etc.) that feels less vulnerable. Greenberg describes primary emotions as “less rapid and less action-oriented” than secondary emotions. He says if we only address our secondary or surface emotions, the primary emotion remains and is likely to trigger new secondary emotions in future conflicts. With a spirit of curiosity and trust, you can go deep and get acquainted with these neglected parts of your shadow-self, bringing them into the light.
While reading the beginning of this article, perhaps you thought, “But these are all cases of being moved by negative feelings. What about positive feelings? Aren’t they one of the best parts of life? Can they run us, too?” Yes, they are one of the best parts of life. And no, they can’t run us in the same way. I have to choose my words carefully on this topic, because it’s easy to start thinking of certain emotions as good and others as bad, some as desirable and others as undesirable, and the truth is more nuanced than that. Again, what’s most important is how we relate to our emotions.
In most basic terms, negative emotions are a message that some form of conflict, resistance, or discord is occurring, and positive emotions indicate an experience of alignment, accord, or harmony. I know that sounds like good and bad, but how about we look at it this way: the Low Oil light on your dashboard indicates the potential for imminent friction and damage to your engine. Does that make the Low Oil light a bad thing? Would you prefer to put a piece of tape over it so you don’t have to see it? Auto makers would argue that this light, the equivalent of a negative emotion, is a very good thing as long as we respond to it appropriately.
It’s kind of like the Hot/Cold game, where someone tells you you’re getting closer to some treat by saying “warmer” (i.e., a positive emotion) or further away from it by saying “colder” (i.e., a negative emotion). Hot and Cold stand to be equally useful. But imagine how the game would go if, upon hearing the other player say, “colder,” you just shut down. Or you said, “I can’t do anything right!” Or, “Why do you always have to attack everything I do?!” When we behave this way in the presence of negative emotions, the whole game ends. But when we remain open, the prize is our freedom – even if it takes years to find that treat.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
P.S. I don’t mean to confuse the issue, but I feel it’s worthwhile to share a few words of non-dual perspective on the subject (garnered from several spiritual traditions). Within this dualistic world, it makes perfect sense to treat negative and positive emotions as two sides of the same coin. Or as two sides of the same mountain – the light side and the shadow side. Neither is more valid or real than the other.
But as we begin to have experiences of expanded consciousness – an awareness that transcends our everyday consciousness – positive and negative feelings may take on new meaning. If we define positive feelings as those that offer greater freedom, deeper peace, union with truth and love, these are (as I see it) an indication of alignment with our Highest Self (or God, or our Authentic Self, or Dao, or Buddha, or whatever other term you like).
The non-dual perspective is that there is no opposite to this state. That is, this (love/truth) is reality, and the negative feelings and suffering that so define the human experience emerge from our immersion in an illusion, a state of forgetfulness in which love is conditional, anything of value is bound to be lost, and we must out-compete each other for happiness. Therefore, as we expand beyond our ego-dominated awareness, negative emotions may be seen as indicators that we’ve become re-immersed in the illusion, or that our ego is attempting to regain control over our consciousness. And positive feelings (as defined above) show us that we’re in the flow, that we’re expanding, or that we’re choosing love.
While the perspective of Classical Chinese Medicine isn’t non-dual per se, it takes a similar view of classifying negative and positive emotions as fundamentally different things. The five basic “sentiments” – joy, contemplation, wonder, reflection, and vigor – are qualities we’re experience continually when we’re healthy. In contrast, the five primary negative emotions – anger, fear, joylessness (or mania), worry, and grief – are considered to be signs of imbalance. (However, if we’re able to accept and experience them readily, allowing them to move through us without resistance, this is not considered unhealthy. It’s only when they occur in an extreme or prolonged way that they become toxic.)
Finally, while we can be guided almost equally well by Hot and Cold (i.e., indicators that we’re becoming more aligned and less aligned with our truth), ultimately, we can’t be shown the whole way home through expressions of the Cold end of the spectrum (i.e., “you’re going the wrong way!”). Expect to encounter discomfort and difficulty – they don’t mean you’re on the wrong path – but if you make your choices from love rather than fear, you should also expect that increased freedom, peace, love, and joy will light the way for you.
[post_title] => Once More with Feeling
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