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Early in my career, I found it gratifying to treat pain and I was pretty good at it. The art of choosing the right acupuncture points is fascinating, creative, and even fun. But then I attended a seminar on marketing where the instructor advised, “Choose a specialty and focus on just treating that one thing,” and a friend suggested I should become a pain specialist. At the time, it felt like someone suggesting to a painter, “You should limit yourself to painting only in yellow from now on.”
I was resistant to the idea partly because, like most people, I enjoy variety, and partly because the treatment of pain seemed like superficial work. Fixing sore elbows day in and day out would have been the equivalent of painting only in yellow, so I decided I couldn’t be a fixer of body parts. The only way I could be satisfied – and simultaneously facilitate a deeper level of healing – was to treat whole people.
Over the years since, I’ve come to understand that pain encompasses a huge range of health concerns and it’s often broader than we think. Chronic pain is frequently part of a complex pattern where it may be intertwined with depression, anxiety, anger, grief, psychological trauma, and also with digestive disorders, sleep disturbances, and more. So there’s plenty of opportunity for variety and depth, and there’s also a great need for pain treatments that are more intelligent than pills.
I’ve felt called to educate people on different ways of understanding pain. It helps more than you might think. In 2014, Lancet published a study on the impact of education on people with neck pain. Participants were divided into two groups: half of them got 20 sessions of physical therapy, lasting an hour each. The other half got 30 minutes of education and two follow up phone calls about pain. Throughout the 12-month study, both groups had equal rates of improvement. Spending a short time learning about pain was as effective as twenty hours of physical therapy!
I created an online course to teach people productive ways of understanding pain along with instruction in a wide range of do-it-yourself methods for stopping pain. We also unravel the broader psychological, social, and physiological context that the pain is wrapped up in. I know everybody isn’t going to take this course, though, and there are a few concepts I teach in it that I want to share with the whole world. So I’ll be explaining them in the next couple articles. Even if you’re not in pain now, chances are you’ll experience some in the future, or someone close to you will struggle with it. Knowing what’s going on inside can really help. And as you’ll see, the possible expressions of pain go way beyond our usual definition.
I want the world to understand this because it’s simple, it makes sense, and it gives us an intuitive sense of what to do about it. Here it is: all pain is due to some form of stagnation. When things (blood, food, lymph, energy, feelings, etc.) move freely through us we generally feel good, and when they don’t we feel bad.
Here are some examples. When we have a traumatic injury, there is damaged skin and nerves, crushed or severed blood vessels, torn muscle and other connective tissue, and perhaps broken bone. The damage means that free flow through the area is impeded. Thus, there is stagnation and it hurts.
If we overeat and food is so crammed into our digestive tract that it’s barely moving, this is a form of stagnation and it feels bad. If we have a blood clot that’s blocking the flow, this is stagnation and it’s painful. If blood stops moving through the vessels that serve the heart itself, this is dire stagnation, and it’s intensely painful. If we sleep in a cramped position, are dehydrated, or don’t move much, our muscles can become locked up and irritated – i.e., stagnant – and they hurt.
In the same way, if we lose someone we love and we cling to them even though they’re not physically here anymore, this is mental and emotional stagnation, and it makes the process more painful. If we harbor any negative feeling (rather than allowing it to be felt and to move through us freely) this is a form of emotional stagnation, and so we suffer. Aside: all negative emotions are qualitatively different from positive ones in that they have a restrictive or contractive effect on the body-mind. Positive emotions have an opening or expansive effect.
I’m not implying that if you’re grieving a loss or have been stuck in a state of anger, you should feel bad or wrong for doing this. In fact, if you do so – i.e., if you resist what’s happening or tell yourself, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” – you only compound the stagnation, which makes the pain worse and impedes the healing process.
Resistance is a major cause of stagnation. So, looking at this mechanism in the broadest way, when we resist reality – meaning, we don’t accept any aspect of life (either in the outside world or within our own inner experience) – we contract ourselves, we tighten up, and we limit our own freedom. This causes stagnation and stagnation hurts – physically, mentally, and emotionally. Resistance causes stagnation and stagnation causes pain and suffering. If we resist the pain and suffering, we get caught in a vicious circle.
Although I learned about the connection between stagnation and pain when I was studying acupuncture, it was only through years of treating people and self-exploration that I came to understand the staggering implications of this mechanism and the role that resistance plays. When I began to see pain in this way – all the different forms and how profoundly it affects the course of our lives – it no longer felt like a limited career path!
Before I get into how to use this model to get out of pain, I want to add a few sub-principles. First, all parts of us are interconnected, so stagnation on one level can readily lead to stagnation on another level. For example, if we’re chronically angry, tense, or sad (emotional stagnation) this can eventually show up as, say, a tension headache or lower back pain (physical stagnation). Vice versa, living in a tight and inflexible body (physical stagnation) can contribute to a lack of mental flexibility – rigid thinking, frustration, depression, etc.
Second, because of this interconnection, clearing stagnation on any level tends to promote healthy flow on all levels. For instance, physical exercise is beneficial for depression, because moving the body moves the mind. Likewise, using the mind to imagine energy and blood coursing freely through a painful area of the body can often be as effective as painkillers. For the same reason, if we’re in physical pain, it is always worthwhile to look inward and see if there’s some story or emotional pattern we need to let go of.
Third, while resistance leads to stagnation, acceptance (feeling willingly, not arguing with reality, surrendering) restores flow. Thus, there is often immediate relief from suffering when we stop resisting it. So, to summarize:
- Where there is pain there is stagnation
- Resistance promotes stagnation
- All levels of our being are interconnected, so
- Stagnation can spread between levels
- Movement on one level can alleviate stagnation on multiple levels
- Relinquishing resistance restores the flow
Take some time to think about this and feel into it. And tell me about your experience with it in the comments section below. I’ll explain some ways to utilize this model next week and we’ll also look at an updated Western model of pain.
Be well,
Peter
Learn more about the Live Pain Free course
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Years ago, a woman in her 70s came to see me with a long list of health problems. It seemed there was something wrong with almost every area of her life. As I listened to sound of defeat in her voice as she described the misery she was experiencing, I noticed myself think, “What a mess.” And I realized I was feeling her misery in myself, in my own body.
I also realized I was helping to perpetuate her situation. I know we’re crossing into woo-woo territory here, but hear me out. Built into virtually any longstanding pain or health problem is a secondary factor – one’s resistance to the experience. The resistance can both magnify the issue and cause it to become more firmly anchored in us. And even though she probably wasn’t conscious of it, I was validating that resistance by sending a subtle negative communication: “I resist your problems, too. I’m uncomfortable just imagining what your life is like. And just as you don’t accept this facet of your experience, neither do I.”
At the time I was studying a form of healing called Sat Nam Rasayan which entails the healer entering a meditative state wherein any sense of separation or resistance disappears. As one welcomes all perception, internal and external – thoughts, smells, sounds, feelings, tastes, images, etc. – an experience of equalization occurs. The “quiet” perceptions – a hidden thought, the air moving across one’s skin, a distant scent – come up in volume. And the “loud” perceptions – a prominent thought, a fire engine passing by, a sharp pain, a strongly scented detergent – come down in volume. All things meet in the middle, in an experience of deeply peaceful, neutral oneness, and there, healing happens.
So, when I noticed my resistance to this woman’s story, I relaxed. I accepted all of her and I accepted the feelings that arose in me as she spoke, and all the others in the room, from the sun streaming through the skylight to the ticking of the clock to the feeling of my clothes on my body, plus numerous other smells, thoughts, tastes, and feelings. I allowed it all to equalize into a sort of perceptual flatline, and I experienced a sense of expansion of the space within and around us.
And then she changed.
She stopped talking for a moment, blinked, and took a deep breath. Then her voice had a different, stronger quality to it as she said, “You know, I’m going to get healthy again. Tell me what to do.”
Usually I restrain myself from prescribing a total life overhaul because it’s simply too much for most people to implement at once. And if they dive in and then fail, it may hurt their ability to trust themselves and undermine future efforts toward healthy change. But in this case, I felt daring. I laid out all the things I thought she should change, from diet to sleep to her relationship with her adult children.
Months passed and she didn’t return. I wondered if my treatment didn’t work, or if I pushed her too hard, or if she had died. Hey, sometimes that’s just where your mind goes. Anyway, eventually, I saw her name in the appointment book and I was eager to hear what happened.
It was one of the most dramatic transformations I’ve ever seen in a patient. She was a new woman. Her eyes were clear and sharp, her voice was strong, she sat up straight and looked confident and youthful. I asked her, “Were you able to make any of the changes I recommended?”
“All of them,” she replied.
And that was pretty much that. I saw her a few more times for minor things, but she just didn’t need me. Of course, we can assume that her own actions were instrumental in her healing, but I tell you, everything shifted when I chose to hold her differently.
Since then, I try to avoid mirroring people’s resistance back to them. I feel the angst of their struggle with unwanted experiences and I work to accept the whole individual, allowing their state to equalize into the broader field of my awareness. I can’t say I always succeed at this or that the result is always miraculous when I do. In fact, I’ve found it’s best not to do it for the result. I just do it because there’s no point in resisting. And because I’d rather see people as I believe they really are – not victims of their circumstances, but powerful and perfect, and temporarily confused about who and what they really are.
So, let’s try some more equalization this week. Notice your resistance. Notice others’ resistance. As you perceive it, broaden your perception to include more and more of your total mental and multisensory experience, allowing the field to equalize. Allowing the subtle to come up and the noisy to settle down, everything evening into a still neutrality. Then share your experience here, if you feel like it.
Be well,
Dr. Peter Borten
P.S. If you missed my first article on equalization last week, you can click here to read it.
P.P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about this and other approaches for resolving pain of all kinds, check out my new online course, Live Pain Free.
[post_title] => The Secret Ways We Help and Hinder Each Other
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[post_content] => In this video, Dr. Peter Borten explains why he's seen neck pain become so prevalent in the last decade, and shares some really effective and easy ways you can treat (and avoid) your own neck pain at home.
Do you have tips for combatting neck pain? Please share with us in the comments below!
[post_title] => Talking Wellness with Peter: Treating Neck Pain
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Early in my career, I found it gratifying to treat pain and I was pretty good at it. The art of choosing the right acupuncture points is fascinating, creative, and even fun. But then I attended a seminar on marketing where the instructor advised, “Choose a specialty and focus on just treating that one thing,” and a friend suggested I should become a pain specialist. At the time, it felt like someone suggesting to a painter, “You should limit yourself to painting only in yellow from now on.”
I was resistant to the idea partly because, like most people, I enjoy variety, and partly because the treatment of pain seemed like superficial work. Fixing sore elbows day in and day out would have been the equivalent of painting only in yellow, so I decided I couldn’t be a fixer of body parts. The only way I could be satisfied – and simultaneously facilitate a deeper level of healing – was to treat whole people.
Over the years since, I’ve come to understand that pain encompasses a huge range of health concerns and it’s often broader than we think. Chronic pain is frequently part of a complex pattern where it may be intertwined with depression, anxiety, anger, grief, psychological trauma, and also with digestive disorders, sleep disturbances, and more. So there’s plenty of opportunity for variety and depth, and there’s also a great need for pain treatments that are more intelligent than pills.
I’ve felt called to educate people on different ways of understanding pain. It helps more than you might think. In 2014, Lancet published a study on the impact of education on people with neck pain. Participants were divided into two groups: half of them got 20 sessions of physical therapy, lasting an hour each. The other half got 30 minutes of education and two follow up phone calls about pain. Throughout the 12-month study, both groups had equal rates of improvement. Spending a short time learning about pain was as effective as twenty hours of physical therapy!
I created an online course to teach people productive ways of understanding pain along with instruction in a wide range of do-it-yourself methods for stopping pain. We also unravel the broader psychological, social, and physiological context that the pain is wrapped up in. I know everybody isn’t going to take this course, though, and there are a few concepts I teach in it that I want to share with the whole world. So I’ll be explaining them in the next couple articles. Even if you’re not in pain now, chances are you’ll experience some in the future, or someone close to you will struggle with it. Knowing what’s going on inside can really help. And as you’ll see, the possible expressions of pain go way beyond our usual definition.
I want the world to understand this because it’s simple, it makes sense, and it gives us an intuitive sense of what to do about it. Here it is: all pain is due to some form of stagnation. When things (blood, food, lymph, energy, feelings, etc.) move freely through us we generally feel good, and when they don’t we feel bad.
Here are some examples. When we have a traumatic injury, there is damaged skin and nerves, crushed or severed blood vessels, torn muscle and other connective tissue, and perhaps broken bone. The damage means that free flow through the area is impeded. Thus, there is stagnation and it hurts.
If we overeat and food is so crammed into our digestive tract that it’s barely moving, this is a form of stagnation and it feels bad. If we have a blood clot that’s blocking the flow, this is stagnation and it’s painful. If blood stops moving through the vessels that serve the heart itself, this is dire stagnation, and it’s intensely painful. If we sleep in a cramped position, are dehydrated, or don’t move much, our muscles can become locked up and irritated – i.e., stagnant – and they hurt.
In the same way, if we lose someone we love and we cling to them even though they’re not physically here anymore, this is mental and emotional stagnation, and it makes the process more painful. If we harbor any negative feeling (rather than allowing it to be felt and to move through us freely) this is a form of emotional stagnation, and so we suffer. Aside: all negative emotions are qualitatively different from positive ones in that they have a restrictive or contractive effect on the body-mind. Positive emotions have an opening or expansive effect.
I’m not implying that if you’re grieving a loss or have been stuck in a state of anger, you should feel bad or wrong for doing this. In fact, if you do so – i.e., if you resist what’s happening or tell yourself, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” – you only compound the stagnation, which makes the pain worse and impedes the healing process.
Resistance is a major cause of stagnation. So, looking at this mechanism in the broadest way, when we resist reality – meaning, we don’t accept any aspect of life (either in the outside world or within our own inner experience) – we contract ourselves, we tighten up, and we limit our own freedom. This causes stagnation and stagnation hurts – physically, mentally, and emotionally. Resistance causes stagnation and stagnation causes pain and suffering. If we resist the pain and suffering, we get caught in a vicious circle.
Although I learned about the connection between stagnation and pain when I was studying acupuncture, it was only through years of treating people and self-exploration that I came to understand the staggering implications of this mechanism and the role that resistance plays. When I began to see pain in this way – all the different forms and how profoundly it affects the course of our lives – it no longer felt like a limited career path!
Before I get into how to use this model to get out of pain, I want to add a few sub-principles. First, all parts of us are interconnected, so stagnation on one level can readily lead to stagnation on another level. For example, if we’re chronically angry, tense, or sad (emotional stagnation) this can eventually show up as, say, a tension headache or lower back pain (physical stagnation). Vice versa, living in a tight and inflexible body (physical stagnation) can contribute to a lack of mental flexibility – rigid thinking, frustration, depression, etc.
Second, because of this interconnection, clearing stagnation on any level tends to promote healthy flow on all levels. For instance, physical exercise is beneficial for depression, because moving the body moves the mind. Likewise, using the mind to imagine energy and blood coursing freely through a painful area of the body can often be as effective as painkillers. For the same reason, if we’re in physical pain, it is always worthwhile to look inward and see if there’s some story or emotional pattern we need to let go of.
Third, while resistance leads to stagnation, acceptance (feeling willingly, not arguing with reality, surrendering) restores flow. Thus, there is often immediate relief from suffering when we stop resisting it. So, to summarize:
- Where there is pain there is stagnation
- Resistance promotes stagnation
- All levels of our being are interconnected, so
- Stagnation can spread between levels
- Movement on one level can alleviate stagnation on multiple levels
- Relinquishing resistance restores the flow
Take some time to think about this and feel into it. And tell me about your experience with it in the comments section below. I’ll explain some ways to utilize this model next week and we’ll also look at an updated Western model of pain.
Be well,
Peter
Learn more about the Live Pain Free course
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