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When Briana and I were creating the Dragontree Life Coach training program, we had lots and lots of meetings to discuss the curriculum. During one of those meetings I suddenly remembered something that happened in a classroom about 20 years earlier . . .
I was in graduate school for Asian medicine and I was taking a course in a subtle form of healing called Jin Shin Do. It involves touching acupuncture points on a patient’s body with minimal pressure. The idea isn’t to give a massage or manipulate the tissue, but to simply make contact, forming circuits between the points and supporting them to perform their therapeutic functions.
At the same time, I was studying massage, herbal medicine, and acupuncture – modalities where both practitioner and patient could agree that something more “obvious” was being done. In comparison I had some doubts about whether Jin Shin Do would accomplish anything, but I was pleasantly surprised. As the weeks passed and my classmates and I treated each other, we all noticed improvements in our physical and psychological health. And because the intervention was so gentle, there weren’t any side effects.
I was especially amazed at how recipients’ experiences were affected when the practitioners were secretly instructed to hold a certain mental focus during the treatment. For instance, sometimes the instructor would have the practitioners think about what they were going to make for dinner, or about their finances, or to keep the word “love” in mind while touching the recipient.
One focus resulted in the best experiences for the recipients. When the practitioners were told (without the recipients’ knowledge) to hold in mind the phrase “I am here for you,” the recipients reported feeling the deepest relaxation, profound peace, and a sense of trust in the process. (Unsurprisingly, when the practitioners spent the session thinking about dinner or money, the recipients reported that it didn’t feel like the treatment did anything).
Though it was a fleeting experience, it taught me a lot about what humans want and how we can best support each other. When it came to developing the coaching curriculum, this memory shaped our approach. While it may sound great to be able to solve people’s problems for them, often it’s even more supportive to be a steadfast presence for them – to “hold space” so they can safely feel and explore what’s happening for them . . . and discover the solution themselves.
This recognition sometimes comes as a big relief to coaches (or anyone in the healing arts) because it means you don’t have to have all the answers. In fact, I think it’s safe to say you’ll never have them. You can let yourself off the hook.
If you care for people and like to help, if you feel joy from seeing someone grow and develop their superpowers, you can do this. If you’re able to say, “I am here for you,” you’re able to support healing and evolution. And if you’d like some instruction in doing this work – some heart-centered, compassionate, holistic, nature-based, and thoroughly beautiful instruction – please check out our Dragontree Life Coaching Program.
Be well,
Peter
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As long as I’ve been studying health, there’s been an ongoing argument about the role of dairy products in human nutrition. If you do a quick Google search for inflammatory foods you’ll find that most of the web “experts” out there put milk and cheese on their Bad list. Many naturally-oriented healthcare practitioners believe that cow milk has no place in a healthy diet, frequently citing the fact that it’s a substance designed to make a calf gain more than a hundred pounds in its first few months of life – which is meant to prove that it’s suitable only for baby cows. I’ve used this example myself in my nutrition course, but I’m ready to revise it.
While I’ve never been one to demonize dairy (yogurt is probably my favorite food), I think I’ve been too hasty to accept negative viewpoints about it, and I believe the truth of it isn’t nearly as black-and-white as people want to make it. So I’d like to offer you a more balanced examination of dairy today.
First, let’s look at what the oldest sources say on the matter. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, milk products are considered to be moistening and fortifying to the body, though potentially to the point of causing phlegm when consumed in excess – and excess could be very little, depending on the person. Also, its ability to produce congestion is considered to more pronounced if it’s consumed cold.
In Ayurvedic Medicine (the traditional medical system of India), milk is said to deeply nourish the body, to build mass, balance the emotions, and to be cooling and grounding. Especially in light of Hindus’ reverence for cows, milk is considered to be an exceedingly special food. Along with honey, it’s revered as one of the only foods that can be consumed with no “violence” since it’s not a living organism. It may be excellent for, say, a skinny, anxious person (vata dominance) but perhaps not so good for an overweight, congested person (kapha dominance). Consumed in large amounts, cold, or by someone for whom “building mass” isn’t appropriate, it has the ability to cause phlegm or toxicity. Also, it is recommended that milk be drunk apart from other foods.
It bears mentioning that throughout most of the history of both of these medical systems, there was no mass dairy production, refrigeration, pasteurization, homogenization, antibiotic or hormone use in cattle, and cows ate grass – not grains and soybeans. In Ayurveda, milk is usually prescribed warm, raw, unhomogenized, and in moderation. Because of its relatively rich and heavy nature, consuming it with the addition of warming spices such as cinnamon, cardamom, black pepper, turmeric, or ginger helps to make it more readily digestible.
The perspectives of these holistic systems highlight an important point – what it does to a person depends largely on (1) the person and (2) the way the milk is prepared and consumed. Think about how milk is presented to the baby for whom it was created – warm, unpasteurized, unhomogenized, and in a format that supports slow consumption. It’s reasonable to consider that rapidly downing a glass of cold, processed milk is quite a different experience for the body.
Despite the differences, however, several recent studies show that even the consumption of modern, processed dairy products generally has no inflammatory effect, and may even have an anti-inflammatory effect. For instance, a 2015 study called Dairy Products and Inflammation: A Review of the Clinical Evidence reviewed 52 clinical trials that looked at inflammatory markers in relationship to dairy consumption. In people who were specifically allergic to cow’s milk, there was an inflammatory response, but in those without an allergy, milk consumption decreased markers of inflammation.
The key here, then, is to determine if you’re allergic to milk. Often, but not always, you can figure this out by simply cutting all dairy products out of your diet for at least two weeks. If you feel better, this is a decent indication that your body doesn’t love dairy – at least, in the way you were consuming it before. Then, reintroduce it in generous amounts and see how you feel. If your energy declines or your skin gets itchy or you get phlegmy or anything else unpleasant happens, it’s likely a problematic food for you, and more investigation is warranted.
If you don’t experience any change, it might be safe to say your body handles dairy okay. But for a really clear test, I recommend cutting out not just dairy, but all common culprits in food sensitivities – wheat, corn, soy, eggs, beans, nuts, onions, garlic, and even fruit – eating a very clean, simple diet (you can look up “elimination diet” for more ideas) for two weeks and then, against this blank canvas, reintroduce dairy. Your body’s response should be more obvious.
If this elimination diet is too hardcore for you, but you’re willing to go one step further than just cutting out dairy, I recommend cutting out both dairy and gluten (wheat, barley, rye, oats – unless certified gluten free) at the same time, since some nutritionists have theorized that gluten sensitivity heightens dairy sensitivity by causing changes to the gut.
If you discover through your self-experimentation that you don’t feel well with dairy, do some more experimenting to determine if it’s all dairy or just certain forms. Try yogurt – both full-fat and non-fat. Try butter. Try plain milk. Try cheese – both soft cheeses and hard cheeses. If you’re accustomed to consuming conventional brands of dairy, give the organic, grass-fed stuff a try. See if you notice any difference in how these different forms of dairy make you feel. It requires paying more attention to your body and mind than you may be accustomed to, but there’s a big payoff to tuning in this way.
Even if you’re not technically allergic to it (meaning, mounting an immune response to it), you may still be “sensitive” to it. Sensitivities to foods are something milder than a true allergy, and are rarely investigated in a scientific way, so it’s difficult to say what’s really going on physiologically. But I’ve definitely seen many cases of dairy sensitivity – people who develop symptoms of irritation when they consume it. It’s especially common in young kids. When I encounter a child with a chronic skin rash or recurrent ear infections, dairy sensitivity is the first thing that comes to mind. Frequently this sensitivity disappears as the child grows up.
One thing the studies and most zealots on either side of the issue don’t tend to account for is human variability. Factors such as your ethnicity and blood type, and even the climate you live in, can influence how you’re affected by certain foods. If your ancestors dined on dairy for centuries, chances are you’re fairly tolerant of it. If your ancestors came from a place – like China – where dairy has not been a prominent part of local cuisine, you may have more difficulty with it. Peter D’Adamo covers this topic to some extent in the blood type diet book, Eat Right 4 Your Type.
Finally, many of the negatives attributed to dairy come down to quality. I’ve had numerous patients tell me they don’t handle conventional dairy products well, but they do just fine with the good stuff.
Cows are made to eat grass – like an all day salad – and this is highly significant. Their four stomachs and the chewing of their cud are specific adaptations to an all-grass diet. It’s what they thrive on. When instead we feed them corn and soybeans, the nutritional quality and flavor of their milk (and meat) are diminished. When we give them hormones in order to extend the period they can be milked after giving birth, this degrades the quality of their milk (this has been proven in court, despite the persistence of that FDA statement that there is no difference between the milk of cows that are and aren’t treated with growth hormone). When we pasteurize their milk in order to kill bacteria that may be present, we damage its enzymes and probably reduce its nutritional value. And when we homogenize it so it won’t separate, we break the fat globules into tiny particles that do not occur naturally, and this seems to detrimentally affect how we utilize the nutrients in it.
These factors considered, although the studies don’t seem to support the blanket negative allegations against it, it still seems worthwhile to consume dairy products in as close to their natural form as we can get them. Therefore, if your body handles milk products well, feel free to consume them. Ignore the zealots. And, when possible, have them fresh, organic, raw or cultured, and warm. I know it’s a bit unusual for many people to have milk, yogurt, or cottage cheese warm, so if that seems unpalatable, consider taking a tip from Ayurveda and mix in a small amount of some warming spice (cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, or turmeric).
What’s your story with dairy? Tell me about it in the comments below. Oh, and as for that idea that “milk is meant to make a cow gain a hundred pounds in a few months,” here’s a simple reason for that: by three weeks old, most calves are consuming about 11 quarts (that’s almost 3 gallons) per day.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about the prevalence of life coaches and other professionals who aim to guide others toward reaching their goals or finding psycho-spiritual wellness. He was feeling concerned that there has been a certain commodification of personal growth. While I agreed that this is one facet of how we’ve treated personal growth, I believe that on the whole the notion that we can change who we are has been good for us.
The fundamental issue is that humans suffer. We feel overwhelmed, lost, fearful, confused, alone, angry, sad, etc. This suffering has been compounded by a trend toward disconnection from our foundations. Overall, humans have less of an everyday connection to nature, spirituality, and other humans than in the past. So, there has always been a need for help, and this need has become more acute recently.
Meanwhile, there has also been a trend in the last several decades toward more open discussion on the human psyche, spirit, and potential. We’re freer than ever to speak about our thoughts and feelings, and we explore perspectives from other cultures. We’re more willing than previous generations to see things in a new way, update our customs, change careers, and become someone different than we’ve been. Thus, more than ever we have people who feel a calling to assist others in these ways. Do they deserve to be compensated for their help? I say yes.
The ubiquity of such helpers is a good thing. There are a lot of people needing help. Further, the prevalence of such guides has made everyone up their game. No longer is an exotic outfit or accent qualification enough to be a guru. Consumers are more savvy. And a wonderful byproduct of the expansion of the personal growth field is that it’s not limited to a particular socioeconomic class. There is an incredible abundance of free and cheap resources out there – articles, podcasts, books, videos, and support groups.
If you are able to work one-on-one with a coach you resonate with, there are lots of good reasons to do it:
Accountability: Often we don’t hold ourselves accountable for what we say we’re going to do and who we say we want to be. Having someone else to track us and remind us to stay on course is often all it takes for us to follow through.
Wisdom: A great coach has learned some things, and many can tap into a repository of wisdom that goes well beyond their personal experience.
Holding Space: A good coach knows how to hold a container in which their clients can safely experience whatever they’re struggling with, explore and unravel their challenges, and find their way to healing, growth, and evolution.
Seeing Your Patterns of Dysfunction: One of the most useful functions a coach can serve is pointing out what you can’t see, like the way you keep sabotaging good jobs, or how to don’t maintain healthy boundaries in relationships. We can’t fix what we don’t see.
Seeing Your Light: Often we have no problem seeing what’s “wrong” with us; the real hurdle is seeing what’s right. A good coach is there to point out your gifts, your value, your potential, and all the ways you’re managing with grace.
Hand Holding: While this is a role many a good friend has performed, it’s another thing coaches can do for us. Sometimes we know where we want to go, we know what we need to do, but we just feel intimidated. Having someone hold our hand through it may feel like a silly thing to ask for, but if it gets us to do what we’re here to do, it’s an invaluable service.
Wishing you the guide who will coax out your greatness,
Peter
[post_title] => Six Ways a Coach Can Help You Reach Your True Potential
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When Briana and I were creating the Dragontree Life Coach training program, we had lots and lots of meetings to discuss the curriculum. During one of those meetings I suddenly remembered something that happened in a classroom about 20 years earlier . . .
I was in graduate school for Asian medicine and I was taking a course in a subtle form of healing called Jin Shin Do. It involves touching acupuncture points on a patient’s body with minimal pressure. The idea isn’t to give a massage or manipulate the tissue, but to simply make contact, forming circuits between the points and supporting them to perform their therapeutic functions.
At the same time, I was studying massage, herbal medicine, and acupuncture – modalities where both practitioner and patient could agree that something more “obvious” was being done. In comparison I had some doubts about whether Jin Shin Do would accomplish anything, but I was pleasantly surprised. As the weeks passed and my classmates and I treated each other, we all noticed improvements in our physical and psychological health. And because the intervention was so gentle, there weren’t any side effects.
I was especially amazed at how recipients’ experiences were affected when the practitioners were secretly instructed to hold a certain mental focus during the treatment. For instance, sometimes the instructor would have the practitioners think about what they were going to make for dinner, or about their finances, or to keep the word “love” in mind while touching the recipient.
One focus resulted in the best experiences for the recipients. When the practitioners were told (without the recipients’ knowledge) to hold in mind the phrase “I am here for you,” the recipients reported feeling the deepest relaxation, profound peace, and a sense of trust in the process. (Unsurprisingly, when the practitioners spent the session thinking about dinner or money, the recipients reported that it didn’t feel like the treatment did anything).
Though it was a fleeting experience, it taught me a lot about what humans want and how we can best support each other. When it came to developing the coaching curriculum, this memory shaped our approach. While it may sound great to be able to solve people’s problems for them, often it’s even more supportive to be a steadfast presence for them – to “hold space” so they can safely feel and explore what’s happening for them . . . and discover the solution themselves.
This recognition sometimes comes as a big relief to coaches (or anyone in the healing arts) because it means you don’t have to have all the answers. In fact, I think it’s safe to say you’ll never have them. You can let yourself off the hook.
If you care for people and like to help, if you feel joy from seeing someone grow and develop their superpowers, you can do this. If you’re able to say, “I am here for you,” you’re able to support healing and evolution. And if you’d like some instruction in doing this work – some heart-centered, compassionate, holistic, nature-based, and thoroughly beautiful instruction – please check out our Dragontree Life Coaching Program.
Be well,
Peter
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Cart
Thank you for your thoughts! You are right on!
Continued Blessings to all of us..
I believe. )O(
Cheers *
You’re welcome, Jacque! Yes, blessings for everyone!
There has been this outpouring of generosity in so many forms: free concerts, willingness to learn new tech skills, people reaching out more, inspiring chalk writings on driveways and sidewalks.
I agree, Jan. Not just generosity but inspiration. My daughter and I hung up little signs around town with inspiring messages, too.
Thank you, Briana, Peter, and all at Dragontree for your efforts to inform us, as well as giving us positive ways to manage our anxiety and help contribute in this difficult time. The free meditation yesterday and tapping video from Peter are especially appreciated. I look forward to receiving my Immune Support. Much gratitude to you. 🙏❤️
You’re welcome, Lyn. We’re so happy to help. It’s what we’re here to do. ❤️
So grateful for your words. I just read this to my teenager and 25 year old who were expressing their fears to me at the current situation and they say and listened to ever word. It made such a difference. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing it with them, Maria Elena – and for sharing with us. I’m glad it helped!
Love this. Really appreciate you guys 🌺🌵✌🏼
Thanks, Genevieve. We hope you’re staying well & sane.
This is a jolt to the projected lifestyle I am establishing now for my future.
A que to Dream BIG! Be who, what, where, etc… your heart truly desires. Is this what you really want? Are you holding back for some reason? Don’t! Sure, we don’t know when it is outr time to go, that I’ve considered before. What I hadn’t considered was that we never know when life as we know it will forever change in ways we never expected. The world is much different than it was six months ago. What an interesting time to be alive.
Indeed, Sara! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you. These 9 celebrations are moving and true. I truly appreciated reading them tonight. It has been a long, profoundly surreal week, for sure. Take care! N ⚓️
You’re welcome and thank you, Nancy. I’m glad this message has been an ⚓ for you.
Back in December, when I was doing my end-of-year and decade reviews, I felt that I was at the gateway of such a powerful and magical time.
Then the pandemic started.
What?!
However, within the first few days (I live in Europe so things got started here a bit ahead of the US,) I realized much of what you outlined: less pollution, if only for a few weeks; getting all of humanity together, no war, religion, economic or political theory has ever accomplished this; buying less ‘stuff’, including many companies that have switched to immediately useful things like from making gin to hand sanitizer or cars to respirators; appreciation for those working at the shops and delivery, hospitals, etc.
ALSO: everyone has time to meditate on their lives and the world and figure out what they DO want, in case up to now we’ve been living/seeing in the world what we don’t want.
(And, interestingly, my partner and I had both just started reading a book, the first chapter of which is about lfe in-between-lives and choosing the events of our next lifetime. My partner said: “we all must’ve chosen to be here during the pandemic.” I said: “Yeah, we all thought ‘pandemic? that sounds like fun, sign me up for that.’”)
So, after the first week of erratic heartbeat, anxiety, etc, thinking of the above points, I was feeling very positive about how the world can make a change for the good.
Until I started hearing about how many think it’s a hoax or downright dystopian views. I felt sad for a whole day. I know there are those like you at Dragontree and myself -since pretty much all the regular newsletters I get are now about getting through this in health and positivity, offering free meditations, etc.- but I suddenly felt I was in the minority and kind of helpless.
I’ve since decided that I’m NOT helpless. Or course, I can’t do everything. BUT, I can take care of my and my family’s health. I can pray and meditate and connect in the ethers to those who are praying and meditating for a positive change in humanity and for our dear, so-beautiful-and-generous-in-spite-of-what-we’ve-done-to-her Earth. Together we can surround and fill the planet with Hope and Light.
Thanks Gwynneth. Amazing that you had such similar insights to me. Yes, this is an unexpected way for a magical and powerful time to look, but I believe that if we’re able to get more people on board with this perspective, it will improve global morale and empower us to make the most of this pivotal time.
Awe this email is salve…. thank you. I’m reconnecting and recognizing the power of family both extended, friends who are family and my unit at home. The importance of us setting the tone for our days and nights. We have a new ritual w my grandmother and meals weekly and it’s nice to see her consistently
Thanks Rachel. Making salve is one of my specialities. Your new rituals sound sweet and nourishing.
Thank you for this uplifting article! I am 84 and my husband is 83 and we are doing well, but it does my heart good when someone calls to check on us or offer to do our shopping! We are so blessed and I do feel that although we are social distancing, we are really coming together more than ever before!
Thanks Dorothy, we treasure elders like you and your husband. Are you in the Boulder area? We have plenty of toilet paper if you’d like me to bring some by! Really!
May all Beings everywhere learn the lessons that need to be learned right now and be transformed! Thank you for your words of wisdom. Peace & love!
Yes! Thank you, Lisa, and you’re welcome. Be well.
This is so beautiful. Love you two and the work you put into the world. Thank you!
We love you too Jenn!
In this time, our Dr brought us together to make much needed masks for Heath care workers to wear over the one mask they get for the week. The masks are made of cotton and can be steilized and reused. Our goal is 3 thousand to be given to health care providers. Stay healthy and love each other.
I have been blessed with vicariously virtually witnessing a shooting star with my sister that I believe is Source telling us that our spirit guides are with us & all will be well.