One of my wife’s most startling and magical discoveries was when, in her 30s, she happened upon a forgotten diary from her early teens in which she had written very descriptively about the dream life she wanted as an adult. It turned out that nearly all these things had come true, right down to having a husband who’s usually good-looking and quite a strong writer.

In the years since, we’ve pondered this phenomenon extensively – especially during the development of our Dreambook – which was partly an effort to teach others to be equally magical in their own creation process. 

Was Briana just unusually clear about what she wanted and unusually effective at pursuing it? Perhaps, but I believe this is a learnable skill. 

First, there was vision. She was able to conceive of a different reality than her present circumstances and get really clear and vivid about it. 

Second, there was belief. She believed all of this was possible

Third, I would venture to say that she didn’t have a substantial burden of counter-beliefs. Of course, these two – belief in oneself and lack of self-opposition – are inseparable, but I’d like to spell it out just for fun. Not only was she clear about what she wanted, and not only did she believe she could have it, but also there wasn’t much self-defeating gunk to get in the way. 

I’d like to digress here for a moment to share this idea in a broader way. These second and third points are one expression of the fundamental dichotomy I see in the process of healing and self-awareness: the clearing of gunk (to use the technical term) and the installation of virtue. 

You can gorge yourself on virtue (e.g., handfuls of supplements, stacks of self-help books, direct transmission from your guru, etc.) but if there’s too much gunk in your system, it won’t take hold. Likewise, you can cleanse your body, release your trauma, quit TikTok, and clear your self-deprecating thoughts, but without a simultaneous influx of virtue to stabilize the vacuum, new gunk will take its place. These two must go hand in hand. Clean house and invite fresh air and light in. 

Fourth, she wrote it down. It’s a bit of magic, and I hope I don’t lose you here, but in the continuum between thoughts and objective reality, it sure is helpful to put your ideas into specific words and scribe them on an actual piece of paper. If you can’t find pen and paper, ketchup and tree bark will work, but I encourage you to not substitute making such important words on a computer/phone screen. 

One of the reasons I believe the Dreambook has been so successful as a tool for positive life changes is that it involves so much writing about the life you’re creating. The first part of the book has you write about your gifts, your purpose, and your values; the things that light you up and make life good; and your ideal future life, covering dozens of different facets of one’s internal and external world. 

Then, every single week, you write about your intention and priorities for the coming week; you write about what you gained and how you grew from the previous week; you write about how you intend to reframe something that’s challenging or painful; and you write about how you will create more freedom in the coming week. This isn’t a major time commitment – just a few sentences to keep yourself, your word, and your power aligned. And that’s enough to make miracles. 

Wishing you the life of your dreams, 

Dr. Peter Borten