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[post_content] => One of the most gratifying parts of my work is getting to watch people support each other using the concepts we teach in our books and courses (and, of course, their own gifts and experience). There are about 11,000 people in the online groups we established, and witnessing the ways they help each other achieve goals and work through challenges makes my heart swell. Often, someone will post about a dilemma, and the responses that other participants offer are at least as clear and healing as anything I could have come up with.
There are some common stumbling blocks, and one that comes up frequently is the topic of forgiveness. We often view forgiveness as equivalent to giving a gift to someone who wronged us – why would we ever want to do that? And when there’s no obvious offense in one’s history, it can be difficult to grasp what or why we might want to forgive.
As we see it, the need for forgiveness lies in our own freedom. All the hostages we hold in our minds – the unforgiven perpetrators of real or imagined crimes; ourselves, for our past and current mistakes, our imperfect body, our imperfect dietary habits, etc.; the world, for being ugly at times, or corrupt, or unfair, or threatening . . . all of this internal disapproval amounts to a major infringement on our own experience of life. We forgive in order to set ourselves free. And in setting ourselves free, we support others to do the same.
If you’d like some support with forgiveness, Briana is leading a (free) guided forgiveness meditation on the Dragontree Facebook page tomorrow (Wednesday, November 1st) at 4:30 Pacific Time, and I highly encourage you to check it out.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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[post_content] => Last week I wrote about nondual philosophy. It was very brief, but hopefully pointed you in the right direction. It’s hard to convey with words what can only be experienced, but I feel compelled to try. Therefore, this week I’m presenting you with many attempts by people of many different times and cultures. The key is not the specific words they use, but the common experience they’re all pointing at.
In dream you love some and not others. On waking up you find you are love itself, embracing all. Personal love, however intense and genuine, invariably binds; love in freedom is love of all.
- Nisargadatta
Boundary lines, of any type, are never found in the real world itself, but only in the imagination of the mapmakers.
- Ken Wilber
Quite simply, since reality is One, and everything is equally an expression of that one divine Light of Consciousness, every experience by definition is an experience of God ... Now some interpreters of the tradition say, "Everything is God, but some things are more God than others." This is as nonsensical as the famous quote from Animal Farm, "Everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others."
If we propose that some things are more God than others, like concentrated orange juice versus watered-down orange juice, then we must also propose the existence of something that is not God that waters down divinity. But no such thing can be found, at least in this philosophy, because 1) the definition of God here is the unbounded Light of Consciousness, 2) everything that is known to exist is an object of experience, and 3) every experience is by definition pervaded by consciousness.
Therefore, this - whatever is happening right now - is as God as it gets.
Now, if you are in a miserable or banal life situation you may be disappointed by this announcement. But notice I said, "This is as God as it gets," not, "This is as free as it gets." Freedom means actually experiencing the divinity in each moment, which is the same as not wanting the present moment to be any different than it is. When you don’t want any moment to be any different, then you are no longer struggling (or even waiting) for a better situation, and therefore you are free to fully show up for what is actually happening now. Paradoxically, this reveals the inner joy of consciousness, because by not struggling against some part of reality, you see and meet the whole of the moment, and you naturally enjoy it to the maximum extent you are capable of in that moment.
- Christopher Wallis
Kindness is the light that dissolves all walls between souls, families, and nations.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
In the pursuit of Knowledge, every day something is added. In the practice of the Way, every day something is dropped.
- Lao Zi
When you think everything is someone else's fault, you suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.
- Dalai Lama
Whoever knows that the mind is a fiction and devoid of anything real knows that his own mind neither exists nor doesn’t exist. Mortals keep creating the mind, claiming it exists. And arhats keep negating the mind, claiming it doesn’t exist. But bodhisattvas and buddhas neither create nor negate the mind. This is what’s meant by the mind that neither exists nor doesn’t exist.
- from The Zen Teachings of Bodhidharma translated by Red Pine
You could say the whole world is consciousness having taken birth as form, manifesting as form temporarily, and then dying which means dissolving as form. What always remains is the “essence” of all that exists – consciousness itself.
- Eckhart Tolle
And
For no reason
I start skipping like a child.
And
For no reason
I turn into a leaf
That is carried so high
I kiss the sun’s mouth
And dissolve.
And
For no reason
A thousand birds
Choose my head for a conference table,
Start passing their
Cups of wine
And their wild songbooks all around.
And
For every reason in existence
I begin to eternally,
To eternally laugh and love!
When I turn into a leaf
And start dancing,
I run to kiss our beautiful Friend
And I dissolve in the Truth
That I Am.
- Hafiz
It is as if a raindrop fell from heaven into a stream or fountain and became one with the water in it so that never again can the raindrop be separated from the water of the stream; or as if a little brook ran into the sea and there was thenceforward no means of distinguishing its water from the ocean; or as if a brilliant light came into a room through two windows and though it comes in divided between them, it forms a single light inside.
- St. Teresa of Avila
I BELIEVE God is everything. . . Everything that is or ever was or ever will be. And when you can feel that, and be happy to feel that, you’ve found It… My first step from the old white man was trees. Then air. Then birds. Then other people. But one day when I was sitting quiet and feeling like a motherless child, which I was, it come to me: that feeling of being part of everything, not separate at all. I knew that if I cut a tree, my arm would bleed. And I laughed and I cried and I run all round the house. I knew just what it was. In fact, when it happen, you can’t miss it.
- Alice Walker in The Color Purple
Vimalakirti asked Manjusri what was the Buddha’s doctrine of nonduality. Manjusri answered, “The doctrine is realized by one who sees beyond forms and who knows beyond argument. This is my understanding – what is yours?” In response to this question, Vimalakirti closed his lips and was silent.
- Timothy Freke (ed.) in Zen Wisdom
It is not the body, nor the personality that is the true self. The true self is eternal. Even on the point of death we can say to ourselves, “My true self is free. I cannot be contained.”
- Marcus Aurelius
Profound and tranquil, free from complexity,
Uncompounded luminous clarity,
Beyond the mind of conceptual ideas
This is the depth of the mind of the Victorious Ones.
In this there is not a thing to be removed
Nor anything that needs to be added.
It is merely the immaculate
Looking naturally at itself.
- Nyoshul Khenpo Rinpoche
This unity is not mere one-ness as opposed to multiplicity, since these two terms are themselves polar. The unity, or inseparability, of one and many is therefore referred to in Vedanta philosophy as “non-duality” (advaita) to distinguish it from simple uniformity. True, the term has its own opposite, “duality,” for insofar as every term designates a class, an intellectual pigeon-hole, every class has an outside polarizing its inside. For this reason, language can no more transcend duality than paintings or photographs upon a flat surface can go beyond two dimensions. Yet by the convention of perspective, certain two-dimensional lines that slant towards a “vanishing-point” are taken to represent the third dimension of depth. In a similar way, the dualistic term “non-duality” is taken to represent the “dimension” in which explicit differences have implicit unity.
- Alan Watts
I, a universe of atoms, an atom in the universe.
- Richard Feynman
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.
- Carl Jung
Look, my thumb touches my forefinger. Both touch and are touched. When my attention is on the thumb, the thumb is the feeler and the forefinger, the self. Shift the focus of attention and the relationship is reversed. I find that somehow, by shifting the focus of attention, I become the very thing I look at and experience the kind of consciousness it has; I become the inner witness of the thing. I call this capacity of entering other focal points of consciousness, Love; you may give it any name you like. Love says: 'I am everything'. Wisdom says: 'I am nothing.' Between the two my life flows. Since at any point of time and space I can be both the subject and the object of experience, I express it by saying that I am both, and neither, and beyond both.
- Nisargadatta
Love is without a doubt the basis of everything. Not some abstract, hard to fathom kind of love but the day to day kind that everyone knows. The kind of love we feel when we look at our spouse or our children or even our animals. In its purest most powerful form this love is not jealous or selfish but unconditional. This is the reality of realities, the incomprehensibly glorious truth of truths that lives and breathes at the core of everything that exists or will exist. And no remotely accurate understanding of who or what we are can be achieved by anyone who does not know it and embody it in all of their actions.
- Eben Alexander, MD
You make what you defend against, and by your own defense against it is it real and inescapable. Lay down your arms, and only then do you perceive it false.
- A Course in Miracles
My contribution was the title (“One plus one equals one”), which some wise person probably said long before me. From a nondualist’s perspective, two (duality) emerges not from merging oneness with oneness (which just begets oneness), but perhaps from dividing oneness – a separation which can only be accomplished in the illusions of the mind.
Hopefully some of these quotes spoke to you. Admittedly, although these words were drawn from nondual contexts, some of them spoke not to nondual philosophy itself but certain facets of the human experience in a way that I found insightful. Perhaps some rubbed you the wrong way, or confused you, or brought up more questions than answers – all of which are good, in my opinion. Keep challenging your beliefs and feel free to share your thoughts below.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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[post_content] => Getting good at nearly anything requires a certain amount of discipline. At the very least, you need the discipline to practice it on a regular basis. You’d expect this for learning violin or karate, but you might not think you’d need it in order to have a peaceful and positive mind.
And perhaps you don’t. But if it’s a struggle for you to maintain a clear, lighthearted, optimistic outlook – if you find yourself often in bondage to a negative mind that has taken the driver’s seat – I would bet that your mind could use some discipline.
Around age 18, I discovered Carlos Castaneda’s books. In case you’re unfamiliar, Castaneda was a doctoral student at UCLA in the 1960s and 70s who studied the use of magical practices and psychedelic herbs by the Yaqui Indians of northern Mexico. After some detective work, and a few meetings with charlatans, he managed to track down the real deal: a secretive shaman named don Juan Matus. Castaneda was bumbling and boastful, and he tried to impress the shaman with his minimal knowledge of these practices.
Don Juan wasn’t fooled, but he kept Castaneda around because he saw in him the makings of a shaman or nagual. In a relationship similar to that of Daniel and Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid (but much stranger), don Juan put Carlos through rigorous trainings of body and mind, and fed him a variety of powerful hallucinogenic plants.
All of this was fascinating and mind-opening for me at the time, but there was one element of the training that, while less bizarre, was actually more poignant. Don Juan was intent on teaching Carlos to discipline his mind, and whenever Carlos became anxious or depressed, the shaman would admonish him to stop indulging in his mind’s melodrama. As my teenage self read the word indulge, it really cut through me. My late teens had been full of plenty of melodrama, and I couldn’t help wondering if don Juan would have considered it indulgence. It certainly hadn’t felt like I had any choice in the matter, but what if I did?
Thus began a lifetime’s journey to understand the difference between ME and my mind. To discover my power . . . and lose sight of it . . . and rediscover it . . . and lose sight of it . . . and rediscover it. And because I decided to go into medicine, I’ve had the opportunity to witness and assist many others through the same exploration. Central to the process is the recognition of choice. As it pertains to discipline, this means being disciplined to remember you have a choice and being disciplined to repeatedly exercise this power.
When you suggest to someone in the throes of anxiety or depression that there is an element of choice in their psychological experience, it’s not uncommon for them to feel guilty, offended, and defensive. Because the implication, of course, is that they’ve been making things bad for themselves – that it’s their fault.
But the notion of fault can only serve to degrade the process. While the recognition of choice – AKA free will – is empowering, fault is disempowering. It leads us to think things like, “Why would I do this to myself? Why can’t I stop it?” The answer to those questions is, respectively, confusion and habit. Responding to feelings of fault (blame) with forgiveness and compassion for oneself will neutralize it, and this, too, requires discipline.
Throughout, the overarching practice of discipline is to pay attention to where your mind is going, and to not let it get away with taking you to dark or fearful places. And Mr. Miyagi, don Juan, and any Zen monk would probably add, practice the discipline of being deliberate about everything you do.
The life of a Zen monk, if fact, can teach us a lot about discipline. Discipline is not necessarily army boot camp or the One-Grape-a-Day Diet. It doesn’t imply restriction or deprivation as much as a continuous application of attention. (Our attention is more scattered than ever, due to the many things with screens in our lives.) Zen monks are, by and large, carefree and light of heart. And this results from prioritizing what is here and now, what is real, what is precious, over the moody demands of a wayward mind. Such a practice actually works best when guided by love – when you simply care too much about yourself to let your consciousness be degraded by mental bondage.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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[post_content] => One of the most gratifying parts of my work is getting to watch people support each other using the concepts we teach in our books and courses (and, of course, their own gifts and experience). There are about 11,000 people in the online groups we established, and witnessing the ways they help each other achieve goals and work through challenges makes my heart swell. Often, someone will post about a dilemma, and the responses that other participants offer are at least as clear and healing as anything I could have come up with.
There are some common stumbling blocks, and one that comes up frequently is the topic of forgiveness. We often view forgiveness as equivalent to giving a gift to someone who wronged us – why would we ever want to do that? And when there’s no obvious offense in one’s history, it can be difficult to grasp what or why we might want to forgive.
As we see it, the need for forgiveness lies in our own freedom. All the hostages we hold in our minds – the unforgiven perpetrators of real or imagined crimes; ourselves, for our past and current mistakes, our imperfect body, our imperfect dietary habits, etc.; the world, for being ugly at times, or corrupt, or unfair, or threatening . . . all of this internal disapproval amounts to a major infringement on our own experience of life. We forgive in order to set ourselves free. And in setting ourselves free, we support others to do the same.
If you’d like some support with forgiveness, Briana is leading a (free) guided forgiveness meditation on the Dragontree Facebook page tomorrow (Wednesday, November 1st) at 4:30 Pacific Time, and I highly encourage you to check it out.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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My biggest challenge as an adult, isn’t failing to respond from lack of willingness, it’s a failure to respond from not knowing WHICH ONE to respond to. Especially right now, with all the chaos in Washington, and the craziness daily, there are so MANY needs and persons in need that it is a selective act of the will to screen out and select the one (or ones) most important in that moment. I find that it often requires careful thought in order to reach a decision~which can look a lot like inaction in the moment to others. Knowing that inaction only spurs on those who would make the situation worse, I struggle to comprehend how my choice will make a significant difference. But then I see a former student, who excitedly tells me how they are growing and becoming better in English, or help a neighbor, or have a student help me willingly, and I realize that actions often are taken without my forethought, and are just as valid. When laying aside the will, I can shift into the intention of my action, and it will open up which path to choose.
Thanks, Meg, for your insights on this. Yes, there are SO many areas you could direct your loving attention and service. I think you can weigh their merits in an analytical way, or you can just serve in the way you feel naturally guided or inspired. As long as you’re bringing your presence and sharing your gifts, to the degree that you’re capable, you’re doing enough.
This is a timely piece. The fires that are breaking out in the Columbia Gorge were started by minors lighting fireworks during a burn ban.
I think if the mistakes I made when I was a kid and even today those thoughts that someone else is responsible for…fill in the blank.
I don’t have any powerful insights to make here, just noticing.
Thanks, Kristin!
Yes, those kids must feel terrible. A lifetime of guilt won’t help anyone, and sure won’t bring back what burned. But with the right guidance and support, they could end up being champions for wildlife preservation, or forest management, or fire mitigation, etc.
I hope you’ve been well.
Peter
A wise mentor taught me to ask, “Does this have MY name on it?” This helps for big choices of where to put my energies. And sometimes answering that question takes time and you hold the space until the answer is clear.
Other in the moment choices seem to flow from core beliefs and values and can be very revealing about those beliefs. Especially when we are under stress. It is quite possible to have conscious beliefs that conflict with subconscious for beliefs.
Thanks for this article. It expresses well what it means to be an adult!
Thanks, Melody.
Knowing what’s for you to invest your energy into and what isn’t – that’s a great power.
I just do things that “need to be done.” All of the time. Everyday. The problem is that I oftentimes do them instead of caring for myself.
Well, I’m glad you’re getting them done, and hopefully you’re honest with yourself about “need.” The only thing is that caring for yourself should be in the “need” list. Just because you can’t immediately see the consequences of neglect doesn’t mean it’s optional. Care for yourself and the qualities of efficiency and presence you’re able to bring to those other tasks will be much greater.
This spoke right to me. The mindset we each have determines so much!
Thanks, Christa!
I agree that things are not black and white- at all. Raising my children and having to explain in the best way possible, about whatever topic, in an attempt to avoid those burning questions like, “but I thought you said that wasn’t appropriate? Why are they doing it if it’s not appropriate?” Ugh. Raising children in a world of perpetual protests and hate is scary, as is raising them into kind, understanding, non labeling , giving, healthy little members of the community. I think if we are open, we will never cease to grow.
Thanks, Kristen. Yes, it’s one thing to guide your own life, but a very different sense of responsibility and importance to guide another’s.
I was that person you speak of. And, sometime I still can be that person. You know…that one…the one that walks by the garbage so I don’t get my hands dirty. The one that walks by the person with a hand out for fear they may jump me if they see I have more than a dollar in my wallet.
My husband is quite the opposite. He will go into a restaurant. He observes. We eat and chat. Then he politely gets up and comes back. The first time I never even questioned what he was doing. I assumed the rest room. The second and third time, with the rest room in view I followed him with my eyes. He finds someone that is alone, an older couple or single parent and pays for their meal without them knowing. This is how he doesn’t allow the world to steal his joy. He watches their face or slips out of the restaurant before them.
I love that phrase: “Don’t let the world (or anyone) steal your joy”. Rick Murphy
Whatever it may be, and at times I spin in circles looking, find your joy.
I love your RfT and have been reading your work. It calms me. It opens my mind.
It helps me become a better adult. I’ve already acquired bad habits as I grew and now it is time I change them. But, I also know that as slowly as I acquired them it will take time to rid of them…hence Dragontree 🙂
I’m trying to lower my expectations for others and myself.
I’m doing a better job at setting boundaries with others asking more than I am able to give (but usually give anyway – most of the time to my own and my families demise).
I am meditating more.
I am learning to take more time to appreciate the now.
My challenges with being an adult are my issue with germs – picking up random garbage may not be my thing but I do try. My fear of the unknown. Reading and doing the work not to overcome but trying to understand them has helped (again, props to RtF…it came into my life at a great time). My aging body and it’s medical restrictions are my biggest issue and challenge. My mind is also accepting a bit more daily. We could go on but I know others “share my pain” 😉
Thank you for giving us the opportunity not only to read and digest but to respond and think a bit more about what and how we are doing.
Thanks, Kimberly, for all your insights.
It sounds like, despite your challenges, you’re really engaging with a new degree of participation and personal responsibility.
I’m so glad to hear our works have been helpful for you along the way!
Keep up the good work.
Peter
Thank you, Peter. This is very helpful. I, too, feel overwhelmed by all the issues I could address to make the world better. I also tend to want to help others who have problems I can’t “fix.” How can I best be of service to them?
I will remember to start with the plastic bag…the things that I can do right now.
Thanks, Lyn. Yes, the things you can do right now. And often even the small acts, when directed by a clear purpose, when fortified by the offering of your well-recognized gifts, and when magnified by your total presence, can be monumental.