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[post_content] => Among the 12 animals of the Chinese zodiac, the ox is probably the hardest working. Oxen are bred to put in day after day after day of manual labor – plowing, pulling carts, towing water, threshing grain, and more. Without the ox, countless humans would have died of starvation over the past few millennia. They have been incredible allies in human development.
What that means in Chinese astrology is that the coming year (beginning on February 11th) is one in which hard work, honesty, and discipline will be rewarded. Just think of a vast agricultural field – row after perfect row plowed in steady, unwavering lines. 2021 is a good year to emulate such a steady and methodical approach to life. In return, it’s said that we can expect a year that’s much more harmonious, calm, and predictable than 2020.
Given the ox’s power, stamina, and purpose, the year of the Metal Ox is also predicted to be one of reconstruction and order, when much of the conflict and confusion of the previous year can be healed. A strong, new foundation can be built. Work is required, and it may be harder work than we’re accustomed to. Also, like beasts of burden, we may feel the weight of our responsibilities more heavily than usual. However, we can rest assured that if we stay the course, it will pay off. Finances will return, family and social order will return, and like the ox, we’ll feel perpetually grounded in the solid earth beneath our feet.
It’s a great year to be organized and follow a consistent routine. One way is to commit to a structured practice for the work you need to do in your life. I recommend our Sacred Expansion course. Sacred expansion is an eight-week journey of personal growth that’s empowering, supportive, and filled with so much heart. During this course, you’ll receive a video lesson emailed every other day for eight weeks. Each lesson will be accompanied by reflective questions to journal, meditation practices or other exercises to help you clear baggage and tune into your inner compass. Having these instructions every other day allows you to turn this into a devotional practice. If you’ve had trouble creating discipline for yourself, this is a really helpful and pleasurable way to make space for it.
It's hard work, and its also the best kind of work. Work that will transform you.
Some of my favorite words on work come from Kalil Gibran. I can barely decide which ones to share, but here are a few:
When you work you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music . . . .
Always you have been told that work is a curse and labor a misfortune.
But I say to you that when you work you fulfill a part of the earth’s furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born,
And in keeping yourself with labour you are in truth loving life,
And to love life through labour is to be intimate with life’s inmost secret.
So don’t be daunted by the promise of work ahead. We can do it and we’ll all be the better for it.
A last word from my friend Karim: another way to look at OX is that it represents hugs (O) and kisses (X), so let’s all intend to be sharing many of both with our friends, family, teachers, mail carriers, baristas, bus drivers, garbage collectors, etc., very soon.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Year of the Ox: When Hard Work Pays Off
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[post_content] => A few years ago, my wife and I were at a school meeting and the teacher, a seasoned elder, was telling the parents about the various challenges our kids were facing. As we concluded she said, “You’ve got great kids. The thing is . . .” She paused and seemed hesitant, and then set her jaw and continued, “Look, I don’t mean to offend anyone, and I hope you’ll take this the right way because it’s important. Your kids lack grit.” As she scanned our faces, I think she wanted to say that many of us adults lacked grit too.
We still have certain hardships today, but because life is undoubtedly easier for most people, it’s quite possible to live a normal lifespan with very little grit. Although this grit deficiency is widespread among modern people, the upside is that we generally have higher emotional intelligence than our ancestors did.
There’s a big difference between managing intense emotions because we’re emotionally intelligent versus being unaffected by emotions because we don’t feel them. Grit often goes along with emotional suppression, which was probably a more common coping mechanism in previous generations, in part because we just didn’t talk about our feelings much. The downside was a narrowed experience of life and lots of dysfunctional relationships.
My point is that what we call “grit” often comes at a high price. But grit and emotional intelligence aren’t mutually exclusive qualities. We can be tough without being shut down emotionally. In fact, the better we understand our emotional landscape, the more resilient we are, the healthier our supportive relationships are, and the less daunting it is to step out of our comfort zone.
The cultivation of both grit and emotional intelligence requires a willingness to be uncomfortable. When you think of a person with grit perhaps you imagine them sleeping on the ground, plodding through snow in order to deliver the mail, getting thrown off a horse and climbing back on, or having to use non-organic soymilk in their latte. (Soymilk is almost synonymous with grit, am I right? 😉)
We’d be best served with a combination of both qualities. Grit without emotional intelligence implies a person who can be tough and tenacious, but won’t get to fully experience the journey and rewards of whatever they invest their grit into pursuing. As for emotional intelligence without grit, a person may fully understand what they’re feeling but be unable to stand up to their emotions when they threaten to take over, nor to stand up and say what needs to be said in order to clear the air, maintain integrity, and honor their boundaries.
One silver lining of this pandemic is that I've seen more emotionally intelligent grit in people than ever. It takes grit to make do with shortages of food and toilet paper, to find ways to get our kids educated when schools are closed, to figure out how to make ends meet when our jobs and businesses disappear, and to change our behaviors to reduce the spread of a contagious disease. The emotional intelligence aspect is not letting our fear be the driver, instead being guided in all our adaptations by homing in on what's most important. For instance: family, community, service, vibrant health, kindness, and ecology. It means honoring the choice that mere survival isn’t enough.
This brings us to the crux of emotionally intelligent grit, which is that having a higher purpose is essential. Without it, we adapt without heart. To me, a high purpose always implies an intention that goes beyond personal gain. It inspires the willingness to be uncomfortable as we develop and maintain these muscles, and the world is made better by this sacrifice.
Be well, and not too comfortable,
Peter
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[post_content] => Desire is a confusing idea. We’re taught that desire is what leads us astray, that it makes us materialistic and unsatisfied with our lot. To be free from desire implies that we’ve achieved a state of moral and/or spiritual perfection – plus deep inner peace. On the other hand, a lack of desire might mean we’re complacent, lacking ambition, or dimwitted. After all, the reputation of every revered historical figure was rooted in strong desire – to set slaves free, to achieve peace, to get women the right to vote – and it changed the world for the better.
We’re also taught that we deserve to have and enjoy desirable things. And everyone knows that it’s important to be desirable to whomever we might want to attract or impress. Marketers have long reminded us that we’ll be undesirable to a prospective lover, boss, or college admissions officer if we have dandruff on our shirt, ring around the collar, or yellow teeth.
Clearly there’s no single correct answer to the question of whether desire is good or bad. It all depends on what’s behind that desire and how we relate to it.
A tidbit I appreciate from the work of Neale Donald Walsch is the notion that our desires tend to be “sponsored” by either love or fear. Fear-based desire is exceedingly common. It’s part of why capitalism is such a massive force in the world. Because of fear, we desire security and protection, and we’re often motivated to pursue them at the expense of growth and healing. Moved by fear of inadequacy, we might desire a flashy car or a trophy partner – whatever we perceive as signaling our prowess to others. Gripped by fear of death we desire whatever we believe will tether us to life.
Love-sponsored desire is very different. Most importantly, the quality of the energy behind it is different. If you met two people intent on changing the world, one driven by love-sponsored desire, the other by fear-sponsored desire, you couldn’t assume that the fear-driven one wants to change it in bad ways. Or that the love-driven one is going to be more effective. But if you got to know these people, you’d feel the difference and it would be written all over how they relate to life.
Which would you prefer to be driven by? Regardless of your answer (I’m going to take a wild guess and say, “love-sponsored desire”) it’s worthwhile to discern your motivations. If you discover that you’re following a course that’s dictated by fear-sponsored thoughts and desires, there’s an opportunity for liberation – from both the fear and the lifeforce-draining remedies you’re pursuing. If your desires are sponsored by fear, you’ll find that when you challenge them your mind gets defensive. And if you ask, “What if I relinquish this desire?” the response is, “Something bad will happen.”
This isn’t the case with love-sponsored desires. There’s no feeling of, “I have to do this or else!” It’s more like, “My Highest Self is calling me to do this,” and you can feel that it’s coming from love. That said, there may occasionally be cases when some form of harm is occurring and you feel moved by love to help – like getting involved to stop human trafficking or animal abuse. But the difference is, your heart will feel open.
Whereas fear-sponsored desire is rooted in one’s own subconscious thoughts, love-sponsored desire is transpersonal. That is, both its source and its scope are beyond the personality.
It’s similar to concept of iccha shakti as defined in the ancient philosophy of Nondual Shaiva Tantra (NST). A Sanskit term, iccha shakti is used commonly to mean willpower or life drive, but the NST definition is more specific. In the words of author Christopher Wallis, it’s “a precognitive creative urge toward self-expression. It is the impulse behind the manifestation of a universe and behind all artistic expression that is done for its own sake.” Like the idea of love-sponsored desire, to be an expression of iccha shakti means to be moved not by the will of the personality but by divine will that seeks expression through us.
Wallis continues: “The more we access our real innate nature, the more we can draw on the unfailing power of the divine Will. The Will seeks self-expression for no reason other than the joy inherent in the act of self-expression. If you are tapping into iccha shakti in your pursuits in life, be they dancing or computer repair, you will have a vast reservoir of energy to draw on. This is because when you are pursuing an activity as a form of self-expression, it replenishes you instead of draining you.” And I would say the same goes for being led by love-sponsored desire.
I encourage you to ask yourself some questions. At any time you feel strongly moved, you can ask, “Is this a fear-sponsored or love-sponsored thought / feeling / action?” You can also ask, “What is love sponsoring in my life?” or “Where does love want to take me?” Does your work feel connected to iccha shakti? If not, can you change how you relate to it and let love and iccha shakti be sponsors? I always enjoy hearing how these articles land with you.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Harnessing the Power of Love-Sponsored Desire
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[post_content] => Among the 12 animals of the Chinese zodiac, the ox is probably the hardest working. Oxen are bred to put in day after day after day of manual labor – plowing, pulling carts, towing water, threshing grain, and more. Without the ox, countless humans would have died of starvation over the past few millennia. They have been incredible allies in human development.
What that means in Chinese astrology is that the coming year (beginning on February 11th) is one in which hard work, honesty, and discipline will be rewarded. Just think of a vast agricultural field – row after perfect row plowed in steady, unwavering lines. 2021 is a good year to emulate such a steady and methodical approach to life. In return, it’s said that we can expect a year that’s much more harmonious, calm, and predictable than 2020.
Given the ox’s power, stamina, and purpose, the year of the Metal Ox is also predicted to be one of reconstruction and order, when much of the conflict and confusion of the previous year can be healed. A strong, new foundation can be built. Work is required, and it may be harder work than we’re accustomed to. Also, like beasts of burden, we may feel the weight of our responsibilities more heavily than usual. However, we can rest assured that if we stay the course, it will pay off. Finances will return, family and social order will return, and like the ox, we’ll feel perpetually grounded in the solid earth beneath our feet.
It’s a great year to be organized and follow a consistent routine. One way is to commit to a structured practice for the work you need to do in your life. I recommend our Sacred Expansion course. Sacred expansion is an eight-week journey of personal growth that’s empowering, supportive, and filled with so much heart. During this course, you’ll receive a video lesson emailed every other day for eight weeks. Each lesson will be accompanied by reflective questions to journal, meditation practices or other exercises to help you clear baggage and tune into your inner compass. Having these instructions every other day allows you to turn this into a devotional practice. If you’ve had trouble creating discipline for yourself, this is a really helpful and pleasurable way to make space for it.
It's hard work, and its also the best kind of work. Work that will transform you.
Some of my favorite words on work come from Kalil Gibran. I can barely decide which ones to share, but here are a few:
When you work you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music . . . .
Always you have been told that work is a curse and labor a misfortune.
But I say to you that when you work you fulfill a part of the earth’s furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born,
And in keeping yourself with labour you are in truth loving life,
And to love life through labour is to be intimate with life’s inmost secret.
So don’t be daunted by the promise of work ahead. We can do it and we’ll all be the better for it.
A last word from my friend Karim: another way to look at OX is that it represents hugs (O) and kisses (X), so let’s all intend to be sharing many of both with our friends, family, teachers, mail carriers, baristas, bus drivers, garbage collectors, etc., very soon.
Be well,
Peter
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