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About 20 years ago, I started thinking about whether my name was right for me. Like most people, I neither loved nor hated it, and I felt it was kind of silly or frivolous to consider changing it. But I wasn’t sure that the name Peter was serving me anymore.
Around that time, I met a Vedic astrologer named Bharat who offered to draw up my chart. Based on the time and place of my birth, he told me my first name should ideally start with the sound “Lo.” It just so happens that my middle name is Logan, which felt like quite a coincidence, and the idea of going by my middle name seemed less eccentric than changing it to something entirely new.
I was acquainted with an elderly woman who had a reputation for knowing what the right name for a person was, so I decided to get her opinion. We were in a dance class together, and after class one day I asked her what she thought about my going by Logan instead of Peter. “Let me think about it,” she replied.
A week later she told me, “If you went by Logan, a part of your personality that comes through with the ‘Pee’ sound in Peter would be lost. And I like that part.”
I trusted her, so I let go of the idea of calling myself Logan, but I continued to feel that I might be limited by my name. There was a growing sense that every time I used this name I was reinforcing the notion that my identity is the history, beliefs, and personality of Peter Logan Borten.
I started to feel differently about people who changed their names as part of a healing process or spiritual awakening. I realized that it must have taken a lot of courage. They risked weirding-out their friends, family, and coworkers for the sake of something more important – their own freedom and potential.
In our advanced level Dragontree Life Coaching training last weekend, we did a day-long process about death. More striking than the fears people had about the death of their bodies was the angst – and liberation – surrounding the death of their ego (including their personal history and all of their stories about themselves).
Part of the process was giving a title to an internal story. Any time you find yourself feeling like a victim, like life is treating you unfairly, or that things aren't going according to the plan, it can be useful to determine if there’s a story that you’re subconsciously participating in and then give it a title. For instance: “I Lost My Only Chance at True Love” or “I Always Hold Back From My True Potential” or “Nobody Respects Me.” There are small stories and big, overarching stories.
Often, we’re unaware of the stories we’ve constructed, but when we come up with a title it's easy to see how much we comply with the narrative. We can be so insistent on the validity of the story that we’re almost compelled to keep playing the tragic main character.
Two of the big questions that came up in our weekend were, “How am I limited by this identity?” and “Who would I be without it?” We avoid abandoning the story because: (1) it means we were “wrong” about this story being true, (2) it means doing something new, unknown, and uncomfortable, and (3) it means letting go of whatever “benefits” we may have derived from perpetuating that story. But I encourage you to take a moment to feel into that second question. What if you were able to let go of all of your stories and identities – who would you be? What would you do? How would life feel?
Our stories are usually attached to the name of the main character. Sometimes the bond is very strong, other times weaker. In many cultures, taking a new name upon beginning a new chapter is an established and culturally acceptable rite, but that’s not often the case in the West. So, do we need to get rid of our name in order to let go of our story?
In my opinion, it’s not essential but for many people it makes liberation and empowerment easier. I can tell you with utter certainty and conviction that I am not Peter Logan Borten. Peter Logan Borten is the name assigned to this body and the personality attached to it, but the name Peter Logan Borten doesn't come close to encompassing my true identity. This is also true for the Being bearing your name. Numerous religions say the same about assigning a name to God. The first line of the Daoist classic, Dao De Jing, is “The Dao that can be named is not the true Dao.”
Even if your name doesn’t feel like a heavy weight, perhaps you can still perceive that you’re less than your Whole, Authentic Self when you’re playing the part of the character who has your name. If so, I recommend doing some journaling on this. Consider these questions:
- How do you feel about your name?
- Who is [insert your name here]?
- What’s one (or more) of your limiting stories?
- When you play the part of [your name] how are you limited?
- Who would you be without this identity?
- How does it feel to consider letting go of your name?
- Is there another name that feels right for you? A name without baggage – and better yet, a name that feels like it would unleash new potential?
If you do feel baggage attached to your current name, but, like most people, you’re not willing to change it, see if you can “cleanse” the name. Imagine you’re deleting all of your name’s “cookies” like you’d do to clear your web browser’s history – release all old perspectives and associations. Or come up with your own process for refreshing that name and making it your own, such as writing it on a piece of paper and burning it; writing it on something washable and immersing it in water; reclaiming it, loving it, breathing new life into it; making art that’s centered around your name, etc.
You could also watch how you introduce yourself, and rather than making your name your identity by saying, for instance, “I AM Peter,” make the subtle change to, “My name’s Peter.” If a name comes to you that would feel fresh and liberating, you can try using it just with yourself, or share it with only those with whom you’re most comfortable.
Notice what happens. Does it feel different when people use your name? Do you feel freer to be yourself when you use a different name or have “cleansed” your current name? Share with us below. Have you changed your name? What was your experience with retiring your given name and choosing a new one?
Be well,
The Being Formerly Known as Peter
[post_title] => A Rose by any other Name would Smell as Sweet
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Later this week Briana and I will be hosting the Illuminator Training – part of Dragontree Life Coaching Program – and we’ll spend four days in a very special space. It’s going to be at our house, and while I think our house is a special physical space, the space I’m talking about here is something different. I really mean that we’ll be in a special state of consciousness – one in which people feel safe to really see themselves and others, to be in loving community, to learn and heal.
I am both proud and humbled to co-create such a space. When I write or talk about it, it’s hard not to feel I’m exaggerating; so much positive change occurs in such a short time. For me, it reinforces the value of what we teach in the course – primarily the value of holding space.
The first handful of times I heard the term “hold space” I regarded it as New Age jargon and didn’t give it serious consideration. Once I was 20-something at a big dance event and the movie Baraka was being projected onto the walls. Amidst beautiful, sometimes haunting imagery, we were taken to an egg factory. There were conveyor belts and metal chutes along which were tumbling thousands and thousands of fuzzy yellow chicks. Attendants casually pulled them out by a wing and then tossed half of them (the males) down a giant funnel (into a grinder). The remainder were de-beaked, and in the next scene they were sickly and missing feathers, crammed into stacks upon stacks of wire cages.
There was a sudden collective moan of sorrow through the crowd. Someone shouted, “Breathe! Hold space for them!” And I thought, “What does that even mean?”
Well, now I know what it means and I think it was good advice – not just to hold space for the chicks, but to hold space for everyone involved. I also think that the term “hold space” is perfect for describing this practice. It’s an art, really. It comes naturally to some people but not most, and many gifted healers, teachers, and guides are skilled at it even if they’ve never heard the term.
Holding space has a few meanings for me. First, it means to become a neutral, benevolent container for what’s happening. That is, hold this moment in your awareness – ideally until some resolution or balance has developed. This entails giving your attention to what’s happening right here, right now and supporting its natural unfoldment.
When we’re holding space, we’re not trying to diagnose, fix anything, or come up with the answer. We’re not trying to be impressive or spiritual, and we’re not hoping to get approval. And we’re not departing from the task at hand to meander into the forest of our own thoughts.
Second, holding space means focusing on and protecting the space itself – maintaining an opening. By space here, I mean the formless consciousness that is the Universe – the matrix from which all objects (things, feelings, ideas) arise. You could also call it God or Undifferentiated Awareness or Spirit. It’s the bulk of the iceberg of reality, while the stuff that tends to get 99.9% of our attention is the very tip. Because space is more ethereal than form, it not only surrounds everything, but also exists within everything.
When we happen upon a moment when our consciousness is on the space (rather than engrossed in its contents), it usually feels good – our stories fall away and we expand into that space (because we are the space!). But the ego doesn’t like it. “Hey! Don’t forget about me!” it yells. “Come back! I’ve got some juicy gossip and some intense fears and a long list of grievances with the world!”
It seems crazy to go back to that – a reality marked largely by conflict and resistance – but we all do it. The ego is hooked up our survival mechanisms and it’s able to produce some compelling thoughts and feelings which shrink our consciousness like a turtle pulling into its shell. “It’s smelly and dark and crowded in here,” some part of us registers, “but it’s familiar.”
So, holding space in the second sense means maintaining the space – staying expanded, bringing in and honoring Spirit. We prevent encroachment upon or eclipsing of that space mainly by abstaining from the compulsion to fill it up with our stuff.
In the case of the chicken scene, it would have been a difficult setting in which to hold space for all the layers needing illumination (from the suffering of innocent creatures, to the knowing that we are complicit in this if we buy chicken, eggs, or pet food, and so on). But there are opportunities for space-holding all the time, and I see the magic of it so clearly at these Illuminator trainings – the magic of a whole room of coaches holding space for one individual to see themselves, heal, and blossom.
Holding space isn’t just for a formal coach-client or healer-patient setting, it’s a practice by which the mundane becomes holy, and we can do it all the time. At first (and sometimes later) it can feel like hard work. It takes discipline to stop thinking and to instead hold your attention on the Now. It takes trust to not intervene or analyze. But it’s deeply rewarding.
When you hold space for someone, even if they don’t know what you’re doing, they tend to experience that spaciousness. There’s more space between their thoughts. There’s a broadening of perspective and they access their resources. They begin to open and heal. Your space-holding is like a bridge that helps them connect with their Higher Self.
You can hold space for anything, for any and every moment. Things that are naturally riveting – like a baby being born – can be easier to hold space for because they’re so uncommon and so obviously miraculous. However, there’s much to be learned and experienced through holding space for the “everyday” – for the blowing of a tree in the breeze, for the dripping of a water faucet, for the barking of a dog. One of the most fundamental yet profound meditative practices is to simply hold space for your own breath. Let’s both hold space for whatever is happening right now for the next thirty seconds.
Mmmm. That was good. It reminded me of something I wanted to tell you: thinking is optional. I know we all have times when we can’t seem to turn off our mind, but just as you can stop talking aloud, you can stop talking inside. It’s an expression of reverence for the space to take a break from talking once in a while.
Be well,
Peter
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We’re about to release the second edition of Rituals for Transformation, so I’ve been writing about the 14 broad themes we cover in the book. Actually, it’s more of a process than a book, with a one-page lesson to read each day, and then the rest of the day to practice the lesson in your life. Let’s continue looking at these “avenues for awakening.”
Forgiveness
There’s so much to say about forgiveness; I’ve written numerous articles about it. Here’s a brief synopsis: The opposite of forgiveness – what we might call resentment or holding grievances or perpetuating inner conflict – is a gigantic impediment to freedom and peace. There’s little, if anything, of greater value than freedom and peace, but we can’t be totally free or peaceful if we’re holding someone or something hostage in our mind.
Most people have much more resentment than they’re aware of. Upon diving in, we usually discover we resent ourselves for all the ways in which we aren’t being who we think we should be, and all the ways we believe we have obstructed our own happiness and success; our bodies for not looking, feeling, or performing the way we think they should; people for not behaving the way we think they should (not just those in our lives, but also politicians, corporations, and the big “they” who pollute, steal, murder, or otherwise make the world less the way we like it); the planet / the Universe / God for letting people die, making earthquakes, wildfires; etc.
Forgiveness is often difficult because we (usually subconsciously) believe that holding onto our grievances will eventually make things better for us – e.g., the world will repent and undo all the suffering it has caused us. It’s just the opposite, though. Withholding forgiveness keeps us trapped in suffering. And true, radical forgiveness is potentially the key to the life of ease and lightness we all want.
Energy Awareness
Some sensitive individuals have an awareness of life energy. This is also true of those who have studied qi gong, tai chi, acupuncture, energy healing, and certain forms of yoga and meditation. They foster an awareness of a dimension of reality that isn’t part of most people’s everyday experience. We believe that such an awareness is gratifying and useful.
When you’re aware of your energy, you can perceive more clearly how you’re influenced by thoughts, foods, and interactions with the world. In this way, you can better understand what supports you and what doesn’t. There’s clarity in being able to recognize what’s affecting to your experience, and power in knowing how to be in harmony with your environment. The lessons in this section are meant to help one cultivate this form of awareness.
Self-Care
When it comes to nurturing ourselves, some of us don’t do any conscious self-care, some approach self-care with a sense of obligation or burden, and some delight in the process. The lessons in this section are intended to help the reader approach it as a sacred and thoroughly enjoyable part of life. This engenders a sense of reverence and gratitude for oneself. It’s an opportunity to slow down and be present. And while such presence, by definition, means doing it for the in-the-moment experience, there are also inevitable benefits to one’s overall life from observing such a practice.
Connection With Nature
Humans are less conscious of Nature than ever before in our existence. It’s easy to live almost entirely indoors, in our minds, and in our little socialized worlds, forgetting how utterly dependent we are on the natural world – and how lost we’d be without it. These lessons are intended to rekindle this connection.
Inviting Nature into our lives does so much for us. It’s a source of constant awe and gratitude. We recognize just how intertwined the web of life is. We see that it provides for us in all ways. We remember that it birthed us. And when we approach it as a student to a teacher, we learn the timeless, balanced Way of the Universe.
I hope the discussion of these themes has whetted your appetite for jumping into this process. We’ve been honored and delighted by all of the stories we’ve heard from users of the book – stories of growth and healing and discovery that go beyond what we could have imagined. If you feel like sharing your thoughts on these themes, or your experience with the book, we’d love to hear from you.
Be well,
Peter
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About 20 years ago, I started thinking about whether my name was right for me. Like most people, I neither loved nor hated it, and I felt it was kind of silly or frivolous to consider changing it. But I wasn’t sure that the name Peter was serving me anymore.
Around that time, I met a Vedic astrologer named Bharat who offered to draw up my chart. Based on the time and place of my birth, he told me my first name should ideally start with the sound “Lo.” It just so happens that my middle name is Logan, which felt like quite a coincidence, and the idea of going by my middle name seemed less eccentric than changing it to something entirely new.
I was acquainted with an elderly woman who had a reputation for knowing what the right name for a person was, so I decided to get her opinion. We were in a dance class together, and after class one day I asked her what she thought about my going by Logan instead of Peter. “Let me think about it,” she replied.
A week later she told me, “If you went by Logan, a part of your personality that comes through with the ‘Pee’ sound in Peter would be lost. And I like that part.”
I trusted her, so I let go of the idea of calling myself Logan, but I continued to feel that I might be limited by my name. There was a growing sense that every time I used this name I was reinforcing the notion that my identity is the history, beliefs, and personality of Peter Logan Borten.
I started to feel differently about people who changed their names as part of a healing process or spiritual awakening. I realized that it must have taken a lot of courage. They risked weirding-out their friends, family, and coworkers for the sake of something more important – their own freedom and potential.
In our advanced level Dragontree Life Coaching training last weekend, we did a day-long process about death. More striking than the fears people had about the death of their bodies was the angst – and liberation – surrounding the death of their ego (including their personal history and all of their stories about themselves).
Part of the process was giving a title to an internal story. Any time you find yourself feeling like a victim, like life is treating you unfairly, or that things aren't going according to the plan, it can be useful to determine if there’s a story that you’re subconsciously participating in and then give it a title. For instance: “I Lost My Only Chance at True Love” or “I Always Hold Back From My True Potential” or “Nobody Respects Me.” There are small stories and big, overarching stories.
Often, we’re unaware of the stories we’ve constructed, but when we come up with a title it's easy to see how much we comply with the narrative. We can be so insistent on the validity of the story that we’re almost compelled to keep playing the tragic main character.
Two of the big questions that came up in our weekend were, “How am I limited by this identity?” and “Who would I be without it?” We avoid abandoning the story because: (1) it means we were “wrong” about this story being true, (2) it means doing something new, unknown, and uncomfortable, and (3) it means letting go of whatever “benefits” we may have derived from perpetuating that story. But I encourage you to take a moment to feel into that second question. What if you were able to let go of all of your stories and identities – who would you be? What would you do? How would life feel?
Our stories are usually attached to the name of the main character. Sometimes the bond is very strong, other times weaker. In many cultures, taking a new name upon beginning a new chapter is an established and culturally acceptable rite, but that’s not often the case in the West. So, do we need to get rid of our name in order to let go of our story?
In my opinion, it’s not essential but for many people it makes liberation and empowerment easier. I can tell you with utter certainty and conviction that I am not Peter Logan Borten. Peter Logan Borten is the name assigned to this body and the personality attached to it, but the name Peter Logan Borten doesn't come close to encompassing my true identity. This is also true for the Being bearing your name. Numerous religions say the same about assigning a name to God. The first line of the Daoist classic, Dao De Jing, is “The Dao that can be named is not the true Dao.”
Even if your name doesn’t feel like a heavy weight, perhaps you can still perceive that you’re less than your Whole, Authentic Self when you’re playing the part of the character who has your name. If so, I recommend doing some journaling on this. Consider these questions:
- How do you feel about your name?
- Who is [insert your name here]?
- What’s one (or more) of your limiting stories?
- When you play the part of [your name] how are you limited?
- Who would you be without this identity?
- How does it feel to consider letting go of your name?
- Is there another name that feels right for you? A name without baggage – and better yet, a name that feels like it would unleash new potential?
If you do feel baggage attached to your current name, but, like most people, you’re not willing to change it, see if you can “cleanse” the name. Imagine you’re deleting all of your name’s “cookies” like you’d do to clear your web browser’s history – release all old perspectives and associations. Or come up with your own process for refreshing that name and making it your own, such as writing it on a piece of paper and burning it; writing it on something washable and immersing it in water; reclaiming it, loving it, breathing new life into it; making art that’s centered around your name, etc.
You could also watch how you introduce yourself, and rather than making your name your identity by saying, for instance, “I AM Peter,” make the subtle change to, “My name’s Peter.” If a name comes to you that would feel fresh and liberating, you can try using it just with yourself, or share it with only those with whom you’re most comfortable.
Notice what happens. Does it feel different when people use your name? Do you feel freer to be yourself when you use a different name or have “cleansed” your current name? Share with us below. Have you changed your name? What was your experience with retiring your given name and choosing a new one?
Be well,
The Being Formerly Known as Peter
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[is_single] =>
[is_preview] =>
[is_page] =>
[is_archive] => 1
[is_date] =>
[is_year] =>
[is_month] =>
[is_day] =>
[is_time] =>
[is_author] =>
[is_category] => 1
[is_tag] =>
[is_tax] =>
[is_search] =>
[is_feed] =>
[is_comment_feed] =>
[is_trackback] =>
[is_home] =>
[is_privacy_policy] =>
[is_404] =>
[is_embed] =>
[is_paged] =>
[is_admin] =>
[is_attachment] =>
[is_singular] =>
[is_robots] =>
[is_posts_page] =>
[is_post_type_archive] =>
[query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => 9c78907dff74d9f4ed092353c4fddca3
[query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] =>
[thumbnails_cached] =>
[stopwords:WP_Query:private] =>
[compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => query_vars_hash
[1] => query_vars_changed
)
[compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => init_query_flags
[1] => parse_tax_query
)
)
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