WP_Query Object
(
[query] => Array
(
[category__in] => Array
(
[0] => 67
[1] => 66
[2] => 26
[3] => 64
)
[post__not_in] => Array
(
[0] => 8701
)
[posts_per_page] => 50
[ignore_sticky_posts] => 1
[orderby] => desc
[_shuffle_and_pick] => 3
)
[query_vars] => Array
(
[category__in] => Array
(
[0] => 67
[1] => 66
[2] => 26
[3] => 64
)
[post__not_in] => Array
(
[0] => 8701
)
[posts_per_page] => 50
[ignore_sticky_posts] => 1
[orderby] => desc
[_shuffle_and_pick] => 3
[error] =>
[m] =>
[p] => 0
[post_parent] =>
[subpost] =>
[subpost_id] =>
[attachment] =>
[attachment_id] => 0
[name] =>
[pagename] =>
[page_id] => 0
[second] =>
[minute] =>
[hour] =>
[day] => 0
[monthnum] => 0
[year] => 0
[w] => 0
[category_name] => creative_living
[tag] =>
[cat] => 67
[tag_id] =>
[author] =>
[author_name] =>
[feed] =>
[tb] =>
[paged] => 0
[meta_key] =>
[meta_value] =>
[preview] =>
[s] =>
[sentence] =>
[title] =>
[fields] =>
[menu_order] =>
[embed] =>
[category__not_in] => Array
(
)
[category__and] => Array
(
)
[post__in] => Array
(
)
[post_name__in] => Array
(
)
[tag__in] => Array
(
)
[tag__not_in] => Array
(
)
[tag__and] => Array
(
)
[tag_slug__in] => Array
(
)
[tag_slug__and] => Array
(
)
[post_parent__in] => Array
(
)
[post_parent__not_in] => Array
(
)
[author__in] => Array
(
)
[author__not_in] => Array
(
)
[search_columns] => Array
(
)
[suppress_filters] =>
[cache_results] => 1
[update_post_term_cache] => 1
[update_menu_item_cache] =>
[lazy_load_term_meta] => 1
[update_post_meta_cache] => 1
[post_type] =>
[nopaging] =>
[comments_per_page] => 50
[no_found_rows] =>
[order] => DESC
)
[tax_query] => WP_Tax_Query Object
(
[queries] => Array
(
[0] => Array
(
[taxonomy] => category
[terms] => Array
(
[0] => 67
[1] => 66
[2] => 26
[3] => 64
)
[field] => term_id
[operator] => IN
[include_children] =>
)
)
[relation] => AND
[table_aliases:protected] => Array
(
[0] => wp_term_relationships
)
[queried_terms] => Array
(
[category] => Array
(
[terms] => Array
(
[0] => 67
[1] => 66
[2] => 26
[3] => 64
)
[field] => term_id
)
)
[primary_table] => wp_posts
[primary_id_column] => ID
)
[meta_query] => WP_Meta_Query Object
(
[queries] => Array
(
)
[relation] =>
[meta_table] =>
[meta_id_column] =>
[primary_table] =>
[primary_id_column] =>
[table_aliases:protected] => Array
(
)
[clauses:protected] => Array
(
)
[has_or_relation:protected] =>
)
[date_query] =>
[request] =>
SELECT SQL_CALC_FOUND_ROWS wp_posts.ID
FROM wp_posts LEFT JOIN wp_term_relationships ON (wp_posts.ID = wp_term_relationships.object_id)
WHERE 1=1 AND wp_posts.ID NOT IN (8701) AND (
wp_term_relationships.term_taxonomy_id IN (26,64,66,67)
) AND ((wp_posts.post_type = 'post' AND (wp_posts.post_status = 'publish' OR wp_posts.post_status = 'acf-disabled')))
AND ID NOT IN
(SELECT `post_id` FROM wp_postmeta
WHERE `meta_key` = '_pilotpress_level'
AND `meta_value` IN ('','employee')
AND `post_id` NOT IN
(SELECT `post_id` FROM wp_postmeta
WHERE `meta_key` = '_pilotpress_level'
AND `meta_value` IN ('' )))
GROUP BY wp_posts.ID
ORDER BY wp_posts.post_date DESC
LIMIT 0, 50
[posts] => Array
(
[0] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 9047
[post_author] => 5
[post_date] => 2023-06-10 14:06:05
[post_date_gmt] => 2023-06-10 14:06:05
[post_content] =>
I once had an acquaintance who loved to tell people what to do. I never asked her what to do, but I got told what to do more times than I can remember. She could use any opening as a way to fix your life. “What you need to do . . .” she’d start, and then she’d go on to prescribe a break-up, a diet, a new career, or a parenting method. I know she meant well, but the implication behind this unsolicited advice was, “You can’t manage your own life.”
A mutual friend once commented, “She would make a good life coach.”
I couldn’t help saying, “I disagree.”
While I’m sure there are people out there who would love to pay someone to tell them exactly what to do, in my opinion that’s not what good coaching looks like.
Life coaches do a lot of things. They help clients identify their goals; work together to develop a plan for achieving them; track their progress; assist them to uncover and release patterns that aren’t working; hold space for them to get to know themselves better; witness them in their strengths and weaknesses; hold them to their agreements; reflect on their communication style and explore ways to improve it; encourage a growth mindset; help them discover their gifts, values, and purpose; and more.
As I see it, a coach’s role is to help a person be the best version of themselves. Like teaching someone to fish versus simply giving them a fish, the highest goal for the client is personal evolution – not reliance on the coach’s advice.
The life coach who understands this is inevitably on the same path themselves. I’ve witnessed it through the years that we’ve been offering the Dragontree Life Coach training program. In the process of becoming a good coach, you learn so much that you want to apply to yourself. You’re naturally drawn to “walk your talk,” to embody the principles you use to guide others. You experience that when there’s coherence between how you live and how you coach, your coaching is more effective. And, over and over, you hear yourself say something to a client and a voice inside says, “I need to hear this too.”
The great coaches I’ve known find it tremendously gratifying to know they’re making a positive difference in their clients’ lives. And even while they can say, “I’m pretty good at this,” they have the humility that comes from having seen that the most brilliant transformations often resulted not from the times they told a client “I know what you need” but from the “I honestly don’t know” moments. They never stop learning and growing.
If you’d like to find a coach to help you be the best version of yourself, click here to browse our directory of Dragontree Life Coaching graduates.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => What it Means to be a Coach
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => what-it-means-to-be-a-coach
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2023-06-07 14:14:18
[post_modified_gmt] => 2023-06-07 14:14:18
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=9047
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 0
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[1] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 8683
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2022-06-17 20:46:01
[post_date_gmt] => 2022-06-17 20:46:01
[post_content] =>
I feel the more we celebrate, the better our quality of life. And there are two holidays worth taking time out for this week. Today, June 19th is Juneteenth, and Tuesday, June 21st is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. I think it’s appropriate that Juneteenth falls so close to the summer solstice, because both symbolize a certain abundance of light.
Juneteenth is a celebration of the emancipation of African American slaves. Throughout the Civil War, many slaveholders moved to remote areas to escape the fighting and hold onto their slaves. When Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation went into effect on January 1, 1863, nothing changed where it wasn’t enforced. This was especially the case in Texas, where there were still a quarter million slaves in 1865, even after General Lee surrendered the Confederacy.
On June 19th, 1865, Union General Gordon Granger presented Texas with a proclamation that read, “The people of Texas are informed that, in accordance with a proclamation from the Executive of the United States, all slaves are free. This involves an absolute equality of personal rights and rights of property between former masters and slaves, and the connection heretofore existing between them becomes that between employer and hired labor.”
Although the enforcement of the law took years, and there’s still plenty of work ahead of us, June 19th became a day of celebration. Known as Juneteenth, it’s the longest standing African American holiday. The abolition of slavery was like clearing a dark cloud that had long hung over the country. It was the beginning of allowing African Americans to be their own people and freely shine their light.
There’s no way to undo the suffering caused by slavery and its aftermath of discrimination and systemic oppression, but one step in the right direction – especially for White people – is to recognize how much this country has benefited from the presence of African Americans. Just when the light of the sun is at its peak, we have the opportunity on Juneteenth (and always) to celebrate the light that’s symbolic of the African American soul, which has persevered through unimaginable violence and injustice, and evolved into an incredible cultural identity.
Despite comprising just 13% of our population, African Americans have had a disproportionately significant influence on the United States. From music to art to cuisine to literature to science to leadership to religion and more, it’s all around us.
So, let’s celebrate the light this week.
☀️ Bask in the sun. Try this simple “solar energy” meditation: Inhale for a count of 4 while imagining you’re absorbing the sun through your pores, deep into your body. Hold your breath for a count of 4 while imagining the solar energy working its way into all your cells and charging all your atoms. Exhale for a count of 4 while imagining you’re beaming the sunlight out of every pore. Hold (with empty lungs) for a count of 4 while basking in your own glow around you. Then repeat.
☀️ Open your heart and shine your light into every environment you find yourself in.
☀️ Make a conscious choice to see the light in everyone you encounter.
☀️ Enjoy the contributions of African American writers, musicians, chefs, comedians, and influencers.
☀️ Whatever your race, consider how you've benefited from the influence of courageous and visionary African Americans, then take some action to honor this light and support our work toward true equity.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => A Double Serving of Light
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => a-double-serving-of-light
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2022-06-17 20:46:01
[post_modified_gmt] => 2022-06-17 20:46:01
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8683
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 1
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[2] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 8820
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2022-09-22 19:04:00
[post_date_gmt] => 2022-09-22 19:04:00
[post_content] =>
After two years of studying plant and soil sciences, my favorite professor, Dr. Barker, offered me a job on the University of Massachusetts farm. Whereas my previous jobs had been things like bagging groceries and washing dishes, this was the first time I was getting paid to do something I was interested in, and under the supervision of someone I looked up to.
I was nervous when I showed up at Bowditch Hall on my first day. Dr. Barker, a white-haired man with a country drawl, introduced me to his assistant, Kathy. Then he handed me the keys to a faded old, blue truck and asked me, “Ever driven a three-on-the-tree?” I had never driven any kind of truck before, much less one with the gearshift on the steering column, but I learned quickly as I drove the three of us – with lots of jerking and stalling – out to the farm.
Standing at the edge of a freshly plowed field, Dr. Barker explained that we were going to use stakes and twine to mark out rows for planting seeds. Kathy and I got to work while he watched. The only trouble was, while I had stakes, a mallet, and a ball of twine, I didn’t have anything to cut the twine with. I thought maybe I had spaced out when someone explained where to find a knife or scissors. Or maybe the professor had told me to bring my own knife and I had forgotten. I was too uncomfortable to say anything.
Wondering if there was some way I could proceed with my task without a cutting tool, I pounded the first stake into the ground. I tied one end of the twine around it, walked the length of the field, pounded in another stake, wrapped the twine around that stake, pulled it taut, and then I just squatted there for a few moments. I considered trying to gnaw through it with my teeth, but dismissed the idea as totally unprofessional. Finally, at the risk of appearing unprepared, I called out to Kathy, who was a dozen paces away, “Do you have a knife?”
“Huh?” she turned around and squinted at me in the bright sun. “Oh.” She ambled over, fished around in her pocket, and passed me a pink disposable lighter.
I interpreted this unexpected response to mean, “I don’t have a knife, but I can see what you need there. You’re going to have to burn through the twine with this. At the ends of every row.” She gave me the lighter in such a matter-of-fact way that I thought it would be too weird to ask for a different explanation.
So, feeling like I didn’t have enough hands, I held the twine straight out from the stake, positioned the flame beneath it, and tried to shield it from the wind with my leg. It blew out a couple times, but I eventually managed to burn through it. Meanwhile Dr. Barker had wandered over to observe me and remarked, “That is the strangest way of doing that I have ever seen.”
“Um. I didn’t have a knife,” I said sheepishly.
“Well, I’ve got a knife you can use.”
“Me too,” offered Kathy.
And that’s how, on the first day of my first important job, I believed I must have convinced my boss that I was an absolute idiot. By the way, if you’re wondering why Kathy handed me that lighter, these were the days when smoking was still quite common. She was a smoker and must have thought I said, “Do you have a light?”
The whole thing turned out to be a good lesson for me. By avoiding an uncomfortable conversation, I ended up in even more discomfort.
I resolved to speak up and break through the tension of misunderstanding in the future. I can’t say I’ve always done this, because it takes bravery, and sometimes I chose to stay in my (dis-)comfort zone. But I can say that I’ve never regretted it. Usually there’s an immediate diffusion of tension, and even when there isn’t, at least the truth is out and there’s an opening for resolution. This is especially true when we bring an attitude of curiosity and aim to understand the other person.
Is there anywhere in your life where you’ve left something unsaid because of your resistance to the discomfort of speaking those words and the feelings that may follow? I want to challenge you to make a communication this week that takes you a bit outside your comfort zone. Even if you have to say, “I’m really nervous about saying this” or you have to hold a friend’s hand while doing it, it’s worth it.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Uncomfortable Conversations: Diffuse the Discomfort by Speaking Up
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => uncomfortable-conversations-diffuse-the-discomfort-by-speaking-up
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2022-09-22 19:12:14
[post_modified_gmt] => 2022-09-22 19:12:14
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8820
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 1
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
)
[post_count] => 3
[current_post] => -1
[before_loop] => 1
[in_the_loop] =>
[post] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 9047
[post_author] => 5
[post_date] => 2023-06-10 14:06:05
[post_date_gmt] => 2023-06-10 14:06:05
[post_content] =>
I once had an acquaintance who loved to tell people what to do. I never asked her what to do, but I got told what to do more times than I can remember. She could use any opening as a way to fix your life. “What you need to do . . .” she’d start, and then she’d go on to prescribe a break-up, a diet, a new career, or a parenting method. I know she meant well, but the implication behind this unsolicited advice was, “You can’t manage your own life.”
A mutual friend once commented, “She would make a good life coach.”
I couldn’t help saying, “I disagree.”
While I’m sure there are people out there who would love to pay someone to tell them exactly what to do, in my opinion that’s not what good coaching looks like.
Life coaches do a lot of things. They help clients identify their goals; work together to develop a plan for achieving them; track their progress; assist them to uncover and release patterns that aren’t working; hold space for them to get to know themselves better; witness them in their strengths and weaknesses; hold them to their agreements; reflect on their communication style and explore ways to improve it; encourage a growth mindset; help them discover their gifts, values, and purpose; and more.
As I see it, a coach’s role is to help a person be the best version of themselves. Like teaching someone to fish versus simply giving them a fish, the highest goal for the client is personal evolution – not reliance on the coach’s advice.
The life coach who understands this is inevitably on the same path themselves. I’ve witnessed it through the years that we’ve been offering the Dragontree Life Coach training program. In the process of becoming a good coach, you learn so much that you want to apply to yourself. You’re naturally drawn to “walk your talk,” to embody the principles you use to guide others. You experience that when there’s coherence between how you live and how you coach, your coaching is more effective. And, over and over, you hear yourself say something to a client and a voice inside says, “I need to hear this too.”
The great coaches I’ve known find it tremendously gratifying to know they’re making a positive difference in their clients’ lives. And even while they can say, “I’m pretty good at this,” they have the humility that comes from having seen that the most brilliant transformations often resulted not from the times they told a client “I know what you need” but from the “I honestly don’t know” moments. They never stop learning and growing.
If you’d like to find a coach to help you be the best version of yourself, click here to browse our directory of Dragontree Life Coaching graduates.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => What it Means to be a Coach
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => what-it-means-to-be-a-coach
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2023-06-07 14:14:18
[post_modified_gmt] => 2023-06-07 14:14:18
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=9047
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 0
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[comment_count] => 0
[current_comment] => -1
[found_posts] => 299
[max_num_pages] => 6
[max_num_comment_pages] => 0
[is_single] =>
[is_preview] =>
[is_page] =>
[is_archive] => 1
[is_date] =>
[is_year] =>
[is_month] =>
[is_day] =>
[is_time] =>
[is_author] =>
[is_category] => 1
[is_tag] =>
[is_tax] =>
[is_search] =>
[is_feed] =>
[is_comment_feed] =>
[is_trackback] =>
[is_home] =>
[is_privacy_policy] =>
[is_404] =>
[is_embed] =>
[is_paged] =>
[is_admin] =>
[is_attachment] =>
[is_singular] =>
[is_robots] =>
[is_favicon] =>
[is_posts_page] =>
[is_post_type_archive] =>
[query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => 55246fa52094551349c7c3963e9af6e6
[query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] =>
[thumbnails_cached] =>
[allow_query_attachment_by_filename:protected] =>
[stopwords:WP_Query:private] =>
[compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => query_vars_hash
[1] => query_vars_changed
)
[compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => init_query_flags
[1] => parse_tax_query
)
)