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Spring is here! In this seasonal phase we are naturally filled with many of the qualities that are currently on display in the natural world. In Five Element philosophy it’s the season ruled by Wood, which is exemplified by all plant life, and specifically the ways of plants in the spring. In order to break out of the dormancy of winter and still withstand the occasional freeze, spring shoots are tenacious, determined, and robust. They also have to be flexible. These virtues are available to humans if we pay attention and tap into them.
In case you don’t have our book, Rituals for Transformation, here’s an excerpt from Lesson 77: My Flexibility Allows Me to Respond with Grace to What Life Brings.
Like every tree, you are rooted in the earth. You’re grounded in the material world. And like every tree, you grow upward, striving toward something transcendent and unseen. You grow from potential to expression. And like any healthy tree, you are served by the quality of flexibility.
Flexibility is the opposite of rigidity, the opposite of a fixed, static, immovable viewpoint. It entails meeting life organically, based on how it really is, rather than on your stories or beliefs. It asks you to let go of the need to be right. Rather than throwing the pieces on the floor when you encounter an obstacle, flexibility keeps you in the game. Like a supple vine, you find a healthy way to grow around it.
When you encounter the unexpected, which is most definitely to be expected, with flexibility you meet it openly; you dance with it; you learn something new. Flexibility is unattached to the specifics of how the will of your Highest Self is expressed through you. Knowing you will be an emissary of Love, flexibility says, “Use me. I don’t need to be in control. I don’t need to dictate the terms.”
Today, challenge yourself to be more flexible of both body and mind.
And if you like the idea of going on a 108-day journey of self-growth, healing, and spiritual awakening, check out Rituals for Transformation. Since its first printing six years ago, we have been continually humbled and delighted by the many stories of beautiful transformations we’ve received from readers.
With love,
Peter
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As a young adult living in Western Massachusetts, I had a handful of friends who attended Hampshire College. Hampshire is well known for being highly unconventional. There are no majors, no departments, and no grades. So much of the program is up to the student, including a final yearlong project. I could see why it was appealing, especially to people who didn’t seem to fit into typical academic institutions.
When I first heard these friends talk of the wonderfully freeform nature of their college experience, I was envious. In later years, as they found it increasingly challenging to keep themselves on course, I remember saying, “That kind of program wouldn’t work for me.” I realized, with no shame at all, that I needed way (way) more hand-holding. Only one of my Hampshire friends graduated. I guess they needed more hand-holding too.
There are a number of reasons we avoid getting help or taking direction:
- We’re too proud to admit we need help.
- We’re afraid of opening up, being vulnerable, or appearing weak.
- We think nobody is capable of helping us.
- We don’t want to be controlled or guided in a way we don’t like.
- We don’t want to be told what to do.
- We don’t want to be a burden.
- We don’t want to share the credit.
- We feel it’s less of an accomplishment if we get help.
- We believe we need to do things all by ourselves.
This last one is a common inherited belief, though nearly every impressive historical figure had a team of supporters. Yes, there’s a grain of truth to it: each of us is responsible for ourselves, our choices and actions. Each of us is responsible for how we show up in the world. Nobody can do the internal work for us. But it’s perfectly okay to get tons of help along the way. It doesn’t diminish the outcome. In fact, we connect and improve through the process when we let others in. This is true even when it comes to healing and spirituality. It’s time to let go of the “Lone Ranger complex.”
Guidance and mutual support are an important part of why our program, Sacred Expansion, has been so successful. We created Sacred Expansion as a prerequisite for our life coaching trainees, as we feel it’s important to “clean house” before guiding others. It was designed to help people get to know themselves more deeply, release old unhealthy patterns, and open to a state of greater intuition and trust – all within a group of others on the same journey.
It turned out to be so monumental for our early participants that we decided to make Sacred Expansion available as a stand-alone course. Enrollment is happening NOW! You’ll be lovingly led by my wife, Briana, through an exploration of yourself through the metaphors of the seasons. And you’ll come out of it with greater clarity and self-awareness, less baggage, a deeper connection to Spirit, and the tools to continue the process on your own. I encourage you to do it!
Also, I recommend you look back at that list of reasons we avoid getting help and see if there are any that ring a bell for you. If so, consider the following questions. Is this belief true? (E.g., Is it true that nobody could help me? Is it true that if I asked for help, it would compromise me in some critical way? Is it true that it’s less of an accomplishment if I get help?) And then meditate on what life might be like if you felt completely at ease and unembarrassed about asking for help and graciously receiving it?
Be well,
Peter
P.S. Early Bird pricing for Sacred Expansion is currently in progress. Sign up today and save $200! On August 17th, the price goes up, so if you want to join us, don't miss this opportunity!
Click here to enroll today!
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Optimism is a choice and it’s a possibility that available to all of us. If optimism hasn’t come naturally to you, it’s simply a consequence of habits of thinking which can be changed. Changing the way you think takes focused effort, but it works more quickly than you might guess. Plus, the fast return on your effort helps support your enthusiasm to keep at it.
The Dreambook – the life planner Briana and I created – is an excellent tool for implementing such a change. Simply following the method in the book will make you more optimistic. You’ll be doing things like: identifying your gifts, values, and purpose and consciously bringing them into your daily activities; clarifying your dreams and figuring out what truly makes you feel happy and productive; setting goals, breaking them down into manageable plans, and scheduling those plans in your calendar; prioritizing the things that feed your soul; expressing gratitude; and more.
Besides resulting in great tangible improvements, this structure builds self-trust and a positive outlook. It works.
Beyond the basic processes in the book, you can use its planning, scheduling, and tracking tools to work in scientifically proven tactics for supporting an optimistic mindset. Here are a few to try:
- Do kind things for people every day.
- Print out pictures of friends, family, inspiring people and put them in your space.
- Meditate. It supports peace, positivity, and perspective.
- Avoid negative media (and reduce media consumption overall).
- Spend money on fun and memorable experiences (rather than entirely on stuff)
- Treat your leisure time as a deliberate and purposeful activity. Go all-in, don’t be thinking about the “productive” things you could be doing instead.
- Routinely remind yourself of your strengths. If you can’t readily think of them, ask friends to help you identify them and write them down.
- Cultivate a “growth mindset” – believe in your ability to improve, and see failure as a learning experience.
- Maintain an environment that’s full of humor, happiness, and beauty and take little breaks throughout the day to notice these things.
- When stuck in a mundane task, figure out a way that it’s going to serve a higher purpose. Even if it seems relatively insignificant in itself, what does it enable that’s more important?
- As you begin a task take a moment to expect a positive outcome (using self-talk about your strengths and track record, or simply visualizing things going well). This primes you to perform well and spot opportunities.
- Focus on what’s working well in your life.
- Make a commitment to stop complaining.
- Write down what you’re grateful for daily.
- Give a genuine compliment to someone every day.
- Catch yourself in negative trains of thought; pick up your attention and put it on something else.
- Remember that a hardship is not a sign that everything is going wrong, or that it’s bound to snowball into more hardship. Every day people turn hardship into opportunity.
- Before speaking / posting, ask yourself: (1) Is it true? (2) Is it kind? (3) Is it necessary? (4) What is my purpose? (5) Does it improve upon the silence?
- Slow and deepen your breathing – this helps slow down your mind and promotes more evolved thinking.
- Sit / stand up straight. Don’t slouch.
- Journal about your positive experiences – this grows them and helps them sink in.
- Appreciate small changes in the right direction. Lots of small changes are more likely and more sustainable than one giant change, and they amount to the same degree of change.
- Exercise.
- Exchange touch more often. A hug, a pat on the shoulder, a handshake, a massage – we’re wired to associate welcome touch with feeling safe, calm, and connected.
- Make it harder for yourself to engage in behaviors that don’t serve you (e.g., put the candy out of reach).
- Make it easier for yourself to engage in behaviors that are good for you (e.g., put your exercise equipment in a place that’s easy to access and pre-determine when / where / how you’re going to exercise).
- Prioritize your relationships!
- Don’t get pessimistic by focusing on short-term downward trends; back up far enough to see the broader trend toward betterment.
- Read about the lives of impressive people.
- Believe in human potential, ingenuity, and compassion. We can accomplish incredible things.
Whew! That’s enough to completely revolutionize even the most cynical pessimist’s perspective.
I encourage you to copy/paste or print out that list and stick it in your 2022 Dreambook and work these approaches into your schedule. Pepper your pages with reminders. Give each one a good, consistent shot. Positive people don’t just have a better experience of life, they change the experience of those around them.
You rock,
Peter
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Spring is here! In this seasonal phase we are naturally filled with many of the qualities that are currently on display in the natural world. In Five Element philosophy it’s the season ruled by Wood, which is exemplified by all plant life, and specifically the ways of plants in the spring. In order to break out of the dormancy of winter and still withstand the occasional freeze, spring shoots are tenacious, determined, and robust. They also have to be flexible. These virtues are available to humans if we pay attention and tap into them.
In case you don’t have our book, Rituals for Transformation, here’s an excerpt from Lesson 77: My Flexibility Allows Me to Respond with Grace to What Life Brings.
Like every tree, you are rooted in the earth. You’re grounded in the material world. And like every tree, you grow upward, striving toward something transcendent and unseen. You grow from potential to expression. And like any healthy tree, you are served by the quality of flexibility.
Flexibility is the opposite of rigidity, the opposite of a fixed, static, immovable viewpoint. It entails meeting life organically, based on how it really is, rather than on your stories or beliefs. It asks you to let go of the need to be right. Rather than throwing the pieces on the floor when you encounter an obstacle, flexibility keeps you in the game. Like a supple vine, you find a healthy way to grow around it.
When you encounter the unexpected, which is most definitely to be expected, with flexibility you meet it openly; you dance with it; you learn something new. Flexibility is unattached to the specifics of how the will of your Highest Self is expressed through you. Knowing you will be an emissary of Love, flexibility says, “Use me. I don’t need to be in control. I don’t need to dictate the terms.”
Today, challenge yourself to be more flexible of both body and mind.
And if you like the idea of going on a 108-day journey of self-growth, healing, and spiritual awakening, check out Rituals for Transformation. Since its first printing six years ago, we have been continually humbled and delighted by the many stories of beautiful transformations we’ve received from readers.
With love,
Peter
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