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Six Ways to Build a Healthy Life Structure That Will Direct You Towards Your Dreams

Last week we looked at ways to sweeten your life, a concept from my and Briana’s book, The Well Life, which also forms much of the foundation material for the… Read More

Three Ways to Sweeten Your Life

Several years ago Briana and I wrote The Well Life, a book on how to achieve wellness and balance in all domains of life – physical, mental, spiritual, financial, career,… Read More

Coaching Origin Sandwich

Several years ago, a growing number of people who had read my and Briana’s books or taken our courses began asking us to train them to coach others using the… Read More

Why We Want You to Become Wealthy and Enlightened

Even if you’re not in the medical world like me, you probably still hear a lot about the COVID vaccine. There are people with very strong feelings for and against… Read More

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Today the earth’s tilt toward the sun is at a maximum in the Northern Hemisphere (happy winter solstice to our friends in the Southern Hemisphere), giving us the longest day and shortest night of the year. Do you know why the summer solstice isn’t also the hottest time of year? This is because the water and land are still holding onto a lot of cold from the winter. As the water and land heat up – and sun-reflecting snow disappears, and spring clouds give way to more sun – the days continue to get hotter even though they’re also getting shorter. Speaking of which, I find it interesting that although this feels like the beginning of the long days of summer, the days will actually be getting shorter starting tomorrow. Since today is the peak of day length, it’s also the start of the decline of light that will culminate in the winter solstice, the year’s darkest day. How did you feel when you read the last paragraph? Were you disappointed to read about the days getting shorter? I know some of you thrive in the darkness and the winter, but many of us – even the winter-lovers – have a hard time with the idea of the sunshine diminishing (especially when it feels like winter just ended). But the summer solstice is an ideal time to learn nonattachment and how to choose our internal orientation. The ancient text, Yi Jing (or The Book of Changes), discusses the fundamental states of nature and how they represent all the phenomena and dynamics of human life. This moment is well described in the chapter called Zenith (hexagram 55). The book explains that while the zenith of any cycle is a time of abundance, achievement, and excitement, by definition it doesn’t last. Whether it’s the solstice, the orgasm, or the moment when you blow out your birthday candles and everyone’s loving attention is directed at you, there’s nothing we can do to hoard or protect our peak experiences. The best way to retain the essence of these luminous moments is to be totally present in them: releasing any agenda; being fully engaged in the here-and-now; letting the energy flow freely through us and sharing the warmth and brightness with others. Conducting ourselves this way also ensures less of a comedown afterwards. If you tend to feel attached to life’s peak moments and are reluctant for them to end, how would you describe the virtuous quality of the experience you have in these moments (which you may believe is otherwise lacking in the “normal” times after the peak subsides)? Abundance? Connection? Love? Peace? Unity? Whatever the quality, I want to suggest that this quality is always within you. It just gets “turned on” when you feel the circumstances are magical enough to warrant it. But you are the one who chooses it. You turn it on. It’s possible to change your orientation to this virtue so that you consciously operate from this virtue (for example, operating from an internal orientation of abundance) rather than treating it as something the world does to you when you’re lucky. Or something you can manipulate yourself, others, and the external world into delivering to you. Believe it. Believe that change is possible – because it is. Choose it. Keep choosing it. Over and over and over and over. Keep choosing it. Did I mention that this is something you need to choose and re-choose and re-choose? Remember, you’re a creator and this is your central creative power. And choose your orientation again. As you notice a change, really notice the change. Tell yourself, “It’s working.” Journal about it. Stay committed to it. Keeping choosing. And when your ego suggests, “Ok, great, we can stop now,” tell it, “No thanks. I’m going to be this way forever. I’ve been waiting for this, and now it’s my new M.O.” I’m happy for you. Love, Peter [post_title] => Stop Waiting for Life to Give You What You Can Choose for Yourself [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => stop-waiting-for-life-to-give-you-what-you-can-choose-for-yourself [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2021-06-17 19:12:59 [post_modified_gmt] => 2021-06-17 19:12:59 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8282 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [1] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8244 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2021-04-23 22:07:58 [post_date_gmt] => 2021-04-23 22:07:58 [post_content] => Over the years of getting to know the graduates of our life coach training program, I’ve found that everyone has a special gift (or several). One that’s especially beautiful to witness is the gift of seeing the light in people. The thing is, we’re wired to focus on flaws. It goes all the way back to our most animalistic survival mechanisms. Problems can alert us to danger. A pain in our foot might be telling us that it’s inside an alligator’s mouth. A crack in a wall might mean that it’s about to come crashing down on us. A disability might be a liability when we need to run or climb or fight. Our biological instinct to fixate on the negative is reinforced by plenty of social programming to the same effect. In today’s minds, the thoughts and observations born from this survival mechanism look more like this: I should be in better shape. I’m not productive enough. I’m missing out. There’s something wrong with me. I’m probably going to get cancer. People don’t like me. My skin looks bad. I don’t have enough money. I’m never going to do anything impressive with my life. These judgments are almost always useless and inaccurate. And because we’re usually only semi-conscious of them, tend to go unchallenged. The result of spending more energy thinking about what’s wrong than what’s right is an epidemic obstruction of the light within us. We forget that who/what we really are is perfect, peaceful, and powerful. Resurrecting our light has two facets: (1) clearing away whatever obstructs it; and (2) inviting the light to shine within and beyond us, making ourselves beacons in the world. When you make a practice of seeing the light in others, your own will naturally emerge. As you go through your day, try to see the light in each person you encounter. Even someone who would tell you everything’s going wrong if their life. Even when a mask covers most of their face. Even the cop that’s writing you a speeding ticket. Even the politician you dislike. What happens when you speak directly to someone’s light? What changes about your interaction? What happens when you communicate from your light to theirs? Part of why we feel this is such an essential aspect of coach training is that you may be the only one in a given individual’s life who’s actively looking for their light. You may be the only one who notices that it’s been obscured but believes it’s still in there. The person themselves may barely realize what’s happened or understand why life feels heavy. Their friends and family may be in the same boat, or they may be so accustomed to seeing them this way that they simply reflect back an attitude that seems to confirm that “this is just how you are.” It’s a gift to both you and the other party to focus on their virtuous core and call it forth with an inner attitude of, “Regardless of what you tell me of your challenges and limitations, and regardless of your history, I see what’s inside you. I know what you have the potential to be.” By the way, if reading this feels thrilling, like your heart is saying, “Yes! I want to do this for my fellow humans!” then I encourage you to take our life coach training program. Even if you aren’t in a position to change careers, it’s a learning and growing experience that will deeply enrich your life and forever change how you to relate to others. Be well, Peter [post_title] => See the Light in People [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => see-the-light-in-people [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2021-04-23 22:08:19 [post_modified_gmt] => 2021-04-23 22:08:19 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://thedragontree.com/?p=8244 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 1 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [2] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8140 [post_author] => 1 [post_date] => 2020-12-24 22:23:26 [post_date_gmt] => 2020-12-24 22:23:26 [post_content] => If you’re interested in health and breathing, you’ve probably heard of Wim Hof, AKA the Iceman. He’s best known as that crazy Dutch guy who has broken all sorts of world records for exposure to cold, such as fastest barefoot half marathon in snow, longest swim under ice, and longest time in direct, full-body contact with ice. His secret is a special breathing method based on a Tibetan Buddhist practice called tummo. In one study, monks practicing tummo were able to raise the temperature of their fingers and toes by as much as 14.9 degrees Fahrenheit! Dramatic impacts from breathing are also common among anyone who’s done “hypnobirthing” or Lamaze. The Lamaze Technique was developed by French doctor Fernand Lamaze about 70 years ago as a method for giving birth more naturally. It was based on earlier techniques used by women for centuries to manage – or even completely transform – the pain of childbirth with breathing techniques and reframing. Since he founded the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center in 1979, Jon Kabat-Zinn has been guiding people to get out of pain using mindfulness techniques, of which intentional focus on the breath is central. Moreover, many of the patients in this clinic are dealing with terminal illness and the majority report experiencing greater peace about their condition through these practices. There’s an abundance of evidence that simply changing the way we breathe can have a dramatic impact on pain – whether it’s the pain of prolonged exposure to extreme cold, the pain of childbirth, or the pain of cancer. In my online pain management course, Live Pain Free, I teach many breathing techniques for pain relief. A good place to start is by simply bringing your attention to your breath throughout the day. Breathing can be completely unconscious, which, for most modern humans, means it’s shallow and rapid – a terrible combination for pain and its associated stress. As soon as we notice it, the breath becomes longer and deeper, even without intending it. If we do bring some intention to it, the breath becomes a magnificent always-available tool for shifting consciousness and altering sensory perception. Take a moment to bring all of your attention to a single breath. See how well you can give the whole of your focus to that breath. I’ll wait. Isn’t it amazing (and unfortunate) how the mind can wander during the space of one breath?! It’s a tricky but simple practice: pay complete attention to the inhale and exhale. Then keep going. If you notice you’re distracted, bring yourself back to the breath. Spend no time or energy following the trains of thought that arise or pondering they keep showing up. It’s just the nature of the mind. This in itself is enough of a practice to calm your whole system, to expand your awareness, and to alleviate pain. As an optional second step, try inviting the experience of whatever pain you may be experiencing – physical pain, emotional pain, the pain of worrisome thoughts about the world, etc. – into the space of your breath. Let your pain be here without fighting it. As you inhale, intend that you’re becoming more and more open (you can even try mentally repeating “open… open… open… open…”. As you exhale, intend that you’re releasing any pain, resistance, or stagnation. Be curious about what you find and feel. Refrain from judging or resisting. Just “turn toward” whatever you discover, and keep breathing slow and deep. Allow the inhale to draw breath way down into the base of the belly. Allow the exhale to carry out the air from the deepest pockets of your lungs – and all the little nooks of your being. Be well, Dr. Peter Borten [post_title] => Mind (Breath) Over Pain [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => mind-breath-over-pain [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2020-12-24 22:23:26 [post_modified_gmt] => 2020-12-24 22:23:26 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => http://thedragontree.com/?p=8140 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 2 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) ) [post_count] => 3 [current_post] => -1 [in_the_loop] => [post] => WP_Post Object ( [ID] => 8282 [post_author] => 3 [post_date] => 2021-06-17 19:12:59 [post_date_gmt] => 2021-06-17 19:12:59 [post_content] => Happy Summer Solstice! Today the earth’s tilt toward the sun is at a maximum in the Northern Hemisphere (happy winter solstice to our friends in the Southern Hemisphere), giving us the longest day and shortest night of the year. Do you know why the summer solstice isn’t also the hottest time of year? This is because the water and land are still holding onto a lot of cold from the winter. As the water and land heat up – and sun-reflecting snow disappears, and spring clouds give way to more sun – the days continue to get hotter even though they’re also getting shorter. Speaking of which, I find it interesting that although this feels like the beginning of the long days of summer, the days will actually be getting shorter starting tomorrow. Since today is the peak of day length, it’s also the start of the decline of light that will culminate in the winter solstice, the year’s darkest day. How did you feel when you read the last paragraph? Were you disappointed to read about the days getting shorter? I know some of you thrive in the darkness and the winter, but many of us – even the winter-lovers – have a hard time with the idea of the sunshine diminishing (especially when it feels like winter just ended). But the summer solstice is an ideal time to learn nonattachment and how to choose our internal orientation. The ancient text, Yi Jing (or The Book of Changes), discusses the fundamental states of nature and how they represent all the phenomena and dynamics of human life. This moment is well described in the chapter called Zenith (hexagram 55). The book explains that while the zenith of any cycle is a time of abundance, achievement, and excitement, by definition it doesn’t last. Whether it’s the solstice, the orgasm, or the moment when you blow out your birthday candles and everyone’s loving attention is directed at you, there’s nothing we can do to hoard or protect our peak experiences. The best way to retain the essence of these luminous moments is to be totally present in them: releasing any agenda; being fully engaged in the here-and-now; letting the energy flow freely through us and sharing the warmth and brightness with others. Conducting ourselves this way also ensures less of a comedown afterwards. If you tend to feel attached to life’s peak moments and are reluctant for them to end, how would you describe the virtuous quality of the experience you have in these moments (which you may believe is otherwise lacking in the “normal” times after the peak subsides)? Abundance? Connection? Love? Peace? Unity? Whatever the quality, I want to suggest that this quality is always within you. It just gets “turned on” when you feel the circumstances are magical enough to warrant it. But you are the one who chooses it. You turn it on. It’s possible to change your orientation to this virtue so that you consciously operate from this virtue (for example, operating from an internal orientation of abundance) rather than treating it as something the world does to you when you’re lucky. Or something you can manipulate yourself, others, and the external world into delivering to you. Believe it. Believe that change is possible – because it is. Choose it. Keep choosing it. Over and over and over and over. Keep choosing it. Did I mention that this is something you need to choose and re-choose and re-choose? Remember, you’re a creator and this is your central creative power. And choose your orientation again. As you notice a change, really notice the change. Tell yourself, “It’s working.” Journal about it. Stay committed to it. Keeping choosing. And when your ego suggests, “Ok, great, we can stop now,” tell it, “No thanks. I’m going to be this way forever. I’ve been waiting for this, and now it’s my new M.O.” I’m happy for you. Love, Peter [post_title] => Stop Waiting for Life to Give You What You Can Choose for Yourself [post_excerpt] => [post_status] => publish [comment_status] => open [ping_status] => open [post_password] => [post_name] => stop-waiting-for-life-to-give-you-what-you-can-choose-for-yourself [to_ping] => [pinged] => [post_modified] => 2021-06-17 19:12:59 [post_modified_gmt] => 2021-06-17 19:12:59 [post_content_filtered] => [post_parent] => 0 [guid] => https://thedragontree.com/?p=8282 [menu_order] => 0 [post_type] => post [post_mime_type] => [comment_count] => 0 [filter] => raw [webinar_id] => 0 ) [comment_count] => 0 [current_comment] => -1 [found_posts] => 178 [max_num_pages] => 4 [max_num_comment_pages] => 0 [is_single] => [is_preview] => [is_page] => [is_archive] => 1 [is_date] => [is_year] => [is_month] => [is_day] => [is_time] => [is_author] => [is_category] => 1 [is_tag] => [is_tax] => [is_search] => [is_feed] => [is_comment_feed] => [is_trackback] => [is_home] => [is_privacy_policy] => [is_404] => [is_embed] => [is_paged] => [is_admin] => [is_attachment] => [is_singular] => [is_robots] => [is_favicon] => [is_posts_page] => [is_post_type_archive] => [query_vars_hash:WP_Query:private] => bf12c0bfbd25dcd87fc676da68616174 [query_vars_changed:WP_Query:private] => [thumbnails_cached] => [stopwords:WP_Query:private] => [compat_fields:WP_Query:private] => Array ( [0] => query_vars_hash [1] => query_vars_changed ) [compat_methods:WP_Query:private] => Array ( [0] => init_query_flags [1] => parse_tax_query ) )

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Stop Waiting for Life to Give You What You Can Choose for Yourself

See the Light in People

Mind (Breath) Over Pain

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