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Truly Useful Real-Life Skills

As the parents of a teenager, we often find ourselves in a series of conversations called, “When am I Going to Use This in Real Life?” Popular episodes include, “When Am I Going to Use Calculus in Real Life?” and “When am I Going to Use Shakespeare in Real Life?”

Between trying to find ways to motivate our kid to stick with the subjects they don’t care about, we’ve given a lot of thought to what really IS important to learn for “real life,” and we believe that near the top of the list are the skills of goal-setting, planning, and follow-through. Sadly, these subjects won’t be covered (directly) in our kid’s high school and they probably weren’t at yours either.

As a result, many of us just stumble upon methods that work reasonably well, and we may start to relate to life as something to be maintained rather than our ongoing creation with infinite opportunities for improvement. The second perspective is not only more gratifying, it’s also a lot more fun.

We want to help you get the training you never received.

If your goals always get pushed to the bottom of your to-do list…

If you doubt your ability to follow through…

If you feel more daunted than excited by your big dreams…

If you procrastinate the changes that will make your life better…

If you know you have more potential than this, but don’t know how to start actualizing it…

Don’t give up! You just need to be shown HOW.

That’s what we’ll do for you in our 9 week course, Dreaming and Planning.

We’ll guide you through all the steps for making goals, breaking them down into manageable pieces, and achieving them, step-by-step.

In this course you will actually set and attain a goal that you choose, so you’ll have the experiential instruction of moving through this process to completion (with plenty of hand-holding).

Your confidence will grow.

You’ll build personal integrity.

You’ll start to trust yourself.

Your nervous system will calm down.

You’ll feel less overwhelmed.

The potential everyone always saw in you will finally have a powerful outlet.

It’s life changing!

We can do this together.

Check it out below.

Be well,

Peter and Briana

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As you know, even though this is technically just the first day of winter, the days start getting longer again on Thursday. In our family, it’s a day for making peace with the darkness and remembering that the light is always here, even when we can’t see it. Before bed, Briana and I hide dozens of electric tea lights throughout the house and it’s the kids’ job to find them all. I have some winter solstice questions for you. What are some expressions of light in dark times? There are people like Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi who stand for freedom in the midst of oppression. There is the light of human innovation and the love of our planet in the midst of the climate crisis. There are songs of hope that arise from the hearts of the enslaved. Can you think of some other examples, both in the world at large and your own life? What is the source of this light? Where does it come from? Rather than searching for the answer with your analytical mind, I encourage you to look inside, quiet the mind, and simply ask into the space: “What are you, Light? Where do you come from?” What do you see, hear, or feel in response? If you have friends or family members who like to share and “go deep,” try bringing up these questions in a group setting. It’s my belief that we are all carriers of the One Light that unifies us all. Every one of us has the power to illuminate our perspective and to shine it into the world. Every one of us has the potential to be a beacon in our community. The biggest impediment is simply forgetting. Sometimes we know the Light is within us and ours to call upon, but we get wrapped up in busyness. Other times we buy into disempowering stories about life that make us feel the Light is gone, or it’s outside us somewhere. Remember. Here's a solar meditation I encourage you to try from Damien Echols, author of High Magick:

Sit in the daylight.
Inhale for a count of four while imagining that you’re drawing the sun’s light into your body through your skin.
Hold your breath for a count of four while you imagine this light is seeping into all your tissues, penetrating every cell.
Exhale for a count of four while imagining that you’re powerfully projecting the light out of every pore, shining it out into the world.
Hold your breath for a count of four while imagining that you’re immersed in and basking in the field of light you just projected outward.
Repeat.

We really are rather like those creepy bottom-dwelling fish with a lantern thingy sticking out from their foreheads. We generate the light and then that very light illuminates the path ahead for us. Try it. Happy holidays from all of us at The Dragontree. [post_title] => Winter Solstice [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => solstice [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-12-16 19:03:12 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-12-16 19:03:12 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8897 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [1] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8709 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2022-07-22 22:54:42 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-07-22 22:54:42 [post_content] => When I’m counseling clients with marital challenges, my orientation is to always try to save the relationship. Especially if the individuals are interested in growing, becoming more self-aware, and healing old wounds and patterns of dysfunction, there’s nothing like an intimate relationship to facilitate that process. Some of the main recurring themes of our conversations are commitment, intention, and integrity. I don't mean to provoke blame or shame when I point out that nearly every relationship that ends in divorce begins with two sane and sober people making lifelong promises to each other in front of a room full of loving witnesses. Whether we realize it or not, I believe the essence of what most couples are vowing is, “I’m going to do whatever it takes to make this a healthy relationship.” Over time, we may forget our promise or rationalize breaking it because we’re not happy, we and our circumstances have changed, or the other person is annoying and smelly. Of course, many people enter such a contract without giving it much thought. They feel in love and assume that feeling is enough. They don’t sincerely consider the inevitability of change, hardship, and annoyance. If only we could impress upon engaged couples how important it is to be completely present in this act of commitment. Forever means forever. Yes, there are times when it’s best to part ways – especially when there’s abuse or when your partner has withdrawn and has no interest in maintaining the relationship – but most of the cases I see are salvageable; the primary issue is one of attitude. If both parties can recognize and honor the commitment they made, both parties want to save and improve the relationship, and both parties are willing to work at it, the relationship will likely survive and be all the stronger. Further, both people will inevitably grow through the process. While it may require role modifications, improving communication, prioritizing intimacy, and other outward changes, an important starting point is being real with oneself about one’s commitment. Lifelong commitment implies not entertaining the idea of leaving unless all options for achieving a healthy relationship have been exhausted. But frequently we do think about exiting the relationship when it’s not to our liking, sometimes before we’ve tried much to improve the situation, and this can be a form of sabotage. Even if our partner doesn’t know we’re doing it, when we’re thinking this way – i.e., “I could end it” – we subtly withdraw, and the relationship suffers from it. We’re no longer all-in. The degradation can easily snowball. When even one member of a relationship is all-in, the chances of success are good. Of course, it’s not healthy or sufficient if one person is consistently all-in and the other is chronically disengaged, but if there’s a loving recognition that the other party’s ability to participate waxes and wanes as they grapple with their own “stuff,” and we don’t take it personally, periods of imbalance are easier to repair. If, on the other hand, we respond to a partner’s deficit of engagement by pulling out in equal measure, we’re acting against the health of the relationship and our own best interests. In truth, the staying together part is only the most superficial aspect of our commitment. I’m sure you’ve seen unhealthy relationships that were clearly causing both members to suffer, but they seemed to feel there was merit in sticking it out, even if they weren’t actively working to heal it. So, what did we actually commit to? Even if you never put words to it, it’s still possible to do so retroactively. Whether you’re married, in a committed non-married relationship, or single but interested in a deep relationship, I encourage you to think and write about what kinds of qualities you’re committed to. If you’re currently in a relationship, what kind of attitude do you aim to have toward the relationship and your partner? What conditions tend to degrade your attitude? What helps to strengthen your commitment to show up fully and positively? We’ll explore this more next week. Be well, Peter [post_title] => Relationship Repair Step One: Attitude Adjustment [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => relationship-repair-step-one-attitude-adjustment [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-07-22 22:54:42 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-07-22 22:54:42 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8709 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8864 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2022-11-25 21:46:31 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-11-25 21:46:31 [post_content] => No matter where you are on your journey, the Dragontree candle collection offers an inspiring tool to help light the way. Our new candles are thoughtfully designed and hand-crafted with intention and quality ingredients. We. Love. Candles. As owners of spas and teachers of ritual, we go through a LOT of candles. Think of a big number and multiply it by a zillion – that’s how many candles we burn. A day. There are plenty of things we love about candles, but the central reason we use them is to bring the Fire Element into our space. From the beginning of recorded time, fire has been a powerful symbol and a central part of our lives. Our relationship to it is embedded deep in our collective consciousness. Fire’s light and warmth has long been a source of comfort and safety, and has been used to initiate rituals, to carry prayers, to promote transformation, to celebrate our connection with each other, and to remember and honor the light of awareness that unites us and transcends the mundane. For millennia we tended fires and gazed into flames on a daily basis, which facilitated a gentle meditative state in which we readily let go of our troubles and became realigned. Deprived of that routine, we find ourselves habitually staring at glowing screens instead . . . an inferior replacement that tends to have the opposite effect on us. The moment we light a candle, it shifts our consciousness. It takes us out of the whirlwind and brings us back into the present moment. Every detail of our Dragontree candles was painstakingly considered to ensure they’d be inspiring, supportive, and simply the best candles we’ve ever used. Why they’re so great:

Made with 100% beeswax
Higher melting point so they emit the cleanest, brightest flame
Cleanest burning wax produces no soot or toxic chemicals
Releases negative ions into the air, helps purify and elevate sacred spaces
The dense composition of beeswax burns slower and lasts longer than other candles
Individually hand poured by craftspeople in Cape Cod.
Presented in a luxurious box with gold foil lettering – perfect for gifting
Made with natural essential oils for an aromatherapeutic – but never overpowering or perfumy – experience
Poured in beautiful glass vessels imprinted with an affirmation
Vessels can be reused as an elegant pen holder, vase, or a hundred other uses
Ethically and sustainably created
No dyes, additives, or parabens
3"D x 3.5"H
8 oz.
Up to 50 hours burn time
Made in the USA

Why not paraffin, soy, or palm wax? Paraffin is a byproduct of the petroleum industry, and burning paraffin candles releases toxic compounds into your living space, including known carcinogens. Soy wax comes from soybeans, 96% of which are genetically modified to tolerate application of the pesticide Roundup. We don’t want to contribute to the soy industry and its ecological impacts. Palm wax comes from palm plantations which require massive-scale deforestation, endangering orangutans and other species, and contributing to climate change. Beeswax, in contrast, requires raising millions of healthy bees, which pollinate our crops and are a vital link in the ecosystem. You Are Sacred This elegant and soulful candle comes in a glossy black tumbler that is imprinted with a simple but powerful reminder: You Are Sacred. We know how easy it is for this crazy human ride to make you forget, to make you feel small and powerless. But that’s not who you really are. Remember? You Are Sacred. You are an expression of your Highest Self. You are a conscious creator. You can choose in every moment how to embody this sacredness. Light it daily before meditation, journaling, setting an intention, starting your day, or anytime you need some sacred space to get through a negative experience. The spicy, earthy notes of Cardamon, Vetiver, and Cedarwood mix with the bright, clear scent of Cypress and Pine, and the addition of Amyris highlights the soft woodsy aroma with the slightest hint of sweetness. This custom scent was blended to foster a calm sense of wellbeing and connect you to the sacred spaces found in nature . Our You Are Sacred candle makes a thoughtful gift for loved ones to show them you recognize their scaredness and want to be a part of their challenges, healing, and growth. Be The Light This bright and joyful candle is hand poured into a reflective white glass vessel and speaks to a powerful choice that is always available: “Be The Light” in noble gold lettering. This simple, yet life-changing statement reminds you there is a light within and your job is to let it shine into the world. Just as one candle can be used to light another, your light – pouring through your heart, your smile, your hands, giving purpose to your every task – sparks the light in others. Be The Light means not just shining outward, but also inward. In order to be effective beacons in the world, we must not withhold light from any part of ourselves. Being the light means accepting and integrating all that we are. In a world with plenty of darkness, there is no service greater than being an embodiment of light, uplifting those around you and affirming that lightness is their true nature. The fresh, cleansing fragrance of Sage and Pine blends artfully with soothing notes of Lavender and Vanilla and creates a sensory experience that supports emotional balance, blocks negative energies, and purifies your sacred space. Brighten someone’s day by gifting them this lovely affirmation. It serves as a daily prompt and lets them know that you recognize their light and are warmed and inspired by knowing them. Click here to check out our new candles! [post_title] => We. Love. Candles. [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => we-love-candles [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-11-25 22:13:55 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-11-25 22:13:55 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8864 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) ) [post_count] => 3 [current_post] => -1 [before_loop] => 1 [in_the_loop] => [post] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8897 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2022-12-16 18:25:27 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-12-16 18:25:27 [post_content] => This Wednesday is the winter solstice, the day when the northern hemisphere is at its maximum tilt away from the sun, giving us the shortest day of the year. As you know, even though this is technically just the first day of winter, the days start getting longer again on Thursday. In our family, it’s a day for making peace with the darkness and remembering that the light is always here, even when we can’t see it. Before bed, Briana and I hide dozens of electric tea lights throughout the house and it’s the kids’ job to find them all. I have some winter solstice questions for you. What are some expressions of light in dark times? There are people like Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi who stand for freedom in the midst of oppression. There is the light of human innovation and the love of our planet in the midst of the climate crisis. There are songs of hope that arise from the hearts of the enslaved. Can you think of some other examples, both in the world at large and your own life? What is the source of this light? Where does it come from? Rather than searching for the answer with your analytical mind, I encourage you to look inside, quiet the mind, and simply ask into the space: “What are you, Light? Where do you come from?” What do you see, hear, or feel in response? If you have friends or family members who like to share and “go deep,” try bringing up these questions in a group setting. It’s my belief that we are all carriers of the One Light that unifies us all. Every one of us has the power to illuminate our perspective and to shine it into the world. Every one of us has the potential to be a beacon in our community. The biggest impediment is simply forgetting. Sometimes we know the Light is within us and ours to call upon, but we get wrapped up in busyness. Other times we buy into disempowering stories about life that make us feel the Light is gone, or it’s outside us somewhere. Remember. Here's a solar meditation I encourage you to try from Damien Echols, author of High Magick:

Sit in the daylight.
Inhale for a count of four while imagining that you’re drawing the sun’s light into your body through your skin.
Hold your breath for a count of four while you imagine this light is seeping into all your tissues, penetrating every cell.
Exhale for a count of four while imagining that you’re powerfully projecting the light out of every pore, shining it out into the world.
Hold your breath for a count of four while imagining that you’re immersed in and basking in the field of light you just projected outward.
Repeat.

We really are rather like those creepy bottom-dwelling fish with a lantern thingy sticking out from their foreheads. We generate the light and then that very light illuminates the path ahead for us. Try it. Happy holidays from all of us at The Dragontree. [post_title] => Winter Solstice [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => solstice [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-12-16 19:03:12 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-12-16 19:03:12 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8897 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [comment_count] => 0 [current_comment] => -1 [found_posts] => 221 [max_num_pages] => 5 [max_num_comment_pages] => 0 [is_single] => [is_preview] => [is_page] => [is_archive] => 1 [is_date] => [is_year] => [is_month] => [is_day] => [is_time] => [is_author] => [is_category] => 1 [is_tag] => [is_tax] => [is_search] => [is_feed] => [is_comment_feed] => [is_trackback] => [is_home] => [is_privacy_policy] => [is_404] => [is_embed] => [is_paged] => [is_admin] => [is_attachment] => [is_singular] => [is_robots] => [is_favicon] => [is_posts_page] => [is_post_type_archive] => [query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => 55cd86d4e21313813dfd8cfb23821d34 [query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] => [thumbnails_cached] => [allow_query_attachment_by_filename:protected] => [stopwords:WP_Query:private] => [compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array ( [0] => query_vars_hash [1] => query_vars_changed ) [compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array ( [0] => init_query_flags [1] => parse_tax_query ) )

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