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All Time is Your Time

More than ever before, the people in my life describe themselves as constantly busy – even overwhelmed. This is especially true of those with kids, and I think it’s one… Read More

Mothered by the Universe

Being the parent of an adolescent is a fascinating thing. I get to watch someone begin to consciously shape her identity, and I’m often reminded of how that process went… Read More

There Isn’t Really a Hole Inside You: The Earth Element and Your Inner Mother

In last week’s article on the origins of Mother’s Day, I mentioned connecting with the earth as a means of feeling supported in a motherly way. This week I’ll explain… Read More

How to Receive Mothering While Freeing Your Mother

While some cultures have longstanding traditions to celebrate their mothers, ours didn’t begin until about 1911 when all the states adopted Mother’s Day. It was the culmination of a campaign… Read More

It was 1985, and just in time for puberty I got some good lessons on the power of Love. I learned that you don’t need money, that it don’t take fame, and furthermore, that you don’t need no credit card to ride this train. However, like pretty much everyone else, I still got stuck on the idea that Love is (1) what you’re obligated to feel for your family members, or (2) the fortuitous result of circumstances being just right.

Given that it’s pretty much the best feeling in the world and one of the prime motivators of human behavior, it’s unfortunate that we often tend to think of Love as an elusive thing. Something to be chased and held onto tightly, something that can be taken away. And, sadly, certainly not something we can experience at will.

Being immersed in a world in which the idea of looking for Love is so prevalent, it’s been hard to break myself of the habit of thinking this way. But I no longer believe it’s true.

About 15 years ago, I was at a meditation retreat, and every once in a while the facilitator would ask a question. No verbal response was required . . . the question was just meant to sink into the consciousness of the participants. One of the questions was, “What is your greatest power?” Whereas most of the questions spurred a stream of thoughts, and sometimes the hope that I had come up with the “right” answer, this one hit me differently. My mind didn’t have a chance because my heart answered immediately. It said, “Love.” And I had a sense that this wasn’t just my greatest power, it was our greatest power.

Maybe you’re thinking, “Why should I care about the realization that you say came out of your heart at some woo-woo meditation retreat? Speak for yourself – my greatest power is that I can shoot fire out of my eyes.” Yeah, yeah. I know what comes out of my heart isn’t as credible as a double blind study in a peer reviewed journal. And if you thought that was woo-woo, let me give you a little perspective. Part of my training in Chinese Medicine was to learn qigong – the art of perceiving, manipulating, and cultivating life energy (Qi). After years of playing with Qi, you don’t question it when your heart talks to you.

Anyway, I’m not asking you to take my word for it, but please hear me out. In the years since then, I’ve kept listening to my heart and I’ve learned a little about Love. I still have a ways to go in terms of living in accordance with what I’ve learned, but I know enough to point others in the right direction. So, here it is.

First, we think of Love way too much as a noun. And Huey Lewis, bless his heart, didn’t help break of this habit. We like to treat Love as a thing. To be deserved, to be earned, to be won, and to be lost.

Love can be a noun – in that it’s a quality of being – but in my experience, it has nothing to do with deserving or winning. Love just IS. Love is our native state. It’s who we are. We can pile on so many beliefs and affectations that we lose sight of it, but we can’t change this most fundamental fact. Our minds may get confused and put conditions upon Love. But Love is always there, within us, able to be accessed at any moment, even when it seems utterly far away.

Now for the verb form of Love. This is where our power comes in. To Love is what we were born to do. Love is an expansion. Love never excludes. And the more we embrace this notion, the richer our life becomes.

The function of a confused mind is to separate everything. When you have the honor of spending time with children you notice how they (especially the tiny ones) haven’t learned to separate everything into countless discrete entities. And when you really see this in them, it’s awesome. Not just because it’s so beautifully uncontrived, but because you know you used to be that way.

But we teach them to separate, with names and labels, and we place such importance on it that Love is a natural casualty of the process. With a million separate words and ideas, and billions of separate people, it’s understandable that we’d think that Love, too, is separate from us.

Maybe you use the word God for what I am calling Love, but I think we’re talking about the same thing, and the same sense of separation between God and themselves exists in the minds of most people who use the word God. When we believe that God, or Love, or whatever word you like, is something separate from us, it becomes a conditional thing in our lives. And we invent the conditions that preside over that relationship.

But, not only is Love not separate from us, Love itself is the mender of separation. Love fills in the gaps that create separation. Like a warm ocean waiting on the other side of the door, the moment we open the places we’ve restricted, Love rushes in, saturating all the parts of ourselves and the world that we haven’t accepted, and in so doing, unites what we tried to separate.

So, I urge you to Love as a verb. When we take deserving out of the equation, we’re suddenly surrounded by an infinite array of Love-worthy people, plants, animals, and stars. And also Love-worthy dirt, garbage, and smog, by the way.

Try silently saying “I Love you” to the person bagging your groceries, to the person who just cut you off and made you miss your exit, to the person on the tech support line who tells you, “I’m going to have you turn off your phone and then turn it back on. Maybe that will fix it.”

But don’t forget about the person whose body you’re renting. That character has been doing so much misguided stuff to get more Love, and all along you had the power to unleash it upon yourself. Go for it.

Love,

Dr. Peter Borten

[post_title] => Love, the Verb [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => closed [post_password] => [post_name] => love-verb [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2019-05-26 02:21:55 [post_modified_gmt] => 2019-05-26 02:21:55 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://www.thedragontree.com/?p=4698 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 3 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [1] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4884 [post_author] => 2 [post_date] => 2013-06-12 18:27:18 [post_date_gmt] => 2013-06-12 18:27:18 [post_content] => A mission statement is by definition: a statement of the purpose of a company, organization or person, and its reason for existing. A mission statement should guide the actions of the organization, spell out its overall goal, provide a path, and guide decision-making. It provides “the framework or context within which the company’s strategies are formulated.” It’s like a goal for what the company wants to do for the world. This last sentence is what truly resonates with me on what a mission statement should be. For the next few months, I’ve decided to dedicate my blog to the breakdown of the Dragontree Mission statement and our core values and what they mean to us. Let’s start with our first line….”At the Dragontree, we are committed to peace.” The word peace comes from the Latin meaning “freedom from civil disorder”. Taking it out of the concept of government perhaps a better definition is “freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions and the existence of healthy interpersonal relationships.” This type of freedom from disquieting thoughts and emotions is a key element for us as human beings to be healthy physically and emotionally. Perhaps this is why the first line of our mission statement has to do with the concept of peace. We as caregivers strive to create a peaceful existence for ourselves, which helps us provide treatments and service to our clients, creating space for peace in their lives. At a personal level, peaceful behaviors are kind, considerate, respectful, just, and tolerant of others’ beliefs and behaviors — all of this tending to manifest goodwill. -Robert G. (The Dragontree NW Spa Director) [post_title] => The Dragontree Mission Statement (Part 1) [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => hello-world-3 [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2019-05-26 02:08:44 [post_modified_gmt] => 2019-05-26 02:08:44 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://www.thedragontree.com/?p=1 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 7321 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2019-04-11 16:27:39 [post_date_gmt] => 2019-04-11 16:27:39 [post_content] => In the past two weeks, I wrote about what I consider to be the basic principles of a cleanse. This week I’ll discuss a few additional practices that can further promote clean spaciousness of the body and mind. We usually focus on the digestive tract, but there are several organ systems involved in the processing and removal of toxins. Besides the intestines, the liver, kidneys, lymphatic vessels, skin, and lungs all play important roles. You can support these systems to make a cleanse more thorough or to promote detoxification even when you’re eating your normal diet. The liver and kidneys are the powerhouses of detox. While the liver actually has around 500 functions, the most well-known is breaking down toxins and things that could become harmful to us if they were to build up – like hormones, drugs, and metabolic waste products. Nutrients and toxins from the digestive tract go directly to the liver (via the portal vein). Our kidneys are a bit simpler, acting primarily as filters that clean our blood, removing toxins and hormones, and balancing fluid and salt levels. There’s a lot of hype around liver and kidney cleanses, and in some cases a fundamental misunderstanding as to how these systems work. Generally speaking, the liver and kidneys themselves don’t need to be “cleaned out.” They don’t become “dirty” when we’re exposed to environmental toxins, though it is possible for them to become injured by such exposure. In these cases, blood tests will sometimes show elevated levels of liver enzymes or creatinine, which indicate impairment of the liver or kidneys, respectively. But most people who do a cleanse don’t have any testing done, nor would testing likely show anything abnormal. Therefore, it’s best to proceed with an aim of protecting and supporting – rather than “cleaning” – these organs. The best way to protect the liver and kidneys is to avoid exposure to toxic chemicals in the first place. Some of the most common liver¹ and kidney² toxins include pesticides, cleaners, air fresheners, paints and solvents, heavy metals, pharmaceuticals, certain herbs and essential oils³, and alcoholic beverages. It’s important to state that (1) not all of these substances are intrinsically toxic, and (2) many of these substances can be readily metabolized by the liver and/or kidneys with zero harm. They become toxic – i.e., damaging – to these organs when our exposure level exceeds the capacity of the organs, and that’s a factor of the health of the individual and the sum total of all such substances a person is exposed to. Thus, a single dose of acetaminophen in an individual with a healthy liver is completely safe. But the maximum daily dose, taken over a course of weeks, and combined with alcohol or other environmental toxins could be a recipe for liver failure. Keep toxins moving through your body by staying well hydrated (this is especially important for healthy kidneys) and exercising regularly. Consider supplementing with herbs that have an established tradition (ideally supported by scientific research) of protecting and supporting healthy liver and kidney function, if you know you’re going to be exposed to toxins. According to Portland-based naturopathic physician, Tori Hudson, ND, the five most important liver-protecting herbs are: milk thistle, turmeric, licorice, schizandra, and Chinese skullcap (Scutellaria baicalensis). All of these are very safe herbs, though it’s worth reading her article for information on potential interactions. Also, licorice can cause a small increase in blood pressure, which goes away when it’s discontinued. Of these five, milk thistle is the most remarkable, as it has been shown to restore function in damaged livers. For kidney support, again, hydration is crucial. Also, diets that are very high in protein can be taxing to the kidneys, so it’s probably advisable to be moderate with protein consumption especially when you’re dehydrated, doing a cleanse, or managing exposure to toxic substances. The mushroom Ganoderma lucidum, AKA Reishi or Ling Zhi, has been shown to help protect the kidneys from chemical damage. Also, tea of stinging nettle (it doesn’t sting after it’s been dried or cooked) is nourishing and supportive to the kidneys. ~ The lymphatic vessels run throughout the body and carry immune cells, help maintain fluid balance, and facilitate the removal of debris, such as damaged cells, germs, and the waste products of injury and infection. These vessels move fluid from the extremities and trunk toward the heart, though they have no central pump the way the heart pumps blood. Therefore, lymph flow can sometimes become sluggish, especially after injury, during an infection, when lymph nodes are swollen, and when lymphatic tissue has been damaged by surgery. When sluggish lymph causes an area of the body to swell, it’s called lymphedema, and infections on limbs with lymphedema can be slow to heal. Before I get into what you can do to support your lymphatic system, let’s discuss the roles of the skin and lungs, since there’s a lot of overlap. In comparison to the kidneys and liver, these three aren’t major detoxifiers, but their roles aren’t insignificant, so they’re worth enlisting in the cause of internal cleanness. The lungs keep us clean primarily by bringing in fresh oxygen and releasing the waste product carbon dioxide, though they are also capable of expelling certain other toxins through exhalation. The one you know best is alcohol – this is how we can use a breathalyzer (or our nose) to determine how intoxicated a person is – but the lungs also release other volatile organic compounds (VOCs).⁴ The skin is sometimes spoken of as the “third lung” since it “breathes” through its pores. With more and more drugs being delivered through the skin as a cream or patch, it’s indisputable that the skin is highly permeable. A wide range of substances can pass into the body through it. Likewise, our sweat is able to carry toxins out of the body through the skin. Studies have shown that heavy metals and the plastic additive bisphenol-A (BPA) are present in sweat. While the quantity of toxins in sweat and exhaled air is very low, these processes are occurring throughout the day, so some researchers have proposed that over time they actually constitute a significant mechanism for detoxification. Overall, I believe that the fad of “detox through the skin” has been over-hyped, but I have known many people (myself included) who simply feel good from doing these practices. And, in any case, we might as well optimize skin, lung, and lymphatic function, regardless of the actual impact on internal toxins. Practicing self massage with light strokes, moving from the extremities toward the heart, can help move stagnant lymph. It can also be performed with a dry skin brush: using small circular motions or long strokes, always directed toward the heart, work your way from the ends of your extremities to your trunk, and then from the belly and back toward the heart. Dry skin brushing is exfoliating and invigorating to the circulation, which may help with detoxification through the skin. We can facilitate sweating through exercise and use of sauna. Exercise, as you know, has many health benefits beyond whatever detoxification value sweating may offer. However, if you’re depleted or weak, such that vigorous exercise makes you feel exhausted or worsens your condition, the use of a sauna can be preferable. With a sauna, I believe it’s best not to strive for an intense, profuse sweat, but rather, a mild glistening sweat for a longer period of time (say, half an hour). Always remember to re-hydrate. Bathing seems to offer modest support for detoxification through the skin. Some bath additives that are used for this purpose include Epsom salts (magnesium sulfate), apple cider vinegar, and clay. It’s questionable just how deep the cleansing through these agents might be, or what exactly the mechanism is, but if nothing else, baths clean the skin and might therefore facilitate better clearance through sweating. Also, the heat helps open our blood vessels, and baths are just plain relaxing – and metabolism and elimination work better when we’re relaxed. To support lymph movement, be sure to avoid clothing that’s overly tight (unless you need compression stockings) – especially around the underarm and groin areas. Sleep always in loose fitting pajamas. In addition, shaking the body – as in Qigong Shaking, using a trampoline, or standing on a vibration plate – appears to facilitate lymphatic circulation. Breathing deeply as a regular practice is supportive to the lungs. We can train ourselves to inhale more deeply and to exhale more fully. Try making the exhale as long as possible, and then, when you feel there’s nothing more to exhale, push out a little bit more, and a little bit more, until your lungs are absolutely empty. If you feel your breathing is weak, you can buy a cheap spirometer which will let you see clearly the strength and duration of your breaths. Using it over time, you’ll see and feel a difference. Also, there are many specific breathing practices that are meant to cleanse and oxygenate the body, such as Rebirthing or Conscious Breathing, and pranayama exercises such as “breath of fire” and Kapalabhati. Finally, forgiveness, as I see it, is the most valuable psychological instrument for cleansing. I’m talking both about everyday forgiveness and radical forgiveness. By everyday forgiveness, I mean forgiving and releasing the various grievances you have with others and yourself that are relatively easy to perceive. For example, this means forgiving others for: not letting you in when you wanted to change lanes in your car; saying something unkind to you; showing up late; sleeping with the milkman/milkwoman; etc. And it means forgiving yourself when you have a pimple; when you botch a presentation; because you’re overweight; when you accidentally slap your boss three times in a row; when you yell at your kids; and really, even when you do something that’s severely hurtful to yourself or others. By radical forgiveness, I mean large-scale forgiveness of the world and life for not always being the way you’d prefer them to be. Forgiving the world for the presence of violence and greed; forgiving humans for damaging the environment; forgiving God or the Universe for allowing you to suffer; and so on. When we harbor these grievances instead of accepting, forgiving, and releasing them, it’s like holding onto toxins. I believe that the impact of all of our hundreds and thousands of mini- and mega-grievances often amounts to a “toxic burden” that more significantly degrades our lives than any physical toxins do. As usual, I love to hear about your personal experiences. Please share below. Be well, Dr. Peter Borten [1] The National Institutes of Health’s LiverTox site allows you to search for drugs and herbs for data on potential liver toxicity. [2] The most common causes of serious kidney damage, it should be noted, are not environmental toxins, but dehydration, high blood sugar (diabetes) and high blood pressure. [3] There are a small number of herbs and essential oils containing compounds that are toxic to the liver or kidneys. There have also been some cases of poisoning from herbal supplements in which the toxicity was due to a chemical adulterant rather than the herb itself. On the one hand, these relative outliers are sometimes used to make sweeping claims against the safety of natural medicine. On the other hand, it’s naïve to assume that herbs and essential oils are universally safe. Caution is important with essential oils (see this study) and especially whenever ingesting any essential oil. That said, there are also herbs and essential oils which have been shown to protect the liver or kidneys from damage. [4] See Human Breath Emissions of VOCs and Exhaled Breath Analysis: from Occupational to Respiratory Medicine [post_title] => More Ways to Make a Clean Space Within Yourself [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => more-ways-to-make-a-clean-space-within-yourself [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2019-05-28 19:50:30 [post_modified_gmt] => 2019-05-28 19:50:30 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://thedragontree.com/?p=7321 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 8 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) ) [post_count] => 3 [current_post] => -1 [in_the_loop] => [post] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 4698 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2015-02-03 09:39:07 [post_date_gmt] => 2015-02-03 17:39:07 [post_content] =>

Being immersed in a world in which the idea of looking for Love is so prevalent, it’s been hard to break myself of the habit of thinking this way. But I no longer believe it’s true.

Love,

Dr. Peter Borten

You may also be interested in:

Love, the Verb

The Dragontree Mission Statement (Part 1)

More Ways to Make a Clean Space Within Yourself

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