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[post_date] => 2019-12-03 17:41:59
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It’s not hard to get into the routine of buying lots of stuff for your loved ones during the holidays. We want them to be happy, they seem to want stuff, and stuff is on sale. But when we’re breaking the bank to do it, when we feel compelled to go over the top or to outdo ourselves, and especially when the result is likely to be something big in the landfill in a year or two, maybe it’s worth reassessing our motives and options.
One of my favorite days as a kid – and my model for healthy gift-giving – was St. Nicholas Day. Each region celebrates this holiday in their own way. In several European countries, kids leave their shoes outside or in front of the chimney and receive small gifts in them from St. Nicholas. Sometimes they use a boot to collect the presents, or St. Nicholas sticks a treat under their pillow. In other parts, people dress as St. Nicholas and leave a bag of goodies outside neighbors’ doors. Dutch children will put out a clog with hay and a carrot for St. Nicholas’s horse.
As you can tell, elements of several of these traditions – the chimney, the shoe (which became a stocking), the gift giving, and even the name Saint Nicholas (Sinterklaas in Dutch, which became Santa Claus) – all got rolled together with Jesus’s birthday, Winter Solstice, and many aspects of the Pagan festival of Yule to form Christmas. But in our family, we keep St. Nicholas Day separate – it occurs on December 6th – and this makes it easier to preserve its specialness.
In all cases, St. Nick leaves something modest – it needs to fit in a bag, in a shoe, in a boot, or under a pillow. Because of this limitation, there’s a lot more room for magic and sweetness. When I was young, the bag of goodies typically consisted of some oranges, nuts, a pineapple, a little candy, and perhaps some tree ornaments. This is what we put into the bags we make for our friends today.
We put these bags together as a family, and even though nuts and fruit are a regular part of our diets, the kids handle it as if it’s something really special because they know it’s going to be a gift. The best part is walking or driving to recipients’ houses, putting the bag on their porch, knocking on the door and running away (so it’s a mystery!). Our kids get absolutely giddy with the excitement of it (to be honest - so do we!!) When we return home, St. Nick has visited our house too (wink, wink)!
Because the emphasis isn’t on size or monetary value, the essence of what we’re doing is a lot easier to see. There’s a surprise element – an unexpected and anonymous gift – which is fun. There’s an unspoken communication – we love you and you matter to us. You add sweetness to our lives, and here’s a little sweetness back. And even if they don’t figure out it was from us, we know it was given in the most unconditional way.
What’s your gift-giving tradition like? How do you keep the emphasis on the non-material aspects of the holidays? Share your ideas with us in the comments section below.
Love,
Briana
[post_title] => Making Room for Magic in our Giving
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[post_date] => 2021-03-19 16:39:27
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I believe that anyone can find ways to evolve and do their personal development work through whatever career they have. Whether you’re a custodian, a farmer, or the CEO of a lollipop company, you’ll inevitably encounter challenges that will push you to stretch and grow. And you will encounter opportunity after opportunity to demonstrate the kind of person you choose to be.
I often tell this to clients who are stuck in jobs they despise. I’m not glib about it; I know it’s not usually an easy shift of perspective to make. But sometimes it’s only when the suffering becomes insufferable that we avail ourselves of heroic powers and resources that were seemingly hidden before.
That said, I wouldn’t recommend deliberately putting yourself in a toxic environment just to facilitate your evolution. If you can find work you enjoy that pays your bills while in the company of decent folks, I say take it. Although there may not be a dire need to tap into your latent sainthood in order to survive there, pain isn’t the only thing that stimulates growth.
I’ve often said that one of the things I love most about being a healer and teacher is that my professional work and my personal (internal) work are so often unified. If I want to be a more effective healer and a better teacher, sure I could learn more techniques, but the highest outcome for everyone involved would result from my routinely “cleaning house” and actively choosing to be my best self. I ask myself questions like, Am I being present or departing to go elsewhere in my mind? Am I listening to the person in front of me, or just my own mental interpretations? Am I communicating in a way that’s true, kind, and necessary?
These are questions we can ask ourselves in any environment, but some settings lend themselves to this kind of inquiry. For me, while I was driven to do personal inquiry before I got into medicine, it waxed and waned, and I’ve found my career to be a great catalyst.
If you find it appealing to have a career that directly asks you to work on yourself, consider being a life coach through our training program. Even if you’re not in the market for a career change, we’ve had numerous participants who have done the training to bring a new perspective and skill set to their current workplace. And if being a coach doesn’t sound appealing, but the personal work does, then check out Sacred Expansion. It’s the preliminary portion of the Dragontree Life Coach training, and can be done independently. It’s an eight-week course for finding your authentic self and clearing the stuff that gets in the way of living as this divine being.
So much love,
Peter
[post_title] => Let Your Outer Work Be Your Inner Work
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There is so much research about the benefits of journaling: stress relief, sparks creativity, improves confidence, helps with conflict resolution, improves writing, boosts memory, increases emotional intelligence, helps achieve goals, evokes mindfulness, improves health and healing, and makes you smarter.
But sitting down with a blank sheet of paper and expecting to pour oneself through the pen can be a bit daunting for even the most inspired writer.
To help you get through that first step of putting pen to paper I’ve made a list of 5 things you can journal about and why.
Write about goals and progress on goals
Pro tip: You’re way more likely to achieve your goals if you simply write them down. The process of writing your goals signals to your brain that they are important and then your brain organizes and prioritizes based on that information.
By journaling about your goals you not only are able to clarify what you’re really going for, you’re also able to expand upon them and push yourself to dream even bigger. Write about all of the details of how it will feel to achieve the goal, what it will look like, and the affect it will have on your and your loved ones.
Then, write about your progress as you move forward so you can notice that you are evolving and expanding. This helps propel you toward your goal even more because you see the momentum that’s building and ride that wave to completion.
Explore and resolve challenging experiences and emotions
We all face difficult times in our lives and relationships, but it’s what we do during these times that make the biggest difference in our overall happiness. Journaling is a great way to relieve the stress of these situations and put things into context so we can process and release.
Just putting the experience and accompanying emotions into words makes the experience knowable, and therefore manageable.
Start by just getting it all out – even if it’s illegible and nonsensical. Don’t censor or edit yourself, just be in the ick and let it out.
Once you’ve moved through the surface feelings and emotions, dive into the deeper layers of what’s really going on for you. Try seeing things objectively and write down your observations about your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Forgive yourself, and anyone else involved, for the confusion, hurt, and struggle.
Then see if you can find a lesson or an opportunity for growth for yourself in this situation and journal about what that would look for you.
Lastly, answer this question: How would I move forward in this situation from my deepest values and highest Self?
Self reflection
Use your journal to tap into what’s going on with yourself. Where are you at? How are you feeling? What’s going on for you?
Getting your musings, ideas, and feelings onto paper help you to understand and assimilate them so you can move forward with more grace and joy.
Imagine you’re talking with a really good friend that won’t judge you at all for any of your thoughts or feelings and just write. If you get stuck it might be helpful to go through some of the major categories of your life and reflect upon how you’re feeling about them: friendships, livelihood and impact, health, romantic relationship, creativity, community, play, and spiritual health.
Don’t be afraid to go deep. Ask yourself the questions you’re afraid to ask. Get to know yourself.
Develop your intuition
Journaling is like speaking to yourself and listening at the same time.
If you have any concerns, issues, or questions write them down and request your unconscious to come on board while you’re meditating or sleeping to bring you answers beyond your normal awareness.
Then when you’re done meditating or when you awaken immediate write for ten minutes about any breakthroughs or revelations.
You might be surprised what creativity and inspiration come to you!
Reflect on the positive things in your life
Journaling about a positive experience let’s your mind relive it, which boosts confidence in your ability to create happiness.
Start by just making a list of five things that you’re grateful for today. As you do this, you’ll become aware of awesomeness that is already present in your life. Practice being as present as possible with these pieces of joy in life.
Writing about the good things changes your orientation from scarcity and stress to abundance and peace, simply by shifting your focus.
Journaling is a super valuable practice in any amount, but making it a habit that you do every day creates profound change. If you’re feeling stuck around what to write about – try one of these five things and if none of them are calling you, just set a timer for five minutes, put your pen to paper, and write without stopping. Yes, some of what comes out will be craziness, and that’s okay! The point isn’t to write for the entertainment of others, it’s to provide an outlet for you to express, release, and reflect.
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It’s not hard to get into the routine of buying lots of stuff for your loved ones during the holidays. We want them to be happy, they seem to want stuff, and stuff is on sale. But when we’re breaking the bank to do it, when we feel compelled to go over the top or to outdo ourselves, and especially when the result is likely to be something big in the landfill in a year or two, maybe it’s worth reassessing our motives and options.
One of my favorite days as a kid – and my model for healthy gift-giving – was St. Nicholas Day. Each region celebrates this holiday in their own way. In several European countries, kids leave their shoes outside or in front of the chimney and receive small gifts in them from St. Nicholas. Sometimes they use a boot to collect the presents, or St. Nicholas sticks a treat under their pillow. In other parts, people dress as St. Nicholas and leave a bag of goodies outside neighbors’ doors. Dutch children will put out a clog with hay and a carrot for St. Nicholas’s horse.
As you can tell, elements of several of these traditions – the chimney, the shoe (which became a stocking), the gift giving, and even the name Saint Nicholas (Sinterklaas in Dutch, which became Santa Claus) – all got rolled together with Jesus’s birthday, Winter Solstice, and many aspects of the Pagan festival of Yule to form Christmas. But in our family, we keep St. Nicholas Day separate – it occurs on December 6th – and this makes it easier to preserve its specialness.
In all cases, St. Nick leaves something modest – it needs to fit in a bag, in a shoe, in a boot, or under a pillow. Because of this limitation, there’s a lot more room for magic and sweetness. When I was young, the bag of goodies typically consisted of some oranges, nuts, a pineapple, a little candy, and perhaps some tree ornaments. This is what we put into the bags we make for our friends today.
We put these bags together as a family, and even though nuts and fruit are a regular part of our diets, the kids handle it as if it’s something really special because they know it’s going to be a gift. The best part is walking or driving to recipients’ houses, putting the bag on their porch, knocking on the door and running away (so it’s a mystery!). Our kids get absolutely giddy with the excitement of it (to be honest - so do we!!) When we return home, St. Nick has visited our house too (wink, wink)!
Because the emphasis isn’t on size or monetary value, the essence of what we’re doing is a lot easier to see. There’s a surprise element – an unexpected and anonymous gift – which is fun. There’s an unspoken communication – we love you and you matter to us. You add sweetness to our lives, and here’s a little sweetness back. And even if they don’t figure out it was from us, we know it was given in the most unconditional way.
What’s your gift-giving tradition like? How do you keep the emphasis on the non-material aspects of the holidays? Share your ideas with us in the comments section below.
Love,
Briana
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