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I had been hearing about an impressive tai chi teacher named Gregory Fong since moving to Portland in 1997. It was about five years later that I convinced Briana to join me one evening and we drove to Chinatown to check out his class. Sifu (“master”) Fong, as everyone called him, was probably not more than about five feet tall, but there was something intimidating about him. He welcomed us warmly, then said, “I have two questions for you. First, do you like pain?”
Do I like pain? What is the appropriate answer here? I mumbled something like, “Maybe if there is a good reason.”
He smiled. “Question two. Do you like to work hard?”
Oh boy. I thought about asking him to define the word “like,” but instead responded with, “I guess?”
He chuckled. “Alright, you don’t know if you like pain or hard work. Just sit down on that chair then.” He pointed to a wooden folding chair against a wall covered with framed portraits of Chinese men. “Rest your hands on your thighs. Don’t lean back. Lift your feet off the floor just high enough for one sheet of paper to fit under them. See you later.” And he walked away for a long time. You can try that right now if you’re sitting.
Years later, having done a lot of hard work and endured much pain in his classes, I reflected that I did in fact like to work hard. I still didn’t like pain, but I had learned the difference between avoiding it versus using it and finding a way through it. And I decided that those two questions are useful preliminaries before almost any endeavor.
They came to mind as I was thinking about the upcoming launch of our Sacred Expansion course. It’s a required program for all of our life coaches, and worthwhile for anyone interested in growing beyond their self-imposed limitations and releasing blocks to having an exceptional life.
In the context of Sacred Expansion, if I were to ask, “Do you like pain?” what I mean is, are you willing to voluntarily experience discomfort as part of discovering what’s holding you back? Are you willing to experience the tension of psycho-spiritual growing pains? Are you willing to be uncomfortable in the short term in order to release the long term discomfort you’ve gotten used to? Are you willing to use your pain to initiate a breakthrough?
As for the question “Do you like to work hard?” what I mean is, are you willing to stick with the work of unraveling your inner knots even when it’s difficult? Are you willing to choose a higher purpose – for instance: freedom, peace, spiritual connection, joy, service to your species and planet – over and over and over? Are you willing to break some habits? Are you willing to challenge your own thoughts? Are you willing to explore parts of yourself you aren’t comfortable with? All of these tasks represent a certain form of work.
By liking hard work, I don’t mean that you get points for having a hard life or that there’s merit in making things unnecessarily difficult. In fact, a core principle Sifu taught was that hard work and peace aren’t mutually exclusive. We can be at ease while simultaneously working our hardest. Regardless of the form that our work takes, there’s no getting around the importance of consistent effort in the direction of our dreams if we want them to come to fruition.
If you’ve even thought, “I know I have greater potential than this” or, “I feel like I’m missing out on my superpowers” or, “If I could release all this baggage, I could finally feel free!” read more about Sacred Expansion. We’d love to have you join us.
Be well,
Peter
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[post_content] => When a physical gift is given, we see that the person who gives it technically loses something and the recipient gains it. So it’s natural that from witnessing the dynamic of physical giving, we’d conclude that this is how all giving and receiving operates. But the truth is usually the opposite.
Most of what we give is intangible. We give people our love, our hope, our admiration, our blessings ... and also our grievances, our scorn, our envy, even our condemnation. And the rules are quite different with these nonphysical offerings.
First, there’s no loss. Thus, the negative feelings we direct at our fellow humans don’t leave us in the process; instead we get to keep them, amplify them, and steep in them. It’s a bit like pooping in our own bathtub.
Luckily, the same is true of the virtuous gifts we offer. We don’t lose them because they don’t belong to the personality and body we call ME. These virtues are the inexhaustible Light of the Universe, the Divine Love that we are and which wants to be expressed through us. That’s my opinion anyway, and I believe that if you practice this, you, too, will experience it as true.
Second, the giver becomes the recipient. When we direct negative energy at others we are obligated to experience it ourselves. When we attack others with our thoughts, we attack ourselves. But again, this is also true of positive feelings, and they carry a much greater magnitude of power.
So, if you want more peace, lightness, clarity, strength, forgiveness, or love, give it abundantly to others. Maybe you’re thinking, “But I don’t have peace to give to others! That’s why I
want it.” But these virtues aren’t outside or separate from you. You wouldn’t exist without them. They are virtually everything that you are. If you can’t recognize this, it’s not your fault. It’s because, like most people, you have a survival-driven mind that has been trained to hyperfocus on danger, loss, and flaws. And without really understanding the consequences, you have habitually given that mind the majority of your attention. Fortunately, that attention can be shifted, and the mind can be disciplined and transcended.
Our virtues need only to be uncovered and shared. In fact, I would venture to say that we don’t truly know these beautiful truths until we offer them to others. In order to offer them, we must call them up within ourselves. Therefore, making such a gift is an affirmation that we do possess these qualities. As long as we’re reluctant to give them away (even to our enemies) we reinforce the belief that they’re limited, and that more for one means less for another. Giving them away instantly corrects this misperception. Try it. You’ll see.
I encourage you this holiday season (and forever) to do two things. First, make a practice of watching your mind throughout the day. When you catch yourself harboring negative thoughts, shift your attention to something else. Imagine you are in martial arts training and you need to develop laser-like focus. You have no use for mental pollution. Release it. If it helps, you can thank your mind for presenting you with its concerns, but reassure it that it no longer needs to police the world.
Second, give to others the virtues that you wish to receive. Start by silently offering peace or love, or light or vision to those who are closest to you. Notice what happens within yourself when you do this. Then try it with those in your broader community, including the strangers you see on the street and in stores. Then practice with those against whom you harbor grievances, including people you know personally as well as figures in the news and internet trolls. Then try it with the whole world.
We can awaken the planet to a new reality, starting with ourselves.
I offer you love, peace, and lightness,
Peter
[post_title] => DIY: Get what you REALLY want for Christmas
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Last week Briana and I had a deeply gratifying experience. We led the first training of our advanced life coaches – we call them “Illuminators” – and it went amazingly well. They really lived up to their name.
Even before we developed the curriculum we had a sense that these people would be “emissaries of light” – shining light into their communities, seeing the light in their clients and calling it forth.
They were already a bunch of bright souls when they arrived, but the processes we did together helped them shed whatever veils may have been dimming their light, and they were truly luminous by the end of our time together. The biggest overall shift for the group probably happened during the breath work we did together – a technique known as “conscious breathing.”
Through simply breathing into all parts of themselves, many of our students were able to gain clarity on longstanding problems or release decades of pain. Some asked how it was possible that such dramatic transformation could be possible just through breathing. First, it’s worth pointing out that there were a few other factors: There was a safe, loving space being held by Briana and me, by our helpers, and by all the participants. There was an atmosphere of trust and an intention to heal and grow. There was music. (We should never underestimate the power of music to affect us and promote opening.) These factors amounted to a ritual – a container with a stated purpose – rather than just a bunch of people breathing.
Finally, there was the breath itself. To me, it makes perfect sense that we should all possess a profound tool for healing. The way we breathe can alter our circulation. It can change our thinking and shift our mood. It can alleviate pain. It can open our awareness to parts of ourselves that we’ve kept hidden. Plus, it’s free and it’s always available.
This is an especially good time of year to remember your breath because autumn is the season associated with the lungs in Chinese Medicine. It’s also a phase when we’re prompted to let go, like all the trees around us. Fall is such an apt name, since the sun falls to a lower arc in the sky, the leaves fall, and there’s a natural decline of light and energy around us. It’s common to feel a little somber at this time. But if we stay mindful and don’t cling to what’s changing – instead just breathing through it, watching it, feeling it without resistance, noticing its beauty – it can be a graceful process that helps us to go deep inside ourselves. During a period that may seem like a loss, there’s an opportunity to become keenly aware of what can never be lost. And every breath offers the same opportunity.
So, the next time you’re struggling with an unpleasant thought or emotion, I encourage you to try breathing into it. Take just a minute to drop into your body. While focusing on this thought or emotion, see what feeling arises in your body. Invite it to be here, even if it’s unpleasant. Try to get a sense of its shape, its weight, perhaps even its color or texture, and then take a breath into that feeling. Imagine it inflating and deflating with your breath. Stay with it for a few breaths and notice what happens. Does it change? Does it call you to look at something within yourself? Can you be brave and see where it takes you?
If you have a little more time, you could try taking ten to twenty connected breaths into whatever pain or problem is on your mind. It’s sort of like a mini-cleanse. Lie down on your back without a pillow. Set an intention to open this issue and receive clarity on it – or just to be energized and cleansed.
Inhale fully, letting the breath fill your belly first and then your chest. At the end of the inhale, without pausing, let the breath immediately fall out of your lungs (rather than pushing it out). At the end of the exhale, again without pausing, immediately start the next inhale (belly to chest). When you’ve inhaled fully, without pausing, let the breath immediately fall out of your lungs again. And so on. As you breathe, imagine that you’re drawing light or universal life energy into yourself, pulling it deep into every cell, into all parts of your consciousness, and into any hidden nooks and crannies.
This style of breathing is called “connected breathing” because each inhale is connected to the next exhale, which is connected to the next inhale, without any pausing or holding. You can do this form of breathing either through your nose or your mouth. Mouth breathing tends to be stronger, and may have a greater ability to help you access old information and emotions. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that on your own, have a friend join you, or stick to nose breathing. After ten to twenty breaths, return to normal breathing. Since you’ll be hyperventilating, it’s possible to feel a little woozy, so stay reclined until the feeling passes. Notice what shifts or arises as a result of this opening process. Are there parts of you calling for even more opening, or even more light?
Meanwhile, during this season of diminishing light, I encourage all of us to consciously notice all the light that remains. When we pay attention to it, it grows. Not just sunlight, lightbulbs, and candles, but also the moments of grace that appear – like the flipping of a light switch that brings insight during a time of confusion. And the luminous people we encounter, who brighten our day. And most importantly, the light within ourselves – our inner Illuminator – that fuels our passion and lets us see through the drama to the deeper story of love throughout our world.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Tap Into Your Inner Illuminator
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I had been hearing about an impressive tai chi teacher named Gregory Fong since moving to Portland in 1997. It was about five years later that I convinced Briana to join me one evening and we drove to Chinatown to check out his class. Sifu (“master”) Fong, as everyone called him, was probably not more than about five feet tall, but there was something intimidating about him. He welcomed us warmly, then said, “I have two questions for you. First, do you like pain?”
Do I like pain? What is the appropriate answer here? I mumbled something like, “Maybe if there is a good reason.”
He smiled. “Question two. Do you like to work hard?”
Oh boy. I thought about asking him to define the word “like,” but instead responded with, “I guess?”
He chuckled. “Alright, you don’t know if you like pain or hard work. Just sit down on that chair then.” He pointed to a wooden folding chair against a wall covered with framed portraits of Chinese men. “Rest your hands on your thighs. Don’t lean back. Lift your feet off the floor just high enough for one sheet of paper to fit under them. See you later.” And he walked away for a long time. You can try that right now if you’re sitting.
Years later, having done a lot of hard work and endured much pain in his classes, I reflected that I did in fact like to work hard. I still didn’t like pain, but I had learned the difference between avoiding it versus using it and finding a way through it. And I decided that those two questions are useful preliminaries before almost any endeavor.
They came to mind as I was thinking about the upcoming launch of our Sacred Expansion course. It’s a required program for all of our life coaches, and worthwhile for anyone interested in growing beyond their self-imposed limitations and releasing blocks to having an exceptional life.
In the context of Sacred Expansion, if I were to ask, “Do you like pain?” what I mean is, are you willing to voluntarily experience discomfort as part of discovering what’s holding you back? Are you willing to experience the tension of psycho-spiritual growing pains? Are you willing to be uncomfortable in the short term in order to release the long term discomfort you’ve gotten used to? Are you willing to use your pain to initiate a breakthrough?
As for the question “Do you like to work hard?” what I mean is, are you willing to stick with the work of unraveling your inner knots even when it’s difficult? Are you willing to choose a higher purpose – for instance: freedom, peace, spiritual connection, joy, service to your species and planet – over and over and over? Are you willing to break some habits? Are you willing to challenge your own thoughts? Are you willing to explore parts of yourself you aren’t comfortable with? All of these tasks represent a certain form of work.
By liking hard work, I don’t mean that you get points for having a hard life or that there’s merit in making things unnecessarily difficult. In fact, a core principle Sifu taught was that hard work and peace aren’t mutually exclusive. We can be at ease while simultaneously working our hardest. Regardless of the form that our work takes, there’s no getting around the importance of consistent effort in the direction of our dreams if we want them to come to fruition.
If you’ve even thought, “I know I have greater potential than this” or, “I feel like I’m missing out on my superpowers” or, “If I could release all this baggage, I could finally feel free!” read more about Sacred Expansion. We’d love to have you join us.
Be well,
Peter
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