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When we ask our community what they need support with, fear and anxiety continue to be at the top of the list, so I decided to write a little more on this topic. I’ve found that there are many ways to overcome fear. What’s miraculous for one person might not have the same impact on another. In the right scenario it might be life changing to grab someone, look them in the eyes, and yell, “Snap out of it! Life is a miracle! Don’t let your runaway mind eclipse it!” In the wrong scenario, that might lead to the recipient screaming, “Ahhhh! Get your germs off me!”
That’s why I recommend scheduling a tele-session with me – rest assured I will neither grab you nor get germs on you! But seriously, a skilled outsider is often helpful because they can offer perspective and may be able to discern what the core instability is and how best to address it.
That said, almost everyone can do this themselves if they’re willing to take the time, do the work, and be uncomfortable. Actually, even if you’re working with a practitioner, you still have to take the time, do the work, and be uncomfortable if you really want to heal completely. But that work, time, and discomfort are all in service to a higher goal – real freedom and the emergence of your Highest Self as the true driver of this life.
There are two very common pitfalls along the journey of healing from chronic anxiety. The first is temporary comfort – finding ways to feel less anxious without really healing or changing how we relate to life and our mind. This isn’t specifically bad, but it almost inevitably means having relapse after relapse after relapse. The second pitfall is building a tolerance to a state of anxiousness. We get used to it and stop trying to overcome it, even though it degrades our quality of life.
If you feel ongoing anxiousness or fear, I encourage you to settle for nothing less than a lasting change in your fundamental orientation. That is: becoming a peaceful person. I don’t mean a person who never experiences strong emotions – including fear – but one who isn’t dominated by these emotions in a habitual or prolonged way.
A good place to start is by pondering what I said above about taking the time, doing the work, and being willingly uncomfortable. Almost nobody wants to do these things, especially since there used to be a time when you didn’t need to work to simply feel normal. We just want the feeling to go away. But when it keeps coming back, you may start to think, “What is it about my fundamental orientation that allows fear – specifically fear of imagined scenarios – to get a hold of me?” Then you may decide that finding ways to distract or soothe yourself are no longer enough, and so it’s time to get to work.
It’s natural to hope that there’s a way in which some influence – a healer, a dietary supplement, a crystal – will just correct you. If you find it, congratulations! But in the meantime, let’s look at what this time, work, and discomfort entail.
Everyone’s work is unique. Someone could point out to you, “This is how you’re operating and you’re suffering because of it,” but that won’t change anything unless you experience it, you make the connection, and you choose to change course.
It’s work you’re totally capable of doing. You’ve done harder things in life, but because they were more objective – like finishing college or assembling an Ikea nuclear reactor – you had a clearer sense of how far along you were and how much farther you had to go. Unfortunately, the milestones aren’t as clear with working through fear, but they are there, and actively noticing them is an important part of keeping yourself on track and feeling positive. For example, looking back and rating each day or each week as to how peaceful you were, or rating how well you handled a certain situation, will give you something more objective to validate your progress.
I want to point out that I don’t call it “work” because it’s such a long journey to get to peace. The state you yearn for – a state of true stability and inner calm – isn’t far away. It’s so close. It’s right on the other side of the thinnest veil. You are entirely capable of cutting through that veil of fearful thoughts and remembering the truth – that you are bigger than all of this, that what you are is eternal and can never be harmed, that you are one with the Divine, one with Love, and that peace and lightness and clarity are a choice that is always available to you.
The reason I call it work is mostly because you’re coming up against longstanding habits. It takes consistency to undo the way you’ve been thinking, and more importantly, the way you’ve been letting your thoughts steal all your attention and run the show. It’s work to become mindful, and mindfulness is the single most powerful cure for chronic anxiety. It means paying attention in a way you probably haven’t done much since childhood. Paying attention to the truth of what’s here and now rather than paying attention always to your thoughts and letting them take you out of the moment. And sometimes, it takes work to unearth the deeper underpinnings of fear – whether from a trauma, from early childhood, or inherited from generations before you. Again, it’s work you are absolutely capable of doing.
For now, the work I recommend is this:
(1) As often as you remember throughout the day, bring your attention to whatever you’re doing. Not to the goal of what you’re doing, but to what’s happening right now. Stay. In. This. Moment. Notice how it opens and deepens when you give it your full attention.
(2) When fear arises, take every opportunity to be curious about it. Take every opportunity to follow it and engage with it in a non-resistant way. Your job is to stalk it, gain it’s trust, catch it, become the world’s foremost expert on it. Learn where it lives. Learn it’s tricks. Ask it to show itself. Be willing to feel it with your whole being. Always ask for more. When you feel a flutter of it, notice the tendency to avoid it, to distract yourself, or to push it down. Instead, always turn toward it. Always engage it. Always invite it. Always expect it to come back. And always remember you can do this.
Love,
Peter
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Countless medical studies have shown just how dramatically our beliefs influence our health. People who believe they’re getting a new drug or treatment can experience improvements in mood or profound relief from pain – even when they’re in the placebo group. Our beliefs can alter how toxins affect us. And on the “nocebo” side of the equation (a negative placebo effect) we can even generate signs and symptoms of diseases we don’t have.
In one Japanese study, subjects known to have a strong reaction to poison ivy were told that one of their arms was being rubbed with poison ivy. Yikes! But researchers actually touched them with the leaf of a harmless plant. Every participant broke out in a poison-ivy-like rash.
The subjects were told that their other arm would be rubbed with a harmless plant. Instead, the researchers rubbed real poison ivy on them! But only two out of thirteen people had a reaction to it.
We can make ourselves sick and we can make ourselves well. The key is the incredible power of belief. It’s been thoroughly and indisputably proven, yet few people consciously exploit this magic on a regular basis. I’d like to change that.
As a start, I suggest we practice observing positive belief every time we put something into our bodies.
When you eat, try getting yourself mentally and emotionally enrolled in a positive expectation about how you’ll be affected by it. Admire the food. Tell yourself it’s going to be deeply nourishing. Your body is going to efficiently extract the nutrients and deliver them to all your tissues. It’s totally reasonable to expect that it will support clear thinking, high energy and mental calm, glowing skin, efficient digestion, optimal organ function, strong immunity, etc.
For best results I recommend building your expectations for a minute at the beginning of the meal, remembering this from time to time during the meal, and then happily anticipating the benefits after the meal.
You might even try bringing your attention inward, visualizing the nutrients being absorbed through your intestines and flowing into all of your cells, and telling yourself, “I allow myself to receive the fullest, most complete health benefit from this food” – or whatever words feel natural to you.
What happens when you say to yourself or a dining partner, “I feel really good from this food. My body thrives on good food. I can already tell that this meal is exactly what I needed”?
This should be even easier to do with supplements, herbs, and drugs, since you’re consuming them with a specific healing purpose and outcome in mind. Don’t forget it. Tell yourself as you swallow them (or apply them, if topical) that they’re going to do what they’re intended to do, that they’re perfectly compatible with your body, that the benefits are already starting (whether you can feel it or not).
If you make a practice of priming yourself to expect good things you’re significantly more likely to experience good things, to notice the good things, and to be grateful for them.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Expect Good Things: A Practice for Getting the Most Out of Food, Medicines, and Supplements
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When I was in grad school for Chinese Medicine, I’d often see students hanging around campus engaged in related ancient Chinese arts, such as tai chi, qi gong, calligraphy, studying Chinese astrology or feng shui. It was also common to see a group of students hitting themselves and each other.
They were training in the toughening exercises of martial arts, which I had never witnessed before. This entailed repeatedly knocking the edges of their shins or forearms against each other, or whacking their bodies with a thick bundle of metal wires (called an “iron bundle” or tetsutaba). As I tentatively tried hitting myself with this implement, one of them told me, “You really want to feel your bones rattle when you do it.” Needless to say, they had lots of bruises.
They finished every session by taking out a jug of some pungent brown liquid and rubbing it all over the impacted parts of their bodies. As an herbalist, this was the most interesting part for me. Each guy actually had his own jug of brown stuff, and they often argued about whose was the best.
The brown stuff was called dit da jow (AKA die da jiu) which means something like “hit fall wine” and it’s sometimes just called a hit formula or training formula by martial artists. The purpose of the stuff is to help one recover faster after taking a bunch of kicks and punches. It’s made from a variety of herbs, resins, and minerals that have been soaked in alcohol for about a month. Famous teachers and martial arts schools often have their own recipes, many of which have been in continuous use for centuries and are often held in great secrecy.
Over years of begging and pleading with my fighter friends and hunting down obscure texts, I managed to procure about a dozen different recipes, then proceeded to spend more years studying them. I had hundreds of jars of my own “brown liquids,” made out of countless combinations and permutations of these formulas. Since most of my patients weren’t fighters I expanded the application to include the various ways we’re battered by modern life – athletics, poor posture, sitting for way too long at a desk, carrying kids around, using backpacks, sleeping on a crappy bed, standing on hard floors, wearing heels, etc.
By tracking people’s responses, I gradually moved toward what would eventually be our Muscle Melt liniment. It features a gigantic number of ingredients, but every one is in there for a reason. My high-performance athlete patients regularly tell me that it makes it possible for them to do a super intense workout and be back in action the next day with minimal downtime. If you’re feeling beat up by life, give it a try and tell me what you think.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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When we ask our community what they need support with, fear and anxiety continue to be at the top of the list, so I decided to write a little more on this topic. I’ve found that there are many ways to overcome fear. What’s miraculous for one person might not have the same impact on another. In the right scenario it might be life changing to grab someone, look them in the eyes, and yell, “Snap out of it! Life is a miracle! Don’t let your runaway mind eclipse it!” In the wrong scenario, that might lead to the recipient screaming, “Ahhhh! Get your germs off me!”
That’s why I recommend scheduling a tele-session with me – rest assured I will neither grab you nor get germs on you! But seriously, a skilled outsider is often helpful because they can offer perspective and may be able to discern what the core instability is and how best to address it.
That said, almost everyone can do this themselves if they’re willing to take the time, do the work, and be uncomfortable. Actually, even if you’re working with a practitioner, you still have to take the time, do the work, and be uncomfortable if you really want to heal completely. But that work, time, and discomfort are all in service to a higher goal – real freedom and the emergence of your Highest Self as the true driver of this life.
There are two very common pitfalls along the journey of healing from chronic anxiety. The first is temporary comfort – finding ways to feel less anxious without really healing or changing how we relate to life and our mind. This isn’t specifically bad, but it almost inevitably means having relapse after relapse after relapse. The second pitfall is building a tolerance to a state of anxiousness. We get used to it and stop trying to overcome it, even though it degrades our quality of life.
If you feel ongoing anxiousness or fear, I encourage you to settle for nothing less than a lasting change in your fundamental orientation. That is: becoming a peaceful person. I don’t mean a person who never experiences strong emotions – including fear – but one who isn’t dominated by these emotions in a habitual or prolonged way.
A good place to start is by pondering what I said above about taking the time, doing the work, and being willingly uncomfortable. Almost nobody wants to do these things, especially since there used to be a time when you didn’t need to work to simply feel normal. We just want the feeling to go away. But when it keeps coming back, you may start to think, “What is it about my fundamental orientation that allows fear – specifically fear of imagined scenarios – to get a hold of me?” Then you may decide that finding ways to distract or soothe yourself are no longer enough, and so it’s time to get to work.
It’s natural to hope that there’s a way in which some influence – a healer, a dietary supplement, a crystal – will just correct you. If you find it, congratulations! But in the meantime, let’s look at what this time, work, and discomfort entail.
Everyone’s work is unique. Someone could point out to you, “This is how you’re operating and you’re suffering because of it,” but that won’t change anything unless you experience it, you make the connection, and you choose to change course.
It’s work you’re totally capable of doing. You’ve done harder things in life, but because they were more objective – like finishing college or assembling an Ikea nuclear reactor – you had a clearer sense of how far along you were and how much farther you had to go. Unfortunately, the milestones aren’t as clear with working through fear, but they are there, and actively noticing them is an important part of keeping yourself on track and feeling positive. For example, looking back and rating each day or each week as to how peaceful you were, or rating how well you handled a certain situation, will give you something more objective to validate your progress.
I want to point out that I don’t call it “work” because it’s such a long journey to get to peace. The state you yearn for – a state of true stability and inner calm – isn’t far away. It’s so close. It’s right on the other side of the thinnest veil. You are entirely capable of cutting through that veil of fearful thoughts and remembering the truth – that you are bigger than all of this, that what you are is eternal and can never be harmed, that you are one with the Divine, one with Love, and that peace and lightness and clarity are a choice that is always available to you.
The reason I call it work is mostly because you’re coming up against longstanding habits. It takes consistency to undo the way you’ve been thinking, and more importantly, the way you’ve been letting your thoughts steal all your attention and run the show. It’s work to become mindful, and mindfulness is the single most powerful cure for chronic anxiety. It means paying attention in a way you probably haven’t done much since childhood. Paying attention to the truth of what’s here and now rather than paying attention always to your thoughts and letting them take you out of the moment. And sometimes, it takes work to unearth the deeper underpinnings of fear – whether from a trauma, from early childhood, or inherited from generations before you. Again, it’s work you are absolutely capable of doing.
For now, the work I recommend is this:
(1) As often as you remember throughout the day, bring your attention to whatever you’re doing. Not to the goal of what you’re doing, but to what’s happening right now. Stay. In. This. Moment. Notice how it opens and deepens when you give it your full attention.
(2) When fear arises, take every opportunity to be curious about it. Take every opportunity to follow it and engage with it in a non-resistant way. Your job is to stalk it, gain it’s trust, catch it, become the world’s foremost expert on it. Learn where it lives. Learn it’s tricks. Ask it to show itself. Be willing to feel it with your whole being. Always ask for more. When you feel a flutter of it, notice the tendency to avoid it, to distract yourself, or to push it down. Instead, always turn toward it. Always engage it. Always invite it. Always expect it to come back. And always remember you can do this.
Love,
Peter
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