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[post_content] =>
Happy New Year, Dragons! If you’re anything like me, you’ve been reflecting on the past while opening your heart to the coming new year.
This week, I've been thinking a lot about when I was 19, on my first big adventure abroad, I visited a little town in Slovenia with my boyfriend. I was halfway across the world, but I had taken all my “stuff” with me. I don’t remember what exactly incited this particular unravelling into self-loathing and angst (yes, I was angsty!), but my boyfriend wasn’t going to humor me. He could see how uncomfortable I was in my own skin and how disconnected I felt. I remember him finally saying, “Just look in the mirror and tell you that you love yourself.”
It felt so impossible. And when I finally did it, I was bawling because I knew I was lying to myself.
At that time in my life, I was in reaction-mode so much of the time, blaming other people for how I felt. I was pushing away the emotional pain of really looking at myself, and I’d make my hurt about other people. My relationships were strained and I thought my value was tied to being “right”.
If I was wrong, I wouldn't be worth loving.
My relationship with myself has totally shifted. I can’t exactly tell you the moment it changed for me because it’s been a long process, but I’m so glad I made that journey.
And it has been a journey, finding my way toward real self-love.
I noticed the difference recently when I was in a dance class and I saw myself in the mirror. My immediate response to my reflection was “I love you, I really love you.” It felt like that squishy way you feel when you see your best friend or your partner and realize how much you like them all over again. What a difference from that night in that little town in Slovenia where the idea of looking at myself and truly loving myself was beyond my capacity to imagine.
Now I don’t set conditions for loving myself or base it on the amount of approval I’m receiving. Now I can be right or wrong, fat or skinny, successful or unsuccessful and no matter what; I love myself. If there isn’t that freedom to love yourself no matter what, then it’s not really love. I can now say to myself- “You can make the biggest mistakes in the world and I’ll still love you. You are mine, and in that, I want to honor you and how you feel and what you need.” My desire to create now is not coming from a search for approval or recognition. It comes from my love for creating, designing, and dreaming. It comes from my desire to extend that love out into the world.
If you can’t look yourself in the mirror and extend your love to that person you see, it’s worth the effort to figure out how to fall in love with yourself. It may not be an easy road (it wasn’t for me), but it’s worth it. You deserve your love.
In my opinion, the most fundamental truth is this….
You are love, you are loved, you are loving.
With love,
Briana
PS – Starting January 11th I’m hosting a group energy work program called Love Rising that is all about helping you access your own truth and clearing the blocks in the way of finding our own loving self. I hope you'll join us. <3
[post_title] => Note To Self: I Love You.
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[post_content] => Technology has given me the gift of being able to dig a hole in my garden for my onion plant and hear these words from Eckart Tolle in my earbuds at the same time:
“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”
Damn. Audible. You know my jam - you’ve captured my heart.
That’s why when we found out last week that
The Well Life is now available on Audible, Peter and I were jumping for joy (okay - I was jumping, Peter was delightedly smiling - maybe about Audible? Maybe about my ridiculous antics?)
If you haven’t read The Well Life yet (or even if you have and you want a refresher) go get it now and you’ll get to listen to how sweetness, structure and space can help you create more balance, happiness, and peace in your life.
We’re addicted to Audible. For real.
In the bath. Audible.
Driving home from dropping the kids off at school. Audible.
Letting the alpacas out of the barn. Audible.
Here are some of the books we’re listened to lately (and loved - cause let’s be honest just because it’s an audiobook doesn’t make it a GOOD book, unless it just is):
Briana’s top three recent audible adventures:
A New Earth by Eckart Tolle
Becoming by Michelle Obama
Coddling of the American Mind by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt
Books Peter’s loved lately:
Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
Resilient by Forrest Rick Hanson
Falling into Grace by Adyashanti (also one of Briana’s favorite books)
Wild Mind by Bill Plotkin
Fourth Uncle in the Mountain: The Remarkable Legacy of a Buddhist Itinerant Doctor in Vietnam by Marjorie Pivar and Quang Van Nguyen
I hope you enjoy some summer listening!
We’d love to hear what books you’ve loved recently!
Love,
Briana
Check out The Well Life on Audible!
[post_title] => Whistling While You Work is So 10 Years Ago
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[post_date] => 2018-01-09 20:47:32
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My friend called me this morning begging to be rescued from herself. She said “I knew I had a ton of things to catch up on today and projects I want to work on that will move me towards my goals, yet I stayed up late last night, slept in, walked in multiple circles trying to figure out where to start, then after feeling overwhelmed and discouraged I turned on Netflix and binge watched 2 seasons of Friends. What is wrong with me? I am wasting my youth and my life, I’m never going to amount to anything! Why do I do this?”
Her shame and self-blame were on a downward spiral fast and she needed someone to snap her out of it.
Self-sabotage happens when part of our ego wants to stop us from going beyond our ego constructs. Our egos are strong, they’re here to try to keep us safe, which usually means keeping us small, in this little container where we protect ourselves. Within these boundaries, we limit ourselves because we’re only willing to experience what’s familiar. So we procrastinate, we create obstacles, we stir up drama to get in our own way.
Then something arises within us, a desire to connect, to expand, deepen. As that happens our ego comes in and tries to obscure it because it doesn’t feel safe, it’s the great unknown for the ego because it isn’t where the ego lives, that’s when self-sabotage rears it’s ugly head.
First become aware of where you’re self-sabotaging and bring a huge amount of curiosity to the underlying reasons and impulses causing it. Many people haven’t been introduced to this practice of deep inquiry, so they only scan the surface layers of it. Even if they notice that they are self-sabotaging they may only recognize it’s not serving them but don’t examine the deeper “why was I doing that, where did it come from, isn’t that interesting?” Where else in your life do you have this experience? Where do you feel that in your body? What does it look like when you sabotage yourself? How does it feel when are you doing it? When does it come up? When does it not come up? How has it felt when you didn’t do it?
What advice did I give to my friend? “Love yourself anyway. There’s no benefit to feeling bad about it, but be honest about what is really going on. Dig into why are you not doing what you say you want to do. Do you actually not want to do those things? What do you really want to be devoted to? What action can you take towards that today, right now?”
Keep asking the whys, hows, and whats so you can start shining a light on this ego structure that is trying to keep you in your small self. The keys to ending the cycles of self-sabotage are meditation and being curious about your feelings. Curiosity without judgment is crucial. If you’re judging while being curious you’re not really being curious, you’re examining the right and wrong of something versus opening up to deeper understanding. Honor that voice arising from within you that is leading you to heal old destructive patterns by listening.
Really slow down and listen… listen… listen… listen...listen.
If you're having a hard time uncovering the whys or being able to hear that loving voice inside you, I'd love to help. Join our Love Rising community as we gather in a group to get in touch with our true selves, in touch with our essence. As a group, we’ll amplify this connection and get clear on the next step forward, along the way resolving obstacles and challenges blocking our ability to receive. To trust.
With so much love for you,
Briana
PS - The next
Love Rising Collective begins January 11th. Don't wait, or you'll miss it.
[post_title] => Letting Go of Self Sabotage
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Happy New Year, Dragons! If you’re anything like me, you’ve been reflecting on the past while opening your heart to the coming new year.
This week, I've been thinking a lot about when I was 19, on my first big adventure abroad, I visited a little town in Slovenia with my boyfriend. I was halfway across the world, but I had taken all my “stuff” with me. I don’t remember what exactly incited this particular unravelling into self-loathing and angst (yes, I was angsty!), but my boyfriend wasn’t going to humor me. He could see how uncomfortable I was in my own skin and how disconnected I felt. I remember him finally saying, “Just look in the mirror and tell you that you love yourself.”
It felt so impossible. And when I finally did it, I was bawling because I knew I was lying to myself.
At that time in my life, I was in reaction-mode so much of the time, blaming other people for how I felt. I was pushing away the emotional pain of really looking at myself, and I’d make my hurt about other people. My relationships were strained and I thought my value was tied to being “right”.
If I was wrong, I wouldn't be worth loving.
My relationship with myself has totally shifted. I can’t exactly tell you the moment it changed for me because it’s been a long process, but I’m so glad I made that journey.
And it has been a journey, finding my way toward real self-love.
I noticed the difference recently when I was in a dance class and I saw myself in the mirror. My immediate response to my reflection was “I love you, I really love you.” It felt like that squishy way you feel when you see your best friend or your partner and realize how much you like them all over again. What a difference from that night in that little town in Slovenia where the idea of looking at myself and truly loving myself was beyond my capacity to imagine.
Now I don’t set conditions for loving myself or base it on the amount of approval I’m receiving. Now I can be right or wrong, fat or skinny, successful or unsuccessful and no matter what; I love myself. If there isn’t that freedom to love yourself no matter what, then it’s not really love. I can now say to myself- “You can make the biggest mistakes in the world and I’ll still love you. You are mine, and in that, I want to honor you and how you feel and what you need.” My desire to create now is not coming from a search for approval or recognition. It comes from my love for creating, designing, and dreaming. It comes from my desire to extend that love out into the world.
If you can’t look yourself in the mirror and extend your love to that person you see, it’s worth the effort to figure out how to fall in love with yourself. It may not be an easy road (it wasn’t for me), but it’s worth it. You deserve your love.
In my opinion, the most fundamental truth is this….
You are love, you are loved, you are loving.
With love,
Briana
PS – Starting January 11th I’m hosting a group energy work program called Love Rising that is all about helping you access your own truth and clearing the blocks in the way of finding our own loving self. I hope you'll join us. <3
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