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George Vithoulkas

Homeopathy: What Is It and Does It Work?

One of the earliest inspirations that prompted me to go into medicine was a book called The Science of Homeopathy by George Vithoulkas. Of all the many modalities of mainstream… Read More

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It’s about discovering your core values. It’s easy to skip it. I know you could go through life only rarely, if ever, giving a thought to your core values. Or you could complete this part – choosing some appealing words from our list of suggestions, such as kindness, honesty, openness and love – and then quickly forget what you chose and why. But what if we called them needs instead? What if I said, virtually everything you do is motivated by an attempt to get one or more of these values / needs met, and the same is true for everyone else? How might your communications be different if you could perceive the core values that are driving you and others? A lot changes when we understand the underlying needs that move us, especially when we’re in conflict. For instance, the other day I was on the phone with a company that had really under-delivered on the large sum we paid for their services. I found myself getting angry and raising my voice even though I realized that the agent I was speaking with probably had nothing to do with it. As I tuned in to figure out the underlying need that was pushing me, I realized it was fairness. Just to name it out loud felt better. “This isn’t fair,” I said. “It was reasonable to expect your company would do . . . but you didn’t, and then you still charged us the full amount.” When we hit upon the value at the root of some conflict, we often feel more grounded in the situation – even if the circumstances don’t change. Here are five reasons why: First, if we’re unaware of the core need behind our upset, we’re usually run instead by our feelings and the belief that things aren’t going our way. As soon as we see the need, there’s clarity: “Ah. This is what I value. This is what’s really driving me.” Second, when we discover the underlying need and recognize that it’s a value, it’s easy to expand from “I want this for me” to “I want this for everyone.” This gives us perspective that lifts us out of the small feelings that are often engendered by the involvement of our inner child. With regard to fairness, the inner child of course understands “no fair!” from a self-centered point of view, but the mature inner adult grasps big picture fairness in a way that goes beyond one’s personal wants. Third, it makes us more effective at getting another person to see our point of view when we know the core value that’s inspiring us. Fourth, we can make rational, direct requests to achieve resolution because we know what we’re aiming for. Fifth, when we know the need, we can almost always find more than one way to get it met. I encourage you to consider this perspective when you’re working on the Core Values section of your Dreambook. If you’re having trouble, consider something you feel strongly about and ask yourself, “What would I get out of this?” Keep asking until you get to a refined, one word answer. If you have about a situation like mine that you feel unsettled about, ask yourself, “What could have been done to resolve this or make it better?” And then ask yourself, “Why would that be better? What would I have?” Also look at positive motivations. For example: Why do I like running? It keeps me healthy. What else? I release stress. I feel free. I feel strong. I feel connected to my higher self. These are great ways to home in on underlying values. Besides the list of sample core values in the Dreambook, consider these others: Peace. Security. Choice. Freedom. Creativity. Organization. Loyalty. Cleanliness. Clarity. Ease. Justice. As you go through your day, check in a few times and see if you can discern what needs/values are currently moving you. Let’s try it right now. What motivated you to read this article? What do hope to get out of it? A feeling of peace? A feeling of achievement? Learning or greater self-awareness? Better communication and relationships? Clarity? Whatever you come up with, is that the value itself, or do you need to take it a step deeper to get to the value? I believe that when we do the work to know ourselves deeply, this not only serves us personally, our clarity also benefits the community around us. Be well, Peter [post_title] => Your Core Values: They Affect Everything You Do [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => your-core-values-they-affect-everything-you-do [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-09-29 20:35:47 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-09-29 20:35:47 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8822 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [1] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8892 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2022-12-09 19:07:09 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-12-09 19:07:09 [post_content] => What makes a town or city appealing to you? The architecture? The landscape? The climate? The people? The cuisine? I love traveling and I’ve given a lot of thought to why some places feel so attractive to me and others don’t. My favorite towns have all these ingredients plus another: they’re full of small businesses. Strolling the winding streets of Madrid, Pearl Street in Boulder, Hawthorne in Portland, Le Plateau in Montreal, and the downtowns of virtually all cool cities and towns, you’ll pass locally owned flower shops, unique restaurants, art galleries, and, of course, spas like The Dragontree. 😉 You could blindfold me and teleport me to downtown Missoula, Northampton, San Francisco, Marblehead, or Port Townsend. I’d know immediately where I was (and I’d ask to stay for a while). Drop me in a sea of Target, Walmart, Starbucks, Best Buy and giant parking lots, and I could be anywhere (but nowhere I’d want to live). Any sense of home or connection is greatly diminished when a region’s commerce is dominated by giant chains. Small businesses make towns special. They give a community character and make the patron feel connected to the proprietor. They’re also important avenues for other small businesses – like artists, hair stylists, bakers – to do their craft and get compensated well for it. So if you want to help preserve the specialness of a place, if you want your downtown to stay cool and vibrant, patronize its small businesses! Let’s all make a deal to do all our holiday shopping at small businesses this year! It’s a gift not just to the recipient but also to the small business owner and employees and the community it resides in. Be well, Peter [post_title] => Think Small This Holiday Season [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => think-small-this-holiday-season [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-12-09 19:07:09 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-12-09 19:07:09 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8892 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8679 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2022-06-08 22:14:13 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-06-08 22:14:13 [post_content] => June 22nd is my wife Briana’s birthday. She’s the Dragontree’s founder and fearless leader. On the way to art school at age 18, she was in a car accident and broke her neck. It changed the course of her life. She never made it to art school, instead spending the following six months in a brace at home in Montana. During her rehabilitation period she received massage and this kindled an interest in the healing arts. She decided to go to massage school in Portland, and later to California College of Ayurveda to learn the traditional medical system of India. When we met, she was a massage therapist at a little spa in Portland and also a professional belly dancer. Less than a year later, she was opening her own spa. She was just 23 then. I helped with the planning and painting, but she has always been the engine and visionary. I’ve watched her grow tremendously in the 20 years that we’ve been together. Besides her business acumen, she has an incredible knack for making spaces beautiful. She’s an amazing mother and wife. She is generous and kind and funny. She’s a pretty good guitar player, too. The funny thing is, for probably the first 15 years we were together she had these moments of insecurity when she would ask me with despair in her voice, “What am I doing with my life?!” It was as if she saw herself as floundering and aimless. It’s interesting how outsiders sometimes see our gifts more clearly than we do. In this case, my response came so easily. “Well,” I would say, “you have built spas where thousands of people have come to feel better. You’ve created programs and courses to educate, uplift, and support people’s healing. You’ve written books. You’ve provided jobs for probably a thousand people over the years. You’re a mother and wife. You beautify the world. You’re a great friend. You’re always trying to be your best self. You’re good at Boggle – though not as good as me. I think that’s a pretty good start.” I’m not sure if what I said was helpful in a lasting way. But over time, and especially as she began to do more spiritual and coaching work, there was an ever-growing group of people who said to her, “You changed my life for the better.” And I think it started to sink in. She doesn’t ask me what she’s doing with her life anymore. From all of us whose lives have been made better by our association with you, Briana Borten, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We love you. [post_title] => Happy Birthday, Briana! [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => happy-birthday-briana [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-06-08 22:14:13 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-06-08 22:14:13 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8679 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 3 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) ) [post_count] => 3 [current_post] => -1 [before_loop] => 1 [in_the_loop] => [post] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8822 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2022-09-29 20:00:12 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-09-29 20:00:12 [post_content] => One of my favorite sections of our Dreambook occupies only two-thirds of a page. It’s about discovering your core values. It’s easy to skip it. I know you could go through life only rarely, if ever, giving a thought to your core values. Or you could complete this part – choosing some appealing words from our list of suggestions, such as kindness, honesty, openness and love – and then quickly forget what you chose and why. But what if we called them needs instead? What if I said, virtually everything you do is motivated by an attempt to get one or more of these values / needs met, and the same is true for everyone else? How might your communications be different if you could perceive the core values that are driving you and others? A lot changes when we understand the underlying needs that move us, especially when we’re in conflict. For instance, the other day I was on the phone with a company that had really under-delivered on the large sum we paid for their services. I found myself getting angry and raising my voice even though I realized that the agent I was speaking with probably had nothing to do with it. As I tuned in to figure out the underlying need that was pushing me, I realized it was fairness. Just to name it out loud felt better. “This isn’t fair,” I said. “It was reasonable to expect your company would do . . . but you didn’t, and then you still charged us the full amount.” When we hit upon the value at the root of some conflict, we often feel more grounded in the situation – even if the circumstances don’t change. Here are five reasons why: First, if we’re unaware of the core need behind our upset, we’re usually run instead by our feelings and the belief that things aren’t going our way. As soon as we see the need, there’s clarity: “Ah. This is what I value. This is what’s really driving me.” Second, when we discover the underlying need and recognize that it’s a value, it’s easy to expand from “I want this for me” to “I want this for everyone.” This gives us perspective that lifts us out of the small feelings that are often engendered by the involvement of our inner child. With regard to fairness, the inner child of course understands “no fair!” from a self-centered point of view, but the mature inner adult grasps big picture fairness in a way that goes beyond one’s personal wants. Third, it makes us more effective at getting another person to see our point of view when we know the core value that’s inspiring us. Fourth, we can make rational, direct requests to achieve resolution because we know what we’re aiming for. Fifth, when we know the need, we can almost always find more than one way to get it met. I encourage you to consider this perspective when you’re working on the Core Values section of your Dreambook. If you’re having trouble, consider something you feel strongly about and ask yourself, “What would I get out of this?” Keep asking until you get to a refined, one word answer. If you have about a situation like mine that you feel unsettled about, ask yourself, “What could have been done to resolve this or make it better?” And then ask yourself, “Why would that be better? What would I have?” Also look at positive motivations. For example: Why do I like running? It keeps me healthy. What else? I release stress. I feel free. I feel strong. I feel connected to my higher self. These are great ways to home in on underlying values. Besides the list of sample core values in the Dreambook, consider these others: Peace. Security. Choice. Freedom. Creativity. Organization. Loyalty. Cleanliness. Clarity. Ease. Justice. As you go through your day, check in a few times and see if you can discern what needs/values are currently moving you. Let’s try it right now. What motivated you to read this article? What do hope to get out of it? A feeling of peace? A feeling of achievement? Learning or greater self-awareness? Better communication and relationships? Clarity? Whatever you come up with, is that the value itself, or do you need to take it a step deeper to get to the value? I believe that when we do the work to know ourselves deeply, this not only serves us personally, our clarity also benefits the community around us. 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