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[post_date] => 2023-05-11 21:19:32
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I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about the prevalence of life coaches and other professionals who aim to guide others toward reaching their goals or finding psycho-spiritual wellness. He was feeling concerned that there has been a certain commodification of personal growth. While I agreed that this is one facet of how we’ve treated personal growth, I believe that on the whole the notion that we can change who we are has been good for us.
The fundamental issue is that humans suffer. We feel overwhelmed, lost, fearful, confused, alone, angry, sad, etc. This suffering has been compounded by a trend toward disconnection from our foundations. Overall, humans have less of an everyday connection to nature, spirituality, and other humans than in the past. So, there has always been a need for help, and this need has become more acute recently.
Meanwhile, there has also been a trend in the last several decades toward more open discussion on the human psyche, spirit, and potential. We’re freer than ever to speak about our thoughts and feelings, and we explore perspectives from other cultures. We’re more willing than previous generations to see things in a new way, update our customs, change careers, and become someone different than we’ve been. Thus, more than ever we have people who feel a calling to assist others in these ways. Do they deserve to be compensated for their help? I say yes.
The ubiquity of such helpers is a good thing. There are a lot of people needing help. Further, the prevalence of such guides has made everyone up their game. No longer is an exotic outfit or accent qualification enough to be a guru. Consumers are more savvy. And a wonderful byproduct of the expansion of the personal growth field is that it’s not limited to a particular socioeconomic class. There is an incredible abundance of free and cheap resources out there – articles, podcasts, books, videos, and support groups.
If you are able to work one-on-one with a coach you resonate with, there are lots of good reasons to do it:
Accountability: Often we don’t hold ourselves accountable for what we say we’re going to do and who we say we want to be. Having someone else to track us and remind us to stay on course is often all it takes for us to follow through.
Wisdom: A great coach has learned some things, and many can tap into a repository of wisdom that goes well beyond their personal experience.
Holding Space: A good coach knows how to hold a container in which their clients can safely experience whatever they’re struggling with, explore and unravel their challenges, and find their way to healing, growth, and evolution.
Seeing Your Patterns of Dysfunction: One of the most useful functions a coach can serve is pointing out what you can’t see, like the way you keep sabotaging good jobs, or how to don’t maintain healthy boundaries in relationships. We can’t fix what we don’t see.
Seeing Your Light: Often we have no problem seeing what’s “wrong” with us; the real hurdle is seeing what’s right. A good coach is there to point out your gifts, your value, your potential, and all the ways you’re managing with grace.
Hand Holding: While this is a role many a good friend has performed, it’s another thing coaches can do for us. Sometimes we know where we want to go, we know what we need to do, but we just feel intimidated. Having someone hold our hand through it may feel like a silly thing to ask for, but if it gets us to do what we’re here to do, it’s an invaluable service.
Wishing you the guide who will coax out your greatness,
Peter
[post_title] => Six Ways a Coach Can Help You Reach Your True Potential
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When I was quite young, my family experienced a “health revolution.” As my mother learned more about holistic health and how to take care of her body naturally, she began to change the way our family ate. We had always been an active family, so it seemed that diet was the missing component for us.As I look back, I can see how huge of a gift my mother gave us. In the 80s and 90s, Handi Snacks’ “Crackers and Cheez” were all the lunchbox rage, and I had apples and pears instead. She also taught me the value of valuing myself and taking care of myself.
My mother is one of the hardest workers I know. My father became seriously ill, leaving mom to be the sole provider for our family. She brought home the bacon (figuratively), but also provided for her family emotionally as well. I still remember watching her deal with the stress of owning her own business, juggling sports practice and doctors appointments and being in awe that one woman could do so much. I also remember her making a point of taking the time to get her nails done. It seemed like such an insignificant thing to do, and I think that sometimes she felt guilty spending that time and money on herself, but she needed it. It was a small way to help her relax and feel good about herself.
After college, I started a career in interior design. I loved what I did and how it allowed me to utilize the creative part of my brain, but my heart wasn’t in it. After a short stint in Europe, I started over and began a new career in retail management. I loved helping people feel good about themselves and choose beautiful clothing, but I wasn't quite there yet.
Now, I feel so honored to be a part of The Dragontree where I get to help facilitate healing, rest, and renewed energy for others in my community of Boulder. I enable others to feel good about their bodies, relax, and love themselves and others more. It is surreal sometimes that I get paid to do this. I am so thankful for the journey that has lead me here. I am grateful to have a mother who taught me the foundation of healthy living and how to take care of myself. I am thankful to have worked with so many creative colleagues (and clients!) and impact their lives in a positive way. I can see how there were so many different events that happened in my life to prepare me for the role I play today.
I am so excited to help make Boulder a more peaceful place through The Dragontree Spa. I could not be more blessed to work with such an amazing, talented, caring staff and am ecstatic to see what the future holds!
Editors note: The Boulder Weekly is doing Best of Boulder! We would so appreciate it if you could take the time to
vote for The Dragontree for best: massage, acupuncture, skin care, day spa and bath and body shop. Thank you! thank you! Thank you!
Vote here:
http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/1514815/Best-of-Boulder-Survey-2014
[post_title] => Meet Charity, our Boulder Spa Director
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One of the goals of my work is to find ways to educate people about health in really basic, intuitive ways that they’ll never forget. When I’m teaching about how we’re affected by the stuff we put into our bodies, I like to go over what I call the Foods-Herbs-Drugs Spectrum (or the Foods-Supplements-Drugs Spectrum). My own understanding of foods and drugs has been greatly informed by my background as an herbalist. I feel that traditional systems of herbal medicine offer a valuable perspective on the continuum between foods and medicines.
Sophisticated systems of herbal medicine (Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine in particular) define herbs not just by the medicinal actions they possess – such as diuretic or sedative – but on their nature or energetics. Herbs can be understood based on where they fall on multiple spectrums, such as temperature, moisture, and trajectory. It’s what makes herbs much more than just weak natural substitutes for drugs.
For instance, on the temperature spectrum, an herb can be warming, meaning it literally raises body temperature or otherwise tends to do things like speed up function or metabolism, enhance circulation, or induce sweating. Ginger, chili peppers, wasabi and many other plants have this quality, and people usually have an easy time perceiving it. Then there are cooling herbs, which may do things like reduce fever, clear infections, calm irritation, and suppress inflammation. An herb’s “energetic temperature” can range anywhere from very cold to neutral to very hot.
On the moisture spectrum, there are drying herbs which can be useful for things like eliminating phlegm or reducing edema from the legs. Then there are moistening herbs which are employed for lubricating and soothing dry and irritated membranes, or for hydrating the skin, muscles, hair, and other tissues. There are numerous other characteristics to consider – clearing versus fortifying, calming versus stimulating, and so on – all of which make each herb a complex medicine.
When herbs don’t work or cause negative effects, it’s usually because consumers don’t really understand them. Most laypeople choose herbs based on common symptoms they’re known to treat, but without comprehending the energetics of the herbs or the state of their own body/mind – which may not be compatible. A person with “hot” disorders (acne or other red rashes, irritability, high blood pressure, etc.) probably will not do well with hot herbs. An anxious person probably should avoid stimulating herbs. Otherwise, negative effects, or “side effects” are likely to result.
Foods and drugs can be understood as possessing all of these same properties and risks, except that foods are all relatively close to neutral on any given spectrum, and drugs range much farther to the extremes. Vitamins, minerals, amino acids, and other dietary supplements fall mostly within the same range as herbs.
In the diagram above, the left end of the spectrum pertains to substances that are neutral in all characteristics. They have almost no potential for harm, but also almost no potential to fix an imbalance, because they don’t cause much change, and/or the change the cause happens slowly. Rice would be pretty close to the left end of the spectrum.
At the right end of the spectrum are substances that have one or more extreme characteristics. They quickly and drastically change the human body, so they have a high potential to correct an imbalance, but they are so intense in their action that they are inevitably destructive at the same time. A good example would be chemotherapy drugs, many of which work by destroying all cells that are in the process of dividing. This means any tissues that grow or reproduce quickly – from tumors to hair to the lining of the digestive tract – will be affected.
As we move away from the blue (left) end of the spectrum, there is greater potential for both disruption and the correction of imbalance. An important deciding factor is the terrain the substance is introduced to – i.e., your body/mind. As the expression goes, “One man’s meat is another man’s poison.”
The green bar indicates that foods range from completely benign to potentially mildly disruptive or medicinal. (Of course, this doesn’t count food allergies, which could make any food severely “poisonous.”) The yellow bar indicates that herbs and supplements have a very broad range. They can be almost completely neutral or intensely disruptive/medicinal, in some cases approaching the most powerful drugs. Most are somewhere in the middle. The red bar indicates the range of drugs, which go from the fairly benign (TUMS, for instance – which are almost safe enough to hand out on Halloween) to the blatantly poisonous.
Although substances to the left are limited when there is a need to produce a quick and significant change (such as breaking up a clot that has caused a stroke), they are ideal when the goal is to improve or maintain general health or when a problem doesn’t need to be corrected within minutes. If we utilize foods, herbs, and supplements wisely, they can help us avoid getting to a place of such severe imbalance that drugs are our only option (at which point, they may not be able to adequately correct the situation anyway).
Next time I’ll explain more about how foods, herbs, and drugs work, and how to build an understanding of when to best utilize each. Meanwhile, there’s no time like the present to begin paying more attention to how the various things you consume affect you.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => The Foods - Herbs - Drugs Spectrum, Part One
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I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about the prevalence of life coaches and other professionals who aim to guide others toward reaching their goals or finding psycho-spiritual wellness. He was feeling concerned that there has been a certain commodification of personal growth. While I agreed that this is one facet of how we’ve treated personal growth, I believe that on the whole the notion that we can change who we are has been good for us.
The fundamental issue is that humans suffer. We feel overwhelmed, lost, fearful, confused, alone, angry, sad, etc. This suffering has been compounded by a trend toward disconnection from our foundations. Overall, humans have less of an everyday connection to nature, spirituality, and other humans than in the past. So, there has always been a need for help, and this need has become more acute recently.
Meanwhile, there has also been a trend in the last several decades toward more open discussion on the human psyche, spirit, and potential. We’re freer than ever to speak about our thoughts and feelings, and we explore perspectives from other cultures. We’re more willing than previous generations to see things in a new way, update our customs, change careers, and become someone different than we’ve been. Thus, more than ever we have people who feel a calling to assist others in these ways. Do they deserve to be compensated for their help? I say yes.
The ubiquity of such helpers is a good thing. There are a lot of people needing help. Further, the prevalence of such guides has made everyone up their game. No longer is an exotic outfit or accent qualification enough to be a guru. Consumers are more savvy. And a wonderful byproduct of the expansion of the personal growth field is that it’s not limited to a particular socioeconomic class. There is an incredible abundance of free and cheap resources out there – articles, podcasts, books, videos, and support groups.
If you are able to work one-on-one with a coach you resonate with, there are lots of good reasons to do it:
Accountability: Often we don’t hold ourselves accountable for what we say we’re going to do and who we say we want to be. Having someone else to track us and remind us to stay on course is often all it takes for us to follow through.
Wisdom: A great coach has learned some things, and many can tap into a repository of wisdom that goes well beyond their personal experience.
Holding Space: A good coach knows how to hold a container in which their clients can safely experience whatever they’re struggling with, explore and unravel their challenges, and find their way to healing, growth, and evolution.
Seeing Your Patterns of Dysfunction: One of the most useful functions a coach can serve is pointing out what you can’t see, like the way you keep sabotaging good jobs, or how to don’t maintain healthy boundaries in relationships. We can’t fix what we don’t see.
Seeing Your Light: Often we have no problem seeing what’s “wrong” with us; the real hurdle is seeing what’s right. A good coach is there to point out your gifts, your value, your potential, and all the ways you’re managing with grace.
Hand Holding: While this is a role many a good friend has performed, it’s another thing coaches can do for us. Sometimes we know where we want to go, we know what we need to do, but we just feel intimidated. Having someone hold our hand through it may feel like a silly thing to ask for, but if it gets us to do what we’re here to do, it’s an invaluable service.
Wishing you the guide who will coax out your greatness,
Peter
[post_title] => Six Ways a Coach Can Help You Reach Your True Potential
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I like what you said: “You can control only your own experience.” This is key to resolving conflict. I cannot control the other person’s behavior. You also mentioned “being curious” about the other’s perception and goals. The key to this is to try to state the other’s point of view in a way that he or she says, “Yes, that’s right.” You don’t have to agree with it, you just have to understand it. And encourage the other person to express the same about your perception and goals. Mutually doing this slows down confrontation and speeds up conversation. Thanks for posting this.
Thank you for being so wonderful.
Great thoughtful processes to consider. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your kind words
Great advice. Brilliant and simply put -direct. Thank you. I will definitely take your suggestions forward.
Thank you so much.
Really helpful Brianna. Thanks so much for sharing.