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When my wife was a teenager, her stepmother once advised her that if she didn’t have anything nice to say to someone, she could instead try saying, “Thank you.” Not long thereafter, my wife directed some teenage angst at her stepmom, who was silent for a moment and then responded, “Thank you!” before exiting the room.
At Thanksgiving, I’m reminded of the many flavors of gratitude and the interesting power of the words thank you. These words come up with kind of an unusual frequency in our household, and it’s not because we don’t have anything nice to say to each other.
A major contributor to the rise of thank yous in our home is the fact that my wife and I have been trying to teach them to our six year old daughter. She’s at an age when saying thank you doesn’t always come naturally. It’s a behavior to be memorized and executed habitually so your parents don’t get fussy.
I catch myself sometimes flashing a sheepish look at generous adults as I prompt her with, “What do you say, Sailor?” Later I’ve told her, “I don’t want to have to keep reminding you to say thank you.”
To be honest, that’s not really the way I want to teach her the specialness of these words. I don’t want her to say thank you out of guilt. I don’t want her to say it just because it’s polite. I don’t want her to learn that a steady stream of thank yous is the way to avoid any disruption to the process of gift unwrapping or trick-or-treating.
I want her to say it because she feels it.
When thank you issues from your heart because you feel gratitude, the last thing on your mind is what effect it might have on the other person. It seems a misuse of these words to hope to get something – even better rapport – in return for saying them. On the other hand, it seems silly to reserve them just for special occasions . . . unless you recognize that your day is full of them.
Sometimes a more calculated use of thank you can still feel earnest, such as when you encounter difficulties. Maybe it doesn’t arise spontaneously when things don’t go the way you want them to. Perhaps thank you is the last sentiment on your mind when, for instance, the world is experiencing a pandemic and you can’t gather with your friends and family on Thanksgiving. Instead, maybe you’re thinking, this sucks.
But the smooth flow of life proceeds by some pretty basic rules. There’s acceptance and resistance, yes and no. Whether we think, this sucks, or, this isn’t what I wanted, or, this isn’t fair, or simply, no . . . we resist the reality of things. We generate struggle, friction, conflict, and pain.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t allow ourselves to think and feel these things (because, of course, that would be saying no on another level). But this attitude is the equivalent of paddling against the current. What if we just get back into the flow and utilize the trajectory of life, but gently steer toward greater harmony?
When, even in the face of COVID, we think, yes, or, I’m game, or, let’s see where this leads me, or, I’m open, or THANK YOU, something very different happens. Our internal experience changes immediately. But also, magically, the world responds differently to us. The world perceives us as an agent of flow, an emissary of play, an open-hearted-enthusiastic-participant-in-life, and it says, “Wonderful.” If you look an obstacle in the face and say, thank you, you deflate its power to bully you. You state your anticipation of an outcome you’ll be grateful for.
This Thanksgiving, why not try saying thank you not just for the good stuff, but for the challenges, too. I’m curious to hear how this lands with you.
Thank you – for everything,
Dr. Peter Borten
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Today is Giving Tuesday, a global day to come together to support the causes and organizations we care about.
The Dragontree values it's clients and the community that supports us all, and we believe that global change starts with community contribution.
Personally, we believe there's merit in anonymous charity - that way you know you're not doing it for status or recognition, and there's no bond of debt between the giver and the receiver. However, we've decided it's worthwhile to explain how we give as an organization so that our clients can see where some of their money goes, and more importantly, so that we can vocally advocate for GIVING and hopefully inspire you to do the same
.
We believe that each individual, every being, and the earth itself deserves love and care and we've dedicated ourselves and our business to that end.
We start by shopping locally: Whenever possible we utilize local businesses and locally-made products. This minimizes the resources and environmental impact of shipping and maximizes the amount of money that feeds our own community.
We reduce, reuse, and recycle: Used oil from shirodhara and other oil-based treatments we provide is donated to our local bio-diesel company, so they can turn the oil into useable fuel. We are continually looking for ways to reduce resource and energy consumption. We procure supplies with minimal packaging and maximum post-consumer content. And we reuse and recycle and compost as much as possible.
We donate: Every year we give away thousands of dollars in spa services and our Apothecary products to support nonprofits and charities. We also gather donation items, volunteer our time, and participate with the communities of these nonprofit organizations to help them find relaxation and peace so they can continue to do their incredible work. Our company partners with charities that are doing good in our communities such as Friendly House and Emergency Family Assistance. We volunteer our time to help them succeed in their work, and we support our employees as they do the same with the causes that they value.
We raise funds for meaningful causes: This year we donated all of the profits from the launch the Dragontree Life Coaching Program to The Well Life Foundation. The Well Life Foundation is a nonprofit organization we founded to help low-income women break the poverty cycle by providing the means to build fulfilling and sustainable careers in life coaching; and to fund community-based projects that help women in difficult transitions when and where they need it most.
On this Giving Tuesday, we encourage you to take 3 actions to support the causes you care about.
You might:
♡ Donate money or items
♡ Share the cause or organization on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter
♡ Share the story of why you care
♡ Volunteer your time
♡ Encourage others to give or volunteer
♡ Anything else that supports your organization or cause
What will you give today?
Love,
Peter and Briana and Everyone at The Dragontree
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[post_content] => It seems obvious to say, but the more special moments you fill your life with, the more special your life will feel.
That goes for planning, too.
That’s why we love not only creating products that help people plan out their big dreams, but help them do the planning itself.
Our number one tip for how to make planning a part of your life that you adore is to make it feel really special.
Here are three ways to do that so that your time spent planning feels more like a treat than another item on your to-do list.
1. Set aside time and treat it like a date.
Because it is! It’s a date with your future self. Set aside time for your planning dates and let them be really special. Lots of people in our community like to do their planning at what feels like the start of their week, whether that is Sunday afternoon or Monday morning.
Pick what feels right to you! You may find you work best when planning on Friday evenings with a glass of wine & jazz music playing, or on Wednesdays after your favorite yoga class. Whatever you choose, see if you can create a plan that honors your life, your schedule, and what feels fun to you.
2. Weave your big dreams into your day-to-day life.
So often we have a disconnect between our big picture goals (write a book someday, start a non-profit eventually) and our daily to-do list (pick up dry cleaning, prep for meeting) – how can you incorporate more of the big picture into your tasks?
3. Set small goals and follow through.
You’ll find that you get better and better at planning as you practice, and something great to do if you’re just starting to get into it, is to set small goals that you know you’ll be able to follow through with. This will help you build your self-trust and deeply know that you can tackle larger and larger tasks. So, rather than set yourself up to fail by planning to go to buckram yoga at 5am every day next week when this week you didn’t work out at all, how can you set a small goal that will feel good? Maybe you just take your morning tea on a walk to a local park, and aim to do that a few days this week. Then, add more and more. That way, you aren’t feeling overwhelmed or defeated, instead, you feel like you are truly the boss of your own life and that your #1 employee (you!) actually does what they say they are going to do.
Once you start implementing these habits, you’ll find planning is one of the most useful tools you have for creating a life that feels like it is truly YOURS everyday. You’ll look forward to your planning dates, because they are really just chances to get your priorities, preferences and big picture dreams INTO your actual life.
The next time you set up your ritual for planning or jot down a space for your big dreams in your schedule, tag us on social media @thedragontree so we can see and cheer you on!
Love,
Briana and all of us at The Dragontree
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When my wife was a teenager, her stepmother once advised her that if she didn’t have anything nice to say to someone, she could instead try saying, “Thank you.” Not long thereafter, my wife directed some teenage angst at her stepmom, who was silent for a moment and then responded, “Thank you!” before exiting the room.
At Thanksgiving, I’m reminded of the many flavors of gratitude and the interesting power of the words thank you. These words come up with kind of an unusual frequency in our household, and it’s not because we don’t have anything nice to say to each other.
A major contributor to the rise of thank yous in our home is the fact that my wife and I have been trying to teach them to our six year old daughter. She’s at an age when saying thank you doesn’t always come naturally. It’s a behavior to be memorized and executed habitually so your parents don’t get fussy.
I catch myself sometimes flashing a sheepish look at generous adults as I prompt her with, “What do you say, Sailor?” Later I’ve told her, “I don’t want to have to keep reminding you to say thank you.”
To be honest, that’s not really the way I want to teach her the specialness of these words. I don’t want her to say thank you out of guilt. I don’t want her to say it just because it’s polite. I don’t want her to learn that a steady stream of thank yous is the way to avoid any disruption to the process of gift unwrapping or trick-or-treating.
I want her to say it because she feels it.
When thank you issues from your heart because you feel gratitude, the last thing on your mind is what effect it might have on the other person. It seems a misuse of these words to hope to get something – even better rapport – in return for saying them. On the other hand, it seems silly to reserve them just for special occasions . . . unless you recognize that your day is full of them.
Sometimes a more calculated use of thank you can still feel earnest, such as when you encounter difficulties. Maybe it doesn’t arise spontaneously when things don’t go the way you want them to. Perhaps thank you is the last sentiment on your mind when, for instance, the world is experiencing a pandemic and you can’t gather with your friends and family on Thanksgiving. Instead, maybe you’re thinking, this sucks.
But the smooth flow of life proceeds by some pretty basic rules. There’s acceptance and resistance, yes and no. Whether we think, this sucks, or, this isn’t what I wanted, or, this isn’t fair, or simply, no . . . we resist the reality of things. We generate struggle, friction, conflict, and pain.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t allow ourselves to think and feel these things (because, of course, that would be saying no on another level). But this attitude is the equivalent of paddling against the current. What if we just get back into the flow and utilize the trajectory of life, but gently steer toward greater harmony?
When, even in the face of COVID, we think, yes, or, I’m game, or, let’s see where this leads me, or, I’m open, or THANK YOU, something very different happens. Our internal experience changes immediately. But also, magically, the world responds differently to us. The world perceives us as an agent of flow, an emissary of play, an open-hearted-enthusiastic-participant-in-life, and it says, “Wonderful.” If you look an obstacle in the face and say, thank you, you deflate its power to bully you. You state your anticipation of an outcome you’ll be grateful for.
This Thanksgiving, why not try saying thank you not just for the good stuff, but for the challenges, too. I’m curious to hear how this lands with you.
Thank you – for everything,
Dr. Peter Borten
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