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[post_content] => A few days ago I was out in the sun in a beekeeping suit for hours, lifting frames of comb that were heavy and dripping with honey. We had to damage the bees’ work because they had “cross-combed” some of their frames together (built comb that bridged multiple “drawers” of their hive), so they were buzzing around us angrily and dive-bombing my face. It was getting very toasty in my suit, and then I started feeling my heartbeat in my head. I turned to Briana and I said, “I think I might pass out.”
I remembered a cooling technique one of my first yoga teachers taught me: you curl your tongue and inhale slowly through it like a straw, then exhale through your nose, and repeat. I don’t know if that’s what did it or if it was the Great Bee Spirit yelling into my mind, “Get it together, man! Do NOT drop that box full of thousands of bees!” I am happy to report that I didn’t faint and we finished our work without incident.
That convergence of tremendous heat and the beating of my heart reminded me that it’s a good time to revisit the lessons of the Fire Element. Fire presides over summer, when the Sun – the quintessence of Fire – is closest to us. In the human body, each element is represented by an internal organ. Can you guess what the main Fire organ is?
I’ll give you a hint. It’s red, it’s constantly pulsating, and it radiates its influence over the whole body. It’s the heart, of course – the sun of the human being. Over the past couple centuries, the brain has largely displaced the heart as the organ people think of as most important – but it would be worthless without constant, uninterrupted blood flow from the heart.
In traditional Chinese medical philosophy, each organ has a position in the community of the body-mind, and the heart is considered to be the Emperor/Empress. The ancient Daoists had a lot of wise things to say about leadership (see the classic, Dao De Jing by Lao Zi), and I think these insights are especially valuable at this time – particularly in the U.S. where recent years have brought intense sociopolitical division.
The role of the superior leader, Lao Zi wrote, is to integrate, to allow all parts of the kingdom to feel included. Before the throne of the superior leader, everyone is heard; no one is stifled or invalidated. As the Fire organ, we could say it’s like allowing the light and warmth of the sun to spread to and encompass the farthest reaches of the solar system. Even a planet as distant as Pluto is still held in the Sun’s grasp.
The role of the heart as an organ is the same – it wants to circulate its blood to all parts of the body. If there’s something sick or objectionable, like a sore on the foot, it doesn’t exclude the foot from its circulation. While that might kill the foot and eliminate the sore, it wouldn’t be real healing.
The heart is considered to be the portal by which Awareness (Shen) enters this body and mind. I consider the term Awareness here to be synonymous with Light of Consciousness, Holy Spirit, God, Love, or whatever word feels best to you. Let’s use Love for the moment, since it doesn’t push as many buttons as “God” and it shares a lot of qualities with Fire.
Until about 100 years ago, Fire (as the sun, campfires, candles, etc.) was the sole source of light and warmth in our world. When we open our hearts to Love, we feel a similar inner light and warmth. Love could be considered the heart’s greatest power. Love, like Fire, is a unifying force. People of all kinds and in all places look up to the same one light and are sustained by it. And though all manner of things can be fed into a fire, they become one homogeneous pile of ash – all differences rendered indistinguishable. The same is the case for Love.
The heart works best when it’s open. An open heart lets love and awareness through. An open heart is inclusive. But we’ve all closed our hearts many times. We do it as a reactive defense mechanism in order to not feel pain or other undesirable feelings. We do it whenever we refuse to accept some aspect of reality (like white supremacists or human trafficking, to name two of the hardest). Sometimes we believe it’s best not to feel at all – because that will make life easier or will make us strong and manly. So the heart remains mostly or entirely closed. Is it any wonder that the main cause of death is, essentially, closure of the heart and its vessels (we call this stroke, heart attack, and other forms of cardiovascular disease)?
The physical implications of closed hearts are relatively minor, though. The psychospiritual implications are where this habit hits us hardest. What are we left with when we exclude Love, Light, and Spirit from our lives? It’s like restricting ourselves to seeing just one color (it’s called Pantone 448 C, by the way). It makes us think of the world in terms of “us and them.” It causes us to focus on what’s wrong instead of what’s right. And it enables us to be willfully ignorant of the impacts of our choices on other humans and the planet (though not entirely ignorant – there's always a part of us that knows).
I believe the work of the heart (through the power of love) is absolute inclusion. Feel everything. Accept everything – even the things you’re working to change. Accept everyone – even those you condemn (they have something to teach you about your shadow). This is not an invitation to bypass the work before you. It’s a call to step into that work with an open heart.
If there’s something you don’t like about the world, or a person you find difficult, consider the likely outcome of rejecting or excluding them. How would you respond to being condemned? Like the sick foot, does this person heal through exclusion?
Find the parts of your kingdom (within and without) that you have excluded, and let your love rush into them. If there’s something you don’t like, begin with inclusion. Say, “I completely love, forgive, and accept myself – even though I have this {issue that I find objectionable}” or “I completely love, forgive, and accept you – even though I disagree with your views {or even condemn your actions}.” You may even find your heart saying, “Even though I must stop you from harming others, I completely love, forgive, and accept the essential being that you are, and I welcome the healing of your mind and the re-emergence of that essence.”
Saturate and envelop, and draw into your heart, the orphaned and rejected elements of yourself and the world. I believe this is our soul work; this is how we heal the world.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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[post_content] => When my wife was a teenager, her stepmother once advised her that if she didn’t have anything nice to say to someone, she could instead try saying, “Thank you.” Not long thereafter, my wife directed some teenage angst at her stepmom, who was silent for a moment and then responded, “Thank you!” before exiting the room.
At Thanksgiving, I’m reminded of the many flavors of gratitude and the interesting power of the words thank you. These words come up with kind of an unusual frequency in our household, and it’s not because we don’t have anything nice to say to each other.
A major contributor to the rise of thank yous in our home is the fact that my wife and I have been trying to teach them to our six year old daughter. She’s at an age when saying thank you doesn’t always come naturally. It’s a behavior to be memorized and executed habitually so your parents don’t get fussy.
I catch myself sometimes flashing a sheepish look at generous adults as I prompt her with, “What do you say, Sailor?” Later I’ve told her, “I don’t want to have to keep reminding you to say thank you.”
To be honest, that’s not really the way I want to teach her the specialness of these words. I don’t want her to say thank you out of guilt. I don’t want her to say it just because it’s polite. I don’t want her to learn that a steady stream of thank yous is the way to avoid any disruption to the process of gift unwrapping or trick-or-treating.
I want her to say it because she feels it.
When thank you issues from your heart because you feel gratitude, the last thing on your mind is what effect it might have on the other person. It seems a misuse of these words to hope to get something – even better rapport – in return for saying them. On the other hand, it seems silly to reserve them just for special occasions . . . unless you recognize that your day is full of them.
Sometimes a more calculated use of thank you can still feel earnest, such as when you encounter difficulties. Maybe it doesn’t arise spontaneously when things don’t go the way you want them to. Perhaps thank you is the last sentiment on your mind when, for instance, the world is experiencing a pandemic and you can’t gather with your friends and family on Thanksgiving. Instead, maybe you’re thinking, this sucks.
But the smooth flow of life proceeds by some pretty basic rules. There’s acceptance and resistance, yes and no. Whether we think, this sucks, or, this isn’t what I wanted, or, this isn’t fair, or simply, no . . . we resist the reality of things. We generate struggle, friction, conflict, and pain.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t allow ourselves to think and feel these things (because, of course, that would be saying no on another level). But this attitude is the equivalent of paddling against the current. What if we just get back into the flow and utilize the trajectory of life, but gently steer toward greater harmony?
When, even in the face of COVID, we think, yes, or, I’m game, or, let’s see where this leads me, or, I’m open, or THANK YOU, something very different happens. Our internal experience changes immediately. But also, magically, the world responds differently to us. The world perceives us as an agent of flow, an emissary of play, an open-hearted-enthusiastic-participant-in-life, and it says, “Wonderful.” If you look an obstacle in the face and say, thank you, you deflate its power to bully you. You state your anticipation of an outcome you’ll be grateful for.
This Thanksgiving, why not try saying thank you not just for the good stuff, but for the challenges, too. I’m curious to hear how this lands with you.
Thank you – for everything,
Dr. Peter Borten
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[post_content] => So much of what we do through The Dragontree – both at our spas and with our products, courses, and articles – is meant to assist people to prioritize self-care. In an age when many people barely take a minute in a day for pure self-care, I’m happy to hear of any way in which someone is making space in their life for wellness. And also . . . if I could be a little nitpicky about it, I’d wish for even more Self in people’s self-care.
From talking about it with my patients, I’ve gathered that most people’s idea of self-care includes things like grooming, bathing, exercise, eating well, and perhaps reading a book in a cozy chair. These are all good and important, but it’s possible to do them without really getting to what the Self needs, and we can perform these activities without any conscious care. I’ve even known people whose die-hard approach to yoga was ultimately more stress-inducing than it was nourishing.
Care implies listening – quieting the mind and being open to understand what is needed. If someone handed you a crying child and said, “Care for this child,” you’d probably drop what you were doing – both physically and mentally – and ask something like, “What’s wrong?” Then you’d just listen. And perhaps you’d next ask, “What do you need?”
I don’t mean to imply that grooming can’t be self-care. But let’s think of self-care as comprising multiple layers. On the surface there are the things you do to maintain your appearance, your general health, your ability to function in society, and your composure – bathing, eating, sleeping, haircuts, etc. The next layer contains the deeper (or higher, if you prefer) measures of maintenance that enable you to manage your challenges and thrive. Perhaps this means taking time to forgive, to process your relationship challenges, work on your communication skills, clean up interpersonal conflicts, deactivate your buttons, define and pursue your (worldly) dreams, discipline your mind, etc. Most of this falls within the realm of “self-help.”
And then there’s an even deeper (or higher) layer of self-care that’s could be described as making space for your Essence. That is, letting your Self (AKA the Consciousness that you are, your Divine nature, Spirit, God, your Highest Self) be recognized and listening to it. (By the way, I make no promise that there are only three layers. There might be seventeen layers. My point is that self-care can address the form or the essence or both.)
Take a break from giving your attention to your mind, your emotions, your pain, your grievances, or any of the other content of your life. Instead, notice the container that holds it all. Or, as Adyashanti says, “Turn your attention upon itself.” Your attention – whose attention is that? Turn the focus of your attention around to notice the source of that attention.
The container that holds all the contents of life – all the thoughts, feelings, events, all the objects of your attention – that container itself, the Space, is You. Many spiritual teachers assert that it’s actually much more your true Essence than any of its contents. The contents are fleeting. The container – Consciousness itself – is eternal. The deepest self-care is the practice of trusting in it. Surrendering to it. Relinquishing everything to it. Even if only for the duration of a single breath.
If you need help integrating self-care into your routine and you live near Portland or Boulder, consider getting a membership with us so that you’ll have a structure that you can designate for care of your Self. Leave everything at the door and be present to each moment for its own sake.
If you don’t live near us – and even if you do – a daily practice is likely to yield the greatest transformation, and you don’t really need to make time for it. You just need to make Space for it. Several times a day, give the whole of your awareness to a single breath (or a couple breaths). Once in a while you might ask yourself, how much of my awareness did I give to that breath? I just took a breath between that sentence and this one, and I’d say I gave 83% of my awareness to it. Notice that. Does it change over time?
Sometimes, try doing it without stopping whatever else you’re doing. Watch your breath while you are in conversation, while eating, while showering, while driving, and especially while doing the other forms of self-care. Although getting a pedicure might be a relatively superficial form of self-care, if you are completely present to it, it becomes true Self-care.
Little by little, your Essence will be a growing presence in your everyday life. You won’t get wrapped up as easily in drama. Jiddu Krishnamurti said, “My secret is . . . I don’t mind what happens.” This is the case when Essence, rather than ego, is in the driver’s seat.
Be well,
Peter
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[post_content] => A few days ago I was out in the sun in a beekeeping suit for hours, lifting frames of comb that were heavy and dripping with honey. We had to damage the bees’ work because they had “cross-combed” some of their frames together (built comb that bridged multiple “drawers” of their hive), so they were buzzing around us angrily and dive-bombing my face. It was getting very toasty in my suit, and then I started feeling my heartbeat in my head. I turned to Briana and I said, “I think I might pass out.”
I remembered a cooling technique one of my first yoga teachers taught me: you curl your tongue and inhale slowly through it like a straw, then exhale through your nose, and repeat. I don’t know if that’s what did it or if it was the Great Bee Spirit yelling into my mind, “Get it together, man! Do NOT drop that box full of thousands of bees!” I am happy to report that I didn’t faint and we finished our work without incident.
That convergence of tremendous heat and the beating of my heart reminded me that it’s a good time to revisit the lessons of the Fire Element. Fire presides over summer, when the Sun – the quintessence of Fire – is closest to us. In the human body, each element is represented by an internal organ. Can you guess what the main Fire organ is?
I’ll give you a hint. It’s red, it’s constantly pulsating, and it radiates its influence over the whole body. It’s the heart, of course – the sun of the human being. Over the past couple centuries, the brain has largely displaced the heart as the organ people think of as most important – but it would be worthless without constant, uninterrupted blood flow from the heart.
In traditional Chinese medical philosophy, each organ has a position in the community of the body-mind, and the heart is considered to be the Emperor/Empress. The ancient Daoists had a lot of wise things to say about leadership (see the classic, Dao De Jing by Lao Zi), and I think these insights are especially valuable at this time – particularly in the U.S. where recent years have brought intense sociopolitical division.
The role of the superior leader, Lao Zi wrote, is to integrate, to allow all parts of the kingdom to feel included. Before the throne of the superior leader, everyone is heard; no one is stifled or invalidated. As the Fire organ, we could say it’s like allowing the light and warmth of the sun to spread to and encompass the farthest reaches of the solar system. Even a planet as distant as Pluto is still held in the Sun’s grasp.
The role of the heart as an organ is the same – it wants to circulate its blood to all parts of the body. If there’s something sick or objectionable, like a sore on the foot, it doesn’t exclude the foot from its circulation. While that might kill the foot and eliminate the sore, it wouldn’t be real healing.
The heart is considered to be the portal by which Awareness (Shen) enters this body and mind. I consider the term Awareness here to be synonymous with Light of Consciousness, Holy Spirit, God, Love, or whatever word feels best to you. Let’s use Love for the moment, since it doesn’t push as many buttons as “God” and it shares a lot of qualities with Fire.
Until about 100 years ago, Fire (as the sun, campfires, candles, etc.) was the sole source of light and warmth in our world. When we open our hearts to Love, we feel a similar inner light and warmth. Love could be considered the heart’s greatest power. Love, like Fire, is a unifying force. People of all kinds and in all places look up to the same one light and are sustained by it. And though all manner of things can be fed into a fire, they become one homogeneous pile of ash – all differences rendered indistinguishable. The same is the case for Love.
The heart works best when it’s open. An open heart lets love and awareness through. An open heart is inclusive. But we’ve all closed our hearts many times. We do it as a reactive defense mechanism in order to not feel pain or other undesirable feelings. We do it whenever we refuse to accept some aspect of reality (like white supremacists or human trafficking, to name two of the hardest). Sometimes we believe it’s best not to feel at all – because that will make life easier or will make us strong and manly. So the heart remains mostly or entirely closed. Is it any wonder that the main cause of death is, essentially, closure of the heart and its vessels (we call this stroke, heart attack, and other forms of cardiovascular disease)?
The physical implications of closed hearts are relatively minor, though. The psychospiritual implications are where this habit hits us hardest. What are we left with when we exclude Love, Light, and Spirit from our lives? It’s like restricting ourselves to seeing just one color (it’s called Pantone 448 C, by the way). It makes us think of the world in terms of “us and them.” It causes us to focus on what’s wrong instead of what’s right. And it enables us to be willfully ignorant of the impacts of our choices on other humans and the planet (though not entirely ignorant – there's always a part of us that knows).
I believe the work of the heart (through the power of love) is absolute inclusion. Feel everything. Accept everything – even the things you’re working to change. Accept everyone – even those you condemn (they have something to teach you about your shadow). This is not an invitation to bypass the work before you. It’s a call to step into that work with an open heart.
If there’s something you don’t like about the world, or a person you find difficult, consider the likely outcome of rejecting or excluding them. How would you respond to being condemned? Like the sick foot, does this person heal through exclusion?
Find the parts of your kingdom (within and without) that you have excluded, and let your love rush into them. If there’s something you don’t like, begin with inclusion. Say, “I completely love, forgive, and accept myself – even though I have this {issue that I find objectionable}” or “I completely love, forgive, and accept you – even though I disagree with your views {or even condemn your actions}.” You may even find your heart saying, “Even though I must stop you from harming others, I completely love, forgive, and accept the essential being that you are, and I welcome the healing of your mind and the re-emergence of that essence.”
Saturate and envelop, and draw into your heart, the orphaned and rejected elements of yourself and the world. I believe this is our soul work; this is how we heal the world.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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