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Early in my career, I found it gratifying to treat pain and I was pretty good at it. The art of choosing the right acupuncture points is fascinating, creative, and even fun. But then I attended a seminar on marketing where the instructor advised, “Choose a specialty and focus on just treating that one thing,” and a friend suggested I should become a pain specialist. At the time, it felt like someone suggesting to a painter, “You should limit yourself to painting only in yellow from now on.”
I was resistant to the idea partly because, like most people, I enjoy variety, and partly because the treatment of pain seemed like superficial work. Fixing sore elbows day in and day out would have been the equivalent of painting only in yellow, so I decided I couldn’t be a fixer of body parts. The only way I could be satisfied – and simultaneously facilitate a deeper level of healing – was to treat whole people.
Over the years since, I’ve come to understand that pain encompasses a huge range of health concerns and it’s often broader than we think. Chronic pain is frequently part of a complex pattern where it may be intertwined with depression, anxiety, anger, grief, psychological trauma, and also with digestive disorders, sleep disturbances, and more. So there’s plenty of opportunity for variety and depth, and there’s also a great need for pain treatments that are more intelligent than pills.
I’ve felt called to educate people on different ways of understanding pain. It helps more than you might think. In 2014, Lancet published a study on the impact of education on people with neck pain. Participants were divided into two groups: half of them got 20 sessions of physical therapy, lasting an hour each. The other half got 30 minutes of education and two follow up phone calls about pain. Throughout the 12-month study, both groups had equal rates of improvement. Spending a short time learning about pain was as effective as twenty hours of physical therapy!
I created an online course to teach people productive ways of understanding pain along with instruction in a wide range of do-it-yourself methods for stopping pain. We also unravel the broader psychological, social, and physiological context that the pain is wrapped up in. I know everybody isn’t going to take this course, though, and there are a few concepts I teach in it that I want to share with the whole world. So I’ll be explaining them in the next couple articles. Even if you’re not in pain now, chances are you’ll experience some in the future, or someone close to you will struggle with it. Knowing what’s going on inside can really help. And as you’ll see, the possible expressions of pain go way beyond our usual definition.
I want the world to understand this because it’s simple, it makes sense, and it gives us an intuitive sense of what to do about it. Here it is: all pain is due to some form of stagnation. When things (blood, food, lymph, energy, feelings, etc.) move freely through us we generally feel good, and when they don’t we feel bad.
Here are some examples. When we have a traumatic injury, there is damaged skin and nerves, crushed or severed blood vessels, torn muscle and other connective tissue, and perhaps broken bone. The damage means that free flow through the area is impeded. Thus, there is stagnation and it hurts.
If we overeat and food is so crammed into our digestive tract that it’s barely moving, this is a form of stagnation and it feels bad. If we have a blood clot that’s blocking the flow, this is stagnation and it’s painful. If blood stops moving through the vessels that serve the heart itself, this is dire stagnation, and it’s intensely painful. If we sleep in a cramped position, are dehydrated, or don’t move much, our muscles can become locked up and irritated – i.e., stagnant – and they hurt.
In the same way, if we lose someone we love and we cling to them even though they’re not physically here anymore, this is mental and emotional stagnation, and it makes the process more painful. If we harbor any negative feeling (rather than allowing it to be felt and to move through us freely) this is a form of emotional stagnation, and so we suffer. Aside: all negative emotions are qualitatively different from positive ones in that they have a restrictive or contractive effect on the body-mind. Positive emotions have an opening or expansive effect.
I’m not implying that if you’re grieving a loss or have been stuck in a state of anger, you should feel bad or wrong for doing this. In fact, if you do so – i.e., if you resist what’s happening or tell yourself, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” – you only compound the stagnation, which makes the pain worse and impedes the healing process.
Resistance is a major cause of stagnation. So, looking at this mechanism in the broadest way, when we resist reality – meaning, we don’t accept any aspect of life (either in the outside world or within our own inner experience) – we contract ourselves, we tighten up, and we limit our own freedom. This causes stagnation and stagnation hurts – physically, mentally, and emotionally. Resistance causes stagnation and stagnation causes pain and suffering. If we resist the pain and suffering, we get caught in a vicious circle.
Although I learned about the connection between stagnation and pain when I was studying acupuncture, it was only through years of treating people and self-exploration that I came to understand the staggering implications of this mechanism and the role that resistance plays. When I began to see pain in this way – all the different forms and how profoundly it affects the course of our lives – it no longer felt like a limited career path!
Before I get into how to use this model to get out of pain, I want to add a few sub-principles. First, all parts of us are interconnected, so stagnation on one level can readily lead to stagnation on another level. For example, if we’re chronically angry, tense, or sad (emotional stagnation) this can eventually show up as, say, a tension headache or lower back pain (physical stagnation). Vice versa, living in a tight and inflexible body (physical stagnation) can contribute to a lack of mental flexibility – rigid thinking, frustration, depression, etc.
Second, because of this interconnection, clearing stagnation on any level tends to promote healthy flow on all levels. For instance, physical exercise is beneficial for depression, because moving the body moves the mind. Likewise, using the mind to imagine energy and blood coursing freely through a painful area of the body can often be as effective as painkillers. For the same reason, if we’re in physical pain, it is always worthwhile to look inward and see if there’s some story or emotional pattern we need to let go of.
Third, while resistance leads to stagnation, acceptance (feeling willingly, not arguing with reality, surrendering) restores flow. Thus, there is often immediate relief from suffering when we stop resisting it. So, to summarize:
- Where there is pain there is stagnation
- Resistance promotes stagnation
- All levels of our being are interconnected, so
- Stagnation can spread between levels
- Movement on one level can alleviate stagnation on multiple levels
- Relinquishing resistance restores the flow
Take some time to think about this and feel into it. And tell me about your experience with it in the comments section below. I’ll explain some ways to utilize this model next week and we’ll also look at an updated Western model of pain.
Be well,
Peter
Learn more about the Live Pain Free course
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When my wife was a teenager, her stepmother once advised her that if she didn’t have anything nice to say to someone, she could instead try saying, “Thank you.” Not long thereafter, my wife directed some teenage angst at her stepmom, who was silent for a moment and then responded, “Thank you!” before exiting the room.
At Thanksgiving, I’m reminded of the many flavors of gratitude and the interesting power of the words thank you. These words come up with kind of an unusual frequency in our household, and it’s not because we don’t have anything nice to say to each other.
A major contributor to the rise of thank yous in our home is the fact that my wife and I have been trying to teach them to our six year old daughter. She’s at an age when saying thank you doesn’t always come naturally. It’s a behavior to be memorized and executed habitually so your parents don’t get fussy.
I catch myself sometimes flashing a sheepish look at generous adults as I prompt her with, “What do you say, Sailor?” Later I’ve told her, “I don’t want to have to keep reminding you to say thank you.”
To be honest, that’s not really the way I want to teach her the specialness of these words. I don’t want her to say thank you out of guilt. I don’t want her to say it just because it’s polite. I don’t want her to learn that a steady stream of thank yous is the way to avoid any disruption to the process of gift unwrapping or trick-or-treating.
I want her to say it because she feels it.
When thank you issues from your heart because you feel gratitude, the last thing on your mind is what effect it might have on the other person. It seems a misuse of these words to hope to get something – even better rapport – in return for saying them. On the other hand, it seems silly to reserve them just for special occasions . . . unless you recognize that your day is full of them.
Sometimes a more calculated use of thank you can still feel earnest, such as when you encounter difficulties. Maybe it doesn’t arise spontaneously when things don’t go the way you want them to. Perhaps thank you is the last sentiment on your mind when, for instance, the world is experiencing a pandemic and you can’t gather with your friends and family on Thanksgiving. Instead, maybe you’re thinking, this sucks.
But the smooth flow of life proceeds by some pretty basic rules. There’s acceptance and resistance, yes and no. Whether we think, this sucks, or, this isn’t what I wanted, or, this isn’t fair, or simply, no . . . we resist the reality of things. We generate struggle, friction, conflict, and pain.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t allow ourselves to think and feel these things (because, of course, that would be saying no on another level). But this attitude is the equivalent of paddling against the current. What if we just get back into the flow and utilize the trajectory of life, but gently steer toward greater harmony?
When, even in the face of COVID, we think, yes, or, I’m game, or, let’s see where this leads me, or, I’m open, or THANK YOU, something very different happens. Our internal experience changes immediately. But also, magically, the world responds differently to us. The world perceives us as an agent of flow, an emissary of play, an open-hearted-enthusiastic-participant-in-life, and it says, “Wonderful.” If you look an obstacle in the face and say, thank you, you deflate its power to bully you. You state your anticipation of an outcome you’ll be grateful for.
This Thanksgiving, why not try saying thank you not just for the good stuff, but for the challenges, too. I’m curious to hear how this lands with you.
Thank you – for everything,
Dr. Peter Borten
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Are you someone who sets ambitious goals at the beginning of the year but then struggles to follow through on them? We’ve been there. It’s one of the reasons we created our Dreambook – to teach people how to set goals, how to break these goals down into simple actionable steps, and how to get them scheduled. But there’s one critical factor in the achievement of goals that’s a lot more difficult to teach or impart, and for most people it matters more than all the other skills.
That factor is a commitment to have personal integrity, specifically around keeping agreements. If you are driven to be utterly dependable – to always follow through on your agreements, both with yourself and with others – then tremendous power will be at your disposal.
It takes sustained energy to lift ourselves out of inertia. Physics tells us that inertia is “a property of matter by which it continues in its existing state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, unless that state is changed by an external force.” Or in Isaac Newton’s words, “a power of resisting by which every body … endeavours to preserve its present state."1 The first definition states that inertia must be changed by an external force, but when we’re talking about objects with volition (humans, for example) that force can be an internal one.
How can we strengthen the force to change our course? It can be fortified in multiple ways. One is the vision which inspires us. It’s important to make yourself remember why you want to make a change. What gifts do you have that yearn to be awakened and shared? How will you and the world benefit from this change? I recommend that you practice remembering your inspiration throughout the day in a multisensory way, ideally in a relaxed, meditative state. What is it going to feel like? What will it look like? What things will you hear people say? Take a breath, tune in, and embody the change. Each instance need not take more than a minute or so.
Because such inspiration can wax and wane – and inertia can be exceptionally strong, like the body’s resistance to changing its weight – it helps to have another power to sustain the impulse to change, and that’s what integrity can do. Sometimes it’s conflated with what we call “willpower,” but using willpower implies a fight. (Since time immemorial that struggle has been between human willpower and “temptation,” which is defined in the Bible as “one quarter-cubit [roughly a pint] of the Benjamin & Jeremiah brand of ice cream.”)
In contrast, aligning ourselves with virtue of integrity is simply strong and clear. It can help us through conflict, but it doesn’t imply conflict. Coming from a nature-based spirituality, I see the earth element as the ideal model of integrity.
In nature earth embodies integrity in that it holds its form with great consistency. The plates of the earth will barely move within our lifetimes. Neither will our mountain ranges change. Healthy land resists erosion, and strong riverbanks contain the rushing water in a path that hardly varies from century to century.
Integrity in earth and humans implies great stability and reliability – even predictability. We all trust in the solid ground beneath us. In the same way, a person with integrity is predictable in that they can be counted on to act in accordance with their word. Thus, the trustworthy, consistent feeling we have about the soil under our feet is something we embody when we cultivate integrity. Likewise, it’s how people feel about us when we embody integrity. The expression “you are my rock” speaks of this virtue. Imagine being that for your loved ones. Imagine being that for yourself.
If you’ve made commitments for change in the coming year, I recommend tuning in to the earth element to experience a felt sense of this integrity. There are many ways to connect to it. Here’s one.
Stand with your feet shoulder width apart. Have a slight bend in your knees, as if you were sitting on the edge of a high stool (you’ll feel it in your thighs). Engage your inner thigh muscles to bring your knees out so they are aligned with your feet. Straighten your spine by slightly tucking your tailbone forward and drawing your chin slightly back. Imagine that your spine is a clear vessel between the earth and the sky.
Bring your arms out in front of you as if you were resting your palms on a giant round belly. Your palms face your body, and there should be a bit of lift in your elbows, an openness in your armpits. Let your chest and heart relax.
Imagine there’s a string attached to the very top of your head and it’s lifting you to the sky. Imagine there’s also a string attached to the tip of your tailbone and its pulling you to the ground, prompting you to remember to stay in a slight squat. These two opposing forces make you stretch in both directions.
Now bring your attention to your feet and your connection to the earth. See if you can feet each of the nine points of contact shown in the diagram above – the five pads of your toes, the two balls of your feet, the outer “blade” of your foot, and the pad of your heel. Try to distribute your weight evenly between these nine points of contact. As you do so, imagine that a strong root of energy is emerging from your sole and growing deep, deep, deep into the earth.
Relax in this posture, remembering to lengthen your spine, soften your chest, keep your knees and elbows open, and maintaining evenness on the nine points of contact. Meanwhile, imagine these roots from your soles are powerfully connecting you to the essence of the earth. Ask to be nourished. Ask to be taught about integrity. And see what happens.
You can hold this standing meditation for as long as you like. When you’re done, lay your palms on your lower belly and feel your strength consolidating there for a few moments. Try doing this on a regular basis. Over time, stand for longer and deepen your squat. Your legs and your focus will become stronger. Notice how this fortifies your commitment to integrity. And feel free to share about your experience with our community.
Be well,
Peter
- Andrew Motte's English translation: Newton, Isaac (1846), Newton's Principia : the mathematical principles of natural philosophy, New York: Daniel Adee, p. 72
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Early in my career, I found it gratifying to treat pain and I was pretty good at it. The art of choosing the right acupuncture points is fascinating, creative, and even fun. But then I attended a seminar on marketing where the instructor advised, “Choose a specialty and focus on just treating that one thing,” and a friend suggested I should become a pain specialist. At the time, it felt like someone suggesting to a painter, “You should limit yourself to painting only in yellow from now on.”
I was resistant to the idea partly because, like most people, I enjoy variety, and partly because the treatment of pain seemed like superficial work. Fixing sore elbows day in and day out would have been the equivalent of painting only in yellow, so I decided I couldn’t be a fixer of body parts. The only way I could be satisfied – and simultaneously facilitate a deeper level of healing – was to treat whole people.
Over the years since, I’ve come to understand that pain encompasses a huge range of health concerns and it’s often broader than we think. Chronic pain is frequently part of a complex pattern where it may be intertwined with depression, anxiety, anger, grief, psychological trauma, and also with digestive disorders, sleep disturbances, and more. So there’s plenty of opportunity for variety and depth, and there’s also a great need for pain treatments that are more intelligent than pills.
I’ve felt called to educate people on different ways of understanding pain. It helps more than you might think. In 2014, Lancet published a study on the impact of education on people with neck pain. Participants were divided into two groups: half of them got 20 sessions of physical therapy, lasting an hour each. The other half got 30 minutes of education and two follow up phone calls about pain. Throughout the 12-month study, both groups had equal rates of improvement. Spending a short time learning about pain was as effective as twenty hours of physical therapy!
I created an online course to teach people productive ways of understanding pain along with instruction in a wide range of do-it-yourself methods for stopping pain. We also unravel the broader psychological, social, and physiological context that the pain is wrapped up in. I know everybody isn’t going to take this course, though, and there are a few concepts I teach in it that I want to share with the whole world. So I’ll be explaining them in the next couple articles. Even if you’re not in pain now, chances are you’ll experience some in the future, or someone close to you will struggle with it. Knowing what’s going on inside can really help. And as you’ll see, the possible expressions of pain go way beyond our usual definition.
I want the world to understand this because it’s simple, it makes sense, and it gives us an intuitive sense of what to do about it. Here it is: all pain is due to some form of stagnation. When things (blood, food, lymph, energy, feelings, etc.) move freely through us we generally feel good, and when they don’t we feel bad.
Here are some examples. When we have a traumatic injury, there is damaged skin and nerves, crushed or severed blood vessels, torn muscle and other connective tissue, and perhaps broken bone. The damage means that free flow through the area is impeded. Thus, there is stagnation and it hurts.
If we overeat and food is so crammed into our digestive tract that it’s barely moving, this is a form of stagnation and it feels bad. If we have a blood clot that’s blocking the flow, this is stagnation and it’s painful. If blood stops moving through the vessels that serve the heart itself, this is dire stagnation, and it’s intensely painful. If we sleep in a cramped position, are dehydrated, or don’t move much, our muscles can become locked up and irritated – i.e., stagnant – and they hurt.
In the same way, if we lose someone we love and we cling to them even though they’re not physically here anymore, this is mental and emotional stagnation, and it makes the process more painful. If we harbor any negative feeling (rather than allowing it to be felt and to move through us freely) this is a form of emotional stagnation, and so we suffer. Aside: all negative emotions are qualitatively different from positive ones in that they have a restrictive or contractive effect on the body-mind. Positive emotions have an opening or expansive effect.
I’m not implying that if you’re grieving a loss or have been stuck in a state of anger, you should feel bad or wrong for doing this. In fact, if you do so – i.e., if you resist what’s happening or tell yourself, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” – you only compound the stagnation, which makes the pain worse and impedes the healing process.
Resistance is a major cause of stagnation. So, looking at this mechanism in the broadest way, when we resist reality – meaning, we don’t accept any aspect of life (either in the outside world or within our own inner experience) – we contract ourselves, we tighten up, and we limit our own freedom. This causes stagnation and stagnation hurts – physically, mentally, and emotionally. Resistance causes stagnation and stagnation causes pain and suffering. If we resist the pain and suffering, we get caught in a vicious circle.
Although I learned about the connection between stagnation and pain when I was studying acupuncture, it was only through years of treating people and self-exploration that I came to understand the staggering implications of this mechanism and the role that resistance plays. When I began to see pain in this way – all the different forms and how profoundly it affects the course of our lives – it no longer felt like a limited career path!
Before I get into how to use this model to get out of pain, I want to add a few sub-principles. First, all parts of us are interconnected, so stagnation on one level can readily lead to stagnation on another level. For example, if we’re chronically angry, tense, or sad (emotional stagnation) this can eventually show up as, say, a tension headache or lower back pain (physical stagnation). Vice versa, living in a tight and inflexible body (physical stagnation) can contribute to a lack of mental flexibility – rigid thinking, frustration, depression, etc.
Second, because of this interconnection, clearing stagnation on any level tends to promote healthy flow on all levels. For instance, physical exercise is beneficial for depression, because moving the body moves the mind. Likewise, using the mind to imagine energy and blood coursing freely through a painful area of the body can often be as effective as painkillers. For the same reason, if we’re in physical pain, it is always worthwhile to look inward and see if there’s some story or emotional pattern we need to let go of.
Third, while resistance leads to stagnation, acceptance (feeling willingly, not arguing with reality, surrendering) restores flow. Thus, there is often immediate relief from suffering when we stop resisting it. So, to summarize:
- Where there is pain there is stagnation
- Resistance promotes stagnation
- All levels of our being are interconnected, so
- Stagnation can spread between levels
- Movement on one level can alleviate stagnation on multiple levels
- Relinquishing resistance restores the flow
Take some time to think about this and feel into it. And tell me about your experience with it in the comments section below. I’ll explain some ways to utilize this model next week and we’ll also look at an updated Western model of pain.
Be well,
Peter
Learn more about the Live Pain Free course
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