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[post_content] => One of the most gratifying parts of my work is getting to watch people support each other using the concepts we teach in our books and courses (and, of course, their own gifts and experience). There are about 11,000 people in the online groups we established, and witnessing the ways they help each other achieve goals and work through challenges makes my heart swell. Often, someone will post about a dilemma, and the responses that other participants offer are at least as clear and healing as anything I could have come up with.
There are some common stumbling blocks, and one that comes up frequently is the topic of forgiveness. We often view forgiveness as equivalent to giving a gift to someone who wronged us – why would we ever want to do that? And when there’s no obvious offense in one’s history, it can be difficult to grasp what or why we might want to forgive.
As we see it, the need for forgiveness lies in our own freedom. All the hostages we hold in our minds – the unforgiven perpetrators of real or imagined crimes; ourselves, for our past and current mistakes, our imperfect body, our imperfect dietary habits, etc.; the world, for being ugly at times, or corrupt, or unfair, or threatening . . .
all of this internal disapproval amounts to a major infringement on our own experience of life. We forgive in order to set ourselves free. And in setting ourselves free, we support others to do the same.
If you’d like some support with forgiveness, Briana is leading a (free) guided forgiveness meditation on the Dragontree Facebook page tomorrow (Wednesday, November 1st) at 4:30 Pacific Time, and I highly encourage you to check it out.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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[post_content] => It’s almost time for the Thanksgiving feast, and I know many people feel it’s a challenge to avoid gorging themselves and feeling guilty. So I’d like to offer some thoughts on the subject, along with a great recipe for a vegetarian gravy that’s (somewhat) healthier than the usual stuff but every bit as delectable.
This recipe came originally from my wife Briana’s grandfather John Moore, passed down by her dad, also John Moore, to her, and by association to me. There’s something special about following these family recipes – even if they change over time. At the start, deliciousness was the only guiding principle. Then Briana wanted to make it vegetarian, and I wanted to make the flavor a bit more complex and add some spices that might even help to balance digestive-overwhelm.
First let’s talk about overeating and feeling guilty. I’ve written about this in the past, and I’ll say it again: the single most healthful change a person can make to how they eat is to stay fully present during the act of eating.
More than keto or intermittent fasting or veganism or any other diet, being totally engaged and conscious while eating will automatically change how you eat, what you eat, and how you feel afterwards. Furthermore, it will teach you what does and doesn’t work for your body, and it will add a whole new dimension of depth and connection to the act of nourishing yourself. I’ve known people to spontaneously abandon unhealthy behaviors like gambling and codependent relationships when they became more awake to their nutrition and allowed themselves to experience all facets of that process – being both the loving giver and the grateful receiver of their own loving care.
I know there’s going to be good conversation and an abundance of excellent food. Staying conscious while eating doesn’t mean you can’t have it all. In fact, you’ll actually have a more fulfilling experience of all of it – both the food and the company – if you stay present. It might take twice as long to eat half as much food, but you’ll be able to walk away from the table rather than hobbling.
Now for the recipe. As it’s presented below, it contains gluten and dairy, but it can easily be modified to have neither.
Ingredients:
- Butter – ¾ to 1 cup (a stick of butter is a half cup) – or ghee, or coconut oil, or vegan butter substitute
- Onion – half to whole, depending on how much you like onion – finely diced
- Mushrooms (optional) – any kind, though I prefer crimini or another variety that isn’t chewy – approximately 1 cup, finely diced
- Garlic – 5 cloves, crushed
- Flour (normal or gluten-free) – ¾ cup to 1 cup – roughly the same amount of flour as the amount of butter you used
- Vegetable broth – 4 cups (have a few more cups on hand). I like the Better Than Bouillon Organic Vegetable Base and Organic Mushroom Base, and I often mix the two together. It comes in a glass jar and one jar makes many cups of broth, so it’s tasty, compact in your fridge, and eco-friendly.
- Soy sauce or tamari (gluten free soy sauce) – 4 tablespoons
- Worcestershire sauce (optional) – 1 to 2 teaspoons – note, it usually contains anchovies
- Rosemary, chopped – approximately 1 tablespoon fresh or 1 teaspoon dried
- Sage, chopped – approximately 1 tablespoon fresh or 1 teaspoon dried
- Fresh ginger – finely grated – approximately 1 tablespoon
- Nutritional yeast (optional) – 1 to 2 tablespoons
- Good quality salt and black pepper
Directions:
In a large deep pan over medium heat, sautee the onion, mushroom (if using), and garlic in the butter (or butter alternative) until it begins to brown (about 5 minutes).
Slowly add the flour, soy sauce or tamari, nutritional yeast (if using), and worcestershire sauce (if using). Work it with a spoon or spatula to form a smooth paste. Stir occasionally, allow it to become evenly browned.
Gradually add the broth, using a whisk or hand blender to blend it with the flour paste.
Add the ginger, sage, and rosemary, bring to a boil, then immediately reduce to a simmer, and simmer low for about 5 minutes.
At this point the gravy should be delicious and an ideal consistency.
If you need to thin it, add more broth or (if you don’t want to make it more salty) hot water.
If you want to thicken it, add more flour to a small amount of broth in a bowl and whisk or hand blend to make smooth, then add and continue to whisk into the gravy until the desired consistency is achieved. If it’s much too thin, this could also be achieved with corn starch or arrowroot powder – mix 1 tablespoon at a time in a small amount of water or broth until dissolved, then add to the gravy and bring to a boil again, stirring constantly. Repeat as necessary to thicken further.
If you want to give it more kick, add extra ginger, garlic, black pepper, or crushed red pepper.
If it’s not salty enough, add either more salt, or (if it needs more body altogether) add more soy sauce or tamari.
If it lacks body, you may add additional nutritional yeast, a little powdered clove, or a pinch of garam masala.
Serve abundantly over virtually everything or drink by the glass. If you make this gravy I’d love to know how it turns out – along with whatever of your own modifications made it even better! And if you experiment with eating mindfully, I would love to know what’s different about the eating process and how you feel afterwards. Also, when you practice mindful eating, what obstacles do you encounter?
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Mind-Blowingly Good Vegetarian Gravy – and How to Leave the Table Feeling Good
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[post_content] =>
What do you like about your anxiety?
This is a question I’ve asked many of my patients. Unsurprisingly, almost everyone’s initial response is “nothing.” But over time (especially in people who are determined to get the most out of their unpleasant experiences) I’ve seen anxiety become a gift that re-orients people in a profound way.
I’ve learned many strategies for managing anxiety directly, some of which I shared in my
last article. They can really help. However, my greatest intention isn’t merely that we can effectively manage anxiety when it arises, but that our basic orientation is to be attuned to what’s good, what’s working, and what we
love about life.
So this time I’m going to share self-care practices to guide you back to the love beneath that fear.
It’s true that fear isn’t usually a
healthy expression of love, but sometimes it is – like when love spurs fear in a parent and they rush into harm’s way to save a child. Most of the time we’re afraid, though, the underlying love is so contorted by the mind that it doesn’t feel like love at all. It just feels nasty and horrible, and we get into a vicious circle whereby the feeling prompts fearful thoughts and the thoughts heighten the feelings, and so on.
But deeper than all of that craziness, we love life, we love ourselves, and we love others. I would like to invite you this week to bring your anxious feelings back to the loving point of their origin.
1) Practice good posture. Having a straight spine automatically helps you to breathe more fully. It also has a subtle effect on your mood. It’s easier to feel threatened, weak, or like a victim when you’re slouching; conversely, when you sit or stand tall, with a straight spine, you’ll naturally feel clearer and more confident.
2) State the facts (in the morning and always). What you do in the morning affects your whole day, so start with a brief and enthusiastic session of truth telling. What is good right now? Are you alive? Are you breathing? Did the sun rise again? Do you have enough to eat? Say it.
Who do you choose to be today? A light-hearted person? A truth-telling person? An emissary of love in the world? A devoted servant to the highest good of the world? Say it.
Pausing, noticing, and stating the facts about what’s good in your life is like hitting the save button. It programs your mind to continue to spot the good stuff. It reconfigures you for peace.
And stating the facts during fearful times is like becoming a warrior with a razor sharp sword. With your loving fierceness, you cut through the collective illusions and emotional fog, reminding yourself and others,
We didn’t jump into the world just so we could cower from life. The truth is bigger (and better) than the story we’re telling each other.
3) Get connected to the elements. Spend time in nature, ideally including some direct contact of skin to earth and natural bodies of water. Some people with anxiety also report that they feel much better with sun exposure. Others feel a benefit from sitting in front of a fire or even several candles. Besides helping to realign you with the rhythm of the natural world, it’s also a nice break from your electronic devices and media.
4) Establish a daily routine and stick to it. Predictability helps stabilize a wayward mind and helps the body get into a consistent rhythm. This means setting a regular bedtime and wake time, having meals at the same time each day, exercising on a regular basis at the same time, meditating at the same time, bathing at the same time, etc. Of course, your routine shouldn’t be strict in a way that generates stress if you stray from it – it’s something you do out of kindness for yourself.
5) Love actively. There’s no use in trying to obliterate fear. That would be like trying to destroy the sound of ‘middle C’ on a piano. Fear is a frequency of energy. No matter how you train yourself to cut it out of your life, you can always call it up again. Instead, focus on the love beneath.
What do you
love that your mind tells you is threatened? Give your attention to loving what you love instead. Love is so much stronger and bigger than fear, and unlike fear, love is a unifying and creative force. If you’re out of practice, find the things that are easiest to love, like kittens and donuts, and feel the love opening your heart. Then practice expanding that love to envelop yourself, your neighbor, your houseplants . . . and your fear. Then go bigger.
All along, keep opening your heart. Just imagine it opening like a golden ring in the center of your chest. Learn to feel when it closes, and patiently open it again and again and again.
Love will prevail. Always.
Dr. Peter Borten
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[post_content] => One of the most gratifying parts of my work is getting to watch people support each other using the concepts we teach in our books and courses (and, of course, their own gifts and experience). There are about 11,000 people in the online groups we established, and witnessing the ways they help each other achieve goals and work through challenges makes my heart swell. Often, someone will post about a dilemma, and the responses that other participants offer are at least as clear and healing as anything I could have come up with.
There are some common stumbling blocks, and one that comes up frequently is the topic of forgiveness. We often view forgiveness as equivalent to giving a gift to someone who wronged us – why would we ever want to do that? And when there’s no obvious offense in one’s history, it can be difficult to grasp what or why we might want to forgive.
As we see it, the need for forgiveness lies in our own freedom. All the hostages we hold in our minds – the unforgiven perpetrators of real or imagined crimes; ourselves, for our past and current mistakes, our imperfect body, our imperfect dietary habits, etc.; the world, for being ugly at times, or corrupt, or unfair, or threatening . . .
all of this internal disapproval amounts to a major infringement on our own experience of life. We forgive in order to set ourselves free. And in setting ourselves free, we support others to do the same.
If you’d like some support with forgiveness, Briana is leading a (free) guided forgiveness meditation on the Dragontree Facebook page tomorrow (Wednesday, November 1st) at 4:30 Pacific Time, and I highly encourage you to check it out.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
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