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(This is an “oldie but goodie” that went out in the Dragontree newsletter 15 years ago.)
Part of The Dragontree’s mission statement is, “To seed our community with centered, peaceful, and healthy people.” For those who wish to actively pursue this goal, one of the most challenging and life-changing assignments is a “drama fast.” We suggest you try it for single day to begin.
Our social programming, through family, community, and media, teaches us some useful things – such as how to relate to other people and be productive in the world – and some not so useful things – such as how to generate and spread drama. The world tells us in many ways that there is something to be gained by dramatizing our life circumstances. You can feel the energy in it. So, the idea of a life without the drama might sound boring or even inhuman. But in most cases the dramatization of reality (which often means focusing on conflict) degrades our experiences.
The true and rich facts of our lives are rendered into black and white through dramatization. We lose resolution and gain resistance and negative judgment. Perhaps more detrimental than the negative judgement is the way our dramas disempower us by causing us to surrender our vision and power of choice.
Our greatest, most fundamental power is to choose our point of view about life. Our lives, no matter how great or tragic by society’s standards, are ultimately only ours to judge. If you’ve ever met a person who is simply imperturbable, who’s able to stay hopeful and positive no matter what, you’ve known someone who fully embraces their power of choice.
For any given situation, we can choose a wide range of viewpoints. The situation doesn’t dictate our response. These viewpoints can be distilled to three basic categories:
- A point of view that acknowledges the facts and remains completely neutral
- A point of view that degrades our or others’ experience of the situation (e.g., by subtracting personal power and adding blame, resentment, shame, victimization, guilt, etc.)
- A point of view that enhances the situation for oneself and/or others (e.g., by spotting opportunity, expressing gratitude, remaining open, etc.)
The purpose of a drama fast is to promote the choice of viewpoints that fall into categories one and three.
Every human has the ability to regard whatever life brings us in an inner atmosphere of light – meaning, illumination, weightlessness, and clarity. This isn’t to say we should never experience sadness or anger, but that we can experience these emotions without shutting down or letting them override our power of choice. Experienced in our inner light, negative thoughts and emotions don’t damage us, and the natural impulse of contraction they tend to cause is usually brief and followed by an expansion.
Taking a fast from drama is about responsibility (not blame) – owning the way you shape your own experience of life and the effect you have on others. We don’t usually consciously intend to degrade our experiences, but the urge to be dramatic is sometimes so insidious we don’t notice it. It frequently arises when things don’t go the way we want them to (whether it’s simply the flow of our day or the overall socio-politco-environmental trajectory of the planet). While disappointment feels like an energetic slump, turning it into a drama – even if it means we’re the victim – brings a certain dynamism to it and makes it a better story that enrolls us and others.
During a drama fast, try to catch yourself falling in this habit and focus your attention instead on being a master of cleanness (stick to the facts, don’t share dirt), focusing on the good, and finding solutions. Though it may not always seem possible, the simplest solution is to just let it go. Letting go of an upset isn’t always a matter of saying, “I’m letting this go,” and then you’re done with it permanently. You must be committed to letting it go. If you notice you’ve picked up the upset again, just purposefully let it go again without analyzing it. It’s not just a benefit to you; it’s actually a valuable community service.
Drama is often used to identify unfavorable things about others to either help us feel superior by comparison, or to distract others from noticing our own flaws. But have you noticed that the folks who never engage in drama tend to exude calm and confidence? While one might think that the calm and confidence are a prerequisite to not being dramatic, it’s really a choice anyone can make at any time: “I choose not to degrade my own – or others’ – experiences.”
Fasting from drama means changing your inner conversation, noticing when you're indulging in drama, and choosing cleanness again. The same goes for outer conversations. Before you share, you can always ask yourself, is it true? is it necessary? is it kind? And finally, what is my purpose?
What can you do when conversing with someone who is “revving up the drama”? If you feel you can’t be in their presence without getting wrapped up in it, you may just have to excuse yourself. While it may feel unsupportive, staying and validating or even feeding their drama won’t really serve them.
If you’re up for staying, you can enhance the situation compassionately. Here are some approaches to try:
- What happens when you become a neutralizing container for their experience, listening without feeding it?
- What happens when you practice being the embodiment of calm clarity?
- What happens when you remind them of their power to choose their perspective?
- When happens when you gently ask them to give you the facts without any interpretation?
- What happens when you simply see them as their highest Self, rising above this story?
- What happens when you remind and redirect them to the path they were on before the drama derailed them?
Imagine how the world could change if we practiced this. Let’s all do this for a single day. If you like how it goes, consider devoting another day.
Be well,
Peter
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Do you feel you have lost your bliss lately? You keep looking for it, hoping to find it somewhere. Nope….it’s not in the bottom of your laundry basket…..I looked in the closet too…..I can’t find it anywhere. Life can get pretty crazy. The demands of work, school, kids, social engagements and the mundane day to day tasks can sure make all the Zen in your life seem like it has gone M.I.A.
Zen, bliss or “your happy place” can be so many different things, objects or people. Maybe your Zen is petting your cat, laughing with a friend, taking a hike or just sitting quietly staring at a wall. (Hey I don’t judge) It’s important to make those things a priority. Finding some bliss is good for your soul and your health by lowing stress levels and releasing feel good endorphins. Not only does this lower stress but it will help you become more present in life. It’s like a little nap for your soul.
Whatever it is, I encourage you to make time to “Zen” out. Take moments to breathe, clear your mind, relax and just be.
If you need a little help in this department we have several bliss experts at The Dragontree. Whether you come in for a foot soak, massage, facial or just stop by to chat, walking in the door is sure to bring you some peace. Schedule your bliss today.
-Christy (Back of House Manager, The Dragontree NW)
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Last week Briana and I had a deeply gratifying experience. We led the first training of our advanced life coaches – we call them “Illuminators” – and it went amazingly well. They really lived up to their name.
Even before we developed the curriculum we had a sense that these people would be “emissaries of light” – shining light into their communities, seeing the light in their clients and calling it forth.
They were already a bunch of bright souls when they arrived, but the processes we did together helped them shed whatever veils may have been dimming their light, and they were truly luminous by the end of our time together. The biggest overall shift for the group probably happened during the breath work we did together – a technique known as “conscious breathing.”
Through simply breathing into all parts of themselves, many of our students were able to gain clarity on longstanding problems or release decades of pain. Some asked how it was possible that such dramatic transformation could be possible just through breathing. First, it’s worth pointing out that there were a few other factors: There was a safe, loving space being held by Briana and me, by our helpers, and by all the participants. There was an atmosphere of trust and an intention to heal and grow. There was music. (We should never underestimate the power of music to affect us and promote opening.) These factors amounted to a ritual – a container with a stated purpose – rather than just a bunch of people breathing.
Finally, there was the breath itself. To me, it makes perfect sense that we should all possess a profound tool for healing. The way we breathe can alter our circulation. It can change our thinking and shift our mood. It can alleviate pain. It can open our awareness to parts of ourselves that we’ve kept hidden. Plus, it’s free and it’s always available.
This is an especially good time of year to remember your breath because autumn is the season associated with the lungs in Chinese Medicine. It’s also a phase when we’re prompted to let go, like all the trees around us. Fall is such an apt name, since the sun falls to a lower arc in the sky, the leaves fall, and there’s a natural decline of light and energy around us. It’s common to feel a little somber at this time. But if we stay mindful and don’t cling to what’s changing – instead just breathing through it, watching it, feeling it without resistance, noticing its beauty – it can be a graceful process that helps us to go deep inside ourselves. During a period that may seem like a loss, there’s an opportunity to become keenly aware of what can never be lost. And every breath offers the same opportunity.
So, the next time you’re struggling with an unpleasant thought or emotion, I encourage you to try breathing into it. Take just a minute to drop into your body. While focusing on this thought or emotion, see what feeling arises in your body. Invite it to be here, even if it’s unpleasant. Try to get a sense of its shape, its weight, perhaps even its color or texture, and then take a breath into that feeling. Imagine it inflating and deflating with your breath. Stay with it for a few breaths and notice what happens. Does it change? Does it call you to look at something within yourself? Can you be brave and see where it takes you?
If you have a little more time, you could try taking ten to twenty connected breaths into whatever pain or problem is on your mind. It’s sort of like a mini-cleanse. Lie down on your back without a pillow. Set an intention to open this issue and receive clarity on it – or just to be energized and cleansed.
Inhale fully, letting the breath fill your belly first and then your chest. At the end of the inhale, without pausing, let the breath immediately fall out of your lungs (rather than pushing it out). At the end of the exhale, again without pausing, immediately start the next inhale (belly to chest). When you’ve inhaled fully, without pausing, let the breath immediately fall out of your lungs again. And so on. As you breathe, imagine that you’re drawing light or universal life energy into yourself, pulling it deep into every cell, into all parts of your consciousness, and into any hidden nooks and crannies.
This style of breathing is called “connected breathing” because each inhale is connected to the next exhale, which is connected to the next inhale, without any pausing or holding. You can do this form of breathing either through your nose or your mouth. Mouth breathing tends to be stronger, and may have a greater ability to help you access old information and emotions. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that on your own, have a friend join you, or stick to nose breathing. After ten to twenty breaths, return to normal breathing. Since you’ll be hyperventilating, it’s possible to feel a little woozy, so stay reclined until the feeling passes. Notice what shifts or arises as a result of this opening process. Are there parts of you calling for even more opening, or even more light?
Meanwhile, during this season of diminishing light, I encourage all of us to consciously notice all the light that remains. When we pay attention to it, it grows. Not just sunlight, lightbulbs, and candles, but also the moments of grace that appear – like the flipping of a light switch that brings insight during a time of confusion. And the luminous people we encounter, who brighten our day. And most importantly, the light within ourselves – our inner Illuminator – that fuels our passion and lets us see through the drama to the deeper story of love throughout our world.
Be well,
Peter
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(This is an “oldie but goodie” that went out in the Dragontree newsletter 15 years ago.)
Part of The Dragontree’s mission statement is, “To seed our community with centered, peaceful, and healthy people.” For those who wish to actively pursue this goal, one of the most challenging and life-changing assignments is a “drama fast.” We suggest you try it for single day to begin.
Our social programming, through family, community, and media, teaches us some useful things – such as how to relate to other people and be productive in the world – and some not so useful things – such as how to generate and spread drama. The world tells us in many ways that there is something to be gained by dramatizing our life circumstances. You can feel the energy in it. So, the idea of a life without the drama might sound boring or even inhuman. But in most cases the dramatization of reality (which often means focusing on conflict) degrades our experiences.
The true and rich facts of our lives are rendered into black and white through dramatization. We lose resolution and gain resistance and negative judgment. Perhaps more detrimental than the negative judgement is the way our dramas disempower us by causing us to surrender our vision and power of choice.
Our greatest, most fundamental power is to choose our point of view about life. Our lives, no matter how great or tragic by society’s standards, are ultimately only ours to judge. If you’ve ever met a person who is simply imperturbable, who’s able to stay hopeful and positive no matter what, you’ve known someone who fully embraces their power of choice.
For any given situation, we can choose a wide range of viewpoints. The situation doesn’t dictate our response. These viewpoints can be distilled to three basic categories:
- A point of view that acknowledges the facts and remains completely neutral
- A point of view that degrades our or others’ experience of the situation (e.g., by subtracting personal power and adding blame, resentment, shame, victimization, guilt, etc.)
- A point of view that enhances the situation for oneself and/or others (e.g., by spotting opportunity, expressing gratitude, remaining open, etc.)
The purpose of a drama fast is to promote the choice of viewpoints that fall into categories one and three.
Every human has the ability to regard whatever life brings us in an inner atmosphere of light – meaning, illumination, weightlessness, and clarity. This isn’t to say we should never experience sadness or anger, but that we can experience these emotions without shutting down or letting them override our power of choice. Experienced in our inner light, negative thoughts and emotions don’t damage us, and the natural impulse of contraction they tend to cause is usually brief and followed by an expansion.
Taking a fast from drama is about responsibility (not blame) – owning the way you shape your own experience of life and the effect you have on others. We don’t usually consciously intend to degrade our experiences, but the urge to be dramatic is sometimes so insidious we don’t notice it. It frequently arises when things don’t go the way we want them to (whether it’s simply the flow of our day or the overall socio-politco-environmental trajectory of the planet). While disappointment feels like an energetic slump, turning it into a drama – even if it means we’re the victim – brings a certain dynamism to it and makes it a better story that enrolls us and others.
During a drama fast, try to catch yourself falling in this habit and focus your attention instead on being a master of cleanness (stick to the facts, don’t share dirt), focusing on the good, and finding solutions. Though it may not always seem possible, the simplest solution is to just let it go. Letting go of an upset isn’t always a matter of saying, “I’m letting this go,” and then you’re done with it permanently. You must be committed to letting it go. If you notice you’ve picked up the upset again, just purposefully let it go again without analyzing it. It’s not just a benefit to you; it’s actually a valuable community service.
Drama is often used to identify unfavorable things about others to either help us feel superior by comparison, or to distract others from noticing our own flaws. But have you noticed that the folks who never engage in drama tend to exude calm and confidence? While one might think that the calm and confidence are a prerequisite to not being dramatic, it’s really a choice anyone can make at any time: “I choose not to degrade my own – or others’ – experiences.”
Fasting from drama means changing your inner conversation, noticing when you're indulging in drama, and choosing cleanness again. The same goes for outer conversations. Before you share, you can always ask yourself, is it true? is it necessary? is it kind? And finally, what is my purpose?
What can you do when conversing with someone who is “revving up the drama”? If you feel you can’t be in their presence without getting wrapped up in it, you may just have to excuse yourself. While it may feel unsupportive, staying and validating or even feeding their drama won’t really serve them.
If you’re up for staying, you can enhance the situation compassionately. Here are some approaches to try:
- What happens when you become a neutralizing container for their experience, listening without feeding it?
- What happens when you practice being the embodiment of calm clarity?
- What happens when you remind them of their power to choose their perspective?
- When happens when you gently ask them to give you the facts without any interpretation?
- What happens when you simply see them as their highest Self, rising above this story?
- What happens when you remind and redirect them to the path they were on before the drama derailed them?
Imagine how the world could change if we practiced this. Let’s all do this for a single day. If you like how it goes, consider devoting another day.
Be well,
Peter
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