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I believe we need about 364 more celebrations of Thanksgiving in a year, and not because we need more reasons to overeat and watch football. Giving thanks is good for us. Need some proven reasons? Here they are.
- It makes you happier. Numerous studies have shown that expressing gratitude, journaling about what we're grateful for, and paying attention to the good things in our lives makes us feel more happy.
- It improves your relationships. Being aware of what we’re thankful for makes us more helpful and understanding. People who express gratitude for their partner feel more positively about that person. They also tend to feel more comfortable about expressing relationship concerns (so they can get worked out!).
- It increases your self-esteem. A practice of feeling appreciative for our live circumstances tends to make us feel better about ourselves.
- It reduces depression and anxiety. Simply taking the time to write about what they were grateful for resulted in lower rates of depression and anxiety in study participants – even 12 weeks later.
- It enhances brain function. Gratitude exercises have been shown to cause a lasting activation of a part of the brain called the medial prefrontal cortex, associated with higher thought and increased sensitivity.
- It makes you appear more trustworthy to others. When someone regularly expresses gratitude, others interpret this to indicate they are trustworthy and this strengthens social connections.
- It makes you more resilient. When we focus on what we’re thankful for, even during times of hardship, it reinforces feelings of self-trust and helps us to remember the blessings that can’t be lost or taken away.
- It expands the spiritual dimension of your life. Gratitude practices tend to strengthen our spiritual connection, probably because they prompt us to listen, look, and feel more deeply. They may attune us to a benevolent higher power that’s looking out for us, give us perspective of the path we’re on, and help us to see the goodness in what seems unfortunate on the surface.
- It makes you more generous. When we routinely express gratitude, we’re less self-centered and more giving.
- It lowers blood pressure, enhances your sleep, increases your likelihood of exercising, and improves overall health. Don’t put all your eggs in this basket, but regular expressions of gratitude support modest physical health gains.
- It diminishes the weight of your burdens. Focusing on what we appreciate has the simultaneous effect of lessening the intensity of whatever we’re struggling with.
Besides whatever special gains a gratitude practice may have, I feel there’s one main reason to do it, and that’s because life is a gift and each of us has the power to choose how we relate to it. Expressing gratitude is an act of cutting through the illusions that tell us otherwise. It’s about fiercely claiming this truth. It’s about claiming your light and shining it brightly.
Among many other things, I am grateful for all of you who have supported us. I’m grateful to have this forum to explore topics of depth in health, nature, and spirituality. And I’m grateful to be able to do my work in this way and have a positive impact on others’ lives.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Focus on the Good
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If you were birthed by Earth, then every pebble and plant is your sibling.
Last week I wrote about animism, the belief that all things possess a spirit. Animistic cultures are incredibly widespread – chances are, if you didn’t grow up in one, you’re descended from one. But these sensibilities have been largely supplanted by science. Science and spirituality are often at odds, and the science-oriented developed world generally disbelieves in spirituality – especially in a form so different from our monotheistic religions. This might not be a problem if a reductive, nonspiritual orientation met all our needs, but I believe we’ve lost something along the way.
Scientists and animists alike can agree that a rock isn’t biologically alive in quite the same way that, say, a bird is. But the scientist wouldn’t be scientific if they assumed that this means we can’t be in relationship with both. A person who believes a rock doesn’t possess a spirit has no understanding of what life would be like if they did.
The animistic perspective transforms a thing we use into someone we relate to. Our surroundings turn from scenery into family members. Just as it’s relatively easy to perceive the personality of a pet and recognize it as a member of the family, an animist would extend such personhood to all aspects of their world.
Could you be open to experiencing the personality of your favorite tree or stream or mountain? Have you ever felt inexplicably drawn to a certain place in your yard, your home, or the park? It’s where you feel naturally most comfortable, maybe also safer, more focused, even more powerful. What is it that your inner compass is tuning in to?
Beyond the ways in which such an orientation might enrich your subjective experience of your surroundings, there are potentially global repercussions to remembering and being reverent of the spirit of the world – even if we don’t fully embrace the animistic view.
Dr. John Reid of the Ngai Tahu Research Centre in New Zealand explains that when we mistreat the world through disregard for the spirit within, it becomes a vicious circle. Lacking a conscious relationship with nature, we take from pristine resources with no restraint, then we dump our waste back into them. This diminishes what the Maori call its mauri (lifeforce), and the reduction in its vitality makes it less supportive to humans. This willfully ignorant behavior and the hardship that results from it diminishes the mana (dignity / power / authority) of the humans involved.1 The weakened mana of the humans causes them to act in increasingly desperate and irreverent ways, and the cycle continues.
It's possible to transform this situation into a virtuous cycle, but it requires coming into right relationship with our planet. This means humbling ourselves and perhaps taking a cue from animistic cultures. If that sounds good to you, I encourage you to take another week to relate to your surroundings differently than usual.
What happens when you ask before taking? What happens when you give thanks to everything you encounter? What happens when you open yourself to the existence of a spiritual world? What happens when you feel into the dynamic between your body and the elements around you? What happens when you bring greater awareness to the act of consuming something? What happens if you do the same when throwing something away? What happens when you listen?
I believe that bringing consciousness to these relationships yields great benefits. Perhaps we stand to make our planet habitable by humans for longer, but for certain we enrich our mana as we re-weave ourselves into the living tapestry of this exceptional, gorgeous planet.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
1. Informative Maori dictionary here: https://maoridictionary.co.nz/
[post_title] => Fixing Our Relationship with the World and Ourselves
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Optimism is a choice and it’s a possibility that available to all of us. If optimism hasn’t come naturally to you, it’s simply a consequence of habits of thinking which can be changed. Changing the way you think takes focused effort, but it works more quickly than you might guess. Plus, the fast return on your effort helps support your enthusiasm to keep at it.
The Dreambook – the life planner Briana and I created – is an excellent tool for implementing such a change. Simply following the method in the book will make you more optimistic. You’ll be doing things like: identifying your gifts, values, and purpose and consciously bringing them into your daily activities; clarifying your dreams and figuring out what truly makes you feel happy and productive; setting goals, breaking them down into manageable plans, and scheduling those plans in your calendar; prioritizing the things that feed your soul; expressing gratitude; and more.
Besides resulting in great tangible improvements, this structure builds self-trust and a positive outlook. It works.
Beyond the basic processes in the book, you can use its planning, scheduling, and tracking tools to work in scientifically proven tactics for supporting an optimistic mindset. Here are a few to try:
- Do kind things for people every day.
- Print out pictures of friends, family, inspiring people and put them in your space.
- Meditate. It supports peace, positivity, and perspective.
- Avoid negative media (and reduce media consumption overall).
- Spend money on fun and memorable experiences (rather than entirely on stuff)
- Treat your leisure time as a deliberate and purposeful activity. Go all-in, don’t be thinking about the “productive” things you could be doing instead.
- Routinely remind yourself of your strengths. If you can’t readily think of them, ask friends to help you identify them and write them down.
- Cultivate a “growth mindset” – believe in your ability to improve, and see failure as a learning experience.
- Maintain an environment that’s full of humor, happiness, and beauty and take little breaks throughout the day to notice these things.
- When stuck in a mundane task, figure out a way that it’s going to serve a higher purpose. Even if it seems relatively insignificant in itself, what does it enable that’s more important?
- As you begin a task take a moment to expect a positive outcome (using self-talk about your strengths and track record, or simply visualizing things going well). This primes you to perform well and spot opportunities.
- Focus on what’s working well in your life.
- Make a commitment to stop complaining.
- Write down what you’re grateful for daily.
- Give a genuine compliment to someone every day.
- Catch yourself in negative trains of thought; pick up your attention and put it on something else.
- Remember that a hardship is not a sign that everything is going wrong, or that it’s bound to snowball into more hardship. Every day people turn hardship into opportunity.
- Before speaking / posting, ask yourself: (1) Is it true? (2) Is it kind? (3) Is it necessary? (4) What is my purpose? (5) Does it improve upon the silence?
- Slow and deepen your breathing – this helps slow down your mind and promotes more evolved thinking.
- Sit / stand up straight. Don’t slouch.
- Journal about your positive experiences – this grows them and helps them sink in.
- Appreciate small changes in the right direction. Lots of small changes are more likely and more sustainable than one giant change, and they amount to the same degree of change.
- Exercise.
- Exchange touch more often. A hug, a pat on the shoulder, a handshake, a massage – we’re wired to associate welcome touch with feeling safe, calm, and connected.
- Make it harder for yourself to engage in behaviors that don’t serve you (e.g., put the candy out of reach).
- Make it easier for yourself to engage in behaviors that are good for you (e.g., put your exercise equipment in a place that’s easy to access and pre-determine when / where / how you’re going to exercise).
- Prioritize your relationships!
- Don’t get pessimistic by focusing on short-term downward trends; back up far enough to see the broader trend toward betterment.
- Read about the lives of impressive people.
- Believe in human potential, ingenuity, and compassion. We can accomplish incredible things.
Whew! That’s enough to completely revolutionize even the most cynical pessimist’s perspective.
I encourage you to copy/paste or print out that list and stick it in your 2022 Dreambook and work these approaches into your schedule. Pepper your pages with reminders. Give each one a good, consistent shot. Positive people don’t just have a better experience of life, they change the experience of those around them.
You rock,
Peter
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I believe we need about 364 more celebrations of Thanksgiving in a year, and not because we need more reasons to overeat and watch football. Giving thanks is good for us. Need some proven reasons? Here they are.
- It makes you happier. Numerous studies have shown that expressing gratitude, journaling about what we're grateful for, and paying attention to the good things in our lives makes us feel more happy.
- It improves your relationships. Being aware of what we’re thankful for makes us more helpful and understanding. People who express gratitude for their partner feel more positively about that person. They also tend to feel more comfortable about expressing relationship concerns (so they can get worked out!).
- It increases your self-esteem. A practice of feeling appreciative for our live circumstances tends to make us feel better about ourselves.
- It reduces depression and anxiety. Simply taking the time to write about what they were grateful for resulted in lower rates of depression and anxiety in study participants – even 12 weeks later.
- It enhances brain function. Gratitude exercises have been shown to cause a lasting activation of a part of the brain called the medial prefrontal cortex, associated with higher thought and increased sensitivity.
- It makes you appear more trustworthy to others. When someone regularly expresses gratitude, others interpret this to indicate they are trustworthy and this strengthens social connections.
- It makes you more resilient. When we focus on what we’re thankful for, even during times of hardship, it reinforces feelings of self-trust and helps us to remember the blessings that can’t be lost or taken away.
- It expands the spiritual dimension of your life. Gratitude practices tend to strengthen our spiritual connection, probably because they prompt us to listen, look, and feel more deeply. They may attune us to a benevolent higher power that’s looking out for us, give us perspective of the path we’re on, and help us to see the goodness in what seems unfortunate on the surface.
- It makes you more generous. When we routinely express gratitude, we’re less self-centered and more giving.
- It lowers blood pressure, enhances your sleep, increases your likelihood of exercising, and improves overall health. Don’t put all your eggs in this basket, but regular expressions of gratitude support modest physical health gains.
- It diminishes the weight of your burdens. Focusing on what we appreciate has the simultaneous effect of lessening the intensity of whatever we’re struggling with.
Besides whatever special gains a gratitude practice may have, I feel there’s one main reason to do it, and that’s because life is a gift and each of us has the power to choose how we relate to it. Expressing gratitude is an act of cutting through the illusions that tell us otherwise. It’s about fiercely claiming this truth. It’s about claiming your light and shining it brightly.
Among many other things, I am grateful for all of you who have supported us. I’m grateful to have this forum to explore topics of depth in health, nature, and spirituality. And I’m grateful to be able to do my work in this way and have a positive impact on others’ lives.
Be well,
Peter
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