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How to Be More Alive

Last week I began a series on longevity – the factors that have the biggest impact on our lifespan. I started with what I think is most important – living… Read More

What’s Better than Video Games? Peace, Balance, and Perspective.

One of the things I love about Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) is its ability to distill complicated problems down to simple ones. If you were to look in a textbook… Read More

WP_Query Object ( [query] => Array ( [category__in] => Array ( [0] => 23 ) [post__not_in] => Array ( [0] => 7994 ) [posts_per_page] => 50 [ignore_sticky_posts] => 1 [orderby] => desc [_shuffle_and_pick] => 3 ) [query_vars] => Array ( [category__in] => Array ( [0] => 23 ) [post__not_in] => Array ( [0] => 7994 ) [posts_per_page] => 50 [ignore_sticky_posts] => 1 [orderby] => desc [_shuffle_and_pick] => 3 [error] => [m] => [p] => 0 [post_parent] => [subpost] => [subpost_id] => [attachment] => [attachment_id] => 0 [name] => [pagename] => [page_id] => 0 [second] => [minute] => [hour] => [day] => 0 [monthnum] => 0 [year] => 0 [w] => 0 [category_name] => meditation_mindfulness [tag] => [cat] => 23 [tag_id] => [author] => [author_name] => [feed] => [tb] => [paged] => 0 [meta_key] => [meta_value] => [preview] => [s] => [sentence] => [title] => [fields] => [menu_order] => [embed] => [category__not_in] => Array ( ) [category__and] => Array ( ) [post__in] => Array ( ) [post_name__in] => Array ( ) [tag__in] => Array ( ) [tag__not_in] => Array ( ) [tag__and] => Array ( ) [tag_slug__in] => Array ( ) [tag_slug__and] => Array ( ) [post_parent__in] => Array ( ) [post_parent__not_in] => Array ( ) [author__in] => Array ( ) [author__not_in] => Array ( ) [suppress_filters] => [cache_results] => 1 [update_post_term_cache] => 1 [lazy_load_term_meta] => 1 [update_post_meta_cache] => 1 [post_type] => [nopaging] => [comments_per_page] => 50 [no_found_rows] => [order] => DESC ) [tax_query] => WP_Tax_Query Object ( [queries] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [taxonomy] => category [terms] => Array ( [0] => 23 ) [field] => term_id [operator] => IN [include_children] => ) ) [relation] => AND [table_aliases:protected] => Array ( [0] => wp_term_relationships ) [queried_terms] => Array ( [category] => Array ( [terms] => Array ( [0] => 23 ) [field] => term_id ) ) [primary_table] => wp_posts [primary_id_column] => ID ) [meta_query] => WP_Meta_Query Object ( [queries] => Array ( ) [relation] => [meta_table] => [meta_id_column] => [primary_table] => [primary_id_column] => [table_aliases:protected] => Array ( ) [clauses:protected] => Array ( ) [has_or_relation:protected] => ) [date_query] => [request] => SELECT SQL_CALC_FOUND_ROWS wp_posts.ID FROM wp_posts LEFT JOIN wp_term_relationships ON (wp_posts.ID = wp_term_relationships.object_id) WHERE 1=1 AND wp_posts.ID NOT IN (7994) AND ( wp_term_relationships.term_taxonomy_id IN (23) ) AND wp_posts.post_type = 'post' AND (wp_posts.post_status = 'publish' OR wp_posts.post_status = 'acf-disabled') AND ID NOT IN (SELECT `post_id` FROM wp_postmeta WHERE `meta_key` = '_pilotpress_level' AND `meta_value` IN ('','employee') AND `post_id` NOT IN (SELECT `post_id` FROM wp_postmeta WHERE `meta_key` = '_pilotpress_level' AND `meta_value` IN ('' ))) GROUP BY wp_posts.ID ORDER BY wp_posts.post_date DESC LIMIT 0, 50 [posts] => Array ( [0] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 6842 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2017-12-19 16:57:00 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-12-19 16:57:00 [post_content] => As we descend into darkness at this time of year, our attention is naturally drawn to the light. As with many things of value, we notice it more when it seems to be going away. When you illuminate your tree, light the candles in a menorah, or throw a yule log in the fireplace this season, I hope you’ll take the opportunity to meditate on darkness and light. Darkness is a metaphor for all the parts of ourselves and our lives that we fear or resist. We banish these aspects to the shadowy corners of our minds where we can avoid reckoning with them. But rather than remaining contentedly neglected there, they tend to weigh on us, as if we’re being followed by a murky figure or a long-procrastinated task. In this way, they infringe on our freedom. Have you ever felt completely free? Not just in the ability to do or say what you want, but free in the sense that there is nothing you are trying to avoid. Nothing. It is supremely peaceful and powerful. A starting point could be the non-avoidance of anything within the small range of thoughts, feelings, and surroundings in your current experience. The next step is to venture a bit into the darkness. Depending on what you’ve got stored in there, it can feel quite daunting. But the thing the makes all the difference is that you’re allowed to bring a light with you. I happened upon this realization during an involuntary visit to my own darkness, and I’ll bet you’ve had a similar experience – even if you didn’t realize it at the time. For me, the darkness came without a conscious request for it, and there I was, resisting it with all my might, feeling I would never find my way out of it. Suddenly, a little drop of curiosity fell into the dark. There was a tiny impulse that felt different from the fight and despair. There was a part of me that was just a teensy bit curious about the dark. And as I brought my attention to this curiosity, a thought arose: “Where did this come from?” I didn’t get a clear answer to that right away, but I could feel that the question opened something; my consciousness wasn’t wholly dominated by aversion anymore. So I gave myself over to the curiosity. It wanted to venture into the shadows. Like a cat in a room with a box, it couldn’t resist. I saw and felt some unpleasant things, but only a fraction of what lurked in the recesses of my mind was connected in any rational way to my own life. Most of it was fabricated from a vast collection of disturbing thoughts and images – just a lot of “what-ifs.” As in, What if I have to experience [insert undesired scenario here]? As I went deeper, these what-ifs were more existential, like, What if I lose myself? Or, What if I’m wrong about everything? If I let my mind run away with what I encountered, I felt aversion and discomfort again; but as long as I stayed curious and open, I could perceive the insubstantiality of these thoughts and I remained in a state of relative peace. After a while, my attention returned to the curiosity itself and its origin. I was conscious that I was looking into the darkness, but it occurred to me that people can’t see in the dark. Even cats, whose eyeballs are excellent at making the most of a few photons, can’t see in total darkness. So, there had to be a light source here. But where was it? “Where is the light coming from?” I asked inwardly. And this time the answer was clear. It was coming from me. Not from my mind, but from my Higher Self – from that One Awareness that is the same One Awareness that you access whenever you allow your consciousness to expand beyond your thoughts. This realization made the light grow brighter. As I looked into these undesired stories of my shadow self, I began to see lightness even within them. They became less substantial and they started to fall apart, liberating facets of me that I had denied. At the same time, knowing I had this light, the darkness felt less forbidding. I started to experience a certain softness and stillness in it. I pulled back at first, because the stillness was disconcerting. It felt like what I would have imagined death to be. But then I revived my curiosity and stayed with it. And I could perceive the dark stillness as an infinite container, holding everything, and it was the most peaceful thing. Also, I remembered the many accounts of near-death experiences I had read, virtually all of which focus not on darkness but on the presence of light and an inexorable movement toward it. I began to see that this light is a source of freedom. The recognition of one’s light brings an assurance of not needing to avoid anything. This assurance is further bolstered by the recognition that the light isn’t something separate from us. We can forget about it, but we can’t lose it entirely because it’s what we are. As I was coming out of this experience, I saw a succession of memories – times like this when I had been rescued from despair by my own light – and I got an answer to that first question as a word formed in my mind: grace. I hadn’t really understood the meaning of grace before, but here it was. The Divine reaching down into the muck of my confused mind with a candle. During these dim days, I encourage you to be curious about the darkness. Rather than switching on all the lights in your home, let yourself be aware that we’re approaching the Longest of Nights. The world needs to rest, to bask in the stillness. What has been banished to the darkness of your mind, yet nonetheless encroaches on your freedom? Can you enter your darkness? Can you perceive the light you bring with you? As a final note, I’d like to direct you to the continuity of light in human traditions. For millennia, one torch has lit the next. Each Yule log was removed from the hearth before burning completely, so that it could be used to kindle the next log the following year. Similarly, when lighting a menorah, the tallest candle, representing the Divine Light, is ignited first, and from this one the others are lit. When you engage in merry making this year, notice the ways you carry forth a light that was kept alive by those before you. What happens when you stay conscious of your light as you interact with others? Where is your luminescence most needed? Be well, Dr. Peter Borten [post_title] => Lighting the Way [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => lighting-the-way [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2019-07-02 22:45:38 [post_modified_gmt] => 2019-07-02 22:45:38 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://www.thedragontree.com/?p=6842 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 14 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [1] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8116 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2020-11-20 20:51:11 [post_date_gmt] => 2020-11-20 20:51:11 [post_content] => Over the past several weeks, we’ve been looking at the factors that make for a longer, richer, more alive life.: (1) Loving life and living for the present (2) Working, stretching, and relaxing all parts of yourself (3) Dancing with consciousness (4) Reducing media consumption (5) Paying attention to your breathing (6) Eating less (7) Prioritizing community and service (8) Exchanging love and touch. You can read more about all these topics on our blog (there’s a lot more to them than the list you just read!). Today I’ll add a couple more items to the list. #9: Optimize Your Sleep. There are people who live long lives but don’t sleep well or much, but they tend to be outliers. Virtually everyone lives better, if not also longer, with good sleep. One of the leading causes of death has always been accidents and we’re a lot more likely to have them when we’re tired or mentally cloudy. Furthermore, when we’re well rested, we’re more likely to operate from the “evolved human” part of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) – thinking rationally and broadly. When we’re tired, we often default to the primitive “animal brain” and make decisions based on survival, pleasure-seeking, and pain-avoidance. There’s really no substitute for adequate, replenishing sleep. If you want to learn something, you need sleep to imprint what you’re learning in a lasting way. If you want to get stronger, you need sleep to turn all that exercise and protein into muscle tissue. If you want emotional intelligence, patience, and mature communication, you need sleep in order to be non-reactive. If you want optimal performance in anything – music, chess, gymnastics, or foosball – you need sleep to recharge your nervous system. If you want to kick an infection, you need sleep to give your body a chance to do its work without demanding other things from it. #10: Laugh More. When I recommend laughter, I mean two things. First, just laugh more – because it’s fun and it’s good for your body and mind. Listen to stand-up comedy, share jokes, exchange tickles, join a laughing club, choose funny media over bitter. Do whatever it takes for you to have more belly laughs in your life. Second, take a light-hearted attitude toward life. And death. In my opinion, there’s nothing that can’t be laughed at. I don’t mean derisive, mean-spirited laughter. I mean the laughter that comes from the recognition that life is funny, that there is humor in everything – including the seriousness in which so many of us hold everything. And I also mean delighted laughter – the laughter that arises from simply paying attention to how much beauty, magic, and profundity there is. Which leads us to… #11: Keep Your Heart Open. It’s a natural but unfortunate impulse to close our hearts when life is unpleasant – like raising our arms to shield ourselves against an incoming attack. What I mean by “closing our heart” is a subtle contraction around the center of the chest that occurs on multiple levels simultaneously – physical, emotional, and energetic. We do this as an instinctive act of self-preservation, but it becomes a habit of not feeling. Living with a closed heart is like narrowing the spectrum of reality we allow ourselves to experience. For what it’s worth, though, I don’t believe the heart only has two states – open or closed – it’s a range. I recommend consciously living through your heart. Feel through your heart. Breathe through your heart. Listen through your heart. Keep it open even when you’re in pain, even when you’re afraid, even when you’re angry. You can do this just by intending it. Put your attention there, soften, and let it open like a flower. Be well, Peter [post_title] => Three Ways to Invite More Life into Your Life [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => three-ways-to-invite-more-life-into-your-life [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2020-11-20 21:11:27 [post_modified_gmt] => 2020-11-20 21:11:27 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://thedragontree.com/?p=8116 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 6 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7912 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2020-06-24 22:38:34 [post_date_gmt] => 2020-06-24 22:38:34 [post_content] => One of the greatest sources of pain I’ve witnessed during the pandemic is the perception of restricted freedom. There have been some measurable restrictions on our freedoms, like the freedom to gather in large groups, the freedom to enter stores without a mask on, or the freedom to have an open business. There have been some virtual restrictions too, like the freedom to do everyday activities – touching your face, hugging people, shopping, etc. – without the worry of contracting a serious disease. We have control over some aspects of the hardships of pandemic life but not others; I’d like to address what we can control. In my opinion, the majority of this pain comes from illusions of constraint. And one of the main ways we perpetuate such illusions is through judgment. There are micro-judgments and macro-judgments. They’re not really different, but the macro judgments tend to be bigger, more conscious stances you’ve taken on people, events, issues, etc. If someone were to ask what you think about Donald Trump or Star Trek or cilantro, your judgments would probably be evident. Micro-judgments are harder to see and generally harder to change since they’re part of the fundamental nature of the mind, they’re happening constantly, and they’re often subconscious. The mind labels and judges as good or bad nearly everything we experience. “This habit of categorizing and judging our experience locks us into automatic reactions that we are not even aware of and that often have no objective basis at all,” writes Jon Kabat-Zinn in Full Catastrophe Living. “These judgments tend to dominate our minds, making it difficult for us ever to find any peace within ourselves or to develop any discernment as to what may actually be going on, inwardly or outwardly.” We’re rarely aware of how much we judge and how this impacts us. For each thing we judge as bad there tends to be some form of closing, aversion, or resistance. We might experience this as a subtle (or not so subtle) bodily feeling of tension. The judgmental thought might give rise to other contractive thoughts such as: No. I don’t like it. I’m not that way. That’s not fair. Life / the world shouldn’t be this way. This is wrong / bad. I can’t tolerate this. To the extent that these judgments fill our consciousness (and go unchallenged) we experience that much less freedom. Even the things we judge as good can spur a similar kind of constraint as subconscious thoughts arise like: I want it always to be like this. I don’t want this to end. Why can’t it always be this way? What’s wrong with me that I’m not enjoying this as much as I think I should? Thus, even encounters with things we like can have a contractive effect on us when judgment takes hold and we give ourselves over to it. When it comes to our experience of freedom, imagined restrictions might as well be metal shackles. The good news is that our judgments can be challenged, transcended, or compassionately witnessed without letting them influence us. The bad news is that this takes work and most of us are in the lazy habit of letting our mind run the show. My mentor Matt Garrigan used to say, “You are not your mind. You have a mind.” Like so many spiritual truths, it’s basically worthless as an intellectual concept to chew on. It only works when you start living it, and then it’s life changing. You might begin with an openness to the possibility that what your mind has to say is neither true nor important. But most minds will argue strongly against not being the center of your attention, so it’s often best to lead with awareness itself rather than thoughts about thoughts. You just sit, breathe naturally, and watch your thoughts – many of them judgments – come and go. If you don’t attach to them, don’t engage with them, don’t try to stop them, don’t judge them, and don’t resist them, you eventually begin to experience that you are not your mind. And this is freedom. It’s often called cultivating the witness state. I like to call it practicing innocence. The basis for making judgments is the assumption that we know. If we’re going to judge every facet of life, we must believe we’re qualified to do so, and this feeds our sense of self-importance and inflates the ego, making it all the more judgy. Innocence is relinquishing our position as judge, admitting we may not have the qualifications, and being open to a reality that we haven’t predefined for ourselves. Innocence doesn’t imply naivety, and non-judgment isn’t a lack of discernment. In fact, it’s only when we drop all our prejudices that we’re able to see the truth. If anything, it’s naïve to always think we already know. It’s arrogant to believe we can hear the truth if we only listen to our own inner commentary. And it’s foolhardy to put more stock in our mind – a device we created – than in pure experience. When we’re scared or stressed it’s more difficult to practice innocence, and we can get even more judgy than usual. Right now there’s a lot of judgment about whether people are wearing masks or not, about social distancing, about how everyone is dealing with racism, about the great uncertainty of the future. I invite all of us to notice these judgments, to take a deep breath, and to let them go for now. Can you feel the slight increase in "breathing room" that happens? Imagine how much freer you’d be if you released judgments all the time and the habit of automatically believing them began to disappear. What’s your experience with judgment and innocence? What happens when you let your inner judge direct you? What happens when you just notice these judgments and your reactions to them? Who are you when you expand into that Awareness that witnesses and contains the mind? Share with our community in the comments section below. Be well, Peter [post_title] => Suspending Judgment [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => suspending-judgement [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2020-06-29 18:20:59 [post_modified_gmt] => 2020-06-29 18:20:59 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://thedragontree.com/?p=7912 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 14 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) ) [post_count] => 3 [current_post] => -1 [in_the_loop] => [post] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 6842 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2017-12-19 16:57:00 [post_date_gmt] => 2017-12-19 16:57:00 [post_content] => As we descend into darkness at this time of year, our attention is naturally drawn to the light. As with many things of value, we notice it more when it seems to be going away. When you illuminate your tree, light the candles in a menorah, or throw a yule log in the fireplace this season, I hope you’ll take the opportunity to meditate on darkness and light. Darkness is a metaphor for all the parts of ourselves and our lives that we fear or resist. We banish these aspects to the shadowy corners of our minds where we can avoid reckoning with them. But rather than remaining contentedly neglected there, they tend to weigh on us, as if we’re being followed by a murky figure or a long-procrastinated task. In this way, they infringe on our freedom. Have you ever felt completely free? Not just in the ability to do or say what you want, but free in the sense that there is nothing you are trying to avoid. Nothing. It is supremely peaceful and powerful. A starting point could be the non-avoidance of anything within the small range of thoughts, feelings, and surroundings in your current experience. The next step is to venture a bit into the darkness. Depending on what you’ve got stored in there, it can feel quite daunting. But the thing the makes all the difference is that you’re allowed to bring a light with you. I happened upon this realization during an involuntary visit to my own darkness, and I’ll bet you’ve had a similar experience – even if you didn’t realize it at the time. For me, the darkness came without a conscious request for it, and there I was, resisting it with all my might, feeling I would never find my way out of it. Suddenly, a little drop of curiosity fell into the dark. There was a tiny impulse that felt different from the fight and despair. There was a part of me that was just a teensy bit curious about the dark. And as I brought my attention to this curiosity, a thought arose: “Where did this come from?” I didn’t get a clear answer to that right away, but I could feel that the question opened something; my consciousness wasn’t wholly dominated by aversion anymore. So I gave myself over to the curiosity. It wanted to venture into the shadows. Like a cat in a room with a box, it couldn’t resist. I saw and felt some unpleasant things, but only a fraction of what lurked in the recesses of my mind was connected in any rational way to my own life. Most of it was fabricated from a vast collection of disturbing thoughts and images – just a lot of “what-ifs.” As in, What if I have to experience [insert undesired scenario here]? As I went deeper, these what-ifs were more existential, like, What if I lose myself? Or, What if I’m wrong about everything? If I let my mind run away with what I encountered, I felt aversion and discomfort again; but as long as I stayed curious and open, I could perceive the insubstantiality of these thoughts and I remained in a state of relative peace. After a while, my attention returned to the curiosity itself and its origin. I was conscious that I was looking into the darkness, but it occurred to me that people can’t see in the dark. Even cats, whose eyeballs are excellent at making the most of a few photons, can’t see in total darkness. So, there had to be a light source here. But where was it? “Where is the light coming from?” I asked inwardly. And this time the answer was clear. It was coming from me. Not from my mind, but from my Higher Self – from that One Awareness that is the same One Awareness that you access whenever you allow your consciousness to expand beyond your thoughts. This realization made the light grow brighter. As I looked into these undesired stories of my shadow self, I began to see lightness even within them. They became less substantial and they started to fall apart, liberating facets of me that I had denied. At the same time, knowing I had this light, the darkness felt less forbidding. I started to experience a certain softness and stillness in it. I pulled back at first, because the stillness was disconcerting. It felt like what I would have imagined death to be. But then I revived my curiosity and stayed with it. And I could perceive the dark stillness as an infinite container, holding everything, and it was the most peaceful thing. Also, I remembered the many accounts of near-death experiences I had read, virtually all of which focus not on darkness but on the presence of light and an inexorable movement toward it. I began to see that this light is a source of freedom. The recognition of one’s light brings an assurance of not needing to avoid anything. This assurance is further bolstered by the recognition that the light isn’t something separate from us. We can forget about it, but we can’t lose it entirely because it’s what we are. As I was coming out of this experience, I saw a succession of memories – times like this when I had been rescued from despair by my own light – and I got an answer to that first question as a word formed in my mind: grace. I hadn’t really understood the meaning of grace before, but here it was. The Divine reaching down into the muck of my confused mind with a candle. During these dim days, I encourage you to be curious about the darkness. Rather than switching on all the lights in your home, let yourself be aware that we’re approaching the Longest of Nights. The world needs to rest, to bask in the stillness. What has been banished to the darkness of your mind, yet nonetheless encroaches on your freedom? Can you enter your darkness? Can you perceive the light you bring with you? As a final note, I’d like to direct you to the continuity of light in human traditions. For millennia, one torch has lit the next. Each Yule log was removed from the hearth before burning completely, so that it could be used to kindle the next log the following year. Similarly, when lighting a menorah, the tallest candle, representing the Divine Light, is ignited first, and from this one the others are lit. When you engage in merry making this year, notice the ways you carry forth a light that was kept alive by those before you. What happens when you stay conscious of your light as you interact with others? Where is your luminescence most needed? Be well, Dr. Peter Borten [post_title] => Lighting the Way [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => lighting-the-way [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2019-07-02 22:45:38 [post_modified_gmt] => 2019-07-02 22:45:38 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://www.thedragontree.com/?p=6842 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 14 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [comment_count] => 0 [current_comment] => -1 [found_posts] => 61 [max_num_pages] => 2 [max_num_comment_pages] => 0 [is_single] => [is_preview] => [is_page] => [is_archive] => 1 [is_date] => [is_year] => [is_month] => [is_day] => [is_time] => [is_author] => [is_category] => 1 [is_tag] => [is_tax] => [is_search] => [is_feed] => [is_comment_feed] => [is_trackback] => [is_home] => [is_privacy_policy] => [is_404] => [is_embed] => [is_paged] => [is_admin] => [is_attachment] => [is_singular] => [is_robots] => [is_favicon] => [is_posts_page] => [is_post_type_archive] => [query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => 6cc49ef4bc106a045d4174c852b8d81b [query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] => [thumbnails_cached] => [stopwords:WP_Query:private] => [compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array ( [0] => query_vars_hash [1] => query_vars_changed ) [compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array ( [0] => init_query_flags [1] => parse_tax_query ) )

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