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[post_date] => 2018-01-09 20:47:32
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[post_content] =>
My friend called me this morning begging to be rescued from herself. She said “I knew I had a ton of things to catch up on today and projects I want to work on that will move me towards my goals, yet I stayed up late last night, slept in, walked in multiple circles trying to figure out where to start, then after feeling overwhelmed and discouraged I turned on Netflix and binge watched 2 seasons of Friends. What is wrong with me? I am wasting my youth and my life, I’m never going to amount to anything! Why do I do this?”
Her shame and self-blame were on a downward spiral fast and she needed someone to snap her out of it.
Self-sabotage happens when part of our ego wants to stop us from going beyond our ego constructs. Our egos are strong, they’re here to try to keep us safe, which usually means keeping us small, in this little container where we protect ourselves. Within these boundaries, we limit ourselves because we’re only willing to experience what’s familiar. So we procrastinate, we create obstacles, we stir up drama to get in our own way.
Then something arises within us, a desire to connect, to expand, deepen. As that happens our ego comes in and tries to obscure it because it doesn’t feel safe, it’s the great unknown for the ego because it isn’t where the ego lives, that’s when self-sabotage rears it’s ugly head.
First become aware of where you’re self-sabotaging and bring a huge amount of curiosity to the underlying reasons and impulses causing it. Many people haven’t been introduced to this practice of deep inquiry, so they only scan the surface layers of it. Even if they notice that they are self-sabotaging they may only recognize it’s not serving them but don’t examine the deeper “why was I doing that, where did it come from, isn’t that interesting?” Where else in your life do you have this experience? Where do you feel that in your body? What does it look like when you sabotage yourself? How does it feel when are you doing it? When does it come up? When does it not come up? How has it felt when you didn’t do it?
What advice did I give to my friend? “Love yourself anyway. There’s no benefit to feeling bad about it, but be honest about what is really going on. Dig into why are you not doing what you say you want to do. Do you actually not want to do those things? What do you really want to be devoted to? What action can you take towards that today, right now?”
Keep asking the whys, hows, and whats so you can start shining a light on this ego structure that is trying to keep you in your small self. The keys to ending the cycles of self-sabotage are meditation and being curious about your feelings. Curiosity without judgment is crucial. If you’re judging while being curious you’re not really being curious, you’re examining the right and wrong of something versus opening up to deeper understanding. Honor that voice arising from within you that is leading you to heal old destructive patterns by listening.
Really slow down and listen… listen… listen… listen...listen.
If you're having a hard time uncovering the whys or being able to hear that loving voice inside you, I'd love to help. Join our Love Rising community as we gather in a group to get in touch with our true selves, in touch with our essence. As a group, we’ll amplify this connection and get clear on the next step forward, along the way resolving obstacles and challenges blocking our ability to receive. To trust.
With so much love for you,
Briana
PS - The next
Love Rising Collective begins January 11th. Don't wait, or you'll miss it.
[post_title] => Letting Go of Self Sabotage
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Today is Giving Tuesday, a global day to come together to support the causes and organizations we care about.
The Dragontree values it's clients and the community that supports us all, and we believe that global change starts with community contribution.
Personally, we believe there's merit in anonymous charity - that way you know you're not doing it for status or recognition, and there's no bond of debt between the giver and the receiver. However, we've decided it's worthwhile to explain how we give as an organization so that our clients can see where some of their money goes, and more importantly, so that we can vocally advocate for GIVING and hopefully inspire you to do the same
.
We believe that each individual, every being, and the earth itself deserves love and care and we've dedicated ourselves and our business to that end.
We start by shopping locally: Whenever possible we utilize local businesses and locally-made products. This minimizes the resources and environmental impact of shipping and maximizes the amount of money that feeds our own community.
We reduce, reuse, and recycle: Used oil from shirodhara and other oil-based treatments we provide is donated to our local bio-diesel company, so they can turn the oil into useable fuel. We are continually looking for ways to reduce resource and energy consumption. We procure supplies with minimal packaging and maximum post-consumer content. And we reuse and recycle and compost as much as possible.
We donate: Every year we give away thousands of dollars in spa services and our Apothecary products to support nonprofits and charities. We also gather donation items, volunteer our time, and participate with the communities of these nonprofit organizations to help them find relaxation and peace so they can continue to do their incredible work. Our company partners with charities that are doing good in our communities such as Friendly House and Emergency Family Assistance. We volunteer our time to help them succeed in their work, and we support our employees as they do the same with the causes that they value.
We raise funds for meaningful causes: This year we donated all of the profits from the launch the Dragontree Life Coaching Program to The Well Life Foundation. The Well Life Foundation is a nonprofit organization we founded to help low-income women break the poverty cycle by providing the means to build fulfilling and sustainable careers in life coaching; and to fund community-based projects that help women in difficult transitions when and where they need it most.
On this Giving Tuesday, we encourage you to take 3 actions to support the causes you care about.
You might:
♡ Donate money or items
♡ Share the cause or organization on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter
♡ Share the story of why you care
♡ Volunteer your time
♡ Encourage others to give or volunteer
♡ Anything else that supports your organization or cause
What will you give today?
Love,
Peter and Briana and Everyone at The Dragontree
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[post_date] => 2019-12-03 17:41:59
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It’s not hard to get into the routine of buying lots of stuff for your loved ones during the holidays. We want them to be happy, they seem to want stuff, and stuff is on sale. But when we’re breaking the bank to do it, when we feel compelled to go over the top or to outdo ourselves, and especially when the result is likely to be something big in the landfill in a year or two, maybe it’s worth reassessing our motives and options.
One of my favorite days as a kid – and my model for healthy gift-giving – was St. Nicholas Day. Each region celebrates this holiday in their own way. In several European countries, kids leave their shoes outside or in front of the chimney and receive small gifts in them from St. Nicholas. Sometimes they use a boot to collect the presents, or St. Nicholas sticks a treat under their pillow. In other parts, people dress as St. Nicholas and leave a bag of goodies outside neighbors’ doors. Dutch children will put out a clog with hay and a carrot for St. Nicholas’s horse.
As you can tell, elements of several of these traditions – the chimney, the shoe (which became a stocking), the gift giving, and even the name Saint Nicholas (Sinterklaas in Dutch, which became Santa Claus) – all got rolled together with Jesus’s birthday, Winter Solstice, and many aspects of the Pagan festival of Yule to form Christmas. But in our family, we keep St. Nicholas Day separate – it occurs on December 6th – and this makes it easier to preserve its specialness.
In all cases, St. Nick leaves something modest – it needs to fit in a bag, in a shoe, in a boot, or under a pillow. Because of this limitation, there’s a lot more room for magic and sweetness. When I was young, the bag of goodies typically consisted of some oranges, nuts, a pineapple, a little candy, and perhaps some tree ornaments. This is what we put into the bags we make for our friends today.
We put these bags together as a family, and even though nuts and fruit are a regular part of our diets, the kids handle it as if it’s something really special because they know it’s going to be a gift. The best part is walking or driving to recipients’ houses, putting the bag on their porch, knocking on the door and running away (so it’s a mystery!). Our kids get absolutely giddy with the excitement of it (to be honest - so do we!!) When we return home, St. Nick has visited our house too (wink, wink)!
Because the emphasis isn’t on size or monetary value, the essence of what we’re doing is a lot easier to see. There’s a surprise element – an unexpected and anonymous gift – which is fun. There’s an unspoken communication – we love you and you matter to us. You add sweetness to our lives, and here’s a little sweetness back. And even if they don’t figure out it was from us, we know it was given in the most unconditional way.
What’s your gift-giving tradition like? How do you keep the emphasis on the non-material aspects of the holidays? Share your ideas with us in the comments section below.
Love,
Briana
[post_title] => Making Room for Magic in our Giving
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My friend called me this morning begging to be rescued from herself. She said “I knew I had a ton of things to catch up on today and projects I want to work on that will move me towards my goals, yet I stayed up late last night, slept in, walked in multiple circles trying to figure out where to start, then after feeling overwhelmed and discouraged I turned on Netflix and binge watched 2 seasons of Friends. What is wrong with me? I am wasting my youth and my life, I’m never going to amount to anything! Why do I do this?”
Her shame and self-blame were on a downward spiral fast and she needed someone to snap her out of it.
Self-sabotage happens when part of our ego wants to stop us from going beyond our ego constructs. Our egos are strong, they’re here to try to keep us safe, which usually means keeping us small, in this little container where we protect ourselves. Within these boundaries, we limit ourselves because we’re only willing to experience what’s familiar. So we procrastinate, we create obstacles, we stir up drama to get in our own way.
Then something arises within us, a desire to connect, to expand, deepen. As that happens our ego comes in and tries to obscure it because it doesn’t feel safe, it’s the great unknown for the ego because it isn’t where the ego lives, that’s when self-sabotage rears it’s ugly head.
First become aware of where you’re self-sabotaging and bring a huge amount of curiosity to the underlying reasons and impulses causing it. Many people haven’t been introduced to this practice of deep inquiry, so they only scan the surface layers of it. Even if they notice that they are self-sabotaging they may only recognize it’s not serving them but don’t examine the deeper “why was I doing that, where did it come from, isn’t that interesting?” Where else in your life do you have this experience? Where do you feel that in your body? What does it look like when you sabotage yourself? How does it feel when are you doing it? When does it come up? When does it not come up? How has it felt when you didn’t do it?
What advice did I give to my friend? “Love yourself anyway. There’s no benefit to feeling bad about it, but be honest about what is really going on. Dig into why are you not doing what you say you want to do. Do you actually not want to do those things? What do you really want to be devoted to? What action can you take towards that today, right now?”
Keep asking the whys, hows, and whats so you can start shining a light on this ego structure that is trying to keep you in your small self. The keys to ending the cycles of self-sabotage are meditation and being curious about your feelings. Curiosity without judgment is crucial. If you’re judging while being curious you’re not really being curious, you’re examining the right and wrong of something versus opening up to deeper understanding. Honor that voice arising from within you that is leading you to heal old destructive patterns by listening.
Really slow down and listen… listen… listen… listen...listen.
If you're having a hard time uncovering the whys or being able to hear that loving voice inside you, I'd love to help. Join our Love Rising community as we gather in a group to get in touch with our true selves, in touch with our essence. As a group, we’ll amplify this connection and get clear on the next step forward, along the way resolving obstacles and challenges blocking our ability to receive. To trust.
With so much love for you,
Briana
PS - The next
Love Rising Collective begins January 11th. Don't wait, or you'll miss it.
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