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Give a Dragontree gift card to your someone special. We offer a variety of services to calm the mind, mend the body, and delight the person you cherish.
Click here to purchase!
[post_title] => Give Peace this Valentine's Day
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[post_date] => 2023-05-11 21:19:32
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I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about the prevalence of life coaches and other professionals who aim to guide others toward reaching their goals or finding psycho-spiritual wellness. He was feeling concerned that there has been a certain commodification of personal growth. While I agreed that this is one facet of how we’ve treated personal growth, I believe that on the whole the notion that we can change who we are has been good for us.
The fundamental issue is that humans suffer. We feel overwhelmed, lost, fearful, confused, alone, angry, sad, etc. This suffering has been compounded by a trend toward disconnection from our foundations. Overall, humans have less of an everyday connection to nature, spirituality, and other humans than in the past. So, there has always been a need for help, and this need has become more acute recently.
Meanwhile, there has also been a trend in the last several decades toward more open discussion on the human psyche, spirit, and potential. We’re freer than ever to speak about our thoughts and feelings, and we explore perspectives from other cultures. We’re more willing than previous generations to see things in a new way, update our customs, change careers, and become someone different than we’ve been. Thus, more than ever we have people who feel a calling to assist others in these ways. Do they deserve to be compensated for their help? I say yes.
The ubiquity of such helpers is a good thing. There are a lot of people needing help. Further, the prevalence of such guides has made everyone up their game. No longer is an exotic outfit or accent qualification enough to be a guru. Consumers are more savvy. And a wonderful byproduct of the expansion of the personal growth field is that it’s not limited to a particular socioeconomic class. There is an incredible abundance of free and cheap resources out there – articles, podcasts, books, videos, and support groups.
If you are able to work one-on-one with a coach you resonate with, there are lots of good reasons to do it:
Accountability: Often we don’t hold ourselves accountable for what we say we’re going to do and who we say we want to be. Having someone else to track us and remind us to stay on course is often all it takes for us to follow through.
Wisdom: A great coach has learned some things, and many can tap into a repository of wisdom that goes well beyond their personal experience.
Holding Space: A good coach knows how to hold a container in which their clients can safely experience whatever they’re struggling with, explore and unravel their challenges, and find their way to healing, growth, and evolution.
Seeing Your Patterns of Dysfunction: One of the most useful functions a coach can serve is pointing out what you can’t see, like the way you keep sabotaging good jobs, or how to don’t maintain healthy boundaries in relationships. We can’t fix what we don’t see.
Seeing Your Light: Often we have no problem seeing what’s “wrong” with us; the real hurdle is seeing what’s right. A good coach is there to point out your gifts, your value, your potential, and all the ways you’re managing with grace.
Hand Holding: While this is a role many a good friend has performed, it’s another thing coaches can do for us. Sometimes we know where we want to go, we know what we need to do, but we just feel intimidated. Having someone hold our hand through it may feel like a silly thing to ask for, but if it gets us to do what we’re here to do, it’s an invaluable service.
Wishing you the guide who will coax out your greatness,
Peter
[post_title] => Six Ways a Coach Can Help You Reach Your True Potential
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[post_content] => I have written so much about what and how to eat, so I thought I’d say a few words about what we might do before and after a meal to enhance the experience.
First, the before-meals recommendations:
1) Set an intention. This applies to food, medicine, and supplements, though I think it especially makes sense for medicine and supplements because you had a specific outcome in mind when you bought them.
I believe there’s some value in stating to yourself what you want to happen whenever you put something into your body. Even if you’re doubtful about your ability to influence your body’s inner workings, perhaps you’ll find it worthwhile to just get clear for a moment on why exactly you’re swallowing something. But if we consider how powerful the placebo effect is – it’s not a matter of being fooled into believing we feel better, but a very real ability to cause our bodies and minds to change – isn’t this worth taking full advantage of?
When I say “set an intention,” I don’t mean you have to have an elaborate ritual (although if you want to light a candle and take your time with it, that’s great). I really just mean taking about 10 to 30 seconds to close your eyes, recognize that you’re about to introduce a new influence into your system, state clearly what you intend to get out of it, and feel grateful.
What do you want this new influence to do? Please you with its flavor, texture, and a satisfying feeling in your stomach? Make you feel grounded? Give you energy? Nourish you in the deepest places? Calm your mind? Repair something that is out of balance? Help you feel connected to the world? Build your muscles? Expressing your choice may make a difference.
2) Make sure you’re hungry. I should have said this first, but I wanted to make sure you saw the part about intention. It should be at least two hours since you last ate, and in my opinion, it’s best to avoid snacking between meals (though four or five small meals per day is fine). If it has been several hours since you last ate and you know you should be hungry, but you have a poor appetite, you can try taking some bitters before the meal, such as 15 drops of gentian tincture in a little water. Others prefer blends of bitters with aromatic herbs, such as citrus peel, cardamom, and ginger. Luckily, there is a wide selection of great bitters these days.
3) Make sure you’re not starving. If you skipped breakfast and now it’s lunch time, it’s quite possible that you’re going to eat faster than your body would like and more than your body would like. If meal skipping is a common thing for you, it’s also possible that your metabolism has slowed down, and it will be easy to eat more than your body can readily burn. I recommend not going more than about four hours between meals. If you’re already starving, of course you need to eat, but try doing it slowly. Next time, eat sooner.
4) Let everything go. Stop moving, sit down, and to the best of your ability, set aside anything you’re worrying about. Now it’s time to feed yourself and that deserves your full attention and enjoyment.
After you eat:
1) Set an intention again. You can spare 10 seconds to do this. You just filled yourself up and maybe forgot about that starting intention until now. So, once again, consider what you would like to happen with what you just consumed and state it clearly to yourself. For example: “Thank you for this meal. I intend that all the nutrients will be well absorbed and will go exactly where they’re needed in my body.” Or, “I’m grateful for this meal and intend to be thoroughly nourished and energized by it.”
Once, when I was doing a lot of qigong, I went out to eat with a friend. After finishing my food, while continuing to converse with her, I imagined I was sucking all the energy from the food through my digestive tract into all my cells. It was something I was practicing at the time, it only took a minute, and I thought I wasn’t giving any outward appearance of doing anything. But my friend’s eyes bulged out and she yelled, “What the hell did you just do?!” I explained what I had been up to and was very curious as to what she perceived. She said she couldn’t really explain it, but that it looked like my whole body came alive (I’m assuming she meant more alive). Regardless of what it looked like to her, I was just struck by the fact that my internal visualization had an outwardly noticeable effect. So, try it!
2) Relax. If possible, don’t get right back to your work or something that stresses you out. Give your body at least a few minutes to assimilate what you just consumed.
3) Take a walk. Vigorous exercise right after eating isn’t a great idea, but a walk is fine (after a brief rest), and will assist with digestion, especially after a big meal.
Give these easy practices a try. I believe that even if your food choices aren’t always excellent, you’ll be much better off if you observe these simple acts. Let me know what happens.
Be well ,
Dr. Peter Borten
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Give a Dragontree gift card to your someone special. We offer a variety of services to calm the mind, mend the body, and delight the person you cherish.
Click here to purchase!
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