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Recently I wrote about the Fire Element, which governs the summer season, and how as a culture we tend to glorify fire qualities (such as passion, activity, consumption, and drive) while overlooking water qualities (like receptivity, humility, reflection, and stillness). I explained that the natural order is a balance between these two. In parallel with this cultural imbalance, much of the planet is heating up, exhausted of resources, and drying out. Inviting water – and, more broadly, yin – in equal measure to fire is essential for our evolution and survival.
To follow up on this theme I want to clarify that fire isn’t intrinsically pathological. It’s all about how we embody it. In fact, if we tap into our innate fire in a way that’s governed by clarity, balance, and love (rather than fear and short-term pleasure-seeking), it blesses us with its virtues.
Let’s look at some of these virtues. I invite you to imagine each of these qualities in the form of physical fire and then feel into how you embody it as a human virtue.
Expansiveness: Fire’s nature is to expand. Not only does it expand in size as it finds more fuel to consume, but also its light expands into the darkness and its warmth expands into the cold. As the element that rules our heart, it prompts us to expand through acceptance, joy, and love.
Warmth: Warmth is more than a physical property, it’s an expression of our inner fire that engenders comfort, good humor, and connection. Warmth almost always goes along with openness. The ability to kindle genuine warmth in a difficult situation is a gift.
Lightness: With fire, lightness means two things – the quality of being luminous and the quality of being weightless. And it’s so natural that the word has been paired with the heart – lighthearted. (You don’t hear anyone being called light-stomached, do you?) The fact that this virtue can be evoked at any time, no matter how hard life gets, is something we should all remember.
Inclusivity: As the epitome of fire in our world – the Sun – denies its warmth and light to no one, another of fire’s virtues is inclusivity. Open hearts are inclusive hearts. There’s no part of our shadow that fire isn’t willing to illuminate.
Joy: Joy is more than an emotion. It’s an embodiment of truth – that what we are is essentially joyful, and that the Divine Play of life is an act of joyous exploration. The ego can easily shroud this truth; thus, living in joy is a purposeful act of service to ourselves and the world. When we choose joy we are remembering.
Unification: All manner of fuel can be fed into a fire and it’s rendered into one indivisible ash. Likewise, all of the above virtues support fire’s virtue of unification. Expansiveness reminds us that we’re one with everything. Warmth is the magic ingredient in cooking and interpersonal connection that brings different flavors together. Lightness shows us the insignificance of our differences and the undeniability of our kinship. Inclusivity is the invitation to discover our alchemy together and to integrate the fragmented parts of ourselves. And joy is the conductor of this grand reunion.
This week let’s all choose one of these virtues to cultivate. Sit with a fire and seek to understand what this virtue has to do with fire. Invite the fire in front of you to activate the fire inside you. Ask to be an effective channel for this virtue, and intend to embody it with an attitude of play and service. Then share with us in the comments section about how it went.
Love,
Peter
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Over the past several weeks, we’ve been looking at the factors that make for a longer, richer, more alive life.: (1) Loving life and living for the present (2) Working, stretching, and relaxing all parts of yourself (3) Dancing with consciousness (4) Reducing media consumption (5) Paying attention to your breathing (6) Eating less (7) Prioritizing community and service (8) Exchanging love and touch. You can read more about all these topics on our blog (there’s a lot more to them than the list you just read!). Today I’ll add a couple more items to the list.
#9: Optimize Your Sleep.
There are people who live long lives but don’t sleep well or much, but they tend to be outliers. Virtually everyone lives better, if not also longer, with good sleep. One of the leading causes of death has always been accidents and we’re a lot more likely to have them when we’re tired or mentally cloudy. Furthermore, when we’re well rested, we’re more likely to operate from the “evolved human” part of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) – thinking rationally and broadly. When we’re tired, we often default to the primitive “animal brain” and make decisions based on survival, pleasure-seeking, and pain-avoidance.
There’s really no substitute for adequate, replenishing sleep. If you want to learn something, you need sleep to imprint what you’re learning in a lasting way. If you want to get stronger, you need sleep to turn all that exercise and protein into muscle tissue. If you want emotional intelligence, patience, and mature communication, you need sleep in order to be non-reactive. If you want optimal performance in anything – music, chess, gymnastics, or foosball – you need sleep to recharge your nervous system. If you want to kick an infection, you need sleep to give your body a chance to do its work without demanding other things from it.
#10: Laugh More.
When I recommend laughter, I mean two things. First, just laugh more – because it’s fun and it’s good for your body and mind. Listen to stand-up comedy, share jokes, exchange tickles, join a laughing club, choose funny media over bitter. Do whatever it takes for you to have more belly laughs in your life.
Second, take a light-hearted attitude toward life. And death. In my opinion, there’s nothing that can’t be laughed at. I don’t mean derisive, mean-spirited laughter. I mean the laughter that comes from the recognition that life is funny, that there is humor in everything – including the seriousness in which so many of us hold everything. And I also mean delighted laughter – the laughter that arises from simply paying attention to how much beauty, magic, and profundity there is.
Which leads us to…
#11: Keep Your Heart Open.
It’s a natural but unfortunate impulse to close our hearts when life is unpleasant – like raising our arms to shield ourselves against an incoming attack. What I mean by “closing our heart” is a subtle contraction around the center of the chest that occurs on multiple levels simultaneously – physical, emotional, and energetic.
We do this as an instinctive act of self-preservation, but it becomes a habit of not feeling. Living with a closed heart is like narrowing the spectrum of reality we allow ourselves to experience. For what it’s worth, though, I don’t believe the heart only has two states – open or closed – it’s a range.
I recommend consciously living through your heart. Feel through your heart. Breathe through your heart. Listen through your heart. Keep it open even when you’re in pain, even when you’re afraid, even when you’re angry. You can do this just by intending it. Put your attention there, soften, and let it open like a flower.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Three Ways to Invite More Life into Your Life
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Happy Summer Solstice!
Today the earth’s tilt toward the sun is at a maximum in the Northern Hemisphere (happy winter solstice to our friends in the Southern Hemisphere), giving us the longest day and shortest night of the year.
Do you know why the summer solstice isn’t also the hottest time of year? This is because the water and land are still holding onto a lot of cold from the winter. As the water and land heat up – and sun-reflecting snow disappears, and spring clouds give way to more sun – the days continue to get hotter even though they’re also getting shorter.
Speaking of which, I find it interesting that although this feels like the beginning of the long days of summer, the days will actually be getting shorter starting tomorrow. Since today is the peak of day length, it’s also the start of the decline of light that will culminate in the winter solstice, the year’s darkest day.
How did you feel when you read the last paragraph? Were you disappointed to read about the days getting shorter? I know some of you thrive in the darkness and the winter, but many of us – even the winter-lovers – have a hard time with the idea of the sunshine diminishing (especially when it feels like winter just ended).
But the summer solstice is an ideal time to learn nonattachment and how to choose our internal orientation.
The ancient text, Yi Jing (or The Book of Changes), discusses the fundamental states of nature and how they represent all the phenomena and dynamics of human life. This moment is well described in the chapter called Zenith (hexagram 55). The book explains that while the zenith of any cycle is a time of abundance, achievement, and excitement, by definition it doesn’t last.
Whether it’s the solstice, the orgasm, or the moment when you blow out your birthday candles and everyone’s loving attention is directed at you, there’s nothing we can do to hoard or protect our peak experiences. The best way to retain the essence of these luminous moments is to be totally present in them: releasing any agenda; being fully engaged in the here-and-now; letting the energy flow freely through us and sharing the warmth and brightness with others. Conducting ourselves this way also ensures less of a comedown afterwards.
If you tend to feel attached to life’s peak moments and are reluctant for them to end, how would you describe the virtuous quality of the experience you have in these moments (which you may believe is otherwise lacking in the “normal” times after the peak subsides)? Abundance? Connection? Love? Peace? Unity?
Whatever the quality, I want to suggest that this quality is always within you. It just gets “turned on” when you feel the circumstances are magical enough to warrant it. But you are the one who chooses it. You turn it on.
It’s possible to change your orientation to this virtue so that you consciously operate from this virtue (for example, operating from an internal orientation of abundance) rather than treating it as something the world does to you when you’re lucky. Or something you can manipulate yourself, others, and the external world into delivering to you.
Believe it. Believe that change is possible – because it is.
Choose it.
Keep choosing it.
Over and over and over and over.
Keep choosing it.
Did I mention that this is something you need to choose and re-choose and re-choose?
Remember, you’re a creator and this is your central creative power.
And choose your orientation again.
As you notice a change, really notice the change. Tell yourself, “It’s working.” Journal about it.
Stay committed to it.
Keeping choosing.
And when your ego suggests, “Ok, great, we can stop now,” tell it, “No thanks. I’m going to be this way forever. I’ve been waiting for this, and now it’s my new M.O.”
I’m happy for you.
Love,
Peter
[post_title] => Stop Waiting for Life to Give You What You Can Choose for Yourself
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Recently I wrote about the Fire Element, which governs the summer season, and how as a culture we tend to glorify fire qualities (such as passion, activity, consumption, and drive) while overlooking water qualities (like receptivity, humility, reflection, and stillness). I explained that the natural order is a balance between these two. In parallel with this cultural imbalance, much of the planet is heating up, exhausted of resources, and drying out. Inviting water – and, more broadly, yin – in equal measure to fire is essential for our evolution and survival.
To follow up on this theme I want to clarify that fire isn’t intrinsically pathological. It’s all about how we embody it. In fact, if we tap into our innate fire in a way that’s governed by clarity, balance, and love (rather than fear and short-term pleasure-seeking), it blesses us with its virtues.
Let’s look at some of these virtues. I invite you to imagine each of these qualities in the form of physical fire and then feel into how you embody it as a human virtue.
Expansiveness: Fire’s nature is to expand. Not only does it expand in size as it finds more fuel to consume, but also its light expands into the darkness and its warmth expands into the cold. As the element that rules our heart, it prompts us to expand through acceptance, joy, and love.
Warmth: Warmth is more than a physical property, it’s an expression of our inner fire that engenders comfort, good humor, and connection. Warmth almost always goes along with openness. The ability to kindle genuine warmth in a difficult situation is a gift.
Lightness: With fire, lightness means two things – the quality of being luminous and the quality of being weightless. And it’s so natural that the word has been paired with the heart – lighthearted. (You don’t hear anyone being called light-stomached, do you?) The fact that this virtue can be evoked at any time, no matter how hard life gets, is something we should all remember.
Inclusivity: As the epitome of fire in our world – the Sun – denies its warmth and light to no one, another of fire’s virtues is inclusivity. Open hearts are inclusive hearts. There’s no part of our shadow that fire isn’t willing to illuminate.
Joy: Joy is more than an emotion. It’s an embodiment of truth – that what we are is essentially joyful, and that the Divine Play of life is an act of joyous exploration. The ego can easily shroud this truth; thus, living in joy is a purposeful act of service to ourselves and the world. When we choose joy we are remembering.
Unification: All manner of fuel can be fed into a fire and it’s rendered into one indivisible ash. Likewise, all of the above virtues support fire’s virtue of unification. Expansiveness reminds us that we’re one with everything. Warmth is the magic ingredient in cooking and interpersonal connection that brings different flavors together. Lightness shows us the insignificance of our differences and the undeniability of our kinship. Inclusivity is the invitation to discover our alchemy together and to integrate the fragmented parts of ourselves. And joy is the conductor of this grand reunion.
This week let’s all choose one of these virtues to cultivate. Sit with a fire and seek to understand what this virtue has to do with fire. Invite the fire in front of you to activate the fire inside you. Ask to be an effective channel for this virtue, and intend to embody it with an attitude of play and service. Then share with us in the comments section about how it went.
Love,
Peter
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