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courage

How to Have a Healthy Relationship With Anger

Previously I wrote about spring and the role of the wood element in our lives (from the perspective of Chinese five element philosophy). We all contain this and the other… Read More

Waking Up to your Expanded Self

Over the past several weeks, I’ve been discussing the 14 primary themes in our book, Rituals for Transformation. It’s a 108-day process with a short lesson each day, designed to… Read More

The Masks We Wear

It’s almost Halloween, a magical time within a pretty magical month. I was looking back through old photos and found this one from 2016 when I let my daughter make… Read More

Who am I and what role do I play in my various communities?

How have I been affected by the genuinely happy people I’ve known?

What do I believe stands between me and being one of those happy people?

What happens when I make a conscious choice of how I’m going to show up in a given setting?

When I give, what do I receive?

How do I feel when I put myself in service to others?

Where could I dedicate myself to more actively resolve any unhealthy patterns of thought, communication, or behavior?

How will I be different as I heal, and how will I affect my community differently as I release my baggage?

When will I choose happiness?

Be well, Peter [post_title] => The Best Thing You Can Do For the World is to Be Genuinely Happy [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => the-best-thing-you-can-do-for-the-world-is-to-be-genuinely-happy [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-07-14 20:31:48 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-07-14 20:31:48 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8701 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 2 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8769 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2022-08-19 19:18:13 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-08-19 19:18:13 [post_content] => Last week I wrote about the many reasons we don’t ask for help, including what I think of the “Lone Ranger complex,” where we believe there’s great merit in doing everything by ourselves. Sure, there’s a sense of accomplishment, but we still get that feeling even when we accomplish something with the help of others. I brought this up because enrollment is currently open for our Sacred Expansion course, which is a group-oriented approach to personal growth. Even though the internal exploration is ultimately up to each of us, we can benefit from being guided through a tried-and-true framework, discussing the experience with people on the same path, and holding hands along the way. Why is it good to do such things with other people? I’m glad you asked. Here are a few reasons.

We see that other people have the same stuff we do. We’re not alone in our weirdness or our struggles. It’s relieving to know that there’s little that you’ve thought, felt, or gone through that someone else out there doesn’t share.
Further, we get to see that most people aren’t alienated by our challenges. While we may tend to fear that the world would disapprove and abandon us if it knew XYZ about us (that we’re insecure, we pick our nose, we aren’t that spiritual, we’re always sucking in our belly, we yell at our kids, we use the code for bulk conventional rice when we actually have a bag of organic rice, we snort bath salts, etc.), the truth is our friends and family are unlikely to be ruffled by any of it. More relief.
We get the opportunity to be seen in our light and reminded of our strengths. While we may be hyper-focused on our problems and faults, others can help remind us that we’re so much more.
We get “borrowed benefits” (to use a term coined by EFT-creator Gary Craig) from witnessing and helping others work through their problems. In the process, our own knots may begin to loosen and/or we may get insights that can be applied to our life.
We get to be of service to others. Giving is receiving. It is as much a gift to us as it is to them.
We learn from others’ reflections of us. The accuracy of self-reflection waxes and wanes, since we’re always seeing ourselves through a certain lens. Sometimes having someone tell us, kindly and truthfully, what they see in us can illuminate our blind spots. It can be difficult to receive this feedback, but may be instrumental in our development.
We get to experience true connection. When operating from our default habits, we often relate to each other through many layers of mental static. What may look like a conversation between two humans could actually be … me acting out a personality I’ve constructed based on what I think is most impressive and approval-worthy, relating not to the real you, but to the mental representation I’ve made of you, based on my stereotypes, stories, and past experience of you (acting through your own filtered self). Miraculously, my true Self and your true Self can find a way to connect through all this fog. It’s therapeutic to do so. And it serves to dismantle all the crap that gets in the way.
It helps cure us of one of the most damaging and widely held beliefs in the world: we’re all separate. The denial of our connectedness, especially combined with the belief that there isn’t enough, is a recipe for suffering. It makes us feel alone, vulnerable, judged, and in competition – rather than collaboration – with the rest of our species. But the more we let others into our life, the less we’re controlled by this belief. This is especially true when we share with others about the very issues that make us feel alone, vulnerable, judged, and in competition.

You may also be interested in:

What Everyone Should Know About Pain

The Best Thing You Can Do For the World is to Be Genuinely Happy

Get By With a Little Help From Your Friends

The Dragontree

courage

How to Have a Healthy Relationship With Anger

Waking Up to your Expanded Self

The Masks We Wear

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