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I believe we need about 364 more celebrations of Thanksgiving in a year, and not because we need more reasons to overeat and watch football. Giving thanks is good for us. Need some proven reasons? Here they are.
- It makes you happier. Numerous studies have shown that expressing gratitude, journaling about what we're grateful for, and paying attention to the good things in our lives makes us feel more happy.
- It improves your relationships. Being aware of what we’re thankful for makes us more helpful and understanding. People who express gratitude for their partner feel more positively about that person. They also tend to feel more comfortable about expressing relationship concerns (so they can get worked out!).
- It increases your self-esteem. A practice of feeling appreciative for our live circumstances tends to make us feel better about ourselves.
- It reduces depression and anxiety. Simply taking the time to write about what they were grateful for resulted in lower rates of depression and anxiety in study participants – even 12 weeks later.
- It enhances brain function. Gratitude exercises have been shown to cause a lasting activation of a part of the brain called the medial prefrontal cortex, associated with higher thought and increased sensitivity.
- It makes you appear more trustworthy to others. When someone regularly expresses gratitude, others interpret this to indicate they are trustworthy and this strengthens social connections.
- It makes you more resilient. When we focus on what we’re thankful for, even during times of hardship, it reinforces feelings of self-trust and helps us to remember the blessings that can’t be lost or taken away.
- It expands the spiritual dimension of your life. Gratitude practices tend to strengthen our spiritual connection, probably because they prompt us to listen, look, and feel more deeply. They may attune us to a benevolent higher power that’s looking out for us, give us perspective of the path we’re on, and help us to see the goodness in what seems unfortunate on the surface.
- It makes you more generous. When we routinely express gratitude, we’re less self-centered and more giving.
- It lowers blood pressure, enhances your sleep, increases your likelihood of exercising, and improves overall health. Don’t put all your eggs in this basket, but regular expressions of gratitude support modest physical health gains.
- It diminishes the weight of your burdens. Focusing on what we appreciate has the simultaneous effect of lessening the intensity of whatever we’re struggling with.
Besides whatever special gains a gratitude practice may have, I feel there’s one main reason to do it, and that’s because life is a gift and each of us has the power to choose how we relate to it. Expressing gratitude is an act of cutting through the illusions that tell us otherwise. It’s about fiercely claiming this truth. It’s about claiming your light and shining it brightly.
Among many other things, I am grateful for all of you who have supported us. I’m grateful to have this forum to explore topics of depth in health, nature, and spirituality. And I’m grateful to be able to do my work in this way and have a positive impact on others’ lives.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Focus on the Good
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During a particularly hard break-up in my 20s, a friend advised me, “The more present you are during this process, the bigger the present you’ll get out of it.” And though I barely understood what that meant, I gave it a try and an odd thing happened. I saw that I was choosing the big, dramatic grieving process I was going through. And that meant it was optional.
In The Art of Presence, Eckhart Tolle says, “Through thought you cannot possibly grasp what presence is.” But he gives some clues to point us in the right direction. He says it’s there, “when you’re not thinking about the last moment, or looking to the next one.” And he uses phrases like “a state of relaxed alertness” and “a spacious stillness,” to describe it.
Thich Nhat Hanh said, “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.”
Our presence is tremendously rare and hugely valuable. Especially in this age of epidemic distraction, it’s increasingly difficult and uncommon to choose a voluntary time-out from technology, data, and our own mental analysis. But unlike the artificial value of a coin that accidentally got stamped with a head on both sides, our presence can do for us what nothing else can. And we can make it more abundant by simply choosing it.
Although it may not put food in our belly, most other problems disappear with presence. The need to fix or relive the past disappears. The need to avoid certain unwanted events in the future disappears. Even if we're working on something now that will benefit us in the future, with our presence, we work on it now in order to work on it now. And that’s enough.
The allure of distraction, which so often threatens our presence, dissolves when we practice being present. Do you know the word obviate? I like to write using words that almost everyone understands, but there’s only one word I can think of that means “to make unnecessary,” and that word is obviate. Learning to deepen our presence obviates the urge for distraction and mental departure from our current reality.
With presence, we perceive all kinds of intelligence and detail that we’re otherwise deaf and blind to. We know when to eat and when to stop eating. We know how to move our body in a way that doesn’t cause pain or injury. Our work becomes more interesting. Our relationships become healthier. We listen better and we feel heard.
With two kids, my presence is requested almost incessantly. I hear the word Papa at least 100 times a day. Often, I hear it ten or more times in quick succession. We all yearn for someone’s total presence with us. These are the moments of connection between what is the same in both of us. Presence uncovers what’s real in this moment. And that’s refreshing, exciting, and affirming.
When we’re all so busy that we see time as a commodity, it can seem that giving our presence to someone else is like giving away our treasure. But are we actually giving something away?
Of course not. When we “give” our presence we gain the present. To withhold our presence means both we and the other person miss out.
So, how can you learn to be more present? It takes practice. If you’re new to this, I don’t recommend making a goal like, “I’m going to be more present from now on.” I don’t want to discourage you, I just want you to be realistic about what you’re up against – a lifetime of habits and a sea of tantalizing distractions.
Try something a bit less ambitious, such as this: Once a day, as you begin some activity – whether it’s buying groceries, playing Candyland, eating a meal, and listening to a friend’s problems – select this activity as an exercise in presence. In your mind, identify what exactly you’re doing – “I’m vacuuming the floor” – and devote yourself to that. Don’t run away in the middle of the activity. This means don’t pick up your phone, don’t depart in your mind to explore other thoughts and ideas, don’t visit the past, don’t anticipate what’s next, don’t judge. Just dwell in the present. Be saturated by the present. Feel everything. Accept everything. And let each next moment come.
Over time, quicker than you might think, you’ll start regaining your attention. You’ll be able to focus on something for more than five seconds. You’ll begin to yearn for this, which will make your practice much easier. And as you start willingly selecting more and more moments to be completely present, you’ll experience an unending offering of presents.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => A Free Pile of Presents Just for You
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[post_content] => In this video, Briana offers context and tips for cleanly and responsibly sharing energy with others - while maintaining your own energy field to prevent fatigue, confusion, and other murky things that can happen when we intermix energy fields with others and lose track of our boundaries.
Feel free to join in a conversation with Briana about this in the comments below!
[post_title] => Conversations with Briana: Being "Clean" with Your Energy
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I believe we need about 364 more celebrations of Thanksgiving in a year, and not because we need more reasons to overeat and watch football. Giving thanks is good for us. Need some proven reasons? Here they are.
- It makes you happier. Numerous studies have shown that expressing gratitude, journaling about what we're grateful for, and paying attention to the good things in our lives makes us feel more happy.
- It improves your relationships. Being aware of what we’re thankful for makes us more helpful and understanding. People who express gratitude for their partner feel more positively about that person. They also tend to feel more comfortable about expressing relationship concerns (so they can get worked out!).
- It increases your self-esteem. A practice of feeling appreciative for our live circumstances tends to make us feel better about ourselves.
- It reduces depression and anxiety. Simply taking the time to write about what they were grateful for resulted in lower rates of depression and anxiety in study participants – even 12 weeks later.
- It enhances brain function. Gratitude exercises have been shown to cause a lasting activation of a part of the brain called the medial prefrontal cortex, associated with higher thought and increased sensitivity.
- It makes you appear more trustworthy to others. When someone regularly expresses gratitude, others interpret this to indicate they are trustworthy and this strengthens social connections.
- It makes you more resilient. When we focus on what we’re thankful for, even during times of hardship, it reinforces feelings of self-trust and helps us to remember the blessings that can’t be lost or taken away.
- It expands the spiritual dimension of your life. Gratitude practices tend to strengthen our spiritual connection, probably because they prompt us to listen, look, and feel more deeply. They may attune us to a benevolent higher power that’s looking out for us, give us perspective of the path we’re on, and help us to see the goodness in what seems unfortunate on the surface.
- It makes you more generous. When we routinely express gratitude, we’re less self-centered and more giving.
- It lowers blood pressure, enhances your sleep, increases your likelihood of exercising, and improves overall health. Don’t put all your eggs in this basket, but regular expressions of gratitude support modest physical health gains.
- It diminishes the weight of your burdens. Focusing on what we appreciate has the simultaneous effect of lessening the intensity of whatever we’re struggling with.
Besides whatever special gains a gratitude practice may have, I feel there’s one main reason to do it, and that’s because life is a gift and each of us has the power to choose how we relate to it. Expressing gratitude is an act of cutting through the illusions that tell us otherwise. It’s about fiercely claiming this truth. It’s about claiming your light and shining it brightly.
Among many other things, I am grateful for all of you who have supported us. I’m grateful to have this forum to explore topics of depth in health, nature, and spirituality. And I’m grateful to be able to do my work in this way and have a positive impact on others’ lives.
Be well,
Peter
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