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[post_content] => When my wife says I’m the only person she knows who could happily curl up in bed with a 20-pound medical text, I like to point out that I also enjoy books on philosophy. It’s been at least a decade since I’ve read a work of fiction (except to my kids), but I find nonfiction so fascinating, and it constantly challenges my worldview. I know most people find these subjects dry and heady, so I try to tackle them in our newsletters with the aim of making them more accessible and digestible.
Today I’d like to share some thoughts on one of these dry topics – the philosophy of nondualism. Wait, don’t leave! I promise I’ll make it interesting – controversial even. Just bear with me. It might even change the way you see the world.
In a nutshell, nondualism is the notion that everything is essentially one – that all the apparent differences and separation we perceive in the world are an illusion.
Nondual philosophy has many different forms; I can’t deliver a comprehensive analysis in an article this short. Instead, I’ll speak to the perspective of a single Eastern source – Tantra Illuminated by Christopher Wallis – and a single Western source – A Course in Miracles (ACIM) by Helen Schucman.
The first is a study of Tantra, a group of spiritual traditions that arose mainly between 300 and 1300 A.D. They had a significant impact on the development of yoga, Hinduism, and Buddhism. And I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but “tantric sex” is the tiniest fraction of what Tantra comprises.
The second, which might be understood as nondual Christianity, was written by an American in the 1960s and 70s and is presented as a “channeled” work dictated by Jesus.
Though seemingly very different, these two traditions actually have a lot in common. And what they share is a perspective that would alleviate a lot of suffering if it were more widely known.
Both schools of thought focus on discovering the unity within all the apparent differences in the world. They say that when we see a world where some things are godly and others aren’t, where good and evil, wealth and poverty, sickness and health, virtue and sin, life and death, and a host of other “dualities” yank us around and define our experience of life, we’re wrapped up in a dream that obscures the real truth.
And that truth, they assert, is that all things are an expression of one Consciousness (God, Spirit, Universe, Divine Light, Highest Self, or whatever other word you care to use), which is synonymous with Love. These systems hold that everyone and all things are connected, equal expressions of God, and there is nothing to fear and no reason to suffer.
ACIM often pushes non-Christians’ buttons by using terms like Jesus, Christ, and Holy Spirit. For me, raised Jewish, the terminology presented some hurdles at first, but it gets easier the more I recognize that these names – as well as those of most other traditions – are all pointing to the same thing.
ACIM also pushes Christians’ buttons because much of what it teaches flies in the face of Christian dogma. It states that God isn’t outside of us or different than us. It holds that there is no duality of heaven and hell; only heaven is real and we’re either conscious of it or lost in stories of our own making. It says there is no sin – only mistakes made out of confusion. It claims that God doesn’t forgive – because God doesn’t condemn.
Despite these potential objections, I feel it’s a worthwhile study in Western nondualism. It might be a more natural leap for someone with a background in an Abrahamic religion (Judaism, Christianity, Islam are the main three) rather than adopting a completely foreign Eastern nondual tradition. However, some find the reframing of deeply entrenched Abrahamic concepts too difficult to swallow, or the terminology too loaded, making the Eastern traditions something of a clean slate in comparison.
Central to ACIM’s narrative is the idea that you sought to break apart from God, to be independent, and in so doing, you gave your power to your ego. (This might be likened to the biblical story of eating from the Tree of Knowledge, whereupon the mind was given authority and we lost the “Eden” state of consciousness.) The ego protects this idea of independence by asserting that the world is a place of separation, where everything is disconnected, where all things are in competition, and pain, suffering, and loneliness threaten us.
The perpetuation of this dream depends on the ego’s continually empowering itself by generating conflict – with the world and yourself. Meanwhile, the belief that you cut yourself off from your Highest Self (keep substituting words you like) is a source of deep self-blame, which you also project onto the world and its inhabitants.
The primary means of resolving this dilemma, the Course teaches, is forgiveness. By forgiving yourself and everyone else, conflict dissolves, the illusion of separation fades, you see that you were never actually alone or vulnerable, and the world becomes a different place.
Nondual Tantra takes a slightly different view of the origin, but presents a similar human conundrum. In its conception of reality, there is one Divine Light (again, you can call this God, Goddess, Awareness, Spirit, Dao, etc.) that expresses itself in all possible ways – including as seven billion humans – through what is called krida, the doctrine of divine play. The word “play” is used because the Source manifests an infinitely diverse world for its own sake – for the love of it – rather than for some end result.
In order to have an immersive experience as each of these facets of the world, the Divine imbues them with only a fraction of its total awareness. That is, so that you can really experience being you – believing you’re on your own, thinking you’re limited by this body, feeling the full spectrum of human emotion, triumphing over obstacles – you can’t know all along that you’re actually God acting like a human.
You have to forget, so the play feels that much more real – and so that you can later remember. It’s the ultimate game: to dive into a world where you’re blind to the connections and safety nets, where there’s so much potential to feel alone, afraid, and attacked, and yet, to find the light. To remember that it’s all You. To wake up to what you really are, with revelation, relief, and awe.
I have no agenda of convincing you to subscribe to either of these schools of thought. But knowing that our readers are open-minded people who are looking for deeper peace and an experience of connection, I thought you might find it compelling that two traditions from such different times and places offer such a similar message. (And these are just a couple examples of many.)
Both systems declare that you’re so much more connected to the world and your Highest Self than you realize, that the death of your body isn’t the end of life, and that the fundamental matrix of the universe is love. Perhaps there’s room in your worldview for a little nondualism. What do you think?
With love,
Dr. Peter Borten
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After so many newsletters about pretty deep topics, I thought I’d get really superficial this week and talk about skin. Winter’s dryness and cold plus extra clothing, obsessive handwashing, and indoor heating form a combination that can be very hard on our skin. My whole life, I’ve had skin that dislikes winter. Even if your skin doesn’t get flaky or irritated, taking good care of your skin at this time of year may still help it retain its youthful elasticity and luster. Here are eleven self-care recommendations:
Drink plenty of water. Divide the number of pounds you weigh in half – that’s the number of ounces of watacer to drink evenly over the course of the day (ideally at room temperature).
Eat moistening foods. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, certain foods are considered to build vital fluids in the body which are disseminated to the skin and affect skin moisture. Some of these foods include: sesame seeds (especially the black kind), dark leafy greens, berries, pears, oranges, watermelon, string beans, tomatoes, flax seed, hemp seed, tomatoes, plums, mung beans and sprouts, cucumber, water chestnuts, eggs, fish, nuts, seed and nut oils.
Get a humidifier. In our house in Colorado, the usual tabletop humidifiers make very little difference in the moisture of the air, but I’ve heard good things about “whole house humidifiers” and I plan to get one for our home soon. They hook up to your water line (so you don’t need to refill them) and moisten the air that moves through your heating system. The units cost a couple hundred dollars and installation is a few hundred more (or you could do it yourself if you’re handy).
Put oil on your skin. Lotions are emulsions of oil and water, and while they’re moisturizing, they aim to be well absorbed and to feel light and residue-free. As such, lighter lotions may not cut it if you have very dry skin, or they may need to be applied many times a day. If your skin suffers during the winter, you may need something that functions more as a barrier – that impedes water loss through the skin and protects against the elements – such as: pure oil (coconut, jojoba, grape seed, sesame (untoasted), etc.); a thicker lotion that contains more oil or heavier oils (like castor, rosehip seed, or tamanu oil); or a semi-solid lotion with even heavier, waxy ingredients (shea butter, cocoa butter, or beeswax). However, the richest of these (shea butter and wax) are probably too heavy for the face and could clog your pores.
Exfoliate gently before moisturizing and apply moisturizer to still-damp skin. As long as your skin isn’t irritated, gently removing the top layer of dead cells will make it easier for moisturizers to penetrate. I like a coarse cloth, raw silk gloves, or a natural plant bristle brush for exfoliating the whole body. After bathing, you have a window of a few minutes during which moisturizers will work best. Personally, I enjoy the combination of dry skin brushing followed by a shower and then a brisk self-massage with oil (a practice called abhyanga in Ayurveda).
Use less soap. Soap dries out your skin and is usually unnecessary.
If your hands get chapped, dry them thoroughly after washing. Letting your skin air dry slowly usually results in drier skin. This is especially important for people with eczema.
Avoid colors, synthetic fragrances, and other chemicals in your detergents and body care products. Dry winter skin is often extra sensitive to chemicals – and absorbs them more effectively.
Wash in cooler water. If your skin becomes more sensitive in the winter, and especially if you have a rash, hot water will often make it worse. Bathe in the coolest water you can tolerate.
Use sunscreen. I don’t buy into the idea that we should wear sunscreen constantly, but judicious use has some benefits. Sun exposure feels good, activates immune cells, and stimulates vitamin D production in our skin, which is beneficial to our health in numerous ways. But the UV portion of sunlight causes damage to our tissues through a process called oxidation. (It’s the same process that causes oils to go rancid, vitamins to spoil, and meat to turn grey.)
We all know sunburns are bad, but even without burning, extended exposure to UV light tends to cause yellowing, dryness, and wrinkling of our skin. It damages fibers called elastin, which, as you might guess from the name, gives our skin its elasticity. Over the years, this makes our skin saggy and more prone to tearing. UV light also blesses us with age spots or “liver spots.” And finally, it’s a major risk factor in skin cancers, especially the non-melanoma kinds. So, if you like youthful skin, sunscreen is a good idea – especially in the middle of the day – and it’s easy to forget to use it in the winter. Winter sun isn’t usually direct enough to stimulate vitamin D synthesis, but it’s still strong enough to cause skin damage (especially in sunny places).
I don’t like chemical sunscreens, so I steer my patients to mineral-based ones – zinc oxide and titanium oxide. Zinc is the best option: it’s an excellent skin soother and barrier, and it works better than any other sunscreen chemical approved for use in the U.S. It’s the main ingredient in many diaper rash ointments and was responsible for that classic white stripe on lifeguards’ noses years ago.
Nowadays, most mineral sunscreens aren’t quite as opaque – some are completely transparent – probably because manufacturers have gotten better at creating smaller particles of zinc and titanium. However, this presents a big unknown – are these tiny “nanoparticles” entering our cells and doing something bad? In response to initial concerns, some companies now sell “non-nano” mineral sunscreens, but according to the Environmental Working Group (EWG) even the mineral particles in these products would technically be considered “nano” sized.
Yet, EWG still believes they are our best option. A mixture of particle sizes, some nano and some larger, seems to offer the best sun protection, and the evidence so far indicates that they don’t penetrate into the skin far enough to encounter living cells. However, if you were to inhale a bunch of mineral sunscreen in powder or spray form, that wouldn’t be good for your lungs.
See a good skin care specialist. Believe it or not, I was co-owner of a spa for a couple years before I got my first facial. If I was going to take the time to get a spa treatment, I’d always opt for a massage. But one year, on my birthday, Briana scheduled a facial for me, and it was just lovely. Having someone steam and massage oils into your face is deeply relaxing. And I had to admit, my skin was glowing afterwards. I highly recommend it.
I hope these recommendations help you get through the winter with moister, healthier, happier skin.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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When I first heard the term “take back your power” some decades ago, I thought it pertained mostly to relationships in which one person was overly submissive to the other. Since I didn’t seem to be in that position with anyone, I felt this wasn’t work I needed to do.
But in the years since, I’ve come to feel that power sacrifice is something we do all the time, and nearly everyone would benefit from reclaiming their power on a regular basis. As I see it, there are two main categories to power loss (though, as we’ll see, there’s quite a bit of overlap):
-
- We give power to a specific person (consciously or unconsciously).
- We ignore, deny, or fail to recognize our own power and agency (Merriam-Webster: “agency: the capacity, condition, or state of acting or of exerting power”).
Let’s look at some examples of each category.
Category one includes the types of relationships I mentioned at the beginning of the article, such as when one person seeks the other’s approval to the extent of relinquishing their own needs, preferences, self-esteem, possibly even losing their sense of self. We often dub these relationships “codependent” and the power transfer can be very obvious to an outsider.
There are many subtler forms that are trickier to recognize. For instance, it’s fine to have a leader, boss, or mentor whom we accept guidance from; this doesn’t require giving away any of your power. But it’s easy, due to the hierarchical nature of the relationship, for an unconscious power transfer to occur. (That said, it’s also possible to hold onto your own power even while, say, working for a boss who makes big demands on your time and energy.)
Another subtle form of interpersonal power transfer is something like investing your power in someone, often because they bring something positive to your life, such as stability, support, attractiveness, wise counsel, heavy lifting, or good humor. The difference between simply appreciating these qualities versus giving away your power as a secret exchange is that when they don't behave in a way that you like, it feels very upsetting – maybe to an irrational degree.
If you have our workbook, Freedom, it can be very useful for helping you feel into the difference between being in possession of your power versus having put it in someone else’s hands.
Because they have your power, it’s as if they’re breaking a deal they never agreed to. You probably didn’t mean to give away your power, nor do you even realize this has happened. All you “know” is that they should be different, and you feel justified in making their behavior your business. It’s similar to how you might feel if a company you invested in made some bad business moves – except that the company consented to the investment.
It's reasonable to expect your partner to be mature and responsible, and it’s natural to be upset if they break an agreement or cause harm. But if you have your power and they have theirs, they can be who they choose to be and do what they choose to do, and it feels clean. You may disagree and have emotions about it, but you can work through it in a level-headed way that’s founded on reverence for each party’s agency and your mutual choice to be together.
Whenever you find yourself intensely upset by someone’s behavior, I suggest you let it trigger a quick “power check.” Who has your power? Are you allowing the other person’s behavior to dictate whether you’re peaceful, centered, and happy? Perhaps you’ve unintentionally given them some of your power.
Giving away your power doesn’t make you stupid or naïve. It's absolutely natural, especially given our childhood of utter dependence on others. Much of the time we give our power away through a totally benevolent impulse to help or share. But it's worth developing an awareness of the difference between helping someone and giving them what’s yours.
And here we come to an important principle: your power is your power. You can't give it to someone else in a way that's truly good for them or you. If anything, giving others your power is an infringement on them and a weight on the relationship.
Next time we’ll look at ways to take back your power and return others’ power to them. And we’ll also explore that second way we give away our power.
Have you ever had an experience of giving away your power? Did you reclaim it? Has this article made you aware of a situation in which you might be leaking power? Please share with the community in the comments section below.
Be well,
Peter
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[post_content] => When my wife says I’m the only person she knows who could happily curl up in bed with a 20-pound medical text, I like to point out that I also enjoy books on philosophy. It’s been at least a decade since I’ve read a work of fiction (except to my kids), but I find nonfiction so fascinating, and it constantly challenges my worldview. I know most people find these subjects dry and heady, so I try to tackle them in our newsletters with the aim of making them more accessible and digestible.
Today I’d like to share some thoughts on one of these dry topics – the philosophy of nondualism. Wait, don’t leave! I promise I’ll make it interesting – controversial even. Just bear with me. It might even change the way you see the world.
In a nutshell, nondualism is the notion that everything is essentially one – that all the apparent differences and separation we perceive in the world are an illusion.
Nondual philosophy has many different forms; I can’t deliver a comprehensive analysis in an article this short. Instead, I’ll speak to the perspective of a single Eastern source – Tantra Illuminated by Christopher Wallis – and a single Western source – A Course in Miracles (ACIM) by Helen Schucman.
The first is a study of Tantra, a group of spiritual traditions that arose mainly between 300 and 1300 A.D. They had a significant impact on the development of yoga, Hinduism, and Buddhism. And I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but “tantric sex” is the tiniest fraction of what Tantra comprises.
The second, which might be understood as nondual Christianity, was written by an American in the 1960s and 70s and is presented as a “channeled” work dictated by Jesus.
Though seemingly very different, these two traditions actually have a lot in common. And what they share is a perspective that would alleviate a lot of suffering if it were more widely known.
Both schools of thought focus on discovering the unity within all the apparent differences in the world. They say that when we see a world where some things are godly and others aren’t, where good and evil, wealth and poverty, sickness and health, virtue and sin, life and death, and a host of other “dualities” yank us around and define our experience of life, we’re wrapped up in a dream that obscures the real truth.
And that truth, they assert, is that all things are an expression of one Consciousness (God, Spirit, Universe, Divine Light, Highest Self, or whatever other word you care to use), which is synonymous with Love. These systems hold that everyone and all things are connected, equal expressions of God, and there is nothing to fear and no reason to suffer.
ACIM often pushes non-Christians’ buttons by using terms like Jesus, Christ, and Holy Spirit. For me, raised Jewish, the terminology presented some hurdles at first, but it gets easier the more I recognize that these names – as well as those of most other traditions – are all pointing to the same thing.
ACIM also pushes Christians’ buttons because much of what it teaches flies in the face of Christian dogma. It states that God isn’t outside of us or different than us. It holds that there is no duality of heaven and hell; only heaven is real and we’re either conscious of it or lost in stories of our own making. It says there is no sin – only mistakes made out of confusion. It claims that God doesn’t forgive – because God doesn’t condemn.
Despite these potential objections, I feel it’s a worthwhile study in Western nondualism. It might be a more natural leap for someone with a background in an Abrahamic religion (Judaism, Christianity, Islam are the main three) rather than adopting a completely foreign Eastern nondual tradition. However, some find the reframing of deeply entrenched Abrahamic concepts too difficult to swallow, or the terminology too loaded, making the Eastern traditions something of a clean slate in comparison.
Central to ACIM’s narrative is the idea that you sought to break apart from God, to be independent, and in so doing, you gave your power to your ego. (This might be likened to the biblical story of eating from the Tree of Knowledge, whereupon the mind was given authority and we lost the “Eden” state of consciousness.) The ego protects this idea of independence by asserting that the world is a place of separation, where everything is disconnected, where all things are in competition, and pain, suffering, and loneliness threaten us.
The perpetuation of this dream depends on the ego’s continually empowering itself by generating conflict – with the world and yourself. Meanwhile, the belief that you cut yourself off from your Highest Self (keep substituting words you like) is a source of deep self-blame, which you also project onto the world and its inhabitants.
The primary means of resolving this dilemma, the Course teaches, is forgiveness. By forgiving yourself and everyone else, conflict dissolves, the illusion of separation fades, you see that you were never actually alone or vulnerable, and the world becomes a different place.
Nondual Tantra takes a slightly different view of the origin, but presents a similar human conundrum. In its conception of reality, there is one Divine Light (again, you can call this God, Goddess, Awareness, Spirit, Dao, etc.) that expresses itself in all possible ways – including as seven billion humans – through what is called krida, the doctrine of divine play. The word “play” is used because the Source manifests an infinitely diverse world for its own sake – for the love of it – rather than for some end result.
In order to have an immersive experience as each of these facets of the world, the Divine imbues them with only a fraction of its total awareness. That is, so that you can really experience being you – believing you’re on your own, thinking you’re limited by this body, feeling the full spectrum of human emotion, triumphing over obstacles – you can’t know all along that you’re actually God acting like a human.
You have to forget, so the play feels that much more real – and so that you can later remember. It’s the ultimate game: to dive into a world where you’re blind to the connections and safety nets, where there’s so much potential to feel alone, afraid, and attacked, and yet, to find the light. To remember that it’s all You. To wake up to what you really are, with revelation, relief, and awe.
I have no agenda of convincing you to subscribe to either of these schools of thought. But knowing that our readers are open-minded people who are looking for deeper peace and an experience of connection, I thought you might find it compelling that two traditions from such different times and places offer such a similar message. (And these are just a couple examples of many.)
Both systems declare that you’re so much more connected to the world and your Highest Self than you realize, that the death of your body isn’t the end of life, and that the fundamental matrix of the universe is love. Perhaps there’s room in your worldview for a little nondualism. What do you think?
With love,
Dr. Peter Borten
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Dr Pete,
I love the articles that you have written on TCM. I have benefited greatly from your thought.
Lisa Trimble, LMT
Thanks, Lisa. I’m so glad they’ve been helpful!
This series is one of the most interesting I’ve read in a very long time! The section about the pericardium spoke the loudest to me because I’m a feeler and take things to heart so I need to figure out how to protect my heart better emotionally. Heartache lasts a long time with me.
I’m glad you’re enjoying it, Diane. Yes, pericardium issues are so common – even among people who aren’t really “feelers,” many of whom used to feel but don’t anymore because they made their pericardium impenetrable after being hurt. I hope your insights bring you greater freedom in this realm.
It’s kind of funny, I used to always wear alligator ear rings with the jaws open wide. The story that I told about why is very similar to representation of the pericardium in your article. In my story I lived on an island with a moat full of hungry alligators. Once in awhile someone would forget and feed the alligators too much. This would allow access to the island usually resulting in me getting hurt. The ear rings were my reminder to always be wary and cautious and keep my alligators a little hungry.