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When we read about historical figures or people in the news, it’s easy to get the message that it’s big things that make a life exceptional, that the individuals who climb Mount Everest, develop a vaccine, or save a species from the brink of extinction are defining greatness for us all. If that’s what you feel called to do, I don’t want to lower the bar for you. I love massive achievements that benefit the common welfare!
But I also want to put in a good word for the consistent accomplishment of small things. Over a lifetime, this, too, can amount to something exceptional.
I’ve treated a number of patients with huge accomplishments under their belts – founders and CEOs of giant companies, inventors, professional athletes, artists, musicians, and authors. Clearly, they derived satisfaction from those big successes, but the day-to-day ingredients of happiness are the same for them as for anyone else. And, in general, I wouldn’t say they were happier or more satisfied with their lives than most people.
These ingredients are things like: connection with people, animals, nature, and Spirit; savoring food, music, and beauty; serving others and contributing to one’s community; completing meaningful tasks; learning and bettering oneself; and being present with the here and now so that we feel the magic of it. These “small things” aren’t highly visible, but they amount to so much.
This is one of the main reasons Briana and I started to create our own planner about a decade ago. We had always relied on planners, but found that traditional planners caused us to focus mainly on appointments and tasks. That’s what they’re for, right?
Appointments and tasks are useful, of course, but if this is what we fill our planner with, our life map can easily become defined by the things we need to get done. We wanted to create something that would (1) encourage us to define and adhere to an overarching vision and plan for our life (so that we’d consciously relate to our appointments and tasks as contributing to that plan), and (2) help us to prioritize the vital ingredients mentioned above.
Thus, the Dreambook was born. Through tools like Habit Tracking, Rituals for Thriving, defining your gifts, values, and purpose, and getting crystal clear on the aspects of life that truly nourish you, you can start to move these elements to the forefront – rather than the “extra credit” status they may currently occupy.
We can’t all devote our lives to world-famous-level accomplishments, but it’s important to recognize that the big stuff is dependent on the little stuff. If everyone wanted to be Elon Musk, who would be left to teach our children or nurse the sick? But if we all align our tasks with a broader vision of mutual evolution and wellness while consistently dedicating ourselves to the “small” but virtuous ingredients mentioned above, this will change the world a whole lot faster.
Use the Dreambook to help contextualize your work and interests within the bigger picture of who you want to be and what kind of world you want to live in, and then use the book and the Dragontree online community to help you stay on track. We’re here for you!
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => The Main Ingredients in a High Level Quality of Life
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I feel the more we celebrate, the better our quality of life. And there are two holidays worth taking time out for this week. Today, June 19th is Juneteenth, and Tuesday, June 21st is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. I think it’s appropriate that Juneteenth falls so close to the summer solstice, because both symbolize a certain abundance of light.
Juneteenth is a celebration of the emancipation of African American slaves. Throughout the Civil War, many slaveholders moved to remote areas to escape the fighting and hold onto their slaves. When Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation went into effect on January 1, 1863, nothing changed where it wasn’t enforced. This was especially the case in Texas, where there were still a quarter million slaves in 1865, even after General Lee surrendered the Confederacy.
On June 19th, 1865, Union General Gordon Granger presented Texas with a proclamation that read, “The people of Texas are informed that, in accordance with a proclamation from the Executive of the United States, all slaves are free. This involves an absolute equality of personal rights and rights of property between former masters and slaves, and the connection heretofore existing between them becomes that between employer and hired labor.”
Although the enforcement of the law took years, and there’s still plenty of work ahead of us, June 19th became a day of celebration. Known as Juneteenth, it’s the longest standing African American holiday. The abolition of slavery was like clearing a dark cloud that had long hung over the country. It was the beginning of allowing African Americans to be their own people and freely shine their light.
There’s no way to undo the suffering caused by slavery and its aftermath of discrimination and systemic oppression, but one step in the right direction – especially for White people – is to recognize how much this country has benefited from the presence of African Americans. Just when the light of the sun is at its peak, we have the opportunity on Juneteenth (and always) to celebrate the light that’s symbolic of the African American soul, which has persevered through unimaginable violence and injustice, and evolved into an incredible cultural identity.
Despite comprising just 13% of our population, African Americans have had a disproportionately significant influence on the United States. From music to art to cuisine to literature to science to leadership to religion and more, it’s all around us.
So, let’s celebrate the light this week.
☀️ Bask in the sun. Try this simple “solar energy” meditation: Inhale for a count of 4 while imagining you’re absorbing the sun through your pores, deep into your body. Hold your breath for a count of 4 while imagining the solar energy working its way into all your cells and charging all your atoms. Exhale for a count of 4 while imagining you’re beaming the sunlight out of every pore. Hold (with empty lungs) for a count of 4 while basking in your own glow around you. Then repeat.
☀️ Open your heart and shine your light into every environment you find yourself in.
☀️ Make a conscious choice to see the light in everyone you encounter.
☀️ Enjoy the contributions of African American writers, musicians, chefs, comedians, and influencers.
☀️ Whatever your race, consider how you've benefited from the influence of courageous and visionary African Americans, then take some action to honor this light and support our work toward true equity.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => A Double Serving of Light
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Last week I wrote about the many reasons we don’t ask for help, including what I think of the “Lone Ranger complex,” where we believe there’s great merit in doing everything by ourselves. Sure, there’s a sense of accomplishment, but we still get that feeling even when we accomplish something with the help of others.
I brought this up because enrollment is currently open for our Sacred Expansion course, which is a group-oriented approach to personal growth. Even though the internal exploration is ultimately up to each of us, we can benefit from being guided through a tried-and-true framework, discussing the experience with people on the same path, and holding hands along the way.
Why is it good to do such things with other people? I’m glad you asked. Here are a few reasons.
- We see that other people have the same stuff we do. We’re not alone in our weirdness or our struggles. It’s relieving to know that there’s little that you’ve thought, felt, or gone through that someone else out there doesn’t share.
- Further, we get to see that most people aren’t alienated by our challenges. While we may tend to fear that the world would disapprove and abandon us if it knew XYZ about us (that we’re insecure, we pick our nose, we aren’t that spiritual, we’re always sucking in our belly, we yell at our kids, we use the code for bulk conventional rice when we actually have a bag of organic rice, we snort bath salts, etc.), the truth is our friends and family are unlikely to be ruffled by any of it. More relief.
- We get the opportunity to be seen in our light and reminded of our strengths. While we may be hyper-focused on our problems and faults, others can help remind us that we’re so much more.
- We get “borrowed benefits” (to use a term coined by EFT-creator Gary Craig) from witnessing and helping others work through their problems. In the process, our own knots may begin to loosen and/or we may get insights that can be applied to our life.
- We get to be of service to others. Giving is receiving. It is as much a gift to us as it is to them.
- We learn from others’ reflections of us. The accuracy of self-reflection waxes and wanes, since we’re always seeing ourselves through a certain lens. Sometimes having someone tell us, kindly and truthfully, what they see in us can illuminate our blind spots. It can be difficult to receive this feedback, but may be instrumental in our development.
- We get to experience true connection. When operating from our default habits, we often relate to each other through many layers of mental static. What may look like a conversation between two humans could actually be … me acting out a personality I’ve constructed based on what I think is most impressive and approval-worthy, relating not to the real you, but to the mental representation I’ve made of you, based on my stereotypes, stories, and past experience of you (acting through your own filtered self). Miraculously, my true Self and your true Self can find a way to connect through all this fog. It’s therapeutic to do so. And it serves to dismantle all the crap that gets in the way.
- It helps cure us of one of the most damaging and widely held beliefs in the world: we’re all separate. The denial of our connectedness, especially combined with the belief that there isn’t enough, is a recipe for suffering. It makes us feel alone, vulnerable, judged, and in competition – rather than collaboration – with the rest of our species. But the more we let others into our life, the less we’re controlled by this belief. This is especially true when we share with others about the very issues that make us feel alone, vulnerable, judged, and in competition.
So, I heartily encourage you to find ways to grow in the company of likeminded others! Sacred Expansion is a good place to start. We created it as a preliminary course for our life coaches-in-training, but it soon became clear that it’s such an important and valuable program that we decided to make it available on its own. It’s about getting to know yourself and your place in the natural world, clearing patterns that hold you back, and reconnecting with your peaceful, trustworthy, essential Self.
Love,
Peter
[post_title] => Get By With a Little Help From Your Friends
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When we read about historical figures or people in the news, it’s easy to get the message that it’s big things that make a life exceptional, that the individuals who climb Mount Everest, develop a vaccine, or save a species from the brink of extinction are defining greatness for us all. If that’s what you feel called to do, I don’t want to lower the bar for you. I love massive achievements that benefit the common welfare!
But I also want to put in a good word for the consistent accomplishment of small things. Over a lifetime, this, too, can amount to something exceptional.
I’ve treated a number of patients with huge accomplishments under their belts – founders and CEOs of giant companies, inventors, professional athletes, artists, musicians, and authors. Clearly, they derived satisfaction from those big successes, but the day-to-day ingredients of happiness are the same for them as for anyone else. And, in general, I wouldn’t say they were happier or more satisfied with their lives than most people.
These ingredients are things like: connection with people, animals, nature, and Spirit; savoring food, music, and beauty; serving others and contributing to one’s community; completing meaningful tasks; learning and bettering oneself; and being present with the here and now so that we feel the magic of it. These “small things” aren’t highly visible, but they amount to so much.
This is one of the main reasons Briana and I started to create our own planner about a decade ago. We had always relied on planners, but found that traditional planners caused us to focus mainly on appointments and tasks. That’s what they’re for, right?
Appointments and tasks are useful, of course, but if this is what we fill our planner with, our life map can easily become defined by the things we need to get done. We wanted to create something that would (1) encourage us to define and adhere to an overarching vision and plan for our life (so that we’d consciously relate to our appointments and tasks as contributing to that plan), and (2) help us to prioritize the vital ingredients mentioned above.
Thus, the Dreambook was born. Through tools like Habit Tracking, Rituals for Thriving, defining your gifts, values, and purpose, and getting crystal clear on the aspects of life that truly nourish you, you can start to move these elements to the forefront – rather than the “extra credit” status they may currently occupy.
We can’t all devote our lives to world-famous-level accomplishments, but it’s important to recognize that the big stuff is dependent on the little stuff. If everyone wanted to be Elon Musk, who would be left to teach our children or nurse the sick? But if we all align our tasks with a broader vision of mutual evolution and wellness while consistently dedicating ourselves to the “small” but virtuous ingredients mentioned above, this will change the world a whole lot faster.
Use the Dreambook to help contextualize your work and interests within the bigger picture of who you want to be and what kind of world you want to live in, and then use the book and the Dragontree online community to help you stay on track. We’re here for you!
Be well,
Peter
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