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"Start by doing everything you can to enjoy the food as much as possible. Give it your full attention... Savor the flavors and textures, and imagine all the good things it's going to do to your body."
What will you do to connect to your body today? Let us know in the comments below.
Ready to begin your journey? Preorder Rituals For Transformation today
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If you’ve ever done something reactionary, without thinking it through, there was a certain element that spurred you to act even though you might not have been aware of it. If you have an addiction, or simply find yourself repeating a behavior even while knowing it isn’t good for you, this element is there as well. It’s also there when you procrastinate. And when you avoid certain people. And when you dodge uncomfortable conversations. And it inevitably plays a central role in every case of anxiety or depression.
The element I’m speaking of is feelings. And although it might sound obvious to say, “Feelings play a central role in unhappiness,” I believe that most unhappy people rarely have an intentional meeting with those feelings. Whether recognized or not, their presence moves us to act – and to avoid acting. They dramatically alter our experience of life and our perspective of the ourselves and the world.
Rather than labeling them as good or bad, I think it’s more meaningful to look at how much freedom do you have in your relationship with a given feeling?
I often ask people about their feelings, especially when the feelings seem to be in control. Specifically, I inquire about the physical experience they’re having. Frequently they report that they can’t perceive anything. Despite the fact that there’s a feeling that’s strong enough to prompt them to, say, gobble up a bag of candy faster than they can stop themselves, the felt sense of that feeling can be hard to pin down. I guarantee it’s there though, and exploring it is likely to help unravel this behavior pattern.
We’re not apt to address our unpleasant feelings directly because, well, they’re unpleasant. Maybe we believe that willingly experiencing them would be more unpleasant than distracting ourselves from them or blocking them out. Furthermore, we learn early that other people disapprove of our anger and fear, and usually there’s no wise guidance for managing these feelings. So we develop the skill of stuffing them or becoming numb. When we look at trends in violence, it’s clear that boys, in particular, are expected to learn this skill and that it often fails miserably.
Actually it fails for everyone, eventually. Not acknowledging our feelings doesn’t neutralize them. It makes them toxic.
I know that an exploration of your negative emotions, many of them associated with traumatic events, doesn’t sound like a good time. It’s work. Perhaps even painful work. But it’s supremely worthwhile work. It’s like digging out a deep splinter. You know it’s not good to let it fester in there, and maybe it’s gotten so tender and swollen that you can’t get it all at once. However, there’s a certain strength that comes from knowing you’re finally doing what needs to be done. And it doesn’t have to be a grim process; you’re not going to be less effective by bringing humor, gentleness, and self-love to this work.
You will probably discover at times that your feelings are more complicated than you thought. Dr. Les Greenberg, the main developer of Emotion-Focused Therapy, explains that we have primary emotions and secondary emotions. Our primary emotions arise in the instant that an unpleasant thought or experience occurs, and they usually make us feel vulnerable or exposed. Thus, they’re often quickly and powerfully veiled by a secondary emotion (like anger, indignation, resentment, etc.) that feels less vulnerable. Greenberg describes primary emotions as “less rapid and less action-oriented” than secondary emotions. He says if we only address our secondary or surface emotions, the primary emotion remains and is likely to trigger new secondary emotions in future conflicts. With a spirit of curiosity and trust, you can go deep and get acquainted with these neglected parts of your shadow-self, bringing them into the light.
While reading the beginning of this article, perhaps you thought, “But these are all cases of being moved by negative feelings. What about positive feelings? Aren’t they one of the best parts of life? Can they run us, too?” Yes, they are one of the best parts of life. And no, they can’t run us in the same way. I have to choose my words carefully on this topic, because it’s easy to start thinking of certain emotions as good and others as bad, some as desirable and others as undesirable, and the truth is more nuanced than that. Again, what’s most important is how we relate to our emotions.
In most basic terms, negative emotions are a message that some form of conflict, resistance, or discord is occurring, and positive emotions indicate an experience of alignment, accord, or harmony. I know that sounds like good and bad, but how about we look at it this way: the Low Oil light on your dashboard indicates the potential for imminent friction and damage to your engine. Does that make the Low Oil light a bad thing? Would you prefer to put a piece of tape over it so you don’t have to see it? Auto makers would argue that this light, the equivalent of a negative emotion, is a very good thing as long as we respond to it appropriately.
It’s kind of like the Hot/Cold game, where someone tells you you’re getting closer to some treat by saying “warmer” (i.e., a positive emotion) or further away from it by saying “colder” (i.e., a negative emotion). Hot and Cold stand to be equally useful. But imagine how the game would go if, upon hearing the other player say, “colder,” you just shut down. Or you said, “I can’t do anything right!” Or, “Why do you always have to attack everything I do?!” When we behave this way in the presence of negative emotions, the whole game ends. But when we remain open, the prize is our freedom – even if it takes years to find that treat.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
P.S. I don’t mean to confuse the issue, but I feel it’s worthwhile to share a few words of non-dual perspective on the subject (garnered from several spiritual traditions). Within this dualistic world, it makes perfect sense to treat negative and positive emotions as two sides of the same coin. Or as two sides of the same mountain – the light side and the shadow side. Neither is more valid or real than the other.
But as we begin to have experiences of expanded consciousness – an awareness that transcends our everyday consciousness – positive and negative feelings may take on new meaning. If we define positive feelings as those that offer greater freedom, deeper peace, union with truth and love, these are (as I see it) an indication of alignment with our Highest Self (or God, or our Authentic Self, or Dao, or Buddha, or whatever other term you like).
The non-dual perspective is that there is no opposite to this state. That is, this (love/truth) is reality, and the negative feelings and suffering that so define the human experience emerge from our immersion in an illusion, a state of forgetfulness in which love is conditional, anything of value is bound to be lost, and we must out-compete each other for happiness. Therefore, as we expand beyond our ego-dominated awareness, negative emotions may be seen as indicators that we’ve become re-immersed in the illusion, or that our ego is attempting to regain control over our consciousness. And positive feelings (as defined above) show us that we’re in the flow, that we’re expanding, or that we’re choosing love.
While the perspective of Classical Chinese Medicine isn’t non-dual per se, it takes a similar view of classifying negative and positive emotions as fundamentally different things. The five basic “sentiments” – joy, contemplation, wonder, reflection, and vigor – are qualities we’re experience continually when we’re healthy. In contrast, the five primary negative emotions – anger, fear, joylessness (or mania), worry, and grief – are considered to be signs of imbalance. (However, if we’re able to accept and experience them readily, allowing them to move through us without resistance, this is not considered unhealthy. It’s only when they occur in an extreme or prolonged way that they become toxic.)
Finally, while we can be guided almost equally well by Hot and Cold (i.e., indicators that we’re becoming more aligned and less aligned with our truth), ultimately, we can’t be shown the whole way home through expressions of the Cold end of the spectrum (i.e., “you’re going the wrong way!”). Expect to encounter discomfort and difficulty – they don’t mean you’re on the wrong path – but if you make your choices from love rather than fear, you should also expect that increased freedom, peace, love, and joy will light the way for you.
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Lots of people are anxious about this illness – and the impact of mass hysteria – so I want to share some rational advice on what you can do to stay well in both body and mind, including some specific supplements that may help. I’ll also explain what we’re doing at our spas to make them a safe place for you and our employees.
It is our mission to create a more peaceful world through more peaceful individuals. In order to give you and our staff the best chance at peace of mind, we will be temporarily closing the Spa until further notice. We will be monitoring COVID-19 the situation closely and plan on reassessing each day with plans on reopening as soon as possible.
We invite you to join us on our Facebook group, Dragontree Community and Conversations. There, you will find community, connection, and on-going wisdom from our Founders, Dr. Peter and Briana Borten.
You can find our online community here: thedragontree.com/community
Here is a replay of our Facebook Live where we share more details on each of these points for our community.
[embed]https://www.facebook.com/TheDragontree/videos/211888856841144/[/embed]
Here are my top recommendations for staying peaceful and healthy:
- Keep Breathing. Any time you feel stressed, bring your attention back to your breath. The breath is a built-in mindfulness tool. You watch your breath come in and go out and instantly you’re in the present – rather than letting your mind run away with you. Besides simply bringing your attention to your breath throughout the day, you can also practice making your exhale very long, and as you breathe out, imagine you’re releasing tension and fear. The Vietnamese monk, Thích Nhất Hạnh, has written that many of his fellow monks lived through atrocities during the Vietnam War, but were able to maintain their sanity and inner peace through Buddhist mindfulness practices. Another reason to practice breathing is to keep your lungs strong and resilient. All day long we fall into the habit of shallow breathing. Our lungs have a capacity of about 6 liters of air, but we usually take breaths of only half a liter in size! Imagine as you inhale that you’re filling up the bowl of your pelvis, that your breath goes so deep that you can feel your hips expanding from the inside as your belly expands.
- Avoid Lung Pollutants. If you’re interested in healthy lungs, it’s a good time to stop smoking, wear a mask while doing sanding or painting or other dusty activities, and quit toxic air fresheners and cleaners. It has been theorized that the high mortality rate in China is due in part to air pollution and smoking.
- Maintain Healthy Digestion. In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the digestive system is considered to support the respiratory system (in TCM terminology, “Earth is the mother of Metal”). It’s why we find that so many kids with asthma and allergies have digestive problems, and why so many food sensitivities cause respiratory symptoms. In biomedicine, there’s a growing understanding that the lining - or epithelium - of the digestive tract, especially the intestines, has a relationship with other epithelial tissues - like the lining of the lungs. A healthy digestive tract goes hand-in-hand with healthy lungs. For this reason it’s always a good idea to follow good nutritional practices (if you don’t know what these are, check out my online course, How to Eat), including frequent consumption of fermented foods like sauerkraut and/or occasionally taking probiotics.
- Exercise. Exercise tones virtually all systems of the body, including the respiratory tract and the immune system. I recommend getting exercise of an intensity that makes your breathing labored, and ideally not doing it in frigid or polluted air. Just don’t overdo it - ideally, you’re exercising enough to build energy, not exhaust yourself.
- Avoid Sugar. Eat Nutrient Dense Foods. Sugar can increase inflammation and suppress immune function. Besides, it’s just empty calories. Many times I’ve had patients tell me about how an infection worsened dramatically after they ate a big dessert. Instead, why not make this an opportunity to eat super nourishing foods?
- Wash Your Hands and Don’t Touch Your Face. You know this, of course. Just make a rule with yourself that you don’t touch your face unless you’ve just washed your hands. And you don’t need hand sanitizer - soap and water work better. Be sure to get under your nails. Also, if you’re finding - like me - that your hands are getting dry and irritated from all this hand washing (!!) use lotion. We happen to make some that you might like.
- Get Enough Sleep. Nothing supports the immune system like a good night’s sleep. If we could all go to bed at the first inkling of sickness, much of the time we wouldn’t even get sick.
- Keep Playing and Connecting. Play has a singular value in reminding us how to be lighthearted. Even in the midst of hoarding and hysteria, we must take time to play and to connect with our loved ones and the natural world. It grounds us. It pacifies our hearts. It gives us perspective. Even if we can’t touch, we can still be connected.
- Take Supportive Nutrients and Herbs. Authorities discourage saying that anything helps the coronavirus, but there are a number of supplements that I trust as immune enhancers. I take them myself, I recommend them to my patients, and I give them to my family. I can’t promise that it will prevent or mitigate the coronavirus, but you can do your own research and decide for yourself.
- Selenium. Adequate dietary selenium helps us fight RNA viruses like COVID-19, but many parts of the country have minimal selenium in the soil, leading to crops with minimal selenium. That said, unless you’re eating everything from local farms, the selenium status of soils in your area might not say much about your selenium status. You can get selenium capsules in the form of selenomethionine. 200 micrograms a day is plenty (half that is probably enough for most people). A single Brazil nut contains about 75 micrograms of selenium, so you could also skip the pill and eat just two nuts a day.
- Jade Wind Screen. This Chinese herbal formula was first recorded in a text in 1481, so it’s been in use for 539 years. The name comes from the idea that it is a screen against “wind” - i.e., airborne pathogens. It’s intended to simultaneously strengthen the lungs and digestive system while simultaneously promoting the circulation of “defensive Qi” (superficial immune cells), and it is generally taken as a preventive supplement rather than as a treatment for sickness. TCM physicians in Wuhan have had considerable success in treating patients with COVID-19 with herbal formulas. They have developed protocols for each stage of the illness and a modified version of this formula is their basic “preventative” formula. You can find Jade Wind Screen in liquid or pill form through numerous companies. I am in the process of making a large batch of the formula as a tincture, with my own additions based roughly on the Wuhan variation. We will have it available for sale soon (at our usual tincture prices). We can’t claim that it cures or prevents COVID-19, but I have my whole family taking it, and it means something to me that TCM has a millennia-long history of treating epidemic diseases.
- Vitamin D. Blood levels of vitamin D are directly correlated with immune function, and deficiency is common, especially in the winter. I recommend - with or without the threat of coronavirus - that people take at least 35 units of vitamin D per pound of body weight per day (e.g., a 100-pound person can take 3500 IU’s of vitamin D a day).
- Vitamin C. Besides its ability to enhance immune function, vitamin C may help prevent the progression of lung infections to pneumonia and may also help to clear fluid from the lungs in active pneumonia. If you get sick, I believe vitamin C works best for infections when consumed almost to “bowel tolerance” - that is, just below the quantity that causes diarrhea. Any vitamin C is fine, but I particularly like the “liposomal” or fat-bound forms of vitamin C - they seem to be more active and have less effect on digestion.
- Vitamin A. Vitamin A enhances immune function also. I usually take a high dose of 100,000 to 200,000 units per day for the first few days of an infection and often that stops it in its tracks. Because there are reports of liver toxicity with very high doses of vitamin A for prolonged periods, I generally don’t recommend using these kinds of doses for more than a week. If you have liver problems, you should skip it. Also, large amounts of vitamin A are a bad idea for pregnant women – it can cause birth defects. (Beta carotene, which is converted by the body to vitamin A as needed, is safe for pregnant women.)
- Rhodiola. Rhodiola rosea is a mountainous herb with adaptogenic and calming properties. Taken over time, it improves our ability to adapt to stresses of all kinds. It reduces fatigue and builds resilience.
- Mushrooms. Virtually all mushrooms help improve immune function. Some of my favorites are ganoderma (reishi), maitake (grifola), agaricus blazeii, chaga, and cordyceps. Many companies now make mushroom extracts for immune support. I like Host Defense because their founder, Paul Stamets, is an expert and pioneer in the world of medicinal mushrooms.
- Sang Ju Yin. This TCM formula (also known as Mulberry Leaf and Chrysanthemum Decoction) is used by Wuhan doctors for the very earliest stage of infection - especially when there’s a dry cough, fever, and maybe a sore throat. It’s available from many companies in liquid and pill form. If you can’t procure any, a practitioner of Chinese Medicine may be able to make you some. Otherwise, our Cold & Flu Formula is a reasonable substitute.
- Lactoferrin. Lactoferrin is a protein that occurs naturally in the human body, especially in human milk (particularly the first milk, known as colostrum), saliva, tears, and other fluids. It can also be extracted from cow’s milk. It’s a powerful component of our immune system, exhibiting anti-viral, anti-fungal, and anti-bacterial activity. It’s specifically been shown to help prevent viruses like COVID-19 from entering our cells.
- If You Feel Sick, Act Fast. Whether it’s one of the supplements above or something else, have it with you at all times so that you can take it at the very first feeling that you’re unwell. Then take a nap and when you wake up, take some more! This ensures the best chance of effectiveness. Meanwhile, do the right thing and stay home until you know you’re well.
- Meditate. Meditation has a unique value in times of turmoil. It opens up space in our consciousness which helps us to not be run by our minds. We see that we’re not our thoughts, and further, that we don’t even need to believe our thoughts. We receive insights. We reset our nervous system. And we reconnect with a Self that’s more authentic, more consistent, more honest, more loving and ever-present than the unbalanced ego we’ve been giving all our attention. Meditation is the antidote to hysteria. (If you feel you need additional mood support, you might benefit from our Anxiety Herbal Formula and check out this Anxiety White Paper I wrote.)
Finally, let’s all Stay Rational. People are often talking about fatality rates of COVID-19 rather than survival rates. And for most healthy adults, your chances of surviving an infection with this virus is 99% or better. Raging and freaking out won’t help, and may even compound the stress on your system. (Forgive yourself.) Keep looking for the silver linings. Stay in touch with your community. This too shall pass!
Love,
Dr. Peter Borten
[1] How COVID-19 (2019-nCoV) is Currently Treated in China with TCM
[2] Vitamin C may affect lung infections
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"Start by doing everything you can to enjoy the food as much as possible. Give it your full attention... Savor the flavors and textures, and imagine all the good things it's going to do to your body."
What will you do to connect to your body today? Let us know in the comments below.
Ready to begin your journey? Preorder Rituals For Transformation today
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