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Desire is a confusing idea. We’re taught that desire is what leads us astray, that it makes us materialistic and unsatisfied with our lot. To be free from desire implies that we’ve achieved a state of moral and/or spiritual perfection – plus deep inner peace. On the other hand, a lack of desire might mean we’re complacent, lacking ambition, or dimwitted. After all, the reputation of every revered historical figure was rooted in strong desire – to set slaves free, to achieve peace, to get women the right to vote – and it changed the world for the better.
We’re also taught that we deserve to have and enjoy desirable things. And everyone knows that it’s important to be desirable to whomever we might want to attract or impress. Marketers have long reminded us that we’ll be undesirable to a prospective lover, boss, or college admissions officer if we have dandruff on our shirt, ring around the collar, or yellow teeth.
Clearly there’s no single correct answer to the question of whether desire is good or bad. It all depends on what’s behind that desire and how we relate to it.
A tidbit I appreciate from the work of Neale Donald Walsch is the notion that our desires tend to be “sponsored” by either love or fear. Fear-based desire is exceedingly common. It’s part of why capitalism is such a massive force in the world. Because of fear, we desire security and protection, and we’re often motivated to pursue them at the expense of growth and healing. Moved by fear of inadequacy, we might desire a flashy car or a trophy partner – whatever we perceive as signaling our prowess to others. Gripped by fear of death we desire whatever we believe will tether us to life.
Love-sponsored desire is very different. Most importantly, the quality of the energy behind it is different. If you met two people intent on changing the world, one driven by love-sponsored desire, the other by fear-sponsored desire, you couldn’t assume that the fear-driven one wants to change it in bad ways. Or that the love-driven one is going to be more effective. But if you got to know these people, you’d feel the difference and it would be written all over how they relate to life.
Which would you prefer to be driven by? Regardless of your answer (I’m going to take a wild guess and say, “love-sponsored desire”) it’s worthwhile to discern your motivations. If you discover that you’re following a course that’s dictated by fear-sponsored thoughts and desires, there’s an opportunity for liberation – from both the fear and the lifeforce-draining remedies you’re pursuing. If your desires are sponsored by fear, you’ll find that when you challenge them your mind gets defensive. And if you ask, “What if I relinquish this desire?” the response is, “Something bad will happen.”
This isn’t the case with love-sponsored desires. There’s no feeling of, “I have to do this or else!” It’s more like, “My Highest Self is calling me to do this,” and you can feel that it’s coming from love. That said, there may occasionally be cases when some form of harm is occurring and you feel moved by love to help – like getting involved to stop human trafficking or animal abuse. But the difference is, your heart will feel open.
Whereas fear-sponsored desire is rooted in one’s own subconscious thoughts, love-sponsored desire is transpersonal. That is, both its source and its scope are beyond the personality.
It’s similar to concept of iccha shakti as defined in the ancient philosophy of Nondual Shaiva Tantra (NST). A Sanskit term, iccha shakti is used commonly to mean willpower or life drive, but the NST definition is more specific. In the words of author Christopher Wallis, it’s “a precognitive creative urge toward self-expression. It is the impulse behind the manifestation of a universe and behind all artistic expression that is done for its own sake.” Like the idea of love-sponsored desire, to be an expression of iccha shakti means to be moved not by the will of the personality but by divine will that seeks expression through us.
Wallis continues: “The more we access our real innate nature, the more we can draw on the unfailing power of the divine Will. The Will seeks self-expression for no reason other than the joy inherent in the act of self-expression. If you are tapping into iccha shakti in your pursuits in life, be they dancing or computer repair, you will have a vast reservoir of energy to draw on. This is because when you are pursuing an activity as a form of self-expression, it replenishes you instead of draining you.” And I would say the same goes for being led by love-sponsored desire.
I encourage you to ask yourself some questions. At any time you feel strongly moved, you can ask, “Is this a fear-sponsored or love-sponsored thought / feeling / action?” You can also ask, “What is love sponsoring in my life?” or “Where does love want to take me?” Does your work feel connected to iccha shakti? If not, can you change how you relate to it and let love and iccha shakti be sponsors? I always enjoy hearing how these articles land with you.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Harnessing the Power of Love-Sponsored Desire
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Over the past few weeks, I’ve been writing about the fourteen main themes in our book, Rituals for Transformation. It’s a 108-day process for clearing away the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that get in the way of living a present, peaceful, ecstatic life. And it works! Let’s look at a few more of these themes now.
Self-Trust, Integrity, and the Power of the Word
Although these are three different things, they all tie together neatly. One of the main reasons people feel anxious, unsafe, or overwhelmed is that we don’t trust ourselves. The same is true for why we don’t create the life we’ve dreamed of – we don’t trust ourselves. And we don’t trust ourselves because we don’t really understand or honor the power of our word.
We use our word (mentally or aloud) to disparage ourselves and others, and to judge and complain. We use our word to make agreements (with others and ourselves) that we don’t keep. Using our word this way causes us to focus on the negative, it diminishes our integrity, and it squelches our power. This makes it difficult to trust ourselves – not only because of these effects, but also because we see ourselves doing this to ourselves.
When we’re looking at how an exceptional life is built – how we fully and consciously utilize our creative power – self-trust and integrity need to be part of the foundation. The lessons within this theme deal first with recognizing the impact of our words – how they affect both our inner experience and our outer reality. Then we move into making the choice to be intentional with our words and witnessing what happens, so that we can learn to trust ourselves and come into our power.
Self-Worth
Self-worth is closely tied to the previous theme. When we are conscious of our worth, we’re less likely to obstruct the expression of this worth by living in negative stories about ourselves, not honoring our word, thwarting our creative power, etc.
Whereas self-esteem is a value that can wax and wane, a quality that is defined in the context of our interpersonal relationships, self-worth never varies. You are Consciousness itself. You are undiminishable. You transcend every form of valuation or limitation humans have come up with. Your every moment could be spent in awe, gratitude, peace, joy, and beauty.
Most of us have a lot of programming that gets in the way of remembering this, but most of us can also access a place in our awareness where we know it’s true. The part of us that knows we didn’t come here to cower from life, or to spend our days watching Netflix, or to be always waiting for a future when things will be the way we want them to be.
When we’re conscious of our true worth, this obliterates any perception of ourselves as broken, sinful, or undeserving. Further, when we’re conscious of our worth, we want to share it. We want to serve and contribute. We want to help others experience their worth. And regardless of our ability to do this through our various acts, simply owning our self-worth is empowering to others. Or, as we say in the book, As I claim my light, so is the world illuminated.
Purpose
The next avenue for awakening, life purpose, is also connected to the two previous themes. When we have a sense of our worth, we want to live on purpose – meaning, doing things intentionally, rather than by habit or because of our conditioning. Moreover, we may want to clarify a single overarching purpose toward which the trajectory of our life is aligned.
Sometimes this happens in the reverse order. That is, we’re not really conscious of our worth to begin with, but we choose a purpose anyway and start living in alignment with it, and then we witness our worth in the world – in the eyes of our fellow humans.
The idea of life purpose can be daunting sometimes. Many of our students have expressed concern that they can’t figure it out or it might be wrong. Given that most people have lived without any intentional purpose so far, choosing and living in accordance with any noble purpose feels significant. Only by choosing and living a particular purpose can we discover what happens when we give ourselves over to the guidance of Spirit (our Higher Self). Resources come to us, momentum builds, and we find ourselves in a flow state.
If these concepts sound appealing to you, I would love for you to join us in this process! It’s only 108 days, and it takes just a few minutes each morning and night, plus a willingness to keep the lesson in mind throughout your daily activities. You can do it. And you’ll be a freer, lighter, more self-aware person on the other side.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Claim your Light and Illuminate the World
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Briana recorded this video a few years ago, knowing how important holding space is, and knew that one day she'd create a whole course around it. The Dragontree Life Coaching Program is that course, and the Illuminator Retreat is where our coaches gather to hone their skills, practice them, and see the power of it all magically unfold in their lives and the lives of others.
But holding space isn't just for coaches - it's for everyone - we can use it anytime we want to support someone we care about, to give them the space they need to figure out their own way.
We're preparing for our August Illuminator Retreat now, and wanted to share this video about Holding Space so that you can apply this vital skill in your own daily life, no course or retreat required.
Please share your thoughts, experiences, and questions about holding space in the comments below!
[post_title] => Conversations with Briana: Holding Space
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Desire is a confusing idea. We’re taught that desire is what leads us astray, that it makes us materialistic and unsatisfied with our lot. To be free from desire implies that we’ve achieved a state of moral and/or spiritual perfection – plus deep inner peace. On the other hand, a lack of desire might mean we’re complacent, lacking ambition, or dimwitted. After all, the reputation of every revered historical figure was rooted in strong desire – to set slaves free, to achieve peace, to get women the right to vote – and it changed the world for the better.
We’re also taught that we deserve to have and enjoy desirable things. And everyone knows that it’s important to be desirable to whomever we might want to attract or impress. Marketers have long reminded us that we’ll be undesirable to a prospective lover, boss, or college admissions officer if we have dandruff on our shirt, ring around the collar, or yellow teeth.
Clearly there’s no single correct answer to the question of whether desire is good or bad. It all depends on what’s behind that desire and how we relate to it.
A tidbit I appreciate from the work of Neale Donald Walsch is the notion that our desires tend to be “sponsored” by either love or fear. Fear-based desire is exceedingly common. It’s part of why capitalism is such a massive force in the world. Because of fear, we desire security and protection, and we’re often motivated to pursue them at the expense of growth and healing. Moved by fear of inadequacy, we might desire a flashy car or a trophy partner – whatever we perceive as signaling our prowess to others. Gripped by fear of death we desire whatever we believe will tether us to life.
Love-sponsored desire is very different. Most importantly, the quality of the energy behind it is different. If you met two people intent on changing the world, one driven by love-sponsored desire, the other by fear-sponsored desire, you couldn’t assume that the fear-driven one wants to change it in bad ways. Or that the love-driven one is going to be more effective. But if you got to know these people, you’d feel the difference and it would be written all over how they relate to life.
Which would you prefer to be driven by? Regardless of your answer (I’m going to take a wild guess and say, “love-sponsored desire”) it’s worthwhile to discern your motivations. If you discover that you’re following a course that’s dictated by fear-sponsored thoughts and desires, there’s an opportunity for liberation – from both the fear and the lifeforce-draining remedies you’re pursuing. If your desires are sponsored by fear, you’ll find that when you challenge them your mind gets defensive. And if you ask, “What if I relinquish this desire?” the response is, “Something bad will happen.”
This isn’t the case with love-sponsored desires. There’s no feeling of, “I have to do this or else!” It’s more like, “My Highest Self is calling me to do this,” and you can feel that it’s coming from love. That said, there may occasionally be cases when some form of harm is occurring and you feel moved by love to help – like getting involved to stop human trafficking or animal abuse. But the difference is, your heart will feel open.
Whereas fear-sponsored desire is rooted in one’s own subconscious thoughts, love-sponsored desire is transpersonal. That is, both its source and its scope are beyond the personality.
It’s similar to concept of iccha shakti as defined in the ancient philosophy of Nondual Shaiva Tantra (NST). A Sanskit term, iccha shakti is used commonly to mean willpower or life drive, but the NST definition is more specific. In the words of author Christopher Wallis, it’s “a precognitive creative urge toward self-expression. It is the impulse behind the manifestation of a universe and behind all artistic expression that is done for its own sake.” Like the idea of love-sponsored desire, to be an expression of iccha shakti means to be moved not by the will of the personality but by divine will that seeks expression through us.
Wallis continues: “The more we access our real innate nature, the more we can draw on the unfailing power of the divine Will. The Will seeks self-expression for no reason other than the joy inherent in the act of self-expression. If you are tapping into iccha shakti in your pursuits in life, be they dancing or computer repair, you will have a vast reservoir of energy to draw on. This is because when you are pursuing an activity as a form of self-expression, it replenishes you instead of draining you.” And I would say the same goes for being led by love-sponsored desire.
I encourage you to ask yourself some questions. At any time you feel strongly moved, you can ask, “Is this a fear-sponsored or love-sponsored thought / feeling / action?” You can also ask, “What is love sponsoring in my life?” or “Where does love want to take me?” Does your work feel connected to iccha shakti? If not, can you change how you relate to it and let love and iccha shakti be sponsors? I always enjoy hearing how these articles land with you.
Be well,
Peter
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