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[post_content] => Join Dr. Peter Borten as he explores a profound approach to relieving stress: deepening our relationship with the spiritual dimension of life. Click below to watch the video and discover how reconnecting with the spirit can enrich your life and bring back a sense of magic.
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Oftentimes when flying, travelers may find themselves with a few minutes to spare prior to their flight, just enough time to get a bite to eat and a quick chair massage to address those shoulder knots. However, there are those *fun* times when travel plans get a full upheaval with an unexpectedly long flight delay or layover time. This happened even more than usual over the past few months, when much of the country was experiencing quite the winter storm.
Passengers are always pleasantly surprised by our oasis-like feel, and simply ‘spotting the tree’ can bring a huge sigh of relief, particularly when that 25 minute layover has suddenly become a 2 and a half hour layover.
But imagine the surprise of turning that time, usually spent standing around, catching up on your reading, or browsing knickknacks, into a spa day?
At our Portland International Airport location, in addition to our Sangha Room chair massage treatments, we have two private treatment rooms, where we offer a range of styles of therapeutic full body massage. We also offer a menu of ancient Ayurvedic spa treatments, such as Garshana, a traditional exfoliating massage done with raw silk gloves, using long strokes on the body to increase circulation to help increase the elimination of dead skin cells. The skin is the main eliminative organ of the body, and we could all use help eliminating stress and impurities, especially when travelling! Our Glowing Grace package, consisting of the Garshana service paired with a full body massage, is a great way to melt the time away, as well as your stress level, so you arrive at your destination feeling open and ready to receive whatever gifts the world has for you. So next time you find yourself with some time to kill before your flight, go online and book your treatment, or come visit us, across from C11. Surely, after your visit, you will wonder why you haven’t been working us into your travel plans every time you fly.
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[post_content] => Last week I wrote about giving away our power, and how it’s more common and subtle than we might think. We looked at some of the many ways people give their power to other people, and explored why doing so is more of a burden than a gift. In short, when we give our power to another, both parties are usually unaware of the transfer. The result is that the giver treats the recipient as being responsible for their own (the giver’s) happiness, stability, or whatever else they subconsciously traded for.
It’s not unusual for relationships to involve a two-way power trade, with both members acting powerless and blaming the other. For this reason, it’s important to not only reclaim your own power but to also give others back their power.
Because the trauma of scarcity is so deeply woven into our history, we tend to feel that more of anything is better. Thus, we may be reluctant to give someone back their power, and/or we may feel that it’s unkind to take back our power from someone we love (especially our children). So, let me reiterate something I said last time: each individual’s personal power is theirs alone. It doesn’t benefit others to give them your power and it doesn’t benefit you to have theirs. If anything, it makes the relationship unclean. Taking back your power will never weaken the other party; it just promotes greater freedom for both of you.
Here are some practical steps for reclaiming your power (and letting others do the same). If you have our workbook, Freedom, you’ll find it very helpful during this process.
1. Don't look to others to define your self-worth. Your worth is your worth – one incredible human life – the same as everyone else. It has nothing to do with your abilities, acquisitions, or looks.
2. Practice being okay with having different views, tastes, and choices than your peers and loved ones.
3. Practice letting go of wanting to be liked or approved of by everyone. Yes, it can be uncomfortable. Feel into that discomfort without letting it push you to give away your power.
4. Establish healthy boundaries. Don’t automatically say yes. Don’t get sucked into drama. Find your center.
5. Forgive. One of the biggest power suckers is resentment. Forgive others and forgive yourself (including for having given away your power). It’s not usually a single act but an ongoing commitment to keep forgiving.
6. Know your needs and values. Beneath every conflict there is a need/value.
7. Don't try to fix people. If you have trouble with this, consider this: Are you absolutely certain that you know what’s best for them? Have you asked them if they want your hep?
8. Learn to help, care, and love without giving away your power.
9. Be responsible for the story you tell yourself about life and your place in it.
10. Discover the identities you’ve taken on (victim, helper, life of the party, supermom, etc.), and evaluate whether they serve you.
11. When you’re angry or upset about something someone did or said, and/or if you find yourself thinking obsessively about them (positively or negatively), always check in: have you given them your power?
Now for the woo-woo part, which is just as important:
12. Learn what power loss and entanglement feel like. Learn what it feels like to be clean with your power. As you become increasingly familiar with the difference, you’ll know when repair is in order. This is easier said than done, but becomes increasingly clear when you practice the steps above and the following ceremony. Again, routinely doing a somatic practice like what we teach in Freedom is a great way to hone your sensitivity and familiarity with the felt sense of your power.
As a general guideline, when your power is entangled with another’s, you’re likely to feel something other than good and solid in yourself when you’re with them or thinking about them. You may feel a certain neediness toward them, as if you’re less than whole. You may feel overly affected by whatever they say and do. You may feel destabilized by them. You may feel tired. You may feel self-conscious. You may experience the idea of them as an irritant in your system.
13. Perform a ceremony of taking back your power and giving others theirs. It can be quick and easy. Imagine a pipe or tube connecting you and them. First you’re going to take back your power. Say or intend something like this: “Show me any fragments of my power that are in their energetic field.” And imagine these bits of power light up, like a bunch of fireflies (or however else they naturally appear to you).
Next, say or intend something like, “I’m sorry for giving you my power without your consent. I release you.” Then call your power back to you. Unlatch from the other person in all the places you’re hooked on. Imagine there’s a filter in the middle of the tube connecting the two of you, and the filter’s purpose is to only let what’s yours pass through to you. With each inhale, imagine you’re drawing back your power, pulling it out of them and into yourself. With each exhale, imagine that you’re re-incorporating this power within yourself and consolidating it into the central axis of your body. Do this for a few breaths until it feels complete.
Step two is to return anything of theirs that you’re carrying around. Ask for their energy to show itself and to unlatch from you. Then imagine the filter is reversed so that it only lets their energy pass through to them, without allowing any of your power to leave. As you relax and open yourself, imagine with each exhale that you are giving them back everything that’s theirs. Imagine With each inhale, imagine your own power is drawn toward the central axis of your head, neck, and torso, becoming a bright, strong column of light. Exhale again, releasing their energy back to them, and continue until you feel complete.
How do you feel? It’s not uncommon to notice that you feel instantly calmer and clearer when things are set straight in this way. Next time we’ll talk about the other form of power sacrifice I mentioned in the previous article (ignoring, denying, or failing to recognize our own power and agency).
Be well,
Peter
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