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You are amazing. Let’s take it to the next level.
I am always delighted to get unsolicited positive feedback about our books and courses. I save it all in an ever-growing document. Originally, the purpose was to have an easy way to remind myself of the value of my work if I were ever questioning my purpose or having a moment of low self-esteem. Eventually I realized that I don’t build up a tolerance to positive feedback; even if I glanced at these messages every day it wouldn’t stop having a beneficial effect on my consciousness.
When I was last looking at these notes, I was struck by how amazing people are. Yes, they needed some help to get to the next level and they felt our guidance made a difference, but they were invariably awesome to begin with.
While some of them went looking for assistance because of a sense that their lives were dysfunctional, many of them clearly recognized that things were already pretty great – and they also saw room to grow and improve.
One woman wrote to us that she had a thriving clothing import business when she got our Dreambook. In the self-exploration section, she realized she desired an avenue for greater creative expression. She set a goal, identified all the steps involved, followed through, and within a year she was receiving the first shipment of clothes she had designed herself!
Another Dreambook user told us it empowered her to move to Hawaii. She wrote, “My soul thrives there!” For decades she had visited and thought of it as a magical place … but only for vacations. It didn’t seem possible to live there full time. But, she said, “The book asked, ‘What would make life feel ridiculously fun?’ and I wrote, ‘Living in Hawaii’ and suddenly it was on the table and I started facing my excuses.”
She realized the potential quality-of-life impact it could have for her, so she mapped out the logistics. She asked the thriving Dragontree community, “What do you think?” And one by one, all of her obstacles disappeared. “Someone knew of a cool place to live – on a cacao farm! Someone else connected me with a job. Another person was moving from Hawaii back to the mainland to take care of her mother and she gave me all of her furniture – and some chickens!”
What are the critical factors in leveling up? Chances are, you don’t need to win the lottery or receive some other external windfall. It starts with having a vision of what “next level” would look like. The Dreambook provides the framework – all you need to do is fill in the blanks and follow through. Our 2023 edition comes out soon and it’s the best version ever. Check it out here!
Also, I highly recommend keeping some sort of file like the one I described above. Whenever you receive a positive message, whether as an email, text, social media comment, or birthday card . . . copy it, screenshot it, take a picture of it, or print it and stick it in a document, onto or dreamboard, or in a folder. It’s like stocking a medicine cabinet with bottles that will never go empty (plus it won’t upset your stomach).
Be well,
Peter
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Have you had an experience of awakening to something that feels more real than ordinary reality? I remember the first time I heard Zen-inspired spiritual teacher Adyashanti refer to these moments as “gaps” in everyday awareness, when we stop focusing on our own mind and experience the world as it really is.
I’d had some of these expansive periods but felt a great letdown when I returned to ordinary reality. This is sometimes referred to as the “I get it! I lost it” phenomenon. It was relieving to hear Adyashanti describe these moments simply as windows through the dominant narrative. He explains that when we’re adamant about finding the truth, the gaps tend to get longer and more frequent. He also observes that what we find there isn’t usually what we expect it will be.
When the gaps run into each other and become our abiding reality, this is often referred to as spiritual awakening or enlightenment. It’s natural to imagine that something that sounds so grand and mystical must be a state unlike anything we’ve ever felt – maybe even a condition of perpetual ecstasy.
This makes it highly appealing to the ego, which often tries to take over the mission. It can easily turn spirituality into a competition and a source of identity and approval (“I’m woke AF!). And it may desperately hope that it’s finally found the thing that’s going to make us happy.
Happiness is a noble pursuit, but it’s not necessarily the same path that the question of “What am I really?” takes us on. Likewise, while I believe the “What am I?” path does eventually lead us to happiness – true, causeless happiness, in fact – there’s likely to be some unhappiness along the way, which is generated by the ego’s unwillingness to get out of the driver’s seat.
Spiritual awakening shrinks the ego to irrelevance, and this idea is about as scary as actually dying. The ego – the mental construct of personality, feelings, memories, and intellect that we’ve cultivated and reinforced since childhood – dominates our inner and outer experience of life, and in this way confuses us into believing that it is who we are. It’s been this way for so long that we may have forgotten what the unfiltered, egoless experiences (i.e., gaps) feel like. The ego isn’t malicious; it’s just trying to survive. But to the extent that we believe our ego is who we are, we’ll find it impossible to circumvent – because how could we get away from ourselves?
As of this writing, my ego is alive and well, and my gaps are fewer and farther between than I would prefer, but I’ve spent enough time cultivating gaps that I hope I can share something worthwhile. In my experience, though I have had moments of true ecstasy (while completely sober!), the most striking surprise is the incredible familiarity and closeness of the transcendent experience. I think this is what Adyashanti and other teachers are getting at when they say, “It’s not what the mind thinks it’s going to be.”
While we may imagine that spiritual awakening is like acquiring new powers, I believe it’s more of a remembering. It’s like having your head in one of those old-school arcade machines, gripping the joystick, munching pellets, running away from the ghosts, believing “this is what life is,” and then pulling back and taking in the true surroundings. The surroundings were always here, and so was the consciousness that the game wasn’t reality, but you were so immersed in it you forgot.
In one of these gap experiences I actually found myself saying out loud, “Ohhh! It’s THIS! It’s THIS!” The best I can explain it is that I suddenly noticed something that had always been in the background – always, always, always there for the entirety of my life, but so constant as to be disregarded. It wouldn’t call it mystical, but it was incredibly relieving.
Upon tuning in to it and recognizing it as part of myself, that “background” immediately expanded, rendering all of “Peter’s life stuff” relatively small and insignificant. In that state I remembered that I had previously been afraid that letting go of my “small self” would mean that I’d stop caring about my loved ones. But in this expanded awareness, I saw that this was just a fear my ego came up with, and if anything I was able to love people more completely than ever.
I wish I could say I stayed there forever, but my conditioning crept back in. I was able to see myself, little by little, choosing smaller points of view, picking up my phone for no good reason, and shrinking my field of awareness. But these experiences change us even if they’re not sustained forever. They give us a glimpse that’s not easily forgotten.
So, how do we remember? A good starting point is to ask yourself, What has been with me ALWAYS? Or, Who is that consciousness that has been watching my life, that has been there all along, never departing, even while my body grew and my life circumstances changed?
As Meister Eckhart wrote, “The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me; my eye and God's eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love.” What happens when you try to see the one who’s doing the seeing? What happens when, as Adyashanti says, you “turn Awareness upon itself”?
Here’s to more and longer gaps. And feel free to share about your gap experiences in the comments section.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Opening Up the Gaps in Ordinary Reality
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It was my birthday party in May and before we all started eating, Briana asked if I wanted to say something to my guests. Unbeknownst to them, I had been feeling a nauseous gurgling in my guts all day, so I was trying to hold it together and was caught a bit off guard. But I looked around at this group of shining faces and said the first words that came to me: “Community is medicine. Thank you for being here.” And that was enough.
Immersion in loving community is deeply fortifying, supportive, and uplifting. Studies show that when a suffering person holds someone’s hand, their suffering is reduced. I think the same is true of metaphorically holding many hands through community engagement. And while it’s therapeutic to be seen and held in our challenges, there’s also value in the way that being oriented to our community gives us a break from self-scrutiny and self-indulgence.
Like eating green vegetables or meditating, sometimes we can forget to prioritize community when we’re busy or immersed in a personal struggle. But as some wise person once said, our community is like our muscles. Besides supporting and empowering us, they need to be engaged regularly in order to stay strong. If you neglect your muscles, they get flabby. If you neglect your community, they probably won’t turn their backs on you, but for numerous reasons they won’t be able to support you as well as they could.
From our book, The Well Life, here are some actions you can take to mindfully build your community:
- Ask people for help – whether it be in your garden, with your taxes, or finding a great preschool. Learn what gifts and wisdom those around you have and give them opportunities to share.
- Be involved. Go to local meetings. Participate. Know your community’s plans for the future – and how you fit into them.
- Know the names of people you see often – the grocery cashier, the gas station attendant, the school principal, the guy who takes the same bus as you every day. Allow them to be real people in your life.
- Make eye contact with the humans you pass on the street. Be the one who says “Hi!” first.
- Protect the green spaces.
- Fix something that’s broken – a neighbor’s fence, your niece’s bike, the librarian’s flat tire.
- Support local businesses – even if it costs a little more.
- Learn about others’ traditions and celebrate together. Look for local festivals to attend, even if they’re for an event you wouldn’t normally observe.
- Stick up for someone – a disadvantaged person or population, someone being mistreated or disrespected, or someone who’s unable to stand up for themselves.
- Be curious. Attend lectures at the library, senior center, or local university, check out a high school science fair, and – foremost – learn what cool stuff people are up to in your town. What are people building? What are they learning? Who can tell you about the history of this place?
I want everyone to have the experience of being part of a healthy, loving, supportive community. I hope you’ll engage with your community today and be reminded of how nourishing it is.
Be well,
Peter
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You are amazing. Let’s take it to the next level.
I am always delighted to get unsolicited positive feedback about our books and courses. I save it all in an ever-growing document. Originally, the purpose was to have an easy way to remind myself of the value of my work if I were ever questioning my purpose or having a moment of low self-esteem. Eventually I realized that I don’t build up a tolerance to positive feedback; even if I glanced at these messages every day it wouldn’t stop having a beneficial effect on my consciousness.
When I was last looking at these notes, I was struck by how amazing people are. Yes, they needed some help to get to the next level and they felt our guidance made a difference, but they were invariably awesome to begin with.
While some of them went looking for assistance because of a sense that their lives were dysfunctional, many of them clearly recognized that things were already pretty great – and they also saw room to grow and improve.
One woman wrote to us that she had a thriving clothing import business when she got our Dreambook. In the self-exploration section, she realized she desired an avenue for greater creative expression. She set a goal, identified all the steps involved, followed through, and within a year she was receiving the first shipment of clothes she had designed herself!
Another Dreambook user told us it empowered her to move to Hawaii. She wrote, “My soul thrives there!” For decades she had visited and thought of it as a magical place … but only for vacations. It didn’t seem possible to live there full time. But, she said, “The book asked, ‘What would make life feel ridiculously fun?’ and I wrote, ‘Living in Hawaii’ and suddenly it was on the table and I started facing my excuses.”
She realized the potential quality-of-life impact it could have for her, so she mapped out the logistics. She asked the thriving Dragontree community, “What do you think?” And one by one, all of her obstacles disappeared. “Someone knew of a cool place to live – on a cacao farm! Someone else connected me with a job. Another person was moving from Hawaii back to the mainland to take care of her mother and she gave me all of her furniture – and some chickens!”
What are the critical factors in leveling up? Chances are, you don’t need to win the lottery or receive some other external windfall. It starts with having a vision of what “next level” would look like. The Dreambook provides the framework – all you need to do is fill in the blanks and follow through. Our 2023 edition comes out soon and it’s the best version ever. Check it out here!
Also, I highly recommend keeping some sort of file like the one I described above. Whenever you receive a positive message, whether as an email, text, social media comment, or birthday card . . . copy it, screenshot it, take a picture of it, or print it and stick it in a document, onto or dreamboard, or in a folder. It’s like stocking a medicine cabinet with bottles that will never go empty (plus it won’t upset your stomach).
Be well,
Peter
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