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One word that has practically become synonymous with travel is STRESS. There can be any number of reasons why we end up finding ourselves, carry-ons and boarding pass in hand, sweat on the brow, crick in the neck, stressing about anything from making a connecting flight to childcare and work arrangements, an upcoming huge life event, and ‘Oh my gosh, did I remember to grab my cell phone charger?!?’
Whether you’re getting on a plane to take a relaxing second honeymoon sans-kids in a tropical paradise… catching a connecting flight with your church group to do rewarding charity work for a community in need… hopping a long flight to your hometown to give tribute and bid a final farewell to a loved one, while hugging the ones you still can… working tirelessly on your laptop to finish a big project that is due five minutes after you land in The Big Apple… entertaining your cranky toddler and teething little one through a long layover on the way to meet Mickey and Minnie …jet-setting in style in first class to your best friend’s wedding in Europe… or crunched in coach with your family on a five-connection flight to Wisconsin, via New Mexico, to spend the holidays with your in-laws… STRESS will find a way to follow you all the way through your journey and even to your destination if you let it, unless you have the tools and know-how to combat it.
This monthly blog will give me a space to keep you current on what products and items we as massage therapists at The Dragontree PDX, and I personally, love to use in the spa and recommend for clients who are seeking that extra bit of stress and tension relief before (and sometimes after, when that neck crick is still crick-ing) they fly. I’ll also help keep you up to date on what you can do to maintain lower stress levels while you travel, from the inside of your body out, such as stretching, self-care, and, of course, massage!
Which brings me to my absolute biggest tip for travelers; Drink… more… WATER!
It’s easy to forget in our normal day-to-day lives to adequately hydrate with water and herbal teas (sodas and energy drinks don’t count, not even diet!), so once you’ve given those final instructions on how to avoid burning the kitchen down to your housemates, dropped your car in Economy, and gotten through the security checkpoint, it’s even easier to forget to keep your body running at maximum efficiency with proper hydration. When we travel we come in contact with an infinitely larger amount of germs and allergens than in our regular daily lives, so our immune systems are being constantly inundated with even more new things to adapt to and destroy, which is quite the task when added on top of the all of the stresses that can come with traveling. Add in low levels of hydration in the body, and your immune system is left struggling to keep up the fight, the perfect storm for getting whatever that nice lady sitting next to you who keeps sneezing must have.
Experts say that our bodies are made up of approximately 60% water and, if you’re feeling thirsty, that’s one of the later signs of dehydration. It’s also worth noting that our muscles, and particularly our tendons and ligaments, are one of the last places water gets to in our bodies, so not drinking enough water while traveling can contribute to anything from catching a terrible cold before a big day in tulle and taffeta, to pulling a hamstring before a big day in spandex.
Drink double the amount of water you normally would for 24-48 hours before you travel, this will help jump-start your immune system and overall strength, and keep it up throughout your travels. True, you might have to get up to use the bathroom a few more times throughout your flight, but stretching your legs a little more, even on those short flights, is just a bonus. And if you forget your refillable water bottle, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with our
new stainless steel Dragontree water bottles for only $15. And the filtered water is, of course, on the house ;)
-Michele (Lead Therapist at Dragontree Airport)
[post_title] => Cut down travel stress!
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There’s so much talk in the natural health world about ways to cleanse our bodies, but so little about how to cleanse our minds. I’d suggest that most of us need more of the latter than the former. We recently ran our Rituals for Living program, in which we offered daily recommendations for mind and body wellness, and one of the prescriptions was to forgive someone. A subscriber wrote us to ask, essentially, “But how? How do you forgive someone who did something that feels unforgiveable?” In responding to her, it occurred to me that I’ve had this conversation with dozens of patients over the years, and that perhaps by turning it into an article, more people could benefit from it. So, here it is, the most fundamental step to cleansing the mind: Forgiveness.
1. Recognize that most people are just confused children (or at least we can be when we're emotional). Our bodies have gotten bigger and older looking, but inside we're the same consciousness we've always been, still looking to get our needs met, still wanting everyone's approval, still perhaps wanting to cause hurt when we get hurt, and just trying our best to make things work using the tools we have.
In the process, we often cause pain for others. If you’ve been on the receiving end, it may be worth considering that the perpetrator of the hurt was acting out of confusion: not really understanding that they could get their needs met without hurting someone else, not really understanding the impact of their actions, not really conscious of the love that's always available to them, and not really understanding their connectedness to you. This may not make their actions okay for you, but hopefully it makes forgiveness more of an option.
2. Consider that lifelong punishment may be unreasonable. If it's your intention to withhold forgiveness of someone (possibly yourself) for the rest of your life, maybe this qualifies as "cruel and unusual." It's a uniquely human thing to hold a grudge and never let it go. If a baby lion gets too rough with its mom, it gets a swat and then it's over with. Humans, on the other hand, like to stay mad at each other for a long, long time, and it's unnatural. Have your reaction - really have it - accept it, and be done with it.
3. View forgiveness as something we do for ourselves as much as for the other person. When we withhold forgiveness of others we basically take on the job of administering an ongoing punishment, so we're playing warden in the mental prison we're keeping them in, and it demands energy and mental "bandwidth." Do we really want to give our energy and peace of mind away to the very person we believe wronged us? Does corrupting our peace and restricting our inner freedom make the situation better in any way?
Resentment is an emotional poison in our system. Even if we don’t want to do anything nice for the person we’ve been resenting, for our own sake we need to get that poison out. The nice part is that it will bring us immediate relief. We get to quit that warden job and detox from the poison in the same act.
4. See forgiveness not as a single act, but as an ongoing commitment. Often, it's not possible for us to just pronounce someone forgiven and have that be the end of it. Instead, we might need to make a commitment with ourselves that from now on we’re going to recognize any time we’re harboring resentment toward them and let it go. And every time we notice that we’ve picked it back up, we’re going to let it go again. We’re not going to analyze why we picked it up again, we’re not going to scold ourselves for having picked it up again, and we’re not going to indulge in the resentment again. We’re just going to drop it (forgive them again) as efficiently as possible. And we’ll immediately feel lighter.
5. If you feel so emotional that forgiveness seems impossible, choose anger over despair. As soon as you have enough distance from the situation to wonder, “What do I do with this intense emotion I’m carrying around?” remember that anger can more easily be transformed into action and determination than hurt and sadness can. So, find the part of you that is angry about whatever happened.
This adversarial part of you insists to yourself (and probably others) that someone did something wrong. That something shouldn’t have happened that did happen. And simultaneously, that we, from our current perspective, are right about this. Perhaps you build your case in the shower and while driving.
The thing is, when we’re stuck in being right, we block our movement forward in life. We diminish our own perspective. We keep ourselves from seeing the big picture of what will get us most efficiently to a life of happiness and fulfillment.
You can hang out in this “he/she was wrong to do this” place forever, but if this is about something someone did to you, in a way they’re still sticking it to you as long as you live in this mindset. As long as you continue to sideline your life and happiness for this mental argument, they’re still hurting you. As long as you replay these conversations and events, you reopen your own wound.
The river of life continues to flow, but you're clinging to a rock called "This Wasn’t Supposed to Happen.” The silly part is that you're not really stuck in a fight. The whole one-sided thing is happening in your mind, where it’s only you who continues to get punished. You who pretends that there’s value in carrying on with it, sorting it out, perpetuating a fight that the other party isn’t present for, corrupting your own happiness and potential, corrupting the quality of presence you have with others, and investing energy into something that will never give you back anything.
If the best you can muster is anger and the desire to cause hurt, then the ideal way to stick it to the other person would be to not let him have any more of your soul than you’ve already given; instead, pull back all the energy you're giving them - divesting completely. Forgive completely so that they don't get the tiniest bit of your consciousness anymore. Eventually the need to withdraw your energy will be replaced with a more equanimous neutrality.
Let me know what happens. I love hearing about people’s struggles and triumphs with forgiveness.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
[post_title] => An End of the Year Cleanse
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I was jogging on the mesa behind our house and my thoughts went to the upcoming holidays and my cycles of introversion and extroversion. For me, social gatherings inevitably spur a yearning to be alone or look at my phone or eat. As I gazed at the peaks and valleys of the mountain range in front of me, I realized that this pattern is an expression of the cycling of yin and yang that’s present everywhere in the universe. I’d like to share my thoughts with you in the hope that it will make for a more balanced holiday season.
In social behavior, this cycle moved from an outward orientation (yang) to an inward orientation (yin) and back. Texting, talking, dancing with others, partying, and co-working are all relatively outward activities. Reading the news, playing a video game (alone), taking a bath, eating, and meditating are all relatively inward activities. After some outward activity, most people feel a desire to go inward. After some inward activity, most people feel a desire to go outward.
We see this cycle from inward to outward to inward to outward, or from expansion to contraction to expansion to contraction, throughout the human body (breathing and the beating of the heart), human behavior, and the natural world. This undulating pattern is seen in the waves of our oceans, in waves of sound and light, in the movement of sexual intercourse, in waking and sleeping, and so much more.
When our inward-outward social patterns are relatively balanced, it works. But if there’s a compulsion to go inward and stay there, to always be gazing at a screen, to be in our bubble, or to eat on autopilot, it’s worth looking at. The same is true for someone who is always socially-engaged and feels uncomfortable going inward or being alone. People can become stagnant in one phase or the other. So I propose we use the holidays as an opportunity for a social experiment and personal growth. I believe both inward and outward activities can be either shallow or deep, and going deep gets us out of stagnation by fulfilling us and moving the cycle along.
Here’s a graphical representation of the inward-outward cycle. I labeled something like 70% of the range of both inward and outward activities as “shallow.” This doesn’t mean they’re frivolous, just that they aren’t soul-nourishing in a way that moves the cycle forward. If we make small talk with our coworkers, then play Candy Crush, then send some emails, then eat lunch while browsing a magazine, and so on throughout the day, this curve would look much flatter – we’re moving from shallow external activity to shallow internal activity and never approaching the “peaks.”
It’s hard to be black-and-white in defining what’s shallow and what’s deep, and what’s outward versus what’s inward – but it’s something we can feel. I called eating an inward activity, but of course there could simultaneously be an outward element of social interaction. Coworking could be very outward or somewhat inward, depending on whether it’s very collaborative and verbal or just a bunch of people introverting near each other. Reading about celebrities is what I’d call a “shallow inward” activity. Talking about celebrities is what I’d call a “shallow outward” activity. Meditation is usually a “deep inward” activity. And having sex – or more specifically, connected love-making – is usually a “deep outward” activity.
Thus, in both inward and outward activities, there’s an opportunity to go to a certain depth where the orientation becomes both internal and external. So, while meditation is an inward activity, when you really go deep with it, there can be an expansiveness, a transcendence of your small self, a sense of connection with everything – and therefore an outward orientation. Similarly, while traveling is mostly an outward activity, when we witness the vastness of nature or the beauty of other cultures or the oneness we all share, the profundity of such an expansive moment can turn us inward. We come into our hearts and are silenced and grateful.
I created a more descriptive diagram of what’s going on. This sphere with a hole through the center, kind of a donut shape, is known as a torus. When dealing with energy, it’s called a toroidal field. Humans have toroidal fields of energy that move in both directions. That is, the energy can move up from the center, then outward, down, and up through the bottom. And it can also move down through the center, then outward, up, and down through the top. What I mean to depict here is that when we go deep, we go through whatever state we’re in and move toward the opposing state. When we go outward and deep, this fulfills our urge to extrovert and takes us inward. When we go inward and deep, this fulfills our urge to introvert and takes us outward. Yin becomes Yang and Yang becomes Yin.
What does this all mean in practical terms? There’s nothing wrong with being introverted or extroverted, and nothing wrong with shallower activities, but if you find yourself getting stuck in either phase, or having difficulty with either phase, try going deeper. As a general guide, bringing your full presence to whatever you’re doing will take you deeper.
In an outward-oriented setting, like a Thanksgiving social gathering, how can you get more real? Can you ask what challenges your friends are facing and be totally present for them? Can you connect more deeply than a conversation about turkey or the weather? Can you share what’s alive for you right now? Can you finally be who you really are around your family? When you’re with people can you be 100% with them? If you find yourself in a game of touch football, can you lose yourself in the spirit of play?
How can you make your introverted periods really count? If you sneak off to the bathroom to play on your phone, can you put it down for a minute and really go inward? Can you feel and acknowledge and accept what’s coming up for you? Can you invite the feelings and take the time and presence to see where they lead you? Can you hear your inner child, meet it with your mature inner adult, and give it what it needs to be at ease – so you can return to the party in a lighthearted way? Can you remember to prioritize meditation and other forms of deliberate stillness throughout the busyness of the holidays?
What happens to your phases of introversion and extroversion when you intentionally go deep in both directions? I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments section below.
With love,
Peter
[post_title] => Go Deep for the Holidays
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One word that has practically become synonymous with travel is STRESS. There can be any number of reasons why we end up finding ourselves, carry-ons and boarding pass in hand, sweat on the brow, crick in the neck, stressing about anything from making a connecting flight to childcare and work arrangements, an upcoming huge life event, and ‘Oh my gosh, did I remember to grab my cell phone charger?!?’
Whether you’re getting on a plane to take a relaxing second honeymoon sans-kids in a tropical paradise… catching a connecting flight with your church group to do rewarding charity work for a community in need… hopping a long flight to your hometown to give tribute and bid a final farewell to a loved one, while hugging the ones you still can… working tirelessly on your laptop to finish a big project that is due five minutes after you land in The Big Apple… entertaining your cranky toddler and teething little one through a long layover on the way to meet Mickey and Minnie …jet-setting in style in first class to your best friend’s wedding in Europe… or crunched in coach with your family on a five-connection flight to Wisconsin, via New Mexico, to spend the holidays with your in-laws… STRESS will find a way to follow you all the way through your journey and even to your destination if you let it, unless you have the tools and know-how to combat it.
This monthly blog will give me a space to keep you current on what products and items we as massage therapists at The Dragontree PDX, and I personally, love to use in the spa and recommend for clients who are seeking that extra bit of stress and tension relief before (and sometimes after, when that neck crick is still crick-ing) they fly. I’ll also help keep you up to date on what you can do to maintain lower stress levels while you travel, from the inside of your body out, such as stretching, self-care, and, of course, massage!
Which brings me to my absolute biggest tip for travelers; Drink… more… WATER!
It’s easy to forget in our normal day-to-day lives to adequately hydrate with water and herbal teas (sodas and energy drinks don’t count, not even diet!), so once you’ve given those final instructions on how to avoid burning the kitchen down to your housemates, dropped your car in Economy, and gotten through the security checkpoint, it’s even easier to forget to keep your body running at maximum efficiency with proper hydration. When we travel we come in contact with an infinitely larger amount of germs and allergens than in our regular daily lives, so our immune systems are being constantly inundated with even more new things to adapt to and destroy, which is quite the task when added on top of the all of the stresses that can come with traveling. Add in low levels of hydration in the body, and your immune system is left struggling to keep up the fight, the perfect storm for getting whatever that nice lady sitting next to you who keeps sneezing must have.
Experts say that our bodies are made up of approximately 60% water and, if you’re feeling thirsty, that’s one of the later signs of dehydration. It’s also worth noting that our muscles, and particularly our tendons and ligaments, are one of the last places water gets to in our bodies, so not drinking enough water while traveling can contribute to anything from catching a terrible cold before a big day in tulle and taffeta, to pulling a hamstring before a big day in spandex.
Drink double the amount of water you normally would for 24-48 hours before you travel, this will help jump-start your immune system and overall strength, and keep it up throughout your travels. True, you might have to get up to use the bathroom a few more times throughout your flight, but stretching your legs a little more, even on those short flights, is just a bonus. And if you forget your refillable water bottle, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with our
new stainless steel Dragontree water bottles for only $15. And the filtered water is, of course, on the house ;)
-Michele (Lead Therapist at Dragontree Airport)
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