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“All know that the drop merges into the ocean, but few know that the ocean merges into the drop.” - Kabir
Do you know that sensation of being in a room and feeling the entire atmosphere shift when someone walks in? I suppose we all have different degrees of sensitivity to this, but I’m sure you’ve had that experience. For me, it’s particularly obvious if it’s someone I’m close to and they walk in fuming with anger or overcome with sadness. Before they even speak I can feel a palpable change in the energy of the room. It’s as though their energetic wave is crashing on the shore of my own. When I’m well rested and grounded I maintain my ability to let that wave pass right through me, creating a ripple that returns to stillness, I can stay centered letting them have their own feelings. When I’m stressed out, overtired, and overworked that wave can unsteady me or even knock me right off my feet and carry me away.
We all have so much in common. The atoms that make up our body’s molecules, and the iron that courses through our veins all have a shared origin in the explosion of stars. We’re all connected through biology, shared history, and geography - floating together on this tiny blue marble together. We share many of the values that define our humanity - to have purpose, to feel fulfilled, to be healthy, to be happy, and to be safe even though we may disagree on the form those values take. We’re all born, we all die and we’re all connected by the atoms and the molecules that course through us, and through everything, like tiny points of light illuminating our life.
Our thoughts, feelings and actions have vibrations that send ripples into the world around us. Did you know that the electromagnetic field of your heartbeat can be measured several feet outside of your body with specialized equipment? We’re literally sending waves of our presence out around us.
The energy of the people around us can affect our emotions and our strength in a very tangible way. This is why I’m so intent on choosing the people I surround myself thoughtfully. I want a community that helps me laugh more, helps me feel more connected to what’s real and most important, and who I can turn to when I need help.
With a supportive community, we can harness power to give us courage, boost our own energy reserves, jump higher, or run farther. When we’re surrounded by the energy of a group we commit more fully, we engage more deeply, and it increases our own capacity to do whatever it is that we want to do. We’re held more accountable to the way that we show up in the world.
Many people feel at a loss to find the time or opportunity to create a community that helps them with their deepest challenges and lifts them to their highest potential. We don’t always find that in the communities where we engage the most like the family we’re born into, or in our workplace.
Are you ready to access the level of energy that becomes available with support? We have so much power when we share a common goal. Look at all the ways, for good and bad, that we have shaped our planet. Everyone is participating in the creation of their reality, whether they like it or not they’re always involved in molding it. Our combined strength has raw elemental force when it is channeled.
Come check out
Love Rising, a facilitated group to help you tap into your innate gifts to shape the world you want to be a part of.
Love,
Briana
Discover the Love Rising Collective
[post_title] => When the Ocean Merges into the Drop
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Welcome to the final installment in my series on longevity. We’ve covered a lot over the past few months! Here’s a recap: (1) Love life and live for the present (2) Work, stretch, and relax all parts of yourself (3) Dance with consciousness (4) Reduce media consumption (5) Pay attention to your breathing (6) Eat less (7) Prioritize community and service (8) Exchange love and touch (9) Optimize your sleep (10) Laugh more (11) Keep your heart open (12) Simplify (13) Go with the flow / don’t resist (14) Be one with Nature. (15) Keep growing (16) Know your pain body (17) Invite the spiritual dimension into your life. And now for my last three recommendations.
#18: Be an Optimist.
Optimism has measurable positive impacts on physical and psychological health. Some people are born optimists and it comes naturally for them to always look on the bright side. What a**holes, right? 😉 If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. The fact is, even if you were born such a curmudgeon that you can’t see the bright side of a lightbulb, you can choose to become an optimist today. Remember that “growth mindset” we talked about? Sure, optimism is a lucky inheritance for some, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be cultivated.
To a great extent optimism and pessimism are habits of attention, and what you put your attention on grows. If you want to be an optimist, start putting your attention on what’s working, what’s good, beautiful, fascinating, or fortuitous. Pick something and take a moment to appreciate it. Hit your inner “save button.” Amplify it. Comment on it out loud – to yourself or whomever is nearby.
Feel how it lifts you up a little. Then go with this springiness and see if there’s another good thing you can be aware of. Bounce from one gift to the next. If nothing sweet or wonderful jumps out at you, create a sweet event. Hand someone a flower, pay someone’s bus fare, offer a compliment. Meanwhile, as important as focusing on the good is noticing when you’re focusing on the bad. Then, as efficiently as possible, pick up your attention, put it on something else, and let go of whatever you were focusing on. You can change your habits.
#19: Forgive.
Little consumes life force as much as holding onto grievances, whether they’re with ourselves, other people, or the world. Withheld forgiveness is a primary expression of the pain body (our addiction to pain and conflict) we talked about last week, but I chose to cover forgiveness as a separate item on this list because it’s just so important.
Our resentments cause us pain while stealing our power and attention. Moreover, everything we resent eventually hardens within our physical and/or energetic being as a sort of concretion. You might think of it as a knot or blockage. Conversely, forgiveness is the relinquishment of a false idea – the idea that condemnation is a force for constructive change – and it opens and frees us.
Like the concept of resistance I discussed in part nine of this series, I feel I could write a whole book about forgiveness, but in the interest of your time, I’ll bottom line it. Opportunities for forgiveness are everywhere. Start noticing your grievances with all sorts of elements of your life – from the obvious to the very subtle – and forgive them. Don’t expect it to be something you’ll do once and it will never come back. Forgiveness is a commitment to keep forgiving. Over and over. Let it go, let it go, let it go. Feel the peace that comes from this act. Set yourself free and set the world free.
#20: Love Yourself.
If you seek longevity, I believe it’s worth looking closely at who it is that you wish to have a longer life and how you feel about this creature. Look in a mirror. Do you love that being dearly? Have you forgiven and accepted them in their entirety – for everything they are and all they’ve ever done? Do you want the best for them in all situations? Do you treat them lovingly in terms of how you feed them, how you groom them and clothe them, how you exercise them, how you regard them and speak inwardly to them? Are you your own biggest cheerleader?
If the answer is “no” to any of these questions, sadly, you’re in excellent company with most of the world. What a tragedy that we’re given a life and a vehicle for that life, and from such an early age we learn to withhold love from it.
The withholding of love from ourselves is mostly fueled by an internalization of the parent/child dynamic (where the parent role could be informed by any adults from our early life). We become our own inner parent (more like a vicious tyrant at times), deeming ourselves underserving of love for all the ways in which we don’t match some unattainable template of perfection. Withholding love from certain parts of us while conditionally loving the other parts (as long as they don’t get pimples or say the wrong thing) fragments us.
The path to self-love involves a lot of forgiveness. What parts of yourself have you disapproved of, rejected, or even denied the existence of? Find all the unloved pieces, forgive them, and let your love enter them, envelop them, and include them in your emerging sense of self. Forgive yourself for condemning and withholding love from these parts of yourself. Visualize your reintegration.
Use your broader forgiveness practice to learn where you may be withholding self-love. What aspects of the world do you condemn? What qualities in others do you resent? Can you find those same qualities within yourself? Yes, it’s work. But it’s work worth doing.
This concludes our exploration of the factors that contribute to longevity and life enrichment. There are always exceptions – like the rare centenarian who drinks whiskey for breakfast and doesn’t abide by any of the recommendations on this list – but I figure we might as well hedge our bets and follow these practices to the best of our ability. Also, my focus all along has been to help you get more life out of this life right now – regardless of how much longer it lasts.
I always love getting into conversation with you. Did I miss a good one? What do you plan to do with your newly lengthened life? Share your thoughts about this subject with me and our community.
Be well,
Peter
P.S. If you’re someone who likes to see everything in one place, here’s the whole list for review:
- Love life and live for the present
- Work, stretch, and relax all parts of yourself
- Dance with consciousness
- Reduce media consumption
- Pay attention to your breathing
- Eat less
- Prioritize community and service
- Exchange love and touch
- Optimize your sleep
- Laugh more
- Keep your heart open
- Simplify
- Go with the flow / don’t resist
- Be one with Nature
- Keep growing
- Know your pain body
- Invite the spiritual dimension into your life.
- Be an optimist
- Forgive
- Love yourself
[post_title] => Three Final Keys to Living Longer and Happier
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The holidays are a good time to remember what we’re grateful for, and right now I’m grateful that the holidays are over. Don’t get me wrong, I spent lots of sweet time being with people I love, which is my favorite thing. But I’m happy to get back to my routine, and I find that my “everyday life” – when I’m not surrounded by presents and cookies – provides more challenge for appreciating all that I have to be grateful for. It’s a better workout for my gratitude muscles. (Also, I can get back to my Dreambook, where I have daily prompts for gratitude.)
As I see people around me making new year’s resolutions, hopeful but uncertain if they’ll keep them, I notice that a practice of gratitude is a vital part of developing and believing in our ability to change and to fully accept our role in it, i.e., our creative power.
Resolutions are usually prompted by a feeling that something needs to change. Yet if we only focus on what’s wrong, we’re impotent and miserable. When we decide to make a change, a mentality of “my current situation sucks” probably isn’t enough to carry us through actualizing that change. But a recognition of all that’s good in our lives reminds us (if we’re open to it) that we co-created this. And if we want something different, we can envision a new reality for ourselves and bring it into being.
I believe we’re much more effective at consciously shaping our lives when we do a few simple things.
First, we pay attention and appreciate all the ways in which life is going well for us, all the beauty, all the love, and all the miracles. If you can’t see these things, something is veiling your vision. Cut through it.
How can we hone our creative power if we don’t even recognize it? The more we stop and acknowledge the magic (i.e., practice gratitude) the more magical life becomes, and the more we can appreciate the role we’re playing in it. You don’t have to take my word for it. Just try it for a week (practice gratitude all day, every day). You’ll see.
Second, be sure you’re receiving what you’ve asked for. This is kind of a repetition of my first recommendation, but specifically refers to your receptivity regarding the change you’ve initiated. Make sure there’s space in your life for it, and a willingness to let yourself change. Make sure you notice when your world begins to shift – even minutely – in the direction you’ve intended, and acknowledge that your creative power is working.
Third, release your resistance to having what you’ve asked for. Sometimes we think, “Why on earth would I oppose this?!” And I’m not placing blame here. I’m just saying, be completely truthful with yourself about the hidden (or not-so-hidden) desires and beliefs that may be in opposition to your intention. And let them go. We have three processes for clearing resistance to your intentions in our book, The Well Life that can help.
Why do so many people fail to keep their new year’s resolutions? Easy. They are resistant to making this change and/or they have specific “counter-intentions” that are getting in the way (or put simply, they want something else more).
Many of these counter-intentions are rooted in childhood. For instance, you may have a childhood belief such as “it’s bad to be strong” (because, for instance, that would mean not needing your parents, or it would entail taking back power you’ve given away to others) or “I don’t deserve to be happy” (because, for instance, in pursuing happiness you made a mistake that hurt someone). I don’t agree with Freud on everything, but he was spot-on in asserting that childhood impressions affect us throughout our lives. For many of us, it’s the work of a lifetime to recognize how our inner child is running the show and to shift power to our mature inner adult.
Fourth, be consistent. I’ve heard people say, “The Universe hears your every request, so you don’t have to keep asking over and over.” I believe that it’s true that the Universe doesn’t need to be asked twice – the issue with people not getting what they say they want lies more on the human side of the equation. We change our minds all the time and we lose sight of what we’re bringing into reality.
So I recommend writing your intentions down. Personally, I like to make a ritual out of it, lighting a candle, bringing my full attention to the process, using a nice pen and a special piece of paper, feeling the intention with my whole being, visualizing its actualization, etc. Then, every single day (or twice a day) read what you’ve written and re-embody these intentions.
Finally, don’t indulge in criticizing your life. A gratitude practice helps us maintain perspective throughout each day. And a practice of stepping back – expanding into the awareness that contains this character whose life you’re leading – helps you avoid getting trapped in black-and-white judgments. When you are able to see the big picture, it’s hard to feel cursed.
Be well,
Peter
[post_title] => Forget Resolutions: Gratitude and the Process of Constant Creation
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“All know that the drop merges into the ocean, but few know that the ocean merges into the drop.” - Kabir
Do you know that sensation of being in a room and feeling the entire atmosphere shift when someone walks in? I suppose we all have different degrees of sensitivity to this, but I’m sure you’ve had that experience. For me, it’s particularly obvious if it’s someone I’m close to and they walk in fuming with anger or overcome with sadness. Before they even speak I can feel a palpable change in the energy of the room. It’s as though their energetic wave is crashing on the shore of my own. When I’m well rested and grounded I maintain my ability to let that wave pass right through me, creating a ripple that returns to stillness, I can stay centered letting them have their own feelings. When I’m stressed out, overtired, and overworked that wave can unsteady me or even knock me right off my feet and carry me away.
We all have so much in common. The atoms that make up our body’s molecules, and the iron that courses through our veins all have a shared origin in the explosion of stars. We’re all connected through biology, shared history, and geography - floating together on this tiny blue marble together. We share many of the values that define our humanity - to have purpose, to feel fulfilled, to be healthy, to be happy, and to be safe even though we may disagree on the form those values take. We’re all born, we all die and we’re all connected by the atoms and the molecules that course through us, and through everything, like tiny points of light illuminating our life.
Our thoughts, feelings and actions have vibrations that send ripples into the world around us. Did you know that the electromagnetic field of your heartbeat can be measured several feet outside of your body with specialized equipment? We’re literally sending waves of our presence out around us.
The energy of the people around us can affect our emotions and our strength in a very tangible way. This is why I’m so intent on choosing the people I surround myself thoughtfully. I want a community that helps me laugh more, helps me feel more connected to what’s real and most important, and who I can turn to when I need help.
With a supportive community, we can harness power to give us courage, boost our own energy reserves, jump higher, or run farther. When we’re surrounded by the energy of a group we commit more fully, we engage more deeply, and it increases our own capacity to do whatever it is that we want to do. We’re held more accountable to the way that we show up in the world.
Many people feel at a loss to find the time or opportunity to create a community that helps them with their deepest challenges and lifts them to their highest potential. We don’t always find that in the communities where we engage the most like the family we’re born into, or in our workplace.
Are you ready to access the level of energy that becomes available with support? We have so much power when we share a common goal. Look at all the ways, for good and bad, that we have shaped our planet. Everyone is participating in the creation of their reality, whether they like it or not they’re always involved in molding it. Our combined strength has raw elemental force when it is channeled.
Come check out
Love Rising, a facilitated group to help you tap into your innate gifts to shape the world you want to be a part of.
Love,
Briana
Discover the Love Rising Collective
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