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The holidays are a good time to remember what we’re grateful for, and right now I’m grateful that the holidays are over. Don’t get me wrong, I spent lots of sweet time being with people I love, which is my favorite thing. But I’m happy to get back to my routine, and I find that my “everyday life” – when I’m not surrounded by presents and cookies – provides more challenge for appreciating all that I have to be grateful for. It’s a better workout for my gratitude muscles. (Also, I can get back to my Dreambook, where I have daily prompts for gratitude.)
As I see people around me making new year’s resolutions, hopeful but uncertain if they’ll keep them, I notice that a practice of gratitude is a vital part of developing and believing in our ability to change and to fully accept our role in it, i.e., our creative power.
Resolutions are usually prompted by a feeling that something needs to change. Yet if we only focus on what’s wrong, we’re impotent and miserable. When we decide to make a change, a mentality of “my current situation sucks” probably isn’t enough to carry us through actualizing that change. But a recognition of all that’s good in our lives reminds us (if we’re open to it) that we co-created this. And if we want something different, we can envision a new reality for ourselves and bring it into being.
I believe we’re much more effective at consciously shaping our lives when we do a few simple things.
First, we pay attention and appreciate all the ways in which life is going well for us, all the beauty, all the love, and all the miracles. If you can’t see these things, something is veiling your vision. Cut through it.
How can we hone our creative power if we don’t even recognize it? The more we stop and acknowledge the magic (i.e., practice gratitude) the more magical life becomes, and the more we can appreciate the role we’re playing in it. You don’t have to take my word for it. Just try it for a week (practice gratitude all day, every day). You’ll see.
Second, be sure you’re receiving what you’ve asked for. This is kind of a repetition of my first recommendation, but specifically refers to your receptivity regarding the change you’ve initiated. Make sure there’s space in your life for it, and a willingness to let yourself change. Make sure you notice when your world begins to shift – even minutely – in the direction you’ve intended, and acknowledge that your creative power is working.
Third, release your resistance to having what you’ve asked for. Sometimes we think, “Why on earth would I oppose this?!” And I’m not placing blame here. I’m just saying, be completely truthful with yourself about the hidden (or not-so-hidden) desires and beliefs that may be in opposition to your intention. And let them go. We have three processes for clearing resistance to your intentions in our book, The Well Life that can help.
Why do so many people fail to keep their new year’s resolutions? Easy. They are resistant to making this change and/or they have specific “counter-intentions” that are getting in the way (or put simply, they want something else more).
Many of these counter-intentions are rooted in childhood. For instance, you may have a childhood belief such as “it’s bad to be strong” (because, for instance, that would mean not needing your parents, or it would entail taking back power you’ve given away to others) or “I don’t deserve to be happy” (because, for instance, in pursuing happiness you made a mistake that hurt someone). I don’t agree with Freud on everything, but he was spot-on in asserting that childhood impressions affect us throughout our lives. For many of us, it’s the work of a lifetime to recognize how our inner child is running the show and to shift power to our mature inner adult.
Fourth, be consistent. I’ve heard people say, “The Universe hears your every request, so you don’t have to keep asking over and over.” I believe that it’s true that the Universe doesn’t need to be asked twice – the issue with people not getting what they say they want lies more on the human side of the equation. We change our minds all the time and we lose sight of what we’re bringing into reality.
So I recommend writing your intentions down. Personally, I like to make a ritual out of it, lighting a candle, bringing my full attention to the process, using a nice pen and a special piece of paper, feeling the intention with my whole being, visualizing its actualization, etc. Then, every single day (or twice a day) read what you’ve written and re-embody these intentions.
Finally, don’t indulge in criticizing your life. A gratitude practice helps us maintain perspective throughout each day. And a practice of stepping back – expanding into the awareness that contains this character whose life you’re leading – helps you avoid getting trapped in black-and-white judgments. When you are able to see the big picture, it’s hard to feel cursed.
Be well,
Peter
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A few days ago I was out in the sun in a beekeeping suit for hours, lifting frames of comb that were heavy and dripping with honey. We had to damage the bees’ work because they had “cross-combed” some of their frames together (built comb that bridged multiple “drawers” of their hive), so they were buzzing around us angrily and dive-bombing my face. It was getting very toasty in my suit, and then I started feeling my heartbeat in my head. I turned to Briana and I said, “I think I might pass out.”
I remembered a cooling technique one of my first yoga teachers taught me: you curl your tongue and inhale slowly through it like a straw, then exhale through your nose, and repeat. I don’t know if that’s what did it or if it was the Great Bee Spirit yelling into my mind, “Get it together, man! Do NOT drop that box full of thousands of bees!” I am happy to report that I didn’t faint and we finished our work without incident.
That convergence of tremendous heat and the beating of my heart reminded me that it’s a good time to revisit the lessons of the Fire Element. Fire presides over summer, when the Sun – the quintessence of Fire – is closest to us. In the human body, each element is represented by an internal organ. Can you guess what the main Fire organ is?
I’ll give you a hint. It’s red, it’s constantly pulsating, and it radiates its influence over the whole body. It’s the heart, of course – the sun of the human being. Over the past couple centuries, the brain has largely displaced the heart as the organ people think of as most important – but it would be worthless without constant, uninterrupted blood flow from the heart.
In traditional Chinese medical philosophy, each organ has a position in the community of the body-mind, and the heart is considered to be the Emperor/Empress. The ancient Daoists had a lot of wise things to say about leadership (see the classic, Dao De Jing by Lao Zi), and I think these insights are especially valuable at this time – particularly in the U.S. where recent years have brought intense sociopolitical division.
The role of the superior leader, Lao Zi wrote, is to integrate, to allow all parts of the kingdom to feel included. Before the throne of the superior leader, everyone is heard; no one is stifled or invalidated. As the Fire organ, we could say it’s like allowing the light and warmth of the sun to spread to and encompass the farthest reaches of the solar system. Even a planet as distant as Pluto is still held in the Sun’s grasp.
The role of the heart as an organ is the same – it wants to circulate its blood to all parts of the body. If there’s something sick or objectionable, like a sore on the foot, it doesn’t exclude the foot from its circulation. While that might kill the foot and eliminate the sore, it wouldn’t be real healing.
The heart is considered to be the portal by which Awareness (Shen) enters this body and mind. I consider the term Awareness here to be synonymous with Light of Consciousness, Holy Spirit, God, Love, or whatever word feels best to you. Let’s use Love for the moment, since it doesn’t push as many buttons as “God” and it shares a lot of qualities with Fire.
Until about 100 years ago, Fire (as the sun, campfires, candles, etc.) was the sole source of light and warmth in our world. When we open our hearts to Love, we feel a similar inner light and warmth. Love could be considered the heart’s greatest power. Love, like Fire, is a unifying force. People of all kinds and in all places look up to the same one light and are sustained by it. And though all manner of things can be fed into a fire, they become one homogeneous pile of ash – all differences rendered indistinguishable. The same is the case for Love.
The heart works best when it’s open. An open heart lets love and awareness through. An open heart is inclusive. But we’ve all closed our hearts many times. We do it as a reactive defense mechanism in order to not feel pain or other undesirable feelings. We do it whenever we refuse to accept some aspect of reality (like white supremacists or human trafficking, to name two of the hardest). Sometimes we believe it’s best not to feel at all – because that will make life easier or will make us strong and manly. So the heart remains mostly or entirely closed. Is it any wonder that the main cause of death is, essentially, closure of the heart and its vessels (we call this stroke, heart attack, and other forms of cardiovascular disease)?
The physical implications of closed hearts are relatively minor, though. The psychospiritual implications are where this habit hits us hardest. What are we left with when we exclude Love, Light, and Spirit from our lives? It’s like restricting ourselves to seeing just one color (it’s called Pantone 448 C, by the way). It makes us think of the world in terms of “us and them.” It causes us to focus on what’s wrong instead of what’s right. And it enables us to be willfully ignorant of the impacts of our choices on other humans and the planet (though not entirely ignorant – there's always a part of us that knows).
I believe the work of the heart (through the power of love) is absolute inclusion. Feel everything. Accept everything – even the things you’re working to change. Accept everyone – even those you condemn (they have something to teach you about your shadow). This is not an invitation to bypass the work before you. It’s a call to step into that work with an open heart.
If there’s something you don’t like about the world, or a person you find difficult, consider the likely outcome of rejecting or excluding them. How would you respond to being condemned? Like the sick foot, does this person heal through exclusion?
Find the parts of your kingdom (within and without) that you have excluded, and let your love rush into them. If there’s something you don’t like, begin with inclusion. Say, “I completely love, forgive, and accept myself – even though I have this {issue that I find objectionable}” or “I completely love, forgive, and accept you – even though I disagree with your views {or even condemn your actions}.” You may even find your heart saying, “Even though I must stop you from harming others, I completely love, forgive, and accept the essential being that you are, and I welcome the healing of your mind and the re-emergence of that essence.”
Saturate and envelop, and draw into your heart, the orphaned and rejected elements of yourself and the world. I believe this is our soul work; this is how we heal the world.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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Over the past several weeks, I’ve been discussing the 14 primary themes in our book, Rituals for Transformation. It’s a 108-day process with a short lesson each day, designed to help people release baggage, pain, and stories, and welcome a life of greater freedom, joy, peace, and connection. Today we’ll look at the last four of these “avenues for awakening.”
Courage
Courage may seem like one of those virtues you read about in fairy tales that seems to have little to do with being happy or successful in today’s world. In actuality, the presence or absence of courage can have a massive impact on our quality of life. It takes courage to choose a path that differs from what others expect of us. It takes courage to make hard communications. It takes courage to stand up for the truth. It takes courage to challenge our own thoughts. It takes courage to willingly be uncomfortable. It takes courage to enter the unknown.
And it takes choosing our own path, making hard communications, standing up for the truth, challenging our own thoughts, willingly being uncomfortable, and entering the unknown to have a life of true freedom and unrestrained potential.
The lessons in this theme deal with working through fear, forgiving ourselves for not always being strong, trusting in the Universe, tapping into our power, and accessing an experience of safety that transcends the impermanence of this human life.
Vision and Perspective
Vision and perspective are two facets of inner seeing that give us great power. When we speak of vision in the book, we mean the ability to see the truth (beyond all stories and interpretations) and the ability to envision as part of our creative power. And when we speak of perspective we mean the ability to choose where we place our focus and how we interpret what happens. Many of the happiest people we’ve met are great at continually seeing through the drama and holding an inner image of a good life. As we see it, optimists are just people who are in the habit of choosing positive interpretations (and anyone can learn to do this).
The lessons in this category are intended to help readers access their vision and actively choose their perspective. There are a number of invitations to “try out” certain perspectives, applying them as often as possible to daily life to experience what happens – such as “Every hardship is an opportunity,” and “I choose to focus on the blessings in my life,” and “Who would I be if I had no resistance?” and “My flexibility allows me to respond with grace to what life brings.” We also practice seeing reality beyond the mind and remaining conscious of the vision we’re holding of ourselves and the world.
Receiving
The creative power I mentioned above is something that’s received a lot of attention in books and videos over the past several decades – such as those on the Law of Attraction (e.g., The Secret) and Conversations with God. The recognition and conscious exercise of this power enables us to play, to turn our vision into reality, and to create something different if we don’t like the current story.
However, we felt there’s been too little emphasis on the other half of the equation: receiving. The ancient text called the I Ching or Book of Changes is an exploration of the fundamental forces and dynamics of nature – and how they also pertain to all aspects of humans’ lives. The 64 chapters of the book, with names like Peace, Stagnation, Conflict, Temptation, Adaptation, Danger, Attraction, and Retreat, are presented in a deliberate order. The book starts with The Creative or Creative Power – it’s the expression of pure yang. And chapter two is called The Receptive or Receiving, the expression of pure yin. Each needs the other. The remaining 62 qualities all follow from these two.
What good is it to set a creation into motion if we can’t recognize and receive it when it manifests? It seems silly to think that someone would do this, yet it happens all the time. It’s so common to focus excessively on what’s wrong that we frequently fail to notice that what we’ve asked for has come to us. Receiving is more vital than one might think. If we fail to receive, it’s not merely that we’re walking away from the vending machine before the candy drops down; what’s more detrimental is that we don’t get to see that our creative power works.
You might think as you’re reading this, “If I asked for money and money came to me, you can bet I would receive it!” But receiving goes beyond putting it in your pocket. Another interpretation of this dynamic in the I Ching is Yielding or Responding. It’s like you’re both the lead and the follower in a partner dance. When you utilize your creative power, you’re the lead. Being the follower entails responding, yielding, changing even, based on what transpires next. It means not just that you accept your gift, but that you become the person who is the natural and grateful recipient of that gift – and any feeling of lack associated with the original request ceases.
Expansion and Contraction
Our final theme, and really the whole gist of the book, is to encourage expansion of consciousness. For most people, our everyday consciousness is occupied almost entirely by our thoughts and emotions, often about the past and future. Our sense of who we are is a concept constructed from the history of what has happened to us, the roles we’ve adopted, and our redundant thoughts about all of this. As such, we’re immersed in something other than the truth and depth of reality, which is always happening right now.
When we allow some space into the picture (as through meditation and spiritual practice) so that our ego doesn’t dominate the whole of our awareness, we begin to recognize that consciousness is bigger than our thoughts and feelings. It contains them and it allows us to witness them. It’s always present, it’s always now, it’s always still, it’s beyond conflict, and it’s eternal. And it’s more who we really are than the short-lived character we tend to get wrapped up in playing.
Expansion of consciousness also occurs spontaneously at times, when we witness great beauty, or tremendous kindness, hear an inspiring story, or through another form of grace. Usually we return to our contracted state – often the moment we reach for our phone – but these peeks into expanded consciousness can change us in a lasting way. We never forget what we’ve experienced, and that glimpse of awakening yearns to awaken us even more.
Along the way, we’ll also have times of intense contraction – especially when a period of expansion takes us out of the ego’s comfort zone. Sometimes it occurs right after a spiritual experience or a profound healing. Then suddenly we’re fabulously unenlightened. We’re starting fights, we’re depressed, we’re cranky, we’re petty. “Why is this happening?!” we may think, “I thought I had come so far!”
The lessons in this section address how to recognize a contracted state, stop fighting it, and move through it gracefully. Primarily, though, they speak to how we can expand. Some of these lessons are: When I expand my consciousness the world is freed; I can exchange my burdens for grace; I awaken to my true identity; and Everything I see is the play of Divine Love. Wouldn't it be lovely to embody these sentiments?
I hope I’ve conveyed just how much intention and love we put into this book. We want nothing more than for people to read it, practice it, and experience greater freedom, joy, and connection. Please check it out and share your experience with us.
Love,
Peter
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The holidays are a good time to remember what we’re grateful for, and right now I’m grateful that the holidays are over. Don’t get me wrong, I spent lots of sweet time being with people I love, which is my favorite thing. But I’m happy to get back to my routine, and I find that my “everyday life” – when I’m not surrounded by presents and cookies – provides more challenge for appreciating all that I have to be grateful for. It’s a better workout for my gratitude muscles. (Also, I can get back to my Dreambook, where I have daily prompts for gratitude.)
As I see people around me making new year’s resolutions, hopeful but uncertain if they’ll keep them, I notice that a practice of gratitude is a vital part of developing and believing in our ability to change and to fully accept our role in it, i.e., our creative power.
Resolutions are usually prompted by a feeling that something needs to change. Yet if we only focus on what’s wrong, we’re impotent and miserable. When we decide to make a change, a mentality of “my current situation sucks” probably isn’t enough to carry us through actualizing that change. But a recognition of all that’s good in our lives reminds us (if we’re open to it) that we co-created this. And if we want something different, we can envision a new reality for ourselves and bring it into being.
I believe we’re much more effective at consciously shaping our lives when we do a few simple things.
First, we pay attention and appreciate all the ways in which life is going well for us, all the beauty, all the love, and all the miracles. If you can’t see these things, something is veiling your vision. Cut through it.
How can we hone our creative power if we don’t even recognize it? The more we stop and acknowledge the magic (i.e., practice gratitude) the more magical life becomes, and the more we can appreciate the role we’re playing in it. You don’t have to take my word for it. Just try it for a week (practice gratitude all day, every day). You’ll see.
Second, be sure you’re receiving what you’ve asked for. This is kind of a repetition of my first recommendation, but specifically refers to your receptivity regarding the change you’ve initiated. Make sure there’s space in your life for it, and a willingness to let yourself change. Make sure you notice when your world begins to shift – even minutely – in the direction you’ve intended, and acknowledge that your creative power is working.
Third, release your resistance to having what you’ve asked for. Sometimes we think, “Why on earth would I oppose this?!” And I’m not placing blame here. I’m just saying, be completely truthful with yourself about the hidden (or not-so-hidden) desires and beliefs that may be in opposition to your intention. And let them go. We have three processes for clearing resistance to your intentions in our book, The Well Life that can help.
Why do so many people fail to keep their new year’s resolutions? Easy. They are resistant to making this change and/or they have specific “counter-intentions” that are getting in the way (or put simply, they want something else more).
Many of these counter-intentions are rooted in childhood. For instance, you may have a childhood belief such as “it’s bad to be strong” (because, for instance, that would mean not needing your parents, or it would entail taking back power you’ve given away to others) or “I don’t deserve to be happy” (because, for instance, in pursuing happiness you made a mistake that hurt someone). I don’t agree with Freud on everything, but he was spot-on in asserting that childhood impressions affect us throughout our lives. For many of us, it’s the work of a lifetime to recognize how our inner child is running the show and to shift power to our mature inner adult.
Fourth, be consistent. I’ve heard people say, “The Universe hears your every request, so you don’t have to keep asking over and over.” I believe that it’s true that the Universe doesn’t need to be asked twice – the issue with people not getting what they say they want lies more on the human side of the equation. We change our minds all the time and we lose sight of what we’re bringing into reality.
So I recommend writing your intentions down. Personally, I like to make a ritual out of it, lighting a candle, bringing my full attention to the process, using a nice pen and a special piece of paper, feeling the intention with my whole being, visualizing its actualization, etc. Then, every single day (or twice a day) read what you’ve written and re-embody these intentions.
Finally, don’t indulge in criticizing your life. A gratitude practice helps us maintain perspective throughout each day. And a practice of stepping back – expanding into the awareness that contains this character whose life you’re leading – helps you avoid getting trapped in black-and-white judgments. When you are able to see the big picture, it’s hard to feel cursed.
Be well,
Peter
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[comment_count] => 0
[current_comment] => -1
[found_posts] => 147
[max_num_pages] => 3
[max_num_comment_pages] => 0
[is_single] =>
[is_preview] =>
[is_page] =>
[is_archive] => 1
[is_date] =>
[is_year] =>
[is_month] =>
[is_day] =>
[is_time] =>
[is_author] =>
[is_category] => 1
[is_tag] =>
[is_tax] =>
[is_search] =>
[is_feed] =>
[is_comment_feed] =>
[is_trackback] =>
[is_home] =>
[is_privacy_policy] =>
[is_404] =>
[is_embed] =>
[is_paged] =>
[is_admin] =>
[is_attachment] =>
[is_singular] =>
[is_robots] =>
[is_favicon] =>
[is_posts_page] =>
[is_post_type_archive] =>
[query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => 9b2ef6bc135e38d4eb9542f1e7c50788
[query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] =>
[thumbnails_cached] =>
[stopwords:WP_Query:private] =>
[compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => query_vars_hash
[1] => query_vars_changed
)
[compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => init_query_flags
[1] => parse_tax_query
)
)
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