WP_Query Object
(
[query] => Array
(
[category__in] => Array
(
[0] => 67
[1] => 23
[2] => 66
[3] => 65
)
[post__not_in] => Array
(
[0] => 8647
)
[posts_per_page] => 50
[ignore_sticky_posts] => 1
[orderby] => desc
[_shuffle_and_pick] => 3
)
[query_vars] => Array
(
[category__in] => Array
(
[0] => 67
[1] => 23
[2] => 66
[3] => 65
)
[post__not_in] => Array
(
[0] => 8647
)
[posts_per_page] => 50
[ignore_sticky_posts] => 1
[orderby] => desc
[_shuffle_and_pick] => 3
[error] =>
[m] =>
[p] => 0
[post_parent] =>
[subpost] =>
[subpost_id] =>
[attachment] =>
[attachment_id] => 0
[name] =>
[pagename] =>
[page_id] => 0
[second] =>
[minute] =>
[hour] =>
[day] => 0
[monthnum] => 0
[year] => 0
[w] => 0
[category_name] => creative_living
[tag] =>
[cat] => 67
[tag_id] =>
[author] =>
[author_name] =>
[feed] =>
[tb] =>
[paged] => 0
[meta_key] =>
[meta_value] =>
[preview] =>
[s] =>
[sentence] =>
[title] =>
[fields] =>
[menu_order] =>
[embed] =>
[category__not_in] => Array
(
)
[category__and] => Array
(
)
[post__in] => Array
(
)
[post_name__in] => Array
(
)
[tag__in] => Array
(
)
[tag__not_in] => Array
(
)
[tag__and] => Array
(
)
[tag_slug__in] => Array
(
)
[tag_slug__and] => Array
(
)
[post_parent__in] => Array
(
)
[post_parent__not_in] => Array
(
)
[author__in] => Array
(
)
[author__not_in] => Array
(
)
[search_columns] => Array
(
)
[suppress_filters] =>
[cache_results] => 1
[update_post_term_cache] => 1
[update_menu_item_cache] =>
[lazy_load_term_meta] => 1
[update_post_meta_cache] => 1
[post_type] =>
[nopaging] =>
[comments_per_page] => 50
[no_found_rows] =>
[order] => DESC
)
[tax_query] => WP_Tax_Query Object
(
[queries] => Array
(
[0] => Array
(
[taxonomy] => category
[terms] => Array
(
[0] => 67
[1] => 23
[2] => 66
[3] => 65
)
[field] => term_id
[operator] => IN
[include_children] =>
)
)
[relation] => AND
[table_aliases:protected] => Array
(
[0] => wp_term_relationships
)
[queried_terms] => Array
(
[category] => Array
(
[terms] => Array
(
[0] => 67
[1] => 23
[2] => 66
[3] => 65
)
[field] => term_id
)
)
[primary_table] => wp_posts
[primary_id_column] => ID
)
[meta_query] => WP_Meta_Query Object
(
[queries] => Array
(
)
[relation] =>
[meta_table] =>
[meta_id_column] =>
[primary_table] =>
[primary_id_column] =>
[table_aliases:protected] => Array
(
)
[clauses:protected] => Array
(
)
[has_or_relation:protected] =>
)
[date_query] =>
[request] =>
SELECT SQL_CALC_FOUND_ROWS wp_posts.ID
FROM wp_posts LEFT JOIN wp_term_relationships ON (wp_posts.ID = wp_term_relationships.object_id)
WHERE 1=1 AND wp_posts.ID NOT IN (8647) AND (
wp_term_relationships.term_taxonomy_id IN (23,65,66,67)
) AND ((wp_posts.post_type = 'post' AND (wp_posts.post_status = 'publish' OR wp_posts.post_status = 'acf-disabled')))
AND ID NOT IN
(SELECT `post_id` FROM wp_postmeta
WHERE `meta_key` = '_pilotpress_level'
AND `meta_value` IN ('','employee')
AND `post_id` NOT IN
(SELECT `post_id` FROM wp_postmeta
WHERE `meta_key` = '_pilotpress_level'
AND `meta_value` IN ('' )))
GROUP BY wp_posts.ID
ORDER BY wp_posts.post_date DESC
LIMIT 0, 50
[posts] => Array
(
[0] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 8945
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2023-02-01 21:31:36
[post_date_gmt] => 2023-02-01 21:31:36
[post_content] =>
While I wouldn’t wish pain on anyone, I don’t always think it’s best to make it go away as fast as possible. Sometimes the need to manage pain takes us inward, prompting us to understand our workings and to heal longstanding patterns that might otherwise have never been discovered.
My starting point in pain management is a fundamental principle of Chinese Medicine: All pain is caused by stagnation. When things move freely (muscles, joints, blood, poop, etc.), we feel good. When they don’t, we feel bad.
If we overeat and food is stagnant in our digestive tract, we feel uncomfortable. If blood stops moving through the vessels in our heart, it causes a crushing pain. If our muscles are inflamed or tight (stagnation), they hurt. In the same way, if we broke up with someone but we keep fantasizing about them or replaying our conversations, this also is a form of stagnation, and it’s painful. If we’re attached to life being a certain way, it’s not that way, we don’t accept it, and we feel bad… guess why.
So, the restoration of flow is my focus, no matter what kind of pain a person is in. Besides understanding the mechanism of stagnation in causing and perpetuating pain, it’s important for everyone to know these four sub-principles:
1: All of our many parts are interconnected, so stagnation on one level can readily lead to stagnation on another level. Two examples: If we’re chronically angry, tense, or sad (emotional stagnation) this can eventually show up as, say, a tension headache or lower back pain (physical stagnation). Vice versa, living in a tight and inflexible body (physical stagnation) can contribute to a lack of mental flexibility - rigid thinking, frustration, depression, etc.
2: Clearing stagnation on any level tends to promote flow on all levels. For instance, physical exercise is beneficial for depression, because moving the body moves the mind. Likewise, using the mind to imagine energy and blood coursing freely through a painful area of the body can often be as effective as painkillers. For this reason, stretching the mind – challenging our beliefs, thinking outside our usual patterns, meditating, actively exploring our inner terrain – is excellent for mind-body health.
3: Resisting reality promotes stagnation. Philip K. Dick said, “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” Fighting reality amounts to inner resistance and resistance causes stagnation. In my opinion, it’s one of the most basic mechanisms of human pathology: an inner “no” that causes us to close and fragment ourselves. Resistance of what’s happening (not just our circumstances but also our own thoughts and feelings) causes an additional dimension of discomfort and hampers our ability to change our condition. In a pain scenario, the resistance of an already stagnant condition inevitably makes it worse.
4: Active acceptance is the opposite of resistance and promotes healing. Acceptance is a combination of willingness, openness, and nonattachment. When we’re totally willing to experience the reality of this moment, with every aspect of ourselves, with absolute openness and trust, simultaneously letting go entirely of any desire to control what happens next, healing happens automatically. It may not look like a tumor instantly disappearing or pain dropping from a ten to a zero, but something will change. This isn’t a do-it-once magic formula, it’s a way of life. And if pain is what leads you to it, you may end up thanking your pain.
If these ideas resonate with you, check out my online course, Live Pain Free, for many more ways to get out of pain and experience greater peace and happiness in the process.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => What Everyone Should Know About Pain
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => what-everyone-should-know-about-pain
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2023-02-01 21:31:36
[post_modified_gmt] => 2023-02-01 21:31:36
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8945
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 4
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[1] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 8843
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2022-10-20 20:44:44
[post_date_gmt] => 2022-10-20 20:44:44
[post_content] =>
As a young adult I often stayed at the beautiful Marin Headlands hostel just north of San Francisco. I was there one weekend while a large group of missionaries was passing through. We were all sharing the same kitchen space and I was chopping some broccoli when a cute young woman around my age approached me. We started talking and I thought it was going well. I have always enjoyed conversing about spirituality and religion, even with people of different beliefs than my own.
At the time I was immersed in learning about Advaita – nondualism – which was blowing my mind. Nondual philosophy asserts that, although we perceive many things that may feel separate, in reality everything is an expression of a single Oneness experiencing itself in infinite ways.
Some people call this Oneness God or Goddess or Source or Divine or Dao. What’s important isn’t the name but the experience of this connection, and how it redefines how we see reality.
I had in my suitcase a book called Aghora in which an eccentric spiritual teacher explains that since everything is God, both sex and eating are simply acts of “putting God into God.” So, when this missionary woman asked me what I was doing, I guess I thought I was being clever by replying, “Oh, just chopping up some God.”
She was clearly taken aback, so I explained that if the whole universe is an expression of one God, then broccoli was of course included, and therefore I was chopping up some God to put into God (myself). She was speechless for a moment, then said – a bit louder than was called for, I thought – “God is not broccoli!” and walked away.
There were several lessons for me in this story, starting with (1) nobody likes a smug person pushing their buttons, and (2) if you truly want to make a difference in the world you need to meet people where they are. But aside from my social failure, maybe the most important lesson was that there’s often a huge difference between the description of an experience and the experience itself. In other words, to understand something intellectually tells us nothing of how we’d be affected by experiencing it.
In lectures, I used to explain how physics seems to “prove” nondualism, hoping that even the nonspiritual types in the class would be won over. I’d point out that while each of us feels we’re separate from everyone else in the classroom, we and the world around us are all just different configurations of the same fundamental stuff – subatomic particles or even more fundamental fluctuations of energy. It’s a powerful idea, but I doubt it’s caused many people to conduct themselves differently towards their neighbors.
For me and most people I know, life changes have come through direct experiences of this Oneness in non-ordinary states of consciousness facilitated mainly by meditation, yoga, ritual, self-inquiry, immersion in nature, music, acupuncture, art, pain, dance, conscious breathing, interpersonal connection, and entheogenic substances. Ordinary reality (even with impressive-yet-unactualized spiritual concepts) appears random and soulless by comparison.
I didn’t have the chance to ask, “If God is not broccoli, what is broccoli?” We tend to draw vague, subjective lines around life and then deem one side worthy of our reverence and the other unworthy, but the abolition of such lines isn’t automatically liberating. I’ve seen people, myself included, latch onto the idea that everything is Divine and then fall into nihilism. Because, if it’s all God, why try? Why care? Why choose one path over any other?
This kind of thinking is a sure sign that we’re operating from a mental concept and not actually experiencing what it represents. It would be similar to take a psychedelic mushroom and hold it between your teeth, telling yourself, “So this is what psychedelic mushrooms are all about. Meh.”
Your homework is to determine whether or not broccoli is God. Since “God” is a spiritual concept, it can’t really be assessed in ordinary reality. Everyday thinking needs to fall away. You can get there using any of the approaches I mentioned above.
Be well,
Peter
P.S. I’d like to share one of my favorite quotes on nondualism from Tantra scholar Christopher Wallis in Tantra Illuminated (slightly abridged for space):
“Since reality is One, and everything is equally an expression of the one divine Light of Consciousness, every experience by definition is an experience of God… If we propose that some things are more God than others, like concentrated orange juice versus watered-down orange juice, then we must propose the existence of something that is not God that waters down divinity. But no such thing can be found, at least in this philosophy, because 1) the definition of God here is the unbounded Light of Consciousness, 2) everything that is known to exist is an object of experience, and 3) every experience is by definition pervaded by consciousness. Therefore, this – whatever is happening right now – is as God as it gets. Now, if you are in a miserable or banal life situation, you may be disappointed by this announcement. But notice I said, ‘This is as God as it gets,’ not, ‘This is as free as it gets.’ Freedom means actually experiencing the divinity in each moment.”
[post_title] => Is God Broccoli?
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => is-god-broccoli
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2022-10-27 18:08:32
[post_modified_gmt] => 2022-10-27 18:08:32
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8843
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 3
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[2] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 8719
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2022-08-04 19:40:47
[post_date_gmt] => 2022-08-04 19:40:47
[post_content] =>
In past articles I suggested that while it’s common to think that the essence of commitment is staying together no matter what, this is a pretty superficial interpretation. More meaningful is a commitment to a certain quality of relationship. What’s the value in saying “forever” if you’re not going to make it a wonderful forever?
If you’re in a committed relationship and are interested in improving it, it’s valuable to write about and discuss with your partner the qualities you’re committed to. If you’re not in a relationship but would like be in an ecstatic one, it’s useful to define these qualities beforehand. Below are some ideas to get you started.
Note that when I say “both people” in these examples, of course you can request that your partner agrees, but it’s important to begin with yourself. You and your partner are different people. If you’re fully participating and your partner isn’t on board with everything you’ve requested, let them explain what exactly they are willing to commit to. Then you can decide whether that works for you.
Be patient with them if you’ve never discussed ideas like these before. They may have some learning and catching up to do. Be tactful to help them understand that your interest in leveling-up the relationship doesn’t mean they’ve done something wrong.
Kindness – A basic starting point for a mutually beneficial relationship is that both people treat each other (and themselves) with kind words and actions. This includes being flexible, forgiving, and striving to understand. To start, take a single day to be acutely mindful of the kindness – or lack thereof – in your words, thoughts, and behaviors (with regard to your partner). This may help you to recognize the potential breadth of kindness.
Honesty – Honesty means more than not telling lies or keeping secrets. High level honesty in a relationship designed for growth and synergy entails a great deal of self-awareness. You must know what’s actually going on within you in order to be honest with your words and actions. Otherwise there’s dissonance. Dissonance doesn’t feel good. It may cause you to subconsciously blame the other person or resent the relationship, and your partner will likely perceive it as a lack of closeness.
Engagement – It’s natural to have times when we’re wrapped up in our work, family responsibilities, or personal pursuits, with little left to invest in the relationship. A healthy relationship can withstand this, though not indefinitely. In order to get the most out of a relationship, both people must routinely (and enthusiastically) invest time, energy, and presence in it. If you’re finding yourself averse to doing so, return to Honesty and figure out what’s actually going on.
Mutuality – It may sound obvious that both people should aim to see and include the other as an equal, conscious being, but it’s exceedingly common to relate to a partner (or anyone else we know) through the internal mental representation we’ve created of them based on past interactions and judgments. In this way, we may treat each other more like objects than vessels of consciousness, light, and love. We may unconsciously regard them as an obstacle, or a thing that serves to give us something or make us happy. (Refer to last week’s article for some direction on authentic relating.)
Maturity – Living in an adult-size body doesn’t have much to do with maturity. Relationships can be great facilitators of growing up (which, by the way, doesn’t mean being serious, rigid, or boring). A commitment to maturity in a relationship might mean that both parties endeavor to show up as responsible adults; doing our best not to let our inner child run us (and being honest about when it is); not blaming the other for our own stuff; not playing parent to our partner; being transparent, brave, and communicative.
Integrity – In a relationship of integrity, we aim to keep our agreements with ourselves and our partner. We are consistent. We are trustworthy. We strive to maintain harmony between who we are and who we say we want to be. Finally, we do these things not out of a feeling of obligation but with a spirit of rising to the occasion.
I hope this article has given you some ideas of the sorts of qualities you wish to commit to in current or future relationships. I can barely imagine the great ways the world would change if we all made such conscious commitments.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Relationship Repair Part Three: Choose Qualities to Commit To
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => relationship-repair-part-three-choose-qualities-to-commit-to
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2022-08-04 19:40:47
[post_modified_gmt] => 2022-08-04 19:40:47
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8719
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 0
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
)
[post_count] => 3
[current_post] => -1
[before_loop] => 1
[in_the_loop] =>
[post] => WP_Post Object
(
[ID] => 8945
[post_author] => 3
[post_date] => 2023-02-01 21:31:36
[post_date_gmt] => 2023-02-01 21:31:36
[post_content] =>
While I wouldn’t wish pain on anyone, I don’t always think it’s best to make it go away as fast as possible. Sometimes the need to manage pain takes us inward, prompting us to understand our workings and to heal longstanding patterns that might otherwise have never been discovered.
My starting point in pain management is a fundamental principle of Chinese Medicine: All pain is caused by stagnation. When things move freely (muscles, joints, blood, poop, etc.), we feel good. When they don’t, we feel bad.
If we overeat and food is stagnant in our digestive tract, we feel uncomfortable. If blood stops moving through the vessels in our heart, it causes a crushing pain. If our muscles are inflamed or tight (stagnation), they hurt. In the same way, if we broke up with someone but we keep fantasizing about them or replaying our conversations, this also is a form of stagnation, and it’s painful. If we’re attached to life being a certain way, it’s not that way, we don’t accept it, and we feel bad… guess why.
So, the restoration of flow is my focus, no matter what kind of pain a person is in. Besides understanding the mechanism of stagnation in causing and perpetuating pain, it’s important for everyone to know these four sub-principles:
1: All of our many parts are interconnected, so stagnation on one level can readily lead to stagnation on another level. Two examples: If we’re chronically angry, tense, or sad (emotional stagnation) this can eventually show up as, say, a tension headache or lower back pain (physical stagnation). Vice versa, living in a tight and inflexible body (physical stagnation) can contribute to a lack of mental flexibility - rigid thinking, frustration, depression, etc.
2: Clearing stagnation on any level tends to promote flow on all levels. For instance, physical exercise is beneficial for depression, because moving the body moves the mind. Likewise, using the mind to imagine energy and blood coursing freely through a painful area of the body can often be as effective as painkillers. For this reason, stretching the mind – challenging our beliefs, thinking outside our usual patterns, meditating, actively exploring our inner terrain – is excellent for mind-body health.
3: Resisting reality promotes stagnation. Philip K. Dick said, “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” Fighting reality amounts to inner resistance and resistance causes stagnation. In my opinion, it’s one of the most basic mechanisms of human pathology: an inner “no” that causes us to close and fragment ourselves. Resistance of what’s happening (not just our circumstances but also our own thoughts and feelings) causes an additional dimension of discomfort and hampers our ability to change our condition. In a pain scenario, the resistance of an already stagnant condition inevitably makes it worse.
4: Active acceptance is the opposite of resistance and promotes healing. Acceptance is a combination of willingness, openness, and nonattachment. When we’re totally willing to experience the reality of this moment, with every aspect of ourselves, with absolute openness and trust, simultaneously letting go entirely of any desire to control what happens next, healing happens automatically. It may not look like a tumor instantly disappearing or pain dropping from a ten to a zero, but something will change. This isn’t a do-it-once magic formula, it’s a way of life. And if pain is what leads you to it, you may end up thanking your pain.
If these ideas resonate with you, check out my online course, Live Pain Free, for many more ways to get out of pain and experience greater peace and happiness in the process.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => What Everyone Should Know About Pain
[post_excerpt] =>
[post_status] => publish
[comment_status] => open
[ping_status] => open
[post_password] =>
[post_name] => what-everyone-should-know-about-pain
[to_ping] =>
[pinged] =>
[post_modified] => 2023-02-01 21:31:36
[post_modified_gmt] => 2023-02-01 21:31:36
[post_content_filtered] =>
[post_parent] => 0
[guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8945
[menu_order] => 0
[post_type] => post
[post_mime_type] =>
[comment_count] => 4
[filter] => raw
[webinar_id] => 0
)
[comment_count] => 0
[current_comment] => -1
[found_posts] => 304
[max_num_pages] => 7
[max_num_comment_pages] => 0
[is_single] =>
[is_preview] =>
[is_page] =>
[is_archive] => 1
[is_date] =>
[is_year] =>
[is_month] =>
[is_day] =>
[is_time] =>
[is_author] =>
[is_category] => 1
[is_tag] =>
[is_tax] =>
[is_search] =>
[is_feed] =>
[is_comment_feed] =>
[is_trackback] =>
[is_home] =>
[is_privacy_policy] =>
[is_404] =>
[is_embed] =>
[is_paged] =>
[is_admin] =>
[is_attachment] =>
[is_singular] =>
[is_robots] =>
[is_favicon] =>
[is_posts_page] =>
[is_post_type_archive] =>
[query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => 6ba55c59c79e5b686416af08ac88e638
[query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] =>
[thumbnails_cached] =>
[allow_query_attachment_by_filename:protected] =>
[stopwords:WP_Query:private] =>
[compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => query_vars_hash
[1] => query_vars_changed
)
[compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array
(
[0] => init_query_flags
[1] => parse_tax_query
)
)
Cart
