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Over the past several weeks, we’ve been looking at the factors that make for a longer, richer, more alive life.: (1) Loving life and living for the present (2) Working, stretching, and relaxing all parts of yourself (3) Dancing with consciousness (4) Reducing media consumption (5) Paying attention to your breathing (6) Eating less (7) Prioritizing community and service (8) Exchanging love and touch. You can read more about all these topics on our blog (there’s a lot more to them than the list you just read!). Today I’ll add a couple more items to the list.
#9: Optimize Your Sleep.
There are people who live long lives but don’t sleep well or much, but they tend to be outliers. Virtually everyone lives better, if not also longer, with good sleep. One of the leading causes of death has always been accidents and we’re a lot more likely to have them when we’re tired or mentally cloudy. Furthermore, when we’re well rested, we’re more likely to operate from the “evolved human” part of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) – thinking rationally and broadly. When we’re tired, we often default to the primitive “animal brain” and make decisions based on survival, pleasure-seeking, and pain-avoidance.
There’s really no substitute for adequate, replenishing sleep. If you want to learn something, you need sleep to imprint what you’re learning in a lasting way. If you want to get stronger, you need sleep to turn all that exercise and protein into muscle tissue. If you want emotional intelligence, patience, and mature communication, you need sleep in order to be non-reactive. If you want optimal performance in anything – music, chess, gymnastics, or foosball – you need sleep to recharge your nervous system. If you want to kick an infection, you need sleep to give your body a chance to do its work without demanding other things from it.
#10: Laugh More.
When I recommend laughter, I mean two things. First, just laugh more – because it’s fun and it’s good for your body and mind. Listen to stand-up comedy, share jokes, exchange tickles, join a laughing club, choose funny media over bitter. Do whatever it takes for you to have more belly laughs in your life.
Second, take a light-hearted attitude toward life. And death. In my opinion, there’s nothing that can’t be laughed at. I don’t mean derisive, mean-spirited laughter. I mean the laughter that comes from the recognition that life is funny, that there is humor in everything – including the seriousness in which so many of us hold everything. And I also mean delighted laughter – the laughter that arises from simply paying attention to how much beauty, magic, and profundity there is.
Which leads us to…
#11: Keep Your Heart Open.
It’s a natural but unfortunate impulse to close our hearts when life is unpleasant – like raising our arms to shield ourselves against an incoming attack. What I mean by “closing our heart” is a subtle contraction around the center of the chest that occurs on multiple levels simultaneously – physical, emotional, and energetic.
We do this as an instinctive act of self-preservation, but it becomes a habit of not feeling. Living with a closed heart is like narrowing the spectrum of reality we allow ourselves to experience. For what it’s worth, though, I don’t believe the heart only has two states – open or closed – it’s a range.
I recommend consciously living through your heart. Feel through your heart. Breathe through your heart. Listen through your heart. Keep it open even when you’re in pain, even when you’re afraid, even when you’re angry. You can do this just by intending it. Put your attention there, soften, and let it open like a flower.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Three Ways to Invite More Life into Your Life
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Winter solstice is coming. For me it always brings a mix of feelings. I don’t like the early sunsets, but I do like the cozy feeling of candles and music indoors while it’s dark and blustery outside. There’s something about the contrast that makes me appreciate the light more in the winter than the summer.
Our family’s main winter holiday is solstice, when we celebrate the light and remember our ability to kindle it in the darkest of times. I’ve written about this repeatedly over the years – finding the light, honoring the light, and even being the light.
But light and dark are two sides of the same coin, and there’s an important opening in winter to also make peace with the darkness and learn from it.
If we look out onto a wintry landscape, we see mostly dead or dormant plants and not a lot of signs of life. Much of the life that remains has retreated into underground roots or it’s hibernating in caves. Similarly, winter brings a natural inclination – and an invitation – to go inward and down to our depths.
By going “down to our depths” I don’t mean wallowing in depression. I mean willingly visiting the parts of ourselves that are kept hidden, far from the surface.
For instance, many of us want to be always energetic, bright, happy, and productive. We may suppress other facets of ourselves that seem to contrast with this ideal, though they may be equally virtuous and might also help us to be more balanced, well-rounded beings. Even if you’ve come to terms with being an introvert and you don’t want to be boisterous or outgoing, there are still likely to be aspects of yourself that you’re less acquainted with or don’t approve of.
The same goes for how we regard the world. There are parts we accept and parts we resist or even deny. For everything we’re averse to in the outside world, there’s a corresponding aspect in our inner depths that awaits reckoning.
To the degree that we haven’t accepted and integrated aspects of the whole enchilada – our inner and outer worlds – there’s an opportunity to experience life in a way that feels that much more free and complete.
When we consider a visit to our depths a feeling of fear may arise (or, especially if it’s suppressed, numbness, heaviness, or depression). In Chinese five element philosophy winter is ruled by the water element and fear is the negative emotion associated with water. Most fear stems from our survival mechanisms and winter is a time when lots of things die.
This darkness can remind us of our mortality. We might imagine it would be terrifying to let ourselves go along with the descending trajectory of the season. What will we discover about ourselves in the darkness? What if we never find our way back?
But if we approach it with willingness and curiosity – bringing our light into it – the feeling changes and the relationship changes. We’re not going kicking and screaming and resisting with everything we’ve got. We bring Love with us. We soften into it, we feel what arises, we accept what we find, and we remember that the fact that we’re able to perceive what’s in the darkness is evidence that our inner light hasn’t departed.
Our darkness is like a well, or the inky fathoms of a vast sea. We may not prefer to express everything it contains, but if we can say, “Yes, this is part of me and I accept it,” we move a step closer to complete peace. Much of what we discover we’ve relegated to the shadows is wrapped up in old beliefs and misunderstandings. And though it seems to be put away, it infringes on our freedom simply by being a place where we won’t go. By bravely dropping in we can clear up these stories – much the way a light reveals a monster in the dark to be just a pile of clothes.
Inevitably, though, the darkness isn’t just harboring the parts we fear and dislike. It also contains untapped potential. There are aspects of our depths that are just waiting to be invited to the table. Powers that would fill in our gaps.
I hope you’ll join me in meeting the darkness this year with openness, and I’d love to hear what you discover.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Making Friends with Darkness
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[post_date] => 2021-01-29 22:42:03
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When I lived in Portland I’d chuckle at announcements for an annual cycling event called The Worst Day of the Year Ride, which is held sometime around February. There’s a ride with the same name in Ann Arbor, Michigan. We’re coming up on that time of year, folks. Humorous equations have even been created to predict the worst day, such as this one, where W=weather, d=debt, D=monthly salary, T=time since Christmas, Q=time since failing our new year's resolutions, M=low motivational levels, and Na=the feeling of a need to take action.
Sorry to all those who have February birthdays and everyone who loves winter (for the record, I love all the seasons, I just don’t love long periods without sun). It’s a challenging time for many, as it’s often cold and dreary, the holidays are over, the lights have been taken down, you may have lost your resolution motivation, and of course, there’s COVID.
A few weeks ago I wrote an article called Meeting With the Spirit of Winter, which I encourage you to check out if winter is a struggle for you. This week I want to talk about some of the physical things you can do to have an easier winter.
- Reach out to friends and family.
I know it’s hard when you’re feeling melancholy or sluggish, but it’s good medicine. Get on a video chat or take a walk together. If you struggle to get it planned and then weeks or months pass before the next one, try setting it up as a weekly thing, or always schedule the next one before you say goodbye.
- Take advantage of the light.
Get outside, even if the weather sucks. On a clear day, the brightness (measured in lux) is about 10,000 lux outside. On an overcast day it’s closer to 1,000 lux. Typical home and office levels are about 250-500 lux. Grocery stores are often around 750 lux. So a cloudy day is still brighter than most indoor environments. And simply being outside and connecting with nature is also therapeutic.
Most people with low winter mood and energy notice a boost from exposure to bright light – whether by getting outside, working next to a window, or supplementing with a full spectrum light. It used to be that you could only approximate daylight with a fluorescent bulb and full spectrum light systems were somewhat expensive. Nowadays there are cheap, super-bright full spectrum LED lights available. It’s best to use these when the sun would normally be brightest, to help normalize your circadian rhythm.
- Get enough vitamin D.
Most of us produce insufficient vitamin D in the winter, even if it’s sunny. Supplementing may help boost your immune system. I typically recommend people take about 35 units per pound of body weight per day. If you’ve been tested and have low vitamin D, you might need higher doses for a while to get yourself to an optimal level. Numerous studies have shown a correlation between low vitamin D levels and more severe cases of COVID-19. If you take high dose vitamin D over time, it’s worthwhile to supplement with a little vitamin K also.
- If you live in a damp home, get it managed.
A study in the American Journal of Public Health showed a link between depression and living in a damp, moldy home. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, environmental dampness is considered to have a stagnating and congealing effect on the flow of energy through the body. This is also why many sufferers of chronic pain conditions, such as arthritis or fibromyalgia, complain that they feel stiffer and tighter in rainy weather.
When I lived in Portland, I saw patients with mold exposure all the time. I thought when we moved to Colorado I wouldn’t see it in this dry climate, but it’s prevalent here, too. Besides depression and achy joints, mold can cause a host of other health problems. If you suspect there may be mold in your living space, it’s worth testing for it and getting it remediated if it’s present. A dehumidifier may help in moist spaces.
- Keep moving.
Exercise is essential at all times of year, but especially in the winter when the combination of cold temperatures, dry air, shorter days, less nature exposure, and more resilient viruses all work against us. While I feel it’s important to tune in to the energy of the season – which is, after all, about dormancy – 20 to 30 minutes of some kind of movement each day is still a good idea.
I hope these tips and those in Meeting with the Spirit of Winter help you enjoy this season more. And remember, the days are already getting longer (by about 2½ minutes each day)!
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => How to Manage the Winter Blues
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Over the past several weeks, we’ve been looking at the factors that make for a longer, richer, more alive life.: (1) Loving life and living for the present (2) Working, stretching, and relaxing all parts of yourself (3) Dancing with consciousness (4) Reducing media consumption (5) Paying attention to your breathing (6) Eating less (7) Prioritizing community and service (8) Exchanging love and touch. You can read more about all these topics on our blog (there’s a lot more to them than the list you just read!). Today I’ll add a couple more items to the list.
#9: Optimize Your Sleep.
There are people who live long lives but don’t sleep well or much, but they tend to be outliers. Virtually everyone lives better, if not also longer, with good sleep. One of the leading causes of death has always been accidents and we’re a lot more likely to have them when we’re tired or mentally cloudy. Furthermore, when we’re well rested, we’re more likely to operate from the “evolved human” part of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) – thinking rationally and broadly. When we’re tired, we often default to the primitive “animal brain” and make decisions based on survival, pleasure-seeking, and pain-avoidance.
There’s really no substitute for adequate, replenishing sleep. If you want to learn something, you need sleep to imprint what you’re learning in a lasting way. If you want to get stronger, you need sleep to turn all that exercise and protein into muscle tissue. If you want emotional intelligence, patience, and mature communication, you need sleep in order to be non-reactive. If you want optimal performance in anything – music, chess, gymnastics, or foosball – you need sleep to recharge your nervous system. If you want to kick an infection, you need sleep to give your body a chance to do its work without demanding other things from it.
#10: Laugh More.
When I recommend laughter, I mean two things. First, just laugh more – because it’s fun and it’s good for your body and mind. Listen to stand-up comedy, share jokes, exchange tickles, join a laughing club, choose funny media over bitter. Do whatever it takes for you to have more belly laughs in your life.
Second, take a light-hearted attitude toward life. And death. In my opinion, there’s nothing that can’t be laughed at. I don’t mean derisive, mean-spirited laughter. I mean the laughter that comes from the recognition that life is funny, that there is humor in everything – including the seriousness in which so many of us hold everything. And I also mean delighted laughter – the laughter that arises from simply paying attention to how much beauty, magic, and profundity there is.
Which leads us to…
#11: Keep Your Heart Open.
It’s a natural but unfortunate impulse to close our hearts when life is unpleasant – like raising our arms to shield ourselves against an incoming attack. What I mean by “closing our heart” is a subtle contraction around the center of the chest that occurs on multiple levels simultaneously – physical, emotional, and energetic.
We do this as an instinctive act of self-preservation, but it becomes a habit of not feeling. Living with a closed heart is like narrowing the spectrum of reality we allow ourselves to experience. For what it’s worth, though, I don’t believe the heart only has two states – open or closed – it’s a range.
I recommend consciously living through your heart. Feel through your heart. Breathe through your heart. Listen through your heart. Keep it open even when you’re in pain, even when you’re afraid, even when you’re angry. You can do this just by intending it. Put your attention there, soften, and let it open like a flower.
Be well,
Peter
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