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We’re living in a time when the bulk of news headlines are threatening in some way. Whether it’s the pandemic, wildfires, climate change, storms, or political corruption, there’s always bad news, and when we expose ourselves to it, it’s natural for our survival instincts to be triggered. Living in “survival mode” inevitably takes us out of the present and profoundly degrades our quality of life.
I’ve been writing this series on longevity to help guide people in the opposite direction – to help stoke the love of life. Of course, as I said at the beginning, it’s possible to desire longevity from a place a fear. That’s why my first recommendation was “live for now and love life.” Quality of life trumps duration.
My second recommendation was to work, stretch, and relax each and every part of ourselves on a regular basis. My third recommendation was to dance on a regular basis and to explore its potential as a tool for healing, self-awareness, and spiritual connection. You can read those articles on our blog. Let’s continue.
#4: Be Discriminating About Your Media Consumption and Take Regular Fasts
As I said above, it’s easy to be influenced by what we’re exposed to and when it comes to news media the impact is almost never positive.
The challenge is that we can become addicted to it. The addiction may be fueled by a number of mechanisms. First, almost all humans have an appetite for conflict. Even though it can be stressful, there’s also energy in the drama of it. It’s exciting and polarizing. It also feeds what Eckhart Tolle has called our “pain body” – the part of our being that feeds on pain and yearns for more when life gets too peaceful.
Second, we may be addicted to news because we believe it’s vital to stay informed – even if it doesn’t change anything about our behavior. Being informed gets us social approval in some circles, and it helps us feel we’re prepared for disaster.
Third, we may be addicted to news because we’re hoping something good will come along. It’s like the stretched, desperate feeling that occurs when we’re on a losing streak at a casino. The mind thinks, “My luck has to turn around sometime! I can’t stop now!” A similar mentality can push us to read more and more news, hoping to come across a point of view that puts us at ease.
News media have always been primarily a source of bad feelings. Now this is compounded by a new problem – not only is the news mostly dire, it also no longer serves as a trustworthy source of facts. There was a time when journalists prided themselves on unbiased investigation and deadpan delivery of the facts untainted by even an ounce of personal opinion. Today, too many people consume highly biased media and believe this qualifies as factual news.
Media fasts are an important part of psychological self-care. I recommend fasting for at least one full day each week and avoiding all media (music is okay) until after breakfast. If your mind protests, give sincere consideration to what you gain from news – and movies, articles, and other media – that’s violent, depressing, or otherwise makes you feel bad or “keyed up” afterwards. If you’re not in a position to process it in a calm, healthy way or take meaningful action to help, then it’s only degrading you.
Try to become aware of the compulsion to consume negative and sensational media. Virtually all of it is stressful. The repercussions of this stress can be insidious – low energy, distraction, difficulty making decisions, anxiety, depression, sleep disturbance, irritability, poor and impulsive eating choices, and a shorter lifespan.
When you choose to consume news, make sure that it really is an intentional choice – not just something to pass the time while you’re sitting on the toilet or riding the bus. Do your homework – find truly unbiased sources and draw your own conclusions. Be wary of any “reporter” who seems intent on telling you what to think. Hint: almost nothing you find on YouTube qualifies. Take advantage of your library – there are countless free audiobooks and music albums available.
Please share in the comments section about what kind of media fast you’re going to commit to. Then tell us what happened in your time away from it. Did the world end? Did you feel free and happy? We’d love to know.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Fasting for Longevity
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Welcome to the final installment in my series on longevity. We’ve covered a lot over the past few months! Here’s a recap: (1) Love life and live for the present (2) Work, stretch, and relax all parts of yourself (3) Dance with consciousness (4) Reduce media consumption (5) Pay attention to your breathing (6) Eat less (7) Prioritize community and service (8) Exchange love and touch (9) Optimize your sleep (10) Laugh more (11) Keep your heart open (12) Simplify (13) Go with the flow / don’t resist (14) Be one with Nature. (15) Keep growing (16) Know your pain body (17) Invite the spiritual dimension into your life. And now for my last three recommendations.
#18: Be an Optimist.
Optimism has measurable positive impacts on physical and psychological health. Some people are born optimists and it comes naturally for them to always look on the bright side. What a**holes, right? 😉 If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. The fact is, even if you were born such a curmudgeon that you can’t see the bright side of a lightbulb, you can choose to become an optimist today. Remember that “growth mindset” we talked about? Sure, optimism is a lucky inheritance for some, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be cultivated.
To a great extent optimism and pessimism are habits of attention, and what you put your attention on grows. If you want to be an optimist, start putting your attention on what’s working, what’s good, beautiful, fascinating, or fortuitous. Pick something and take a moment to appreciate it. Hit your inner “save button.” Amplify it. Comment on it out loud – to yourself or whomever is nearby.
Feel how it lifts you up a little. Then go with this springiness and see if there’s another good thing you can be aware of. Bounce from one gift to the next. If nothing sweet or wonderful jumps out at you, create a sweet event. Hand someone a flower, pay someone’s bus fare, offer a compliment. Meanwhile, as important as focusing on the good is noticing when you’re focusing on the bad. Then, as efficiently as possible, pick up your attention, put it on something else, and let go of whatever you were focusing on. You can change your habits.
#19: Forgive.
Little consumes life force as much as holding onto grievances, whether they’re with ourselves, other people, or the world. Withheld forgiveness is a primary expression of the pain body (our addiction to pain and conflict) we talked about last week, but I chose to cover forgiveness as a separate item on this list because it’s just so important.
Our resentments cause us pain while stealing our power and attention. Moreover, everything we resent eventually hardens within our physical and/or energetic being as a sort of concretion. You might think of it as a knot or blockage. Conversely, forgiveness is the relinquishment of a false idea – the idea that condemnation is a force for constructive change – and it opens and frees us.
Like the concept of resistance I discussed in part nine of this series, I feel I could write a whole book about forgiveness, but in the interest of your time, I’ll bottom line it. Opportunities for forgiveness are everywhere. Start noticing your grievances with all sorts of elements of your life – from the obvious to the very subtle – and forgive them. Don’t expect it to be something you’ll do once and it will never come back. Forgiveness is a commitment to keep forgiving. Over and over. Let it go, let it go, let it go. Feel the peace that comes from this act. Set yourself free and set the world free.
#20: Love Yourself.
If you seek longevity, I believe it’s worth looking closely at who it is that you wish to have a longer life and how you feel about this creature. Look in a mirror. Do you love that being dearly? Have you forgiven and accepted them in their entirety – for everything they are and all they’ve ever done? Do you want the best for them in all situations? Do you treat them lovingly in terms of how you feed them, how you groom them and clothe them, how you exercise them, how you regard them and speak inwardly to them? Are you your own biggest cheerleader?
If the answer is “no” to any of these questions, sadly, you’re in excellent company with most of the world. What a tragedy that we’re given a life and a vehicle for that life, and from such an early age we learn to withhold love from it.
The withholding of love from ourselves is mostly fueled by an internalization of the parent/child dynamic (where the parent role could be informed by any adults from our early life). We become our own inner parent (more like a vicious tyrant at times), deeming ourselves underserving of love for all the ways in which we don’t match some unattainable template of perfection. Withholding love from certain parts of us while conditionally loving the other parts (as long as they don’t get pimples or say the wrong thing) fragments us.
The path to self-love involves a lot of forgiveness. What parts of yourself have you disapproved of, rejected, or even denied the existence of? Find all the unloved pieces, forgive them, and let your love enter them, envelop them, and include them in your emerging sense of self. Forgive yourself for condemning and withholding love from these parts of yourself. Visualize your reintegration.
Use your broader forgiveness practice to learn where you may be withholding self-love. What aspects of the world do you condemn? What qualities in others do you resent? Can you find those same qualities within yourself? Yes, it’s work. But it’s work worth doing.
This concludes our exploration of the factors that contribute to longevity and life enrichment. There are always exceptions – like the rare centenarian who drinks whiskey for breakfast and doesn’t abide by any of the recommendations on this list – but I figure we might as well hedge our bets and follow these practices to the best of our ability. Also, my focus all along has been to help you get more life out of this life right now – regardless of how much longer it lasts.
I always love getting into conversation with you. Did I miss a good one? What do you plan to do with your newly lengthened life? Share your thoughts about this subject with me and our community.
Be well,
Peter
P.S. If you’re someone who likes to see everything in one place, here’s the whole list for review:
- Love life and live for the present
- Work, stretch, and relax all parts of yourself
- Dance with consciousness
- Reduce media consumption
- Pay attention to your breathing
- Eat less
- Prioritize community and service
- Exchange love and touch
- Optimize your sleep
- Laugh more
- Keep your heart open
- Simplify
- Go with the flow / don’t resist
- Be one with Nature
- Keep growing
- Know your pain body
- Invite the spiritual dimension into your life.
- Be an optimist
- Forgive
- Love yourself
[post_title] => Three Final Keys to Living Longer and Happier
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[post_date] => 2021-03-19 16:39:27
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I believe that anyone can find ways to evolve and do their personal development work through whatever career they have. Whether you’re a custodian, a farmer, or the CEO of a lollipop company, you’ll inevitably encounter challenges that will push you to stretch and grow. And you will encounter opportunity after opportunity to demonstrate the kind of person you choose to be.
I often tell this to clients who are stuck in jobs they despise. I’m not glib about it; I know it’s not usually an easy shift of perspective to make. But sometimes it’s only when the suffering becomes insufferable that we avail ourselves of heroic powers and resources that were seemingly hidden before.
That said, I wouldn’t recommend deliberately putting yourself in a toxic environment just to facilitate your evolution. If you can find work you enjoy that pays your bills while in the company of decent folks, I say take it. Although there may not be a dire need to tap into your latent sainthood in order to survive there, pain isn’t the only thing that stimulates growth.
I’ve often said that one of the things I love most about being a healer and teacher is that my professional work and my personal (internal) work are so often unified. If I want to be a more effective healer and a better teacher, sure I could learn more techniques, but the highest outcome for everyone involved would result from my routinely “cleaning house” and actively choosing to be my best self. I ask myself questions like, Am I being present or departing to go elsewhere in my mind? Am I listening to the person in front of me, or just my own mental interpretations? Am I communicating in a way that’s true, kind, and necessary?
These are questions we can ask ourselves in any environment, but some settings lend themselves to this kind of inquiry. For me, while I was driven to do personal inquiry before I got into medicine, it waxed and waned, and I’ve found my career to be a great catalyst.
If you find it appealing to have a career that directly asks you to work on yourself, consider being a life coach through our training program. Even if you’re not in the market for a career change, we’ve had numerous participants who have done the training to bring a new perspective and skill set to their current workplace. And if being a coach doesn’t sound appealing, but the personal work does, then check out Sacred Expansion. It’s the preliminary portion of the Dragontree Life Coach training, and can be done independently. It’s an eight-week course for finding your authentic self and clearing the stuff that gets in the way of living as this divine being.
So much love,
Peter
[post_title] => Let Your Outer Work Be Your Inner Work
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We’re living in a time when the bulk of news headlines are threatening in some way. Whether it’s the pandemic, wildfires, climate change, storms, or political corruption, there’s always bad news, and when we expose ourselves to it, it’s natural for our survival instincts to be triggered. Living in “survival mode” inevitably takes us out of the present and profoundly degrades our quality of life.
I’ve been writing this series on longevity to help guide people in the opposite direction – to help stoke the love of life. Of course, as I said at the beginning, it’s possible to desire longevity from a place a fear. That’s why my first recommendation was “live for now and love life.” Quality of life trumps duration.
My second recommendation was to work, stretch, and relax each and every part of ourselves on a regular basis. My third recommendation was to dance on a regular basis and to explore its potential as a tool for healing, self-awareness, and spiritual connection. You can read those articles on our blog. Let’s continue.
#4: Be Discriminating About Your Media Consumption and Take Regular Fasts
As I said above, it’s easy to be influenced by what we’re exposed to and when it comes to news media the impact is almost never positive.
The challenge is that we can become addicted to it. The addiction may be fueled by a number of mechanisms. First, almost all humans have an appetite for conflict. Even though it can be stressful, there’s also energy in the drama of it. It’s exciting and polarizing. It also feeds what Eckhart Tolle has called our “pain body” – the part of our being that feeds on pain and yearns for more when life gets too peaceful.
Second, we may be addicted to news because we believe it’s vital to stay informed – even if it doesn’t change anything about our behavior. Being informed gets us social approval in some circles, and it helps us feel we’re prepared for disaster.
Third, we may be addicted to news because we’re hoping something good will come along. It’s like the stretched, desperate feeling that occurs when we’re on a losing streak at a casino. The mind thinks, “My luck has to turn around sometime! I can’t stop now!” A similar mentality can push us to read more and more news, hoping to come across a point of view that puts us at ease.
News media have always been primarily a source of bad feelings. Now this is compounded by a new problem – not only is the news mostly dire, it also no longer serves as a trustworthy source of facts. There was a time when journalists prided themselves on unbiased investigation and deadpan delivery of the facts untainted by even an ounce of personal opinion. Today, too many people consume highly biased media and believe this qualifies as factual news.
Media fasts are an important part of psychological self-care. I recommend fasting for at least one full day each week and avoiding all media (music is okay) until after breakfast. If your mind protests, give sincere consideration to what you gain from news – and movies, articles, and other media – that’s violent, depressing, or otherwise makes you feel bad or “keyed up” afterwards. If you’re not in a position to process it in a calm, healthy way or take meaningful action to help, then it’s only degrading you.
Try to become aware of the compulsion to consume negative and sensational media. Virtually all of it is stressful. The repercussions of this stress can be insidious – low energy, distraction, difficulty making decisions, anxiety, depression, sleep disturbance, irritability, poor and impulsive eating choices, and a shorter lifespan.
When you choose to consume news, make sure that it really is an intentional choice – not just something to pass the time while you’re sitting on the toilet or riding the bus. Do your homework – find truly unbiased sources and draw your own conclusions. Be wary of any “reporter” who seems intent on telling you what to think. Hint: almost nothing you find on YouTube qualifies. Take advantage of your library – there are countless free audiobooks and music albums available.
Please share in the comments section about what kind of media fast you’re going to commit to. Then tell us what happened in your time away from it. Did the world end? Did you feel free and happy? We’d love to know.
Be well,
Peter
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