WP_Query Object
(
[query] => Array
(
[category__in] => Array
(
[0] => 23
[1] => 1
[2] => 64
)
[post__not_in] => Array
(
[0] => 6946
)
[posts_per_page] => 50
[ignore_sticky_posts] => 1
[orderby] => desc
[_shuffle_and_pick] => 3
)
[query_vars] => Array
(
[category__in] => Array
(
[0] => 23
[1] => 1
[2] => 64
)
[post__not_in] => Array
(
[0] => 6946
)
[posts_per_page] => 50
[ignore_sticky_posts] => 1
[orderby] => desc
[_shuffle_and_pick] => 3
[error] =>
[m] =>
[p] => 0
[post_parent] =>
[subpost] =>
[subpost_id] =>
[attachment] =>
[attachment_id] => 0
[name] =>
[pagename] =>
[page_id] => 0
[second] =>
[minute] =>
[hour] =>
[day] => 0
[monthnum] => 0
[year] => 0
[w] => 0
[category_name] => meditation_mindfulness
[tag] =>
[cat] => 23
[tag_id] =>
[author] =>
[author_name] =>
[feed] =>
[tb] =>
[paged] => 0
[meta_key] =>
[meta_value] =>
[preview] =>
[s] =>
[sentence] =>
[title] =>
[fields] =>
[menu_order] =>
[embed] =>
[category__not_in] => Array
(
)
[category__and] => Array
(
)
[post__in] => Array
(
)
[post_name__in] => Array
(
)
[tag__in] => Array
(
)
[tag__not_in] => Array
(
)
[tag__and] => Array
(
)
[tag_slug__in] => Array
(
)
[tag_slug__and] => Array
(
)
[post_parent__in] => Array
(
)
[post_parent__not_in] => Array
(
)
[author__in] => Array
(
)
[author__not_in] => Array
(
)
[search_columns] => Array
(
)
[suppress_filters] =>
[cache_results] => 1
[update_post_term_cache] => 1
[update_menu_item_cache] =>
[lazy_load_term_meta] => 1
[update_post_meta_cache] => 1
[post_type] =>
[nopaging] =>
[comments_per_page] => 50
[no_found_rows] =>
[order] => DESC
)
[tax_query] => WP_Tax_Query Object
(
[queries] => Array
(
[0] => Array
(
[taxonomy] => category
[terms] => Array
(
[0] => 23
[1] => 1
[2] => 64
)
[field] => term_id
[operator] => IN
[include_children] =>
)
)
[relation] => AND
[table_aliases:protected] => Array
(
[0] => wp_term_relationships
)
[queried_terms] => Array
(
[category] => Array
(
[terms] => Array
(
[0] => 23
[1] => 1
[2] => 64
)
[field] => term_id
)
)
[primary_table] => wp_posts
[primary_id_column] => ID
)
[meta_query] => WP_Meta_Query Object
(
[queries] => Array
(
)
[relation] =>
[meta_table] =>
[meta_id_column] =>
[primary_table] =>
[primary_id_column] =>
[table_aliases:protected] => Array
(
)
[clauses:protected] => Array
(
)
[has_or_relation:protected] =>
)
[date_query] =>
[request] =>
SELECT SQL_CALC_FOUND_ROWS wp_posts.ID
FROM wp_posts LEFT JOIN wp_term_relationships ON (wp_posts.ID = wp_term_relationships.object_id)
WHERE 1=1 AND wp_posts.ID NOT IN (6946) AND (
wp_term_relationships.term_taxonomy_id IN (1,23,64)
) AND ((wp_posts.post_type = 'post' AND (wp_posts.post_status = 'publish' OR wp_posts.post_status = 'acf-disabled')))
AND ID NOT IN
(SELECT `post_id` FROM wp_postmeta
WHERE `meta_key` = '_pilotpress_level'
AND `meta_value` IN ('','employee')
AND `post_id` NOT IN
(SELECT `post_id` FROM wp_postmeta
WHERE `meta_key` = '_pilotpress_level'
AND `meta_value` IN ('' )))
GROUP BY wp_posts.ID
ORDER BY wp_posts.post_date DESC
LIMIT 0, 50
[posts] => Array
(
[0] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 8729
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2022-08-12 19:45:02
[post_date_gmt] => 2022-08-12 19:45:02
[post_content] =>
As a young adult living in Western Massachusetts, I had a handful of friends who attended Hampshire College. Hampshire is well known for being highly unconventional. There are no majors, no departments, and no grades. So much of the program is up to the student, including a final yearlong project. I could see why it was appealing, especially to people who didn’t seem to fit into typical academic institutions.
When I first heard these friends talk of the wonderfully freeform nature of their college experience, I was envious. In later years, as they found it increasingly challenging to keep themselves on course, I remember saying, “That kind of program wouldn’t work for me.” I realized, with no shame at all, that I needed way (way) more hand-holding. Only one of my Hampshire friends graduated. I guess they needed more hand-holding too.
There are a number of reasons we avoid getting help or taking direction:
- We’re too proud to admit we need help.
- We’re afraid of opening up, being vulnerable, or appearing weak.
- We think nobody is capable of helping us.
- We don’t want to be controlled or guided in a way we don’t like.
- We don’t want to be told what to do.
- We don’t want to be a burden.
- We don’t want to share the credit.
- We feel it’s less of an accomplishment if we get help.
- We believe we need to do things all by ourselves.
This last one is a common inherited belief, though nearly every impressive historical figure had a team of supporters. Yes, there’s a grain of truth to it: each of us is responsible for ourselves, our choices and actions. Each of us is responsible for how we show up in the world. Nobody can do the internal work for us. But it’s perfectly okay to get tons of help along the way. It doesn’t diminish the outcome. In fact, we connect and improve through the process when we let others in. This is true even when it comes to healing and spirituality. It’s time to let go of the “Lone Ranger complex.”
Guidance and mutual support are an important part of why our program, Sacred Expansion, has been so successful. We created Sacred Expansion as a prerequisite for our life coaching trainees, as we feel it’s important to “clean house” before guiding others. It was designed to help people get to know themselves more deeply, release old unhealthy patterns, and open to a state of greater intuition and trust – all within a group of others on the same journey.
It turned out to be so monumental for our early participants that we decided to make Sacred Expansion available as a stand-alone course. Enrollment is happening NOW! You’ll be lovingly led by my wife, Briana, through an exploration of yourself through the metaphors of the seasons. And you’ll come out of it with greater clarity and self-awareness, less baggage, a deeper connection to Spirit, and the tools to continue the process on your own. I encourage you to do it!
Also, I recommend you look back at that list of reasons we avoid getting help and see if there are any that ring a bell for you. If so, consider the following questions. Is this belief true? (E.g., Is it true that nobody could help me? Is it true that if I asked for help, it would compromise me in some critical way? Is it true that it’s less of an accomplishment if I get help?) And then meditate on what life might be like if you felt completely at ease and unembarrassed about asking for help and graciously receiving it?
Be well,
Peter
P.S. Early Bird pricing for Sacred Expansion is currently in progress. Sign up today and save $200! On August 17th, the price goes up, so if you want to join us, don't miss this opportunity!
Click here to enroll today!
[post_title] => Why Don't We Get The Help We Need?
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => why-dont-we-get-the-help-we-need
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2022-08-12 20:32:11
[post_modified_gmt] => 2022-08-12 20:32:11
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8729
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 0
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[1] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 8816
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2022-09-15 21:32:32
[post_date_gmt] => 2022-09-15 21:32:32
[post_content] =>
When we read about historical figures or people in the news, it’s easy to get the message that it’s big things that make a life exceptional, that the individuals who climb Mount Everest, develop a vaccine, or save a species from the brink of extinction are defining greatness for us all. If that’s what you feel called to do, I don’t want to lower the bar for you. I love massive achievements that benefit the common welfare!
But I also want to put in a good word for the consistent accomplishment of small things. Over a lifetime, this, too, can amount to something exceptional.
I’ve treated a number of patients with huge accomplishments under their belts – founders and CEOs of giant companies, inventors, professional athletes, artists, musicians, and authors. Clearly, they derived satisfaction from those big successes, but the day-to-day ingredients of happiness are the same for them as for anyone else. And, in general, I wouldn’t say they were happier or more satisfied with their lives than most people.
These ingredients are things like: connection with people, animals, nature, and Spirit; savoring food, music, and beauty; serving others and contributing to one’s community; completing meaningful tasks; learning and bettering oneself; and being present with the here and now so that we feel the magic of it. These “small things” aren’t highly visible, but they amount to so much.
This is one of the main reasons Briana and I started to create our own planner about a decade ago. We had always relied on planners, but found that traditional planners caused us to focus mainly on appointments and tasks. That’s what they’re for, right?
Appointments and tasks are useful, of course, but if this is what we fill our planner with, our life map can easily become defined by the things we need to get done. We wanted to create something that would (1) encourage us to define and adhere to an overarching vision and plan for our life (so that we’d consciously relate to our appointments and tasks as contributing to that plan), and (2) help us to prioritize the vital ingredients mentioned above.
Thus, the Dreambook was born. Through tools like Habit Tracking, Rituals for Thriving, defining your gifts, values, and purpose, and getting crystal clear on the aspects of life that truly nourish you, you can start to move these elements to the forefront – rather than the “extra credit” status they may currently occupy.
We can’t all devote our lives to world-famous-level accomplishments, but it’s important to recognize that the big stuff is dependent on the little stuff. If everyone wanted to be Elon Musk, who would be left to teach our children or nurse the sick? But if we all align our tasks with a broader vision of mutual evolution and wellness while consistently dedicating ourselves to the “small” but virtuous ingredients mentioned above, this will change the world a whole lot faster.
Use the Dreambook to help contextualize your work and interests within the bigger picture of who you want to be and what kind of world you want to live in, and then use the book and the Dragontree online community to help you stay on track. We’re here for you!
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => The Main Ingredients in a High Level Quality of Life
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => the-main-ingredients-in-a-high-level-quality-of-life
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2022-09-15 21:34:36
[post_modified_gmt] => 2022-09-15 21:34:36
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8816
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 0
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[2] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 8962
[post_author] => 5
[post_date] => 2023-02-23 17:30:14
[post_date_gmt] => 2023-02-23 17:30:14
[post_content] =>
Last week I wrote about giving away our power, and how it’s more common and subtle than we might think. We looked at some of the many ways people give their power to other people, and explored why doing so is more of a burden than a gift. In short, when we give our power to another, both parties are usually unaware of the transfer. The result is that the giver treats the recipient as being responsible for their own (the giver’s) happiness, stability, or whatever else they subconsciously traded for.
It’s not unusual for relationships to involve a two-way power trade, with both members acting powerless and blaming the other. For this reason, it’s important to not only reclaim your own power but to also give others back their power.
Because the trauma of scarcity is so deeply woven into our history, we tend to feel that more of anything is better. Thus, we may be reluctant to give someone back their power, and/or we may feel that it’s unkind to take back our power from someone we love (especially our children). So, let me reiterate something I said last time: each individual’s personal power is theirs alone. It doesn’t benefit others to give them your power and it doesn’t benefit you to have theirs. If anything, it makes the relationship unclean. Taking back your power will never weaken the other party; it just promotes greater freedom for both of you.
Here are some practical steps for reclaiming your power (and letting others do the same). If you have our workbook, Freedom, you’ll find it very helpful during this process.
1. Don't look to others to define your self-worth. Your worth is your worth – one incredible human life – the same as everyone else. It has nothing to do with your abilities, acquisitions, or looks.
2. Practice being okay with having different views, tastes, and choices than your peers and loved ones.
3. Practice letting go of wanting to be liked or approved of by everyone. Yes, it can be uncomfortable. Feel into that discomfort without letting it push you to give away your power.
4. Establish healthy boundaries. Don’t automatically say yes. Don’t get sucked into drama. Find your center.
5. Forgive. One of the biggest power suckers is resentment. Forgive others and forgive yourself (including for having given away your power). It’s not usually a single act but an ongoing commitment to keep forgiving.
6. Know your needs and values. Beneath every conflict there is a need/value.
7. Don't try to fix people. If you have trouble with this, consider this: Are you absolutely certain that you know what’s best for them? Have you asked them if they want your hep?
8. Learn to help, care, and love without giving away your power.
9. Be responsible for the story you tell yourself about life and your place in it.
10. Discover the identities you’ve taken on (victim, helper, life of the party, supermom, etc.), and evaluate whether they serve you.
11. When you’re angry or upset about something someone did or said, and/or if you find yourself thinking obsessively about them (positively or negatively), always check in: have you given them your power?
Now for the woo-woo part, which is just as important:
12. Learn what power loss and entanglement feel like. Learn what it feels like to be clean with your power. As you become increasingly familiar with the difference, you’ll know when repair is in order. This is easier said than done, but becomes increasingly clear when you practice the steps above and the following ceremony. Again, routinely doing a somatic practice like what we teach in Freedom is a great way to hone your sensitivity and familiarity with the felt sense of your power.
As a general guideline, when your power is entangled with another’s, you’re likely to feel something other than good and solid in yourself when you’re with them or thinking about them. You may feel a certain neediness toward them, as if you’re less than whole. You may feel overly affected by whatever they say and do. You may feel destabilized by them. You may feel tired. You may feel self-conscious. You may experience the idea of them as an irritant in your system.
13. Perform a ceremony of taking back your power and giving others theirs. It can be quick and easy. Imagine a pipe or tube connecting you and them. First you’re going to take back your power. Say or intend something like this: “Show me any fragments of my power that are in their energetic field.” And imagine these bits of power light up, like a bunch of fireflies (or however else they naturally appear to you).
Next, say or intend something like, “I’m sorry for giving you my power without your consent. I release you.” Then call your power back to you. Unlatch from the other person in all the places you’re hooked on. Imagine there’s a filter in the middle of the tube connecting the two of you, and the filter’s purpose is to only let what’s yours pass through to you. With each inhale, imagine you’re drawing back your power, pulling it out of them and into yourself. With each exhale, imagine that you’re re-incorporating this power within yourself and consolidating it into the central axis of your body. Do this for a few breaths until it feels complete.
Step two is to return anything of theirs that you’re carrying around. Ask for their energy to show itself and to unlatch from you. Then imagine the filter is reversed so that it only lets their energy pass through to them, without allowing any of your power to leave. As you relax and open yourself, imagine with each exhale that you are giving them back everything that’s theirs. Imagine With each inhale, imagine your own power is drawn toward the central axis of your head, neck, and torso, becoming a bright, strong column of light. Exhale again, releasing their energy back to them, and continue until you feel complete.
How do you feel? It’s not uncommon to notice that you feel instantly calmer and clearer when things are set straight in this way. Next time we’ll talk about the other form of power sacrifice I mentioned in the previous article (ignoring, denying, or failing to recognize our own power and agency).
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => How to Take Back the Power You’ve Given to Others (13 Steps)
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => how-to-take-back-the-power
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2023-03-07 21:54:37
[post_modified_gmt] => 2023-03-07 21:54:37
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8962
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 0
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
)
[post_count] => 3
[current_post] => -1
[before_loop] => 1
[in_the_loop] =>
[post] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 8729
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2022-08-12 19:45:02
[post_date_gmt] => 2022-08-12 19:45:02
[post_content] =>
As a young adult living in Western Massachusetts, I had a handful of friends who attended Hampshire College. Hampshire is well known for being highly unconventional. There are no majors, no departments, and no grades. So much of the program is up to the student, including a final yearlong project. I could see why it was appealing, especially to people who didn’t seem to fit into typical academic institutions.
When I first heard these friends talk of the wonderfully freeform nature of their college experience, I was envious. In later years, as they found it increasingly challenging to keep themselves on course, I remember saying, “That kind of program wouldn’t work for me.” I realized, with no shame at all, that I needed way (way) more hand-holding. Only one of my Hampshire friends graduated. I guess they needed more hand-holding too.
There are a number of reasons we avoid getting help or taking direction:
- We’re too proud to admit we need help.
- We’re afraid of opening up, being vulnerable, or appearing weak.
- We think nobody is capable of helping us.
- We don’t want to be controlled or guided in a way we don’t like.
- We don’t want to be told what to do.
- We don’t want to be a burden.
- We don’t want to share the credit.
- We feel it’s less of an accomplishment if we get help.
- We believe we need to do things all by ourselves.
This last one is a common inherited belief, though nearly every impressive historical figure had a team of supporters. Yes, there’s a grain of truth to it: each of us is responsible for ourselves, our choices and actions. Each of us is responsible for how we show up in the world. Nobody can do the internal work for us. But it’s perfectly okay to get tons of help along the way. It doesn’t diminish the outcome. In fact, we connect and improve through the process when we let others in. This is true even when it comes to healing and spirituality. It’s time to let go of the “Lone Ranger complex.”
Guidance and mutual support are an important part of why our program, Sacred Expansion, has been so successful. We created Sacred Expansion as a prerequisite for our life coaching trainees, as we feel it’s important to “clean house” before guiding others. It was designed to help people get to know themselves more deeply, release old unhealthy patterns, and open to a state of greater intuition and trust – all within a group of others on the same journey.
It turned out to be so monumental for our early participants that we decided to make Sacred Expansion available as a stand-alone course. Enrollment is happening NOW! You’ll be lovingly led by my wife, Briana, through an exploration of yourself through the metaphors of the seasons. And you’ll come out of it with greater clarity and self-awareness, less baggage, a deeper connection to Spirit, and the tools to continue the process on your own. I encourage you to do it!
Also, I recommend you look back at that list of reasons we avoid getting help and see if there are any that ring a bell for you. If so, consider the following questions. Is this belief true? (E.g., Is it true that nobody could help me? Is it true that if I asked for help, it would compromise me in some critical way? Is it true that it’s less of an accomplishment if I get help?) And then meditate on what life might be like if you felt completely at ease and unembarrassed about asking for help and graciously receiving it?
Be well,
Peter
P.S. Early Bird pricing for Sacred Expansion is currently in progress. Sign up today and save $200! On August 17th, the price goes up, so if you want to join us, don't miss this opportunity!
Click here to enroll today!
[post_title] => Why Don't We Get The Help We Need?
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => why-dont-we-get-the-help-we-need
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2022-08-12 20:32:11
[post_modified_gmt] => 2022-08-12 20:32:11
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8729
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 0
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[comment_count] => 0
[current_comment] => -1
[found_posts] => 370
[max_num_pages] => 8
[max_num_comment_pages] => 0
[is_single] =>
[is_preview] =>
[is_page] =>
[is_archive] => 1
[is_date] =>
[is_year] =>
[is_month] =>
[is_day] =>
[is_time] =>
[is_author] =>
[is_category] => 1
[is_tag] =>
[is_tax] =>
[is_search] =>
[is_feed] =>
[is_comment_feed] =>
[is_trackback] =>
[is_home] =>
[is_privacy_policy] =>
[is_404] =>
[is_embed] =>
[is_paged] =>
[is_admin] =>
[is_attachment] =>
[is_singular] =>
[is_robots] =>
[is_favicon] =>
[is_posts_page] =>
[is_post_type_archive] =>
[query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => 39e3716d26061bca8676d38eb617bc9d
[query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] =>
[thumbnails_cached] =>
[allow_query_attachment_by_filename:protected] =>
[stopwords:WP_Query:private] =>
[compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => query_vars_hash
[1] => query_vars_changed
)
[compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => init_query_flags
[1] => parse_tax_query
)
)