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Have You Been Giving Away Your Power?

When I first heard the term “take back your power” some decades ago, I thought it pertained mostly to relationships in which one person was overly submissive to the other…. Read More

Turn Your Dreams into Choices

Several years ago, Briana asked me, “What are your dreams?” and I discovered there was a hitch in my thinking about dreams. Somehow “dreams” had come to represent crazy or… Read More

What I Don’t Want You to Know About Me

I once participated in a weekend training that included a process called “What I Don’t Want You To Know About Me.” We took turns standing up and telling the rest… Read More

Best Dreambook Ever

I’m not really an excitable type of person. I can’t remember the last time I jumped up and down while clapping my hands and making whooping noises (generally I perform… Read More

Make Good Habits Stick

A few years ago, we added a simple habit-tracking system in our ever popular Dreambook. Users can track up to four habits at a time, marking their progress on each… Read More

You are the Certainty in Uncertain Times

This time last year we were in the midst of the covid crisis, a race crisis, and an intense presidential race. I wrote that a good plan and a strong… Read More

Living Your Purpose

There’s been a huge surge of interest in the Dreambook this year, so I decided to share a bit more about what makes it special. It’s easy when life feels… Read More

5 Things to Journal About and Why

There is so much research about the benefits of journaling: stress relief, sparks creativity, improves confidence, helps with conflict resolution, improves writing, boosts memory, increases emotional intelligence, helps achieve goals,… Read More

Avenues for Awakening

As I explained last week, a few years ago Briana started writing a book that directly speaks about spirituality and the awakening of human consciousness. I like the word awakening… Read More

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I saw that I was choosing the big, dramatic grieving process I was going through. And that meant it was optional. In The Art of Presence, Eckhart Tolle says, “Through thought you cannot possibly grasp what presence is.” But he gives some clues to point us in the right direction. He says it’s there, “when you’re not thinking about the last moment, or looking to the next one.” And he uses phrases like “a state of relaxed alertness” and “a spacious stillness,” to describe it. Thich Nhat Hanh said, “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.” Our presence is tremendously rare and hugely valuable. Especially in this age of epidemic distraction, it’s increasingly difficult and uncommon to choose a voluntary time-out from technology, data, and our own mental analysis. But unlike the artificial value of a coin that accidentally got stamped with a head on both sides, our presence can do for us what nothing else can. And we can make it more abundant by simply choosing it. Although it may not put food in our belly, most other problems disappear with presence. The need to fix or relive the past disappears. The need to avoid certain unwanted events in the future disappears. Even if we're working on something now that will benefit us in the future, with our presence, we work on it now in order to work on it now. And that’s enough. The allure of distraction, which so often threatens our presence, dissolves when we practice being present. Do you know the word obviate? I like to write using words that almost everyone understands, but there’s only one word I can think of that means “to make unnecessary,” and that word is obviate. Learning to deepen our presence obviates the urge for distraction and mental departure from our current reality. With presence, we perceive all kinds of intelligence and detail that we’re otherwise deaf and blind to. We know when to eat and when to stop eating. We know how to move our body in a way that doesn’t cause pain or injury. Our work becomes more interesting. Our relationships become healthier. We listen better and we feel heard. With two kids, my presence is requested almost incessantly. I hear the word Papa at least 100 times a day. Often, I hear it ten or more times in quick succession. We all yearn for someone’s total presence with us. These are the moments of connection between what is the same in both of us. Presence uncovers what’s real in this moment. And that’s refreshing, exciting, and affirming. When we’re all so busy that we see time as a commodity, it can seem that giving our presence to someone else is like giving away our treasure. But are we actually giving something away? Of course not. When we “give” our presence we gain the present. To withhold our presence means both we and the other person miss out. So, how can you learn to be more present? It takes practice. If you’re new to this, I don’t recommend making a goal like, “I’m going to be more present from now on.” I don’t want to discourage you, I just want you to be realistic about what you’re up against – a lifetime of habits and a sea of tantalizing distractions. Try something a bit less ambitious, such as this: Once a day, as you begin some activity – whether it’s buying groceries, playing Candyland, eating a meal, and listening to a friend’s problems – select this activity as an exercise in presence. In your mind, identify what exactly you’re doing – “I’m vacuuming the floor” – and devote yourself to that. Don’t run away in the middle of the activity. This means don’t pick up your phone, don’t depart in your mind to explore other thoughts and ideas, don’t visit the past, don’t anticipate what’s next, don’t judge. Just dwell in the present. Be saturated by the present. Feel everything. Accept everything. And let each next moment come. Over time, quicker than you might think, you’ll start regaining your attention. You’ll be able to focus on something for more than five seconds. You’ll begin to yearn for this, which will make your practice much easier. And as you start willingly selecting more and more moments to be completely present, you’ll experience an unending offering of presents. Be well, Dr. Peter Borten [post_title] => A Free Pile of Presents Just for You [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => a-free-pile-of-presents-just-for-you [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-04-08 21:50:03 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-04-08 21:50:03 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8641 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [1] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 9015 [post_author] => 5 [post_date] => 2023-04-14 19:08:46 [post_date_gmt] => 2023-04-14 19:08:46 [post_content] => Spring is here! In this seasonal phase we are naturally filled with many of the qualities that are currently on display in the natural world. In Five Element philosophy it’s the season ruled by Wood, which is exemplified by all plant life, and specifically the ways of plants in the spring. In order to break out of the dormancy of winter and still withstand the occasional freeze, spring shoots are tenacious, determined, and robust. They also have to be flexible. These virtues are available to humans if we pay attention and tap into them. In case you don’t have our book, Rituals for Transformation, here’s an excerpt from Lesson 77: My Flexibility Allows Me to Respond with Grace to What Life Brings. Like every tree, you are rooted in the earth. You’re grounded in the material world. And like every tree, you grow upward, striving toward something transcendent and unseen. You grow from potential to expression. And like any healthy tree, you are served by the quality of flexibility. Flexibility is the opposite of rigidity, the opposite of a fixed, static, immovable viewpoint. It entails meeting life organically, based on how it really is, rather than on your stories or beliefs. It asks you to let go of the need to be right. Rather than throwing the pieces on the floor when you encounter an obstacle, flexibility keeps you in the game. Like a supple vine, you find a healthy way to grow around it. When you encounter the unexpected, which is most definitely to be expected, with flexibility you meet it openly; you dance with it; you learn something new. Flexibility is unattached to the specifics of how the will of your Highest Self is expressed through you. Knowing you will be an emissary of Love, flexibility says, “Use me. I don’t need to be in control. I don’t need to dictate the terms.” Today, challenge yourself to be more flexible of both body and mind. And if you like the idea of going on a 108-day journey of self-growth, healing, and spiritual awakening, check out Rituals for Transformation. Since its first printing six years ago, we have been continually humbled and delighted by the many stories of beautiful transformations we’ve received from readers. With love, Peter [post_title] => From Potential to Expression: The Power of Flexibility in Life [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => from-potential-to-expression-the-power-of-flexibility-in-life [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2023-04-14 19:08:46 [post_modified_gmt] => 2023-04-14 19:08:46 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=9015 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8647 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2022-04-21 20:57:54 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-04-21 20:57:54 [post_content] => A few weeks ago I wrote about the “gaps” in everyday reality when the spiritual dimension peeks through. Sometimes they’re so profound they change us forever. Like opening the curtains to a view of life that’s truer and freer than the story we’ve been perpetuating. More often they’re like little moments of remembering or brief glimmers of magic. Each one might not be earth-shaking, but when invited to come more often and to stay for longer, they begin to open us in a lasting way. By this I mean we expand into a sense of self that’s bigger than this personality and its circumstances. Why would someone want this? Some people want it because they’re driven to know the truth. Others want it because it tends to translate to qualities of freedom and peace that are unattainable through “ordinary” means. Usually we think of peace as a condition that results from all circumstances being in relative harmony, and we think of freedom as a condition of certain liberties ensured by our government. But this peace and freedom are present regardless of our circumstances. There are many ways to facilitate this process. Here are a few:

Stay in the present moment. These gaps don’t happen in the past or the future, they always happen now, so we must be dwelling in the present in order to experience them. Be a willing participant in whatever is happening right now. Stay here with your whole being, as often as you can muster.
Expect magic. You’re less likely to notice something you aren’t expecting (and even less likely to notice something you don’t believe it). If you expect magic, you’ll discover magic. What qualifies as magic? Virtually everything, if you’re fully open and present to it, holds awe-inspiring magic. Science and spirit both. When you expect magic, it’s not like magical things start popping up everywhere. The magical things already are everywhere; the difference is your clouded lens clears up and you see it.
When you experience a “gap” or some magic, trust it. Don’t grasp at it. Don’t rush to write or talk about it. Don’t reach for your phone. If you feel yourself yearning to latch onto something habitual, just notice that squirming feeling inside you that wants the comfort of routine (even though it pales in comparison to this). Breathe and stay with it. Say “yes” to it with your whole being.
Approach life with humility and innocence. Don’t assume anything. Drop your preconceptions and labels. See, hear, and feel the aspects of life that you’re not usually drawn to. Notice the spaces between the objects you usually focus on. What’s happening in the background? And how about the background behind the background?
Take our course, Sacred Expansion. It starts on May 3rd and the purpose is to guide participants to discover what’s keeping you blocked or confined and help you expand into who you really are. Laura, a past participant, had this to say about her experience in the course: Sacred expansion truly changed my life. I was finally able to see me and begin the process of releasing the layers of ego identities and belief systems that were limiting my growth. People say I am like a different person now versus then. However, I liken it to my being myself without the encumbrances I was carrying that were not me. Click here for more information.

When we started the Dragontree, our mission was (and still is) to help people find peace. Back then it was mainly through massage, acupuncture, and healthy living. Over the years we’ve increasingly focused on guiding people to peace by helping them expand beyond their “small self.” I hope these suggestions help you do that. Be well, Peter [post_title] => Freedom and Peace Regardless of Your Circumstances [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => freedom-and-peace-regardless-of-your-circumstances [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2022-04-21 21:26:58 [post_modified_gmt] => 2022-04-21 21:26:58 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8647 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) ) [post_count] => 3 [current_post] => -1 [before_loop] => 1 [in_the_loop] => [post] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8641 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2022-04-08 21:50:03 [post_date_gmt] => 2022-04-08 21:50:03 [post_content] => During a particularly hard break-up in my 20s, a friend advised me, “The more present you are during this process, the bigger the present you’ll get out of it.” And though I barely understood what that meant, I gave it a try and an odd thing happened. I saw that I was choosing the big, dramatic grieving process I was going through. And that meant it was optional. In The Art of Presence, Eckhart Tolle says, “Through thought you cannot possibly grasp what presence is.” But he gives some clues to point us in the right direction. He says it’s there, “when you’re not thinking about the last moment, or looking to the next one.” And he uses phrases like “a state of relaxed alertness” and “a spacious stillness,” to describe it. Thich Nhat Hanh said, “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.” Our presence is tremendously rare and hugely valuable. Especially in this age of epidemic distraction, it’s increasingly difficult and uncommon to choose a voluntary time-out from technology, data, and our own mental analysis. But unlike the artificial value of a coin that accidentally got stamped with a head on both sides, our presence can do for us what nothing else can. And we can make it more abundant by simply choosing it. Although it may not put food in our belly, most other problems disappear with presence. The need to fix or relive the past disappears. The need to avoid certain unwanted events in the future disappears. Even if we're working on something now that will benefit us in the future, with our presence, we work on it now in order to work on it now. And that’s enough. The allure of distraction, which so often threatens our presence, dissolves when we practice being present. Do you know the word obviate? I like to write using words that almost everyone understands, but there’s only one word I can think of that means “to make unnecessary,” and that word is obviate. Learning to deepen our presence obviates the urge for distraction and mental departure from our current reality. With presence, we perceive all kinds of intelligence and detail that we’re otherwise deaf and blind to. We know when to eat and when to stop eating. We know how to move our body in a way that doesn’t cause pain or injury. Our work becomes more interesting. Our relationships become healthier. We listen better and we feel heard. With two kids, my presence is requested almost incessantly. I hear the word Papa at least 100 times a day. Often, I hear it ten or more times in quick succession. We all yearn for someone’s total presence with us. These are the moments of connection between what is the same in both of us. Presence uncovers what’s real in this moment. And that’s refreshing, exciting, and affirming. When we’re all so busy that we see time as a commodity, it can seem that giving our presence to someone else is like giving away our treasure. But are we actually giving something away? Of course not. When we “give” our presence we gain the present. To withhold our presence means both we and the other person miss out. So, how can you learn to be more present? It takes practice. If you’re new to this, I don’t recommend making a goal like, “I’m going to be more present from now on.” I don’t want to discourage you, I just want you to be realistic about what you’re up against – a lifetime of habits and a sea of tantalizing distractions. Try something a bit less ambitious, such as this: Once a day, as you begin some activity – whether it’s buying groceries, playing Candyland, eating a meal, and listening to a friend’s problems – select this activity as an exercise in presence. In your mind, identify what exactly you’re doing – “I’m vacuuming the floor” – and devote yourself to that. Don’t run away in the middle of the activity. This means don’t pick up your phone, don’t depart in your mind to explore other thoughts and ideas, don’t visit the past, don’t anticipate what’s next, don’t judge. Just dwell in the present. Be saturated by the present. Feel everything. Accept everything. And let each next moment come. Over time, quicker than you might think, you’ll start regaining your attention. You’ll be able to focus on something for more than five seconds. You’ll begin to yearn for this, which will make your practice much easier. And as you start willingly selecting more and more moments to be completely present, you’ll experience an unending offering of presents. 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You may also be interested in:

A Free Pile of Presents Just for You

From Potential to Expression: The Power of Flexibility in Life

Freedom and Peace Regardless of Your Circumstances

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